My Son Drives Me Crazy!

Seems to me that he is just craving attention and wants to see just how far he can push you before a punishment comes. Give him some guidelines for such actions and than follow thru. If you don't this behavior will only continue and get worse as it goes along.
Good Luck

That sounds about right for a 6 y.o. boy. It'll pass. Sort of. Pretty soon he'll start bugging his sister.

Sometimes kids will do things for attention wheather it be good or bad. About what time of the day is he peeing in his pants. Sometimes if kids have a UTI or bladder infection, they can wet there pants because they can't hold it. Also all the words like poop, fart things like that, thye are hearing it from school. My son is 4 and he goes to mothers day out 3 days a week and he has learned all kinds of stuff that we would never say. Good luck. Jennifer

ROFL!! Yeah I've got one too.

Don't worry it's just VERY NORMAL boy behavior. There's nothing wrong with him, other than perhaps needing some reminding that burping farting and bodily effluence jokes are impolite and out of line and rude and....

Boys will make anything into a gun. They're hardwired that way. I tried to keeping toy weapons out of the house and my son just chewed his toast into the shape of a pistol and starting shooting imaginary burglars.

There's NOTHING wrong with him. It may be disturbing to you because you're female and don't understand boys. They have different brains. Look into it. Research the science on the difference in boys and girls' brains, behavior patterns, etc. Don't listen to the propaganda about boys being the same as girls, etc. EVERYTHING he's doing is VERY NORMAL.

If you're concerned, speak to your husband. Unless he's a abusive drunk you can trust what he'll have to say about how your son thinks and what's appropriate. If he were playing with dolls and wearing high heels, then be worried. But this is SO NORMAL!

I highly suggest reading James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys. It's a rambling book and could've used some editing and thus a more difficult read but it has alot of GREAT points. Try it out.

Please please PLEASE don't put your child on drugs just because you don't understand his behavior or he's irritating the ever loving daylights out of you.

ROFLOL!!! Read Whitney's response over and over, then get a good babysitter and go out for a night with the grownups!
Yes, it really is natural for little boys, no matter what we do. When my son was small, I was successful in teaching him 'other' things to say instead of bad things: dang! instead of da_ _; oh, flip! instead of Oh, (well, you know); a favorite one was "rattlesnakes!" I just explained to him that saying the word helps get rid of the stress because of the effort & air to say it, so use a word that's just silly. He grew up to be one of the finest human beings I have ever known. And yes, he did talk like a boy around boys, etc., esp. during those growing years. Yet he grew up respecting ladies, children and elders and their feelings. And he would not let his peers use filthy language, even as a small child. He came right out and told them, "I am a Christian, and I WILL NOT play with you if you have to talk like that!" They stopped rather than lose him as a playmate.
As for the guns, just teach him that he can't aim right at anyone or any thing, and that real guns are very, very dangerous. When he is older, getting to learn to use one makes a big difference.

Hi J.,
I can relate to your concerns. I have six sons and they have all done the "poop" talk and the burping, etc. I have three still at home--ages 12, 15, and 18--and they still get into talking about gross things, often during meal time. And my boys have all made guns out of Legos, sticks, whatever. I remember when my oldest used the letter "L" from his Sesame Street train set and turned it into a gun.

So, in short, most of what your son is going through is perfectly normal. I would advise letting him have a friend over sometimes so they can do the boy stuff together, within your hearing range. Boys really enjoy the camaraderie.

I am more concerned about him wetting his pants. There are no major changes in the home, but is something going on at school? You might want to talk with his teacher and other mothers. He may be worried or distracted about something.

You'll have to live with the gross out stuff for now. Don't make a big deal out of it. He may do some of it for attention, but mostly it's just part of being a boy. I used to be a teacher, too, and I can tell you there really is a difference between boys and girls in terms of how they interact with the world.

Hi J.! While I may not be able to talk about the violent reactions of the wetting the pants, you should know that the "pottie" mouth is very normal for this age. It will last for a few more years, unfortunately. Anything having to do with "pooping, farting, peeing, etc." is extremely funny to them, no matter how gross it may be to you. He is also trying to get a reaction from you - it makes him feel powerful. Especially if he is having trouble controlling his urine, this give him another outlet to control. I would just ignore it or calmly explain to him that some words are just not acceptable in public. As far as the guns, my husband is military, so guns are pretty normal at our house. I would matter-of-factly ask him about it and see what he says. He may just be imitating one of his friends that he admires. He may be repeating something that he heard, you need to get the source. He may also be a little jealous of his sister. My kids are now 12 and 10, but my son can still remember before his sister was born. Good luck!

