My Daughter Wants to Play an Instrument?

In my opinion the benefit of learning music at an early age is learning to read the notes and beginner music theory. My suggestion would be piano or guitar. They are great baseline instruments and she would be able to expand to other instruments later in life. I also suggest a private teacher who also does young children. She will benefit the most from this since they know what your child needs.

I am concerned by parents who are too stearn about sticking with it in music. If you are gruff about it she will completly lose interest and may never want to do music again.I value your desire to teach 'no quiting'. Be positive and help her to have fun when practicing gets hard. It gets hard for all of us and it is natural for a little one to want to give up.

I would suggest buying some cheap, used instruments-guitar, violin, keyboard,whatever. You can try Freecycle to get some for free and they're cheap used, especially since you wouldn't be buying anything nice to start with. Then let your daughter decide which she likes best. My husband who played trumpet and tuba in high school and college just bought a small trumpet for $60 to let our two year old daughter play with and for him to play when he and his friends get together. She loved it for about a week and hasn't thought about it since. Our plan is to provide her with a variety of cheap, but functional instruments. Hopefully, she'll end up playing something. If not, oh well.

It is great that you want to get your daughter an instrument but at that age it is going to be very rare that they pick something that they will stick with. I have four kids and they have all changed their minds about instruments and sports at least three times before settling on the right fit. At this age it is all about experimentation until you learn what it is you really like, and what you choose for her at this age may not be what she wants in three years. I don't like to encourage quitting either but at this age it is very unlikely that she will stick with it. Your best bet is to find a very inexpensive instrument (places like target or walmart sell quite a few) so that if she decides she doesn't want to play anymore then you are not out alot of money.

What about buying a musical set for at home? We have the Parents brand set that has a drum, tamborine, etc. and then we also have bells & whistles that my daughter likes to play with. We also have a keyboard that she's allowed to play when she wants. AND a recorder! I got that from scholastic- so look for it in your daughter's book order form. It has a book to teach you how to play & read the music! I don't want to push lessons on my daughter yet because like you I want it to be something she enjoys. Sorry if that's not much advice in regards to lessons, but get things that she has access to-that SHE chooses- and see if she keeps interest in it. Then go from there on the lessons- let her just play with it for now!

How fun that your daughter is showing an interest in music at this age, and how supportive for you to be looking at what to do!

I have been playing the trombone and ringing English handbells for more than 25 years each, have a B.A. in trombone, am self-taught on the piano, and worked for 8 years in a music retail store which rented primarily band and orchestra instruments. The question you ask is one I have had posed to me hundreds of times by parents, so I'd like to offer some feedback.

The most important thing for a child interested in music at this age is that it is FUN! Believe me, I know all about practicing and lessons...but SO many kids get turned off from music at an early age because of the pressure parents put on them.

I've seen it over and over, in teaching students of my own as well as watching those that used the services of the company's music studio. I understand that it's important to set boundaries and encourage children to finish whatever they start; however, at this age, if a child loses interest and is made to continue, the results are often disappointing.

At the very least, it is a waste of the teacher's time and the parents' money if a child doesn't want to play, has to be forced to practice and doesn't like/want lessons. Sometimes, it carries even further than that, and the child is completely turned off from music altogether.

True, there are benefits in terms of brain development, discipline and mastery that come with music...but the expectations should always be measured by the age of the child. And, statistically, at such a young age, I would expect a child to move around and explore different options. That's just in their nature at this point.

If you had come to me at the music store, I would most definitely have discouraged you from starting your daughter on a band instrument (flute, clarinet, trumpet, etc.) for a couple of reasons...

First of all, she would almost certainly be too small physically to be able to do what is required to play any of those instruments. They aren't sized the way stringed instruments are, and it's usually 5th or 6th grade before kids are big enough to play them (and my arm never felt like it was long enough for the trombone slide, even years later!).

The other reason is because band instruments are usually played in a group setting. Statistics we saw from different studies on this issue actually showed that students who started a band instrument a year or two (or more) ahead of the "norm" actually had a higher drop-out rate than those who started with the rest of the group.

