K.S. asks from Pasadena, MD on March 07, 2007
My Son Is moody...help!!
I have a 2 1/2 year old Boy Who is so moody its unreal.One minute hes happy the next minute hes mad.He yells alot for no reason and throws things..I have tried alot with him but he just want to go nuts..he loves to throw himself down on the ground.When i tell him No..He always wants to do everything his way and will not sit still..He is the hardest baby I have had for sure.Do you have any ideas what to do with my moody boy?
So What Happened?™
Hello,Thank you all for your wonderful advice.My son has been so good this week.I have been talking to him more about his feelings and making him do more things . and i have been changing his pattern a bit something new for him..it keeps him guessing.I feel like hes a new little man so far so good.He also loves play doe its relaxes him.I think I got him in a new direction that will work out just fine.Thank you.....
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D.B. answers from Philadelphia on March 07, 2008
Hi K. the advise is good only one thing that I learned years ago from a book that I bought about parenting. Never never never, tell a child he is being a good boy or bad boy. I hear parents say If you are a good boy you will get a,b or c. Or don't be a bad boy etc. The assumption should always be that he is always good, but he makes bad choices. So when he does something that is unacceptable , tell him that you have a problem with his behavior and that you know that he can make a better choice. That puts the power in his hands. If he is still struggling with the choice give him 2 choices and let him pick. Guided empowerment. I have 4 kids and it has worked consistently for the last 16 years. I just wish I could find that book to tell you the title. Good luck. D.
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J.Y. answers from Harrisburg on March 07, 2007
K.-
I had a VERY difficult little man too! Moody sounds like a nice way to describe it :-) When he was about 2, we contacted the IU and had him evaluated. After a team came out and observed him and interviewed me, they decided he qualified for behavioral therapy. They came into our home once a week and worked with him. I found it very helpful. If you decide to go this route, do it now because if you get him in before he's schoolage (age 3) it's free. Once he hits 3, it's harder to get the services because the behavior problems have to directly affect his performance in school. If he won't be in school, that will be a problem! My guy wasn't in school so I was glad we did it early.
One more thing, I used to go into my pediatrician and tell him how difficult my son was and he NEVER told me about these free services. It made me very mad because I could've started them sooner, had I known about it. You have to be the one to request the evaluation and the sooner, the better. Good luck!
2 moms found this helpful
J.B. answers from Scranton on March 07, 2007
I think that's pretty normal for this age. It's a good thing that he has a strong will and a strong sense of self! How is his speech? He may not be able to communicate everything he wants and thinks quite yet, and that's very frustrating. But well within the range of normal. I can't imagine a 2 year old that would actually want to sit still and not want to do things their own way. ;)
When you tell him "no", do you give him options or reasons? It's a lot easier to accept "No, that's hot and would burn you and I don't want you to get hurt" or "No, you can't have a cookie but you can have an apple" than just "No, mommy says no."
I also think it's important to reinforce that it's okay to feel mad, but that there are acceptable ways to express it. You should focus on making sure he's not hurting himself or others, or breaking things, not stopping him from being mad.
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J.D. answers from Washington DC on March 15, 2007
There are only a couple of things I can think of to tell you: Keep his schedule predictable (especially eating and sleeping)and your responses to him predictable and consistent. Two year olds should have about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon and about 12 hrs. of sleep at night. Keep the foods/drinks you give him as healthy as possible. That will help prevent the drop in blood sugar after eating something sweet, which can make people pretty cranky. Bring plenty of distractions with you when you go on outings (books, crayons, matchbox cars, etc.). Don't stay out too long or expect him to behave for too long when doing "adult things." Give him plenty of time for physical play and interaction with friends. Set aside some time each day for cuddling and "tickle scratching" his back. My son calmed down alot in general after doing that for awhile.
The other thing is a book I used, which was great - Making The Terrible Twos Terrific, by John Rosemond. He has very strict ideas about toys and TV, but his behavioral strategies are just fantastic. He will show you how to solve seemingly unsolvable problems. Definite time outs for throwing things. Good luck to you. :)
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S.T. answers from Washington DC on March 11, 2007
My son is now 2 1/2 and probably up until age 1 1/2 showed very little emotion and when he did it was unpleasant. It was very heartbreaking to tell him I loved him for him just to cut his eyes and cross his arms. I could not understand what could cause him to act in such a way. All the doctors would ever say is "he'll grow out of it". He is more than loved by everyone in our big family and I just could not understand. I would calmly ask him questions like what's wrong? are you scared? feeling left out? upset? etc. I just continued to pray and just showered him with unconditional love as always and he eventually smiled more and learned to express his feelings whether positive or negative.
He still gets upset (who doesn't) and says "I mad at you" etc. but he literally says "I love you" ten times as much. The good really weighs out the bad in the end.
I will pray that you will be given wisdom as to how to deal with your son and his moodiness! Let us know his progress!
1 mom found this helpful
A.P. answers from Johnstown on March 08, 2007
Im glad im not the only parent with a moody little man. My son just turned three and I find myself lost in the world of parenting.... So any advice you find, please send some this way!! And good luck!
1 mom found this helpful
D.B. answers from Philadelphia on March 07, 2008
Hi K. the advise is good only one thing that I learned years ago from a book that I bought about parenting. Never never never, tell a child he is being a good boy or bad boy. I hear parents say If you are a good boy you will get a,b or c. Or don't be a bad boy etc. The assumption should always be that he is always good, but he makes bad choices. So when he does something that is unacceptable , tell him that you have a problem with his behavior and that you know that he can make a better choice. That puts the power in his hands. If he is still struggling with the choice give him 2 choices and let him pick. Guided empowerment. I have 4 kids and it has worked consistently for the last 16 years. I just wish I could find that book to tell you the title. Good luck. D.
C.L. answers from Washington DC on March 14, 2007
Your son sounds exactly like my 2 1/2yr old boy!!! I thought i had some wierdly active almost bipolar son! One min he is bouncing off walls the next he is having a melt down over nothing. He gets soo mad when he doesnt get his way! Yet tells me NO all the time. I too am at my wits end with him, nothing seems to work. It also seems to come in spells, he'll be horrible for like 2 wks then so so or like 2 wks! Let me know if you get any good suggestions!!!
C.W. answers from Philadelphia on March 11, 2007
I had that issue with my oldest son---it will fadw away as quickly as it came on. Now I am going through it with my other son ---- and these boys are 20y and 16 yrs old-----help me
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