Hi J.! I'm also ROTFLOL! I know you probably don't think it's very funny, but you will! I also have a 6 1/2 year old, so I'm right there with you! I will reiterate that he is perfectly normal, and so are your reactions. Your son doesn't have ADD, ADHD or anything of the sort, don't even entertain the thought. (Excuse me for being so bold) Your son's enherant (sp?) nature is to defend and protect, to be a hunter, conquerer, victorious. Please don't discourage him, just help him to shoot at something else, conquer something else. Help him build a tall tower-"the tallest ever", and give him challenges to win. And praise him for doing so. With my son, we tell him-don't "shoot" any one in the face, don't "shoot" the dog, etc... Along with the book "Wild at Heart" I encourage you to read "That's My Son" by Rick Henderson. It's a book specifically for women to help them understand their boys. It put everything in perspective for me. God Bless!

He is probably picking these behaviors up at school from other kids, either directly or indirectly. I agree with the other mom who posted- I would ask him if he is being mistreated or bullied by other kids, or talk to his teacher to make sure he is not being picked on excessively. This will cause them to act out sometimes in negative ways, and can explain him suddenly wetting his pants again.

It does sound rather normal, but my son is only 4 and he also does some of this---he is in preschool! But, one of the things I would consider with the pants wetting and the constant chatter is that he might be anxious about something. Oftentimes, particularly with boys who are potty trained, they will start wetting regularly when they are anxious (if it's not an occasional accident)-- we had to change classrooms with my son and the new teacher really set off a month of daily wetting-- it was how she talked to him and he was afraid of her--but that's a whole different post. My point is.... once I resolved the issue with the teacher-- the wetting stopped. However, my son is anxious and cautious by nature and still talks or makes noises (nonsense words) constantly and will pick his nose or chew on his fingers a lot-- all nervous habits. It's just his personality-- so maybe there aren't any changes that you notice -- maybe there is a kid at school or something minor causing the wetting--- try giving him some one-on-one attention and see if that helps with the wetting.
Good luck

Well, kids do things that they see. He has to be seeing it from somewhere. It may be school? If he starts doing the burping and stuff you need to tell him you don't like that and it is not appropriate. If he continues, you need to take things away. Whatever he has! Tv, toys, games, playing outside, etc. If you are consistant with this, he will eventually stop. But remember he is seeing it somewhere. Don't critizize him for it, just tell him you don't like it. Don't put him down. That is definately not the way to handle it. I hope you are able to get control of this situation.

Hi J.!

I agree with many of the responses about the "boy stuff" (burping, grossness, etc) but was a little concerned about him wetting his pants. The other things you listed are more normal for boy behavior but the wetting of the pants is not.

I agree with Sarah, that is a definite warning sign that someone has been inappropriate with him. Talking with him is a good place to start and talking to a neutral 3rd party is a great second step (counseling, etc.).

I hope that that isn't what is going on but (of course) it's always best to make sure & protect your child.

M.

have you had him tested for add, adhd, or touretts? some times disorders like these can cause verbal, and physical out bursts...not sure about the peeing in the pants though...unless he's just distracted and forgets to go.

hi J. ((((hugs))))

they don't always respond to what they see. i'm a single parent of one boy (now 7) and when he was 3, 4, 5, he did the same things. he still does! but back then, he wasn't in school, we've never had cable, i picked our friends very carefully...and yet, he still made guns out of toast (lol whitney!).

i stumbled upon a book called "who's calling the shots?" and it was very illuminating. it was originally (if i remember correctly) a thesis paper that ended up being published. it addressed child's play, and how it's changed since it's been legal to tie in toys with TV shows and movies. but it also goes into how boys and girls are differently wired, etc.

i used to ban guns and gun play. i find it super disturbing. my ds goes around even now saying "i LOVE violence"-- talk about creepy. but he does show plenty of compassion so i'm not worried. he turns his face away from "real" violence in the movies. in spider-man when the uncle gets hit by a car and there's blood in his mouth, my ds can't even watch that. he turns his whole body away, not just his face!
but i don't ban that kind of play anymore. apparently it gets out some sort of stress, or whatever. i just make him go outside where i can't see or hear it, and i check on him visually through the window :-)

as for the peeing, i would check at school-- maybe he's being bullied. maybe he's acting out. i wouldn't stress in front of him or question him too much; it might make it worse.