The reasons considered had to do primarily with the fact that it's not very rewarding for most students to practice and practice and practice -- and then not have a concert to play in, etc. Also, they tended to get bored in band class b/c they had already learned how to play the instrument, so they weren't challenged enough to stick with it.

Piano and the smaller-sized stringed instruments are okay choices at this age, if that is what you're interested in. Maybe it sounds silly to find a teacher first, but I'd actually suggest you start shopping for either/both and ask them questions about how young they will teach and what they will expect.

I've known piano teachers who start children as young as 5; others require them to be a little older, or to attain a certain level of reading. Some are okay if you have a keyboard at home to practice (let's fact it -- they're not going to be playing the Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 2 on the first lesson!) while others will want you to have the full 88 keys available.

Many parents like the smaller-sized string instruments (once the children get past that "squeaky" phase) and a rental program is definitely the way to go for one of those because they usually offer exchanges to the next size with little or no cost to you. That certainly beats shelling out $500 or so for each instrument as you go up -- and the resale profit on most used instruments is minimal.

Some parents like the Suzuki method for strings b/c it gets the child playing right away. Some teachers I know offer criticism on the instant gratification...and also often find it challenging to help those students transition into reading music later. Pros and cons on both sides, obviously.

I don't know if you've checked out local music and movement classes through KinderMusic or Gymboree Play & Music -- or whatever others are out there. That might also be a way to whet her interest and give her some options before plunking down serious money.

There are also "kid friendly" instruments (read: cheap) in many toy catalogs. I've seen guitars, recorders, drum sets, hand-held percussion, harmonicas and the like. Personally, my son LOVES watching me play bells and always wants to get involved when I practice at home. So, for his birthday this fall, I shelled out a whole $30 and bought him the brightly-colored, metal, tuned set of 8 bells and he can play along, too! He loves them, and they are quite durable. They've already been dropped a number of times and are still going strong.

Best wishes as you pursue options that will work for your child, your budget and your family. I hope that you find a creative solution that is fun for her and affordable for you. Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to discuss this further.

You have many options,1- say no. 2- Buy an inexpensive instrument for the purpose of gaining basic music skills, or making noise (recorder, harmonica, tambourine) and see if she sticks to it first, then go for something to invest money in (Instrument and lessons)
If piano is your (or her ) choice, and you don't have space for one, a small keyboard will do as a start. (If you are taking lessons, all she really needs is a cardboard or plastic keyboard that folds up and can be put away. It doesn't make any noise, so she may not like it and quit.)

BUT before you start anything, keep in mind that she is only five years old, and most piano teachers will not even teach anyone younger than six (because they need to be able to have the concept of reading) and know the alphabet, and sit still for twenty minutes.
She is very young. If you wait, (like until fourth or fifth grade or middle school)some schools, or districts will let you rent instruments and switch them if she decides to switch at no extra cost. (check into marshall music...they might have a program like that.)

You sound very serious. Just let her have fun making noise with cheap stuff. She may be completely happy with that. Otherwise wait one year. There are a lot of instruments smaller than a piano.

We're running into the same situation. She want's to play the same instrument that I played in school - so, although they don't make one small enough for her (I played the Viola) there are ways to make it work. What I would recommend is two things.

1) Have her think about it for a while before making the final decision. We told our daughter that she has 3 months to think about it. If she still wants to do it, then we'll lease her one.

2) Go to a local music store that sells or leases instruments. Talk to them and determine what would work best for your daughter. I was amazed at their knowledge and advice. If they have a lease program, find out how it works. I know that the store we're looking at going through offers a lease program that rolls the money into the purchase of the full size instrument when the time comes.

I really don't have a specific instrument in mind, but what about an instrument that she would be able to use in junior high and high school bands. My son is in all kinds of school bands and his favorite is marching band.

I would also suggest piano. My daughter started in 1st grade, she is now in 6th and continues to take lessons. We do not have a piano but a keyboard which has been fine for the past 5 years. Now that she is getting into more songs with pedals, we may consider upgrading to a piano, but now that she is in middle school, I'm putting it off to make sure her interest doesn't wane. My older daughter tried violin for about 4 years. It is a difficult, but beautful, instrument to learn. Finding a teacher for violin is difficult too. Part of the reason my daughter dropped it was lack of contemporary music. At least with piano, you can find popular songs that might keep her interest (Disney songs for example). Good luck!

