My Son Is in Iraq and I Am Falling Apart.

Hello,

My name is Nickie and I just got out of the ARMY in June...this website might help Militarywivesandmoms.org also you sould try www.emilitary.org...hope this helps.

Is there a support group you can join of other mamas with kids over there? my cousins & uncle are over there so I do feel for you some *HUG*

aww.. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have 3 kids under 3 right now and i could not imagine what you are going through. Hang in there and pray and i'll be praying with you.
A.

First, please go see your doctor and let them help you by prescribing something. Second, take your nervous energy and do something positive with it. You will go nuts if you just sit around thinking about it.

My husband was a marine in Desert Storm and says the best days were when he received a care package. He says he remembers how you could see the smile in other soldier's eyes when it was mail call and you could also see the disappointment when soldier's did not get anything. Some of his packages came from strangers and it would remind him that people at home still cared. If you need ideas for packages let me know.

Please know that you have raised a great son and my family thanks you. In my opinion there is no greater thing a person can do in their lifetime than to serve their country. This is a great unselfish act. Be proud!!

If my family or I can do anything for you please let me know.

C.

MY HUSBAND CAME HOME FROM IRAQ AFTER BEING DEPLOYED FOR 18 MONTHS...HES BEEN HOME FOR 10 MONTHS NOW. WHEN HE WAS GONE WE WERE ABLE TO TALK ON THE COMPUTER EVERY SO OFTEN....CAN YOU DO THAT?? IT REALLY DOES HELP....BUT IT DOESNT GET EASY...I MEAN I ALWAYS TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT WHEN HE WAS THERE HE KNEW HE WAS OK...HE KNEW THAT HE WAS SAFE AND NOTHING WAS GOING ON.....I DIDNT..I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING. BUT I HAD 3 KIDS I HAD TO BE STRONG FOR.....MY HUSBAND GOT HURT WHILE ON A CONVOY AND IT WAS THE PEOPLE WITH HIM THAT SAVED HIS LIFE..OR PREVENTED HIS DEATH AS WE LIKE TO PUT IT....SO PLEASE KNOW THAT THE MILITARY IS FULL OF CARING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO COME HOME WITHOUT EVERYONE THEY LEFT WITH...THESE MEN AND WOMEN PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE FOR A COUNTRY...BECAUSE THEY KNOW ITS WHAT THEY WERE MEANT TO DO....PROTECTING YOUR SON IS LIKE SECOND NATURE TO THEM..IM SURE HE DOES THE SAME FOR THEM TOO. THERE ARE SEVERAL SUPPORT GROUPS FOR FAMILIES....GO TO THE LOCAL VA OFFICE,...THEY WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO HELP YOU. WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS GONE, I HAD TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY...LIKE THATS HARD WITH 3 KIDS AND 8 HOURS OF SLEEP A NIGHT HUH?? BUT REALLY YOU NEED TO FIND PEOPLE YOU CAN BE WITH ...SURROUND YOURSELF IN ALL THE LOVE YOU CAN...YOU NEED IT RIGHT NOW MORE THAN ANYTHING. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO MAKE A CARE PACKAGE FOR YOUR SON....WOULD THAT BE OK WITH YOU? ID GET MY KIDS IN ON IT AS WELL AS WE WILL PUT SOME PHONE CARDS IN THERE( FOR CALLS TO MOM) AND SOME OTHER LITTLE THINGS...IF THAT IS OK..COULD YOU EMAIL ME HIS NAME AND ADDRESS OVER THERE? I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY. MILITARY TRAINS THE PEOPLE THEY SEND....BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILIES AT HOME......NOT THE EASIEST...BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT AFTER ALL MY GUY WENT THROUGH..IT WASNT SO BAD ON HIM...AND THE DAY HE CAME HOME FOR GOOD..IT WAS LIKE EVERY WORRY HAD BEEN ERASED......BUT THATS WHEN THE NIGHTMARES START AND THATS A WHOLE NEW SET OF WORRIES...MY GUY CRIED ALOT ALTHOUGH HE NEVER KNEW I SAW AND HE STILL HAS ISSUES SO BEING DEPLOYED IS THE EASY PART. YOU GOTTA BE STRONG..EVEN WHEN YOUVE GOT NOTHING TO HOLD ONTO...YOU GOT TO FIND YOUR INNER STRENGTH AND HOLD ON .......GOOD LUCK