OH, and the ick language at the table-- for me, i would tell him that "we use polite language at the table" and maybe demonstrate what conversation is about, ie "what was your favorite part of the day?", and if he can't get that, send him away from the table. as for the rest of the house, i'd say "you can talk like that by yourself where nobody can hear you, but i don't like to hear it, and there will be consequenses, so you need to remember". you'll have to fit your own consequenses for whatever works in your family.

good luck! i highly recommend that book. i bet you can find it on www.half.com for a reasonable price.

P.

Go pick up a copy of Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. It will change the way you relate to your son, actually any male in your life. It is worth it's weight in gold!

I'm assuming that you didn't have rowdy brothers . . . Hate to burst your bubble, but he sounds pretty NORMAL! LOL He picks it up from other boys (I assume he's at least in kindergarten at age 6). The more attentions he gets from you about it, the more fun it is (kids LOVE adult attention, whatever kind they can elicit. If they can't get recognized for being good, they'll attract attention by being obnoxious). Ignore or laugh it off as much as possible, express to him your expectations, praise him for every compliance of them, and remember everything's a 'stage' (and brace yourself for all the NEXT several 'stages' that come with rearing kids)!

I live in an area where many of the men are hunters. Try to encourage him to never point a 'gun' at anything breakable nor toward anyone who's not playing the game, but to only 'shoot at' rocks, trees, the ground, toys, a friend who also has a 'gun' (to keep it 'fair game'), etc. If they're gonna do it (and 'boys will be boys'), teach them proper, respectful usage!

Number one, he's probably getting the words and actions from other kids at school. It's not unusual, from what I've seen working in schools and with kids this age. Just don't make too much of it every time he says these things, but calmly explain that it's not nice, etc... And, tell him that if he does do and say these things he will be in time out or whatever you usually would do for punishment. He's looking for shock-value, and if you over react, he's getting it. It's really normal, especially at this age. And as far as the bedwetting, I don't think it's unusual at this age for it to happen now and again, either. However, there could be something going on that's upsetting him at school, with friends, or schoolwork is more difficult than he's letting on, etc., that he's anxious about. I'd talk to him about whether anything's bothering him, first. If he does it consistently or constantly, I wouldn't rule out having him checked out by his doctor. It could be a simple physical issue.
I know, it must be frustrating, but just realize it's not really all that abnormal for kids, especially little boys, to come home doing and saying things that are totally against the norm for them. I'm sure you'll be able to teach him that some things are not acceptable in your household...

Hi J.,
I have a feeling that "this too shall pass".
The important question here is what do you do when he behaves in this manner? Whatever you are doing may be encouraging the behavior. I am by no means blaming you for what is happening. It can definitely be exhausting when this type of behavior is repeated over and over again. But, as parents, we need to understand that negative attention is better than no attention.
Sometimes when parents discipline, they tend to give too much attention to the negative behavior. Some children like this kind of "rise" that they get out of authority figures.
My suggestion would be to sit your child down when he is behaving appropriately and explain what the consequence will be when he misbehaves. Be specific as to what that behavior is when you talk with him. Then, when he misbehaves, and he will, in one sentence, with your normal tone of voice give him the consequence and leave the room. Make sure it is something you can administer without giving him any attention. For example, no playing with Johnny next door today or no television. I'm sure you can find the consequences that would work best for him. If he whines and complains about it, ignore him.
Hope this helps.

Our almost 6 year old Godson started doing the same thing when he started kinddergarden. He was never in preschool before that, so when he went to school he picked up a lot of bad behaviors from other kids (I do not know what your situation is though).He rides the bus with older kids, and besides being called a nigger I can not imagin other stuff that he sees and hears.His parents are going to homeschool next year because school is not doing anything about it.Again I do not know if your son has always done it or just started........my 2 cents.

J.,
He's all boy...I have an eleven yo boy! Somehow gross stuff is COOL for boys. I drew the line where gross stuff was discussed. The gun thing is another exposure thing to other little boys. Just coach it as you would any other issue. But at this age remember to pick your battles. Pants wetting...I know my son sometimes at night after a very busy day. He would sleep so deep that he dreamed he was getting up. During the day I don't know. IF it continues I would seek medical help. But for the most part...take a deep breathe and hold on tight.....he's a boy! Best of luck. C.

My first advice is "be the mom". Tell him NO, you can't say those words, you can't act that way, etc. If firm parenting doesn't work, I would suggest counseling. It seems as though he might be acting out. There may be something going on that you are unaware of.