I just saw an old post that you had made where your son had been deployed to Iraq and you were having a hard time coping. I felt really strongly that I needed to check on you and see how you are doing. I can't explain it but I just had to write. I hope things are going well for you. Shannon

My husband has been in Iraq for a year. I also had a brother in Iraq for 3 straight years. It is very hard. I totally understand your pain. Just remember that hearing nothing from your son is better than hearing anything at all. It means he is safe and alive. The support groups that they have out there are so wonderful. I used Army One Source for a support group while my husband has been gone. They work wonders. If you would like more information please feel free to email me and I will sure get you the information you need. They can tell you support groups in your area or get you in contact with someone who can help you through this. Also try your family readiness (support) if he is a reservist or a National Gaurd. They are all military family members and can share their stories and give you advice that helps you through the times. Just be sure to send your son lots and lots of mail. Let him know that you are ok and even let him know your pain. It will help him to know that you are supporting him. I am very proud of your son for what he is doing. I honor all military. I am also ex-military myself so I know both sides of the situation you are in. Please just pray everynight. I will keep you and your son in my prayers and in my heart. I wish you the best of luck. Email me if you need anything at all.

I was in the Army for six years. I know how it feels both ways. I know the feelings I had when I was overseas. I know the feelings that I had when I was waiting for someone to comeback to me. It's hard and truthfully it doesn't get better till they come back. All you can do is pray and hope for the best. Just try to keep busy. Make him care packages and get your friends involved with it, the support will work magic. If your friends are keeping your mojo down tell them you want this to be a positive thing. Making use of your time in positive way can be helpful. Maybe you can have your freinds help you make care packages for his unit. Im sure he'd love them (I loved getting fudge, my fav thing for mom to make) and his freinds would think youre the coolest. Make sure you take care of yourself. He would not want you to worry yourself like that. He also would have a hard time if he found out that you were stressing yourself out. He does not want you to worry yourself like that. I will keep you and him in my thoughts.

Check this web site out. It is an online support group for military moms.
http://www.militarymoms.net/
G.

I have no advice for you but I do want you to know that I will pray for your baby boy to be safe and return home quick and for you to relax. God Bless You!!!

Dear C. E.
First know my heart goes out to you , and a safe return to your Son. I am a military wife currently with a husband deployed, he has been gone for over a year. It has not been easy, I had no family around , we moved from the east coast to the midwest for the military. Shortly after the moved he got deployed, We have a seven year old. Who this has been very h*** o*, to help her cope Her and I started Scrapbooking, It gave me a focus and her a way of seeing her dad through the pictures she chose. she put them in the book they way she wanted.. , I have an album done of his 20 year career in the military from day of enlistment to current pictures, he has no clue I have done this .. and I am giving it to him for Christmas.. The other thing I did is I did talk to someone (a Dr.) and I had my Daughter go into and talk to the Guidence counsilors at school. Sorry if I got off subject. If you need a friend or a just some one to listen know you have made connections here and we are all here for you and a the safe return of your son.

Hugs
L.

My now husband went to Iraq and at the time we were only live in boyfriend/girlfriend. What helped me is do NOT watch the news. Get involved with his family support group. This will help make time go by and you get information, especially when it is time for them to return. It really isn't that bad. They do live in trailors, have air conditioning, eat well (BK and Pizza Hut), they get to go shopping, have internet access and phones. Yes, it is scary. I had a lot to lose if my man didn't return. 4 months to the date after his return, we did get married. Your son's fate is in God's hands now. I wish you peace.

OMG Girl!