Boys tend to imitate what they see and hear, especially if someone (like dad or an uncle) laughs when they do it. Most boys think gross things are funny. I really hate this kind of behavior and when my son was small and his friends would say things I didn't like, I'd point it out right there and then in front of everyone. I'd gently remind them that it was rude to say whatever they said in front of adults and girls, and that talk such as that belongs in the locker room or just among boys unless the other boys are offended by it, and then they shouldn't say it at all. When my son said things like that, I told him that I didn't appreciate that kind of talk. And my family mostly doesn't go in for physical humor, so he didn't get lots of laughs from dads, uncles, and cousins to encourage him. So he never talks like that, and to this day has never cussed in front of me (he's 18) though he almost slipped up a couple of weeks ago. He caught himself almost before I realized what he was going to say and he changed it. So I'm sure he cusses some with his friends, but not at home.

If Daddy laughed even once, you're in trouble. And if the friends at school all think this is a hoot, you have a real battle on your hands. Just be really firm about it. Also, check and see what cartoons or movies he sees at friends' houses or even at school (some teachers are dense, and Shrek was a testament to farting jokes.)

I don't know about the wetting part, but I'd go and talk to his teacher or bus driver.

I am going through the exact same thing. The only difference is that mine is not wetting his pants. He talks about blowing up the school etc. I dont really have any advice just because I dont know how to respond to it either, but I wanted to let you know that someone else is dealing with the same thing. Maybe it is just part of being a six year old boy. We talk about things a lot especially the burping and "fake burping". I try to tell him how rude it is, but he constantly does it anyway. I will being sending good thoughts your way and I will let you know if I come up with anything.

I can so relate! My 3 year old does that! I tell him that is unacceptable behavior and if it continues, straight to time out. Tell him Mommy does not like to hear those noises, words, etc. and everytime he uses one of those words or burps there will be no tolerance anymore and straight to time out. Works great with me. I only have to give my son the look and he stops!

I would try a Naturopathic Dr - to help with these issues -
you can find one in your area here: http://www.naturopathic.org/
sounds like my son - most of it sounds like he is trying to get your attention - if negative attention is what he can get by doing those things, that is what he will do for attention.
I just told my son that I would like to give you positive attention, but when you do ______ , it makes me give you negative attention - lets try to give each other positive attention - and it has worked some - with constant reminding of it - it can be tiresome having to repeat yourself all the time.
the pants wetting is a sign of inappropriate contact - sexually - but not always!!!!!!
I read the book Ritalin Free Kids - b/c my son does display ADD symptoms - which I pretty much ignored until I could not anymore - and he just turned 7 yo - so it may or may not be ADD / ADHD - you know him better than anyone else - so trust yourself -
it is a good read, and there is several mentions of kids talking / being violent as far as guns and hurting people, etc - as well as behavior you consider 'gross' and the pants wetting thing - take a look at it - and I bet you can get it from your library - or online - http://www.ritalinfreekids.com/
My son drives me crazy as well - but I love him all the a same.

Hi J.,
I don't know if this helps, but I have 2 sons(5 and 3 1/2) all they seem to talk about is gross stuff. Boogers, snot, farts,poop-whatever. I think they might do it because they get attention when they say those types of words. You know to kids, any attention is good attention. That's just my take on things though. The wetting the pants you might want to talk to your ped. But probably, boys will be yucky boys, and I think they'll grow out of it eventually. Good Luck-K.

Take away his guns tell him its not appropriate behavior in public the burping,farting.Is he mimicing his father,uncle,family friend by chance?
S. B

Have you talked to his teacher? Is he acting out at school? If he's not learning this stuff at home, he is obviously learning it somewhere. I would suggest you start exploring who his friends are and if they have older siblings and what their ages are. By confronting the parents you could cause more problems so I would just limit his exposure to those friends. Also question him about whether he has been touched in his private areas by someone. Be sure he understands that he can ALWAYS TRUST YOU AND YOU WOULD NEVER BE UPSET WITH HIM if this happened and it's important that he tell you immediately. Also, what kind of attention are you giving him at home? How much time is he spending with his Legos? Does Dad play ball with him outside? Do you spend one-on-one time with him? He could be trying to get attention. Even negative attention from mom and dad is better than constant self-entertainment. Try family bike rides or backyard races; go for a walk and ask him to ride his bike with you to keep you company. It will make him feel important and it will give you some valuable time alone with him when you can really talk. My husband and I would organize family races in which we usually allowed the children to win. After 5 or 6 or 10 of those, you will all be exhausted and the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE playing with mom and dad.
Keep us posted.