I have a really hard time with my daughter living on the other side of the US, as it's so hard for us as mothers, to feel out of control, when it comes to protecting our children, as well as missing them so much! I know that you must be going through sheer hell, but keep your chin up and keep thinking positive. You need to be strong for your son, and let him know how proud you are of him! The best thing that you could do for him, aside from the care packages from home, is to sit down and write him a letter every single day, or add to a letter every day, and send it once a week. He's got to be so homesick, and feel so disconnected being over there. Writing to him, letting him know all that's going on back home, will make him stronger and work harder to get back here. I think that this would make you feel more in touch with him, not to mention what it will do for him. I know all of the soldiers have to love getting those letters from home!

I have an idea! Can you post his address, and who ever wants to can send him a care package? I'd love to do this for him, and make his day a little brighter! You'd just have to let me know what the rules are as far as what you can send, and how to label it. Would that be possible?

I just recently went though what you are. Don't fall apart they need you to be strong. I did exactly what you are doing and you are depressed. I Know its hard cause you feel no one understands. Keep the faith for them, don't make them think that something is going to happen to them. The power Moms have is very powerful and we have to be strong for them. Get involved with writing them and tell them whats going on here, they need to feel they are still conected here. To keep your mind stay away from bad news on TV it will drive you crazy....

I will pray for you and your son as well. I think you may want to consider talking with a counselor. I fought severe depression all through college and years after. Sometimes I still have problems with it. What you are describing is exactly what I felt like. What worries me about what you are saying and feeling is that is also changing seasons and when weather gets gloomy and cold, you can also fall into a seasonal depression. I'm glad you are reaching out for help--that's a start. Take care of yourself and know that there are many, many people out there that feel everyone should be home!

Hi C.,
My husband has been deployed twice. The second time I was 5 months pregnant when he left, so he missed my pregnancy and the birth of our little girl. He's out in North Carolina now, and I haven't seen him in 2 months, so even though he's stateside, it's still hard being without him. You just have to keep living day by day, and realize that every day that passes, he is another day closer to coming home. The holidays are by far the worst to get through. Just try to keep yourself busy. Like someone mentioned before, send him lots of care packages. It will give you something to do, and give him something to look forward to as well.

Also, I have some wonderful online forums. I'm not sure what branch of the service your son is in. These two forums are both Marine Corps forums, but I know all the women would welcome you with open arms, because Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard - we all face deployments and we all know the emotions that go along with them. The first forum, which I think you'd really like because there are a lot of moms there is:
http://s12.invisionfree.com/USMC_Families/index.php

The second forum has mainly wives, but quite a few of them are older women and they're all great:
http://www.devildognet.com

If your son is in another branch, and you think you'd feel more comfortable with a forum devoted to his branch, I'm sure you could do a search through Google and find some that will be good for you.

Your son, as well as all of our service members, is in my prayers.

Dear Mom, There is not much more you can do other than pray. YOU have to stay strong, keep going happily and literally push it to the back of your mind. Even though it is right there. Your SON needs to know that EVERYTHING is ok back here at home, and that you are holding strong . May I ask how long he has been gone. If he left recently then it will all come with time. If it has been awhile you might need to talk to someone. I know with my husbands first deployment I went thru a huge bout of depression, but eventually thought about him and what he was there doing. It makes you proud, even though you have the thoughts in your head. His second deployment was just as hard but I learned from the first one. He needs to know he has the moral support, support of all friend, family , etc here and lots of letters, with upbeat things about whats going on. If you go to military .com they have chat rooms with actual people in your situation. They might have more advice !!! Proud Wife of a former MARINE!!!

C., I'm so sorry that your family and you are going through this. I can't imagine how proud and terrified you are. I hope you find some solice and support. I went through a depression several years ago and was put on antidepressants (they're much better and more understood now) and it did help me think a bit more clearly to a point where I was able to deal with things in a healthy manner. Talking with a counselor helped too but talking with friends helped even more. I hope it works out and I'll be praying for both you and your family and the safety and safe return of your son especially.