Let her choose, but go cheap. First Act makes a line of instruments sometimes found in the toy dept. They have guitars, drums etc and I bought my kids a keyboard for 20 bucks. Don't start her on lessons right away. I bought my son a guitar when he was 3 for 20 dollars. He played with it for awhile, but now, at age 6 he is way more into drums and we are planning on getting him a drum set for Christmas. On the other hand, my 4yr old daughter has started to play with his guitar and seems to be a total natural! Start with some cheap instruments and let her figure out what she likes for a year or two. Sometimes being "not into quitting" can prevent someone from starting. Don't expect her to choose her life long passion right off the bat at age 5.

At age five her hands are too small for many instruments: flute, guitar, etc.... but, recorders work well for kids that small. If piano interests her, there are wonderful electronic synthesizers or electric piano's not much bigger than a suitcase available for under $200 for a good quality one. Yamaha makes a bunch of nice ones, and Casio makes some affordable ones, too.
The "right" instrument for a child is the one she wants to play. Practice is important no matter which instrument is chosen, and practice is easier if the child loves the sound of the instrumen. Five isn't too young to start with a 3/4 size string instrument ( you can rent these) or for keyboards like piano. But five is pretty young for a committment to an instrument. You can go to a good music store( like, in Lansing, Marshall Music), and they will let your child try different instruments. If they take to one in particular, that is the right way to go. Some instruments work better with different shapes of mouths and lips, other work better with others. For example, If you have a short upper lip, flute is hard to play. If you have thin lips, trumpet is easier, but trombone is harder. The staff at the music store can help you pick the right one for your child. I play piano, guitar and bassoon ( I love baritone instruments), and have a drummer for a husband, a son who plays piano, a daughter who plays clarinet, and a youngest daughter learning flute and guitar. Music is a joy in all of our lives.
best of luck, L.

I would really recommend a music/movement class.. I teach piano lessons and have taught (and am teaching 3- 5 year olds now). It's too young to start an instrument like piano. It would be much better to start around age 6. You could even get a keyboard and take a couple lessons yourself to learn how to just have fun with him for this year and give her a great start when she's 6 or older.

A music/movement class though would give her a great start. Kindermusik teaches the children recorder and dulcimer. I don't teach older children the Young Child curriculm, but there are several in the area that do.

Music should always be encouraged. If she wants a piano, maybe an electronic keyboard with all sorts of musical voices would be a suggestion.
When she gets to a certain school level they'll be gearing them up for band instruments. I encouraged my oldest to go with something that not everyone does, and he chose oboe. Not too many oboe players. It's less guessing than brass, not noisy like percussion, and not the normal popular choices.
If your district has strings, maybe she's interested in that. Follow her lead and see where her strong musical points are.

Actually, that is a good age to start the violin. Many studies show that playing the violin helps brain development. That is why they are making it mandatory in inner schools in NYC. If you want to just try it out, call Flint institute of Music for an introductory class. Best Wishes.

Hi A.,

I don't have a lot to offer on which instrument to pick, although quite honestly, I would suggest either the piano or violin. As far as the piano you can get a keyboard and it will work just fine.

That being said, I want to address your attitude about the whole thing.

Kids go through different stages. Sometimes they are really interested in something and sometimes they are not. If you force the issue then you will make it 'work' and at a young it will not be fun. It isn't until they are significantly older they can get the concept that you have to work hard at something like music to be really good. When they are young, it is just about the fun. If you want her to be interested in music for life, then you have to make music fun at this point and not worry whether or not this is something she is going to pursue long term.

No, I am not an advocate of kids trying absolutely everything for a week and then quitting. Don't get me wrong. But, you also can not expect that a five year old is going to choose something tha she will enjoy for the rest of her life, or even the next 10 years!

So, first I would be sure this is something she has wanted to do for a long time. If I remember right I was around 5 or 6 when I started pestering my mom about piano lessons. She waited about a year until she started me in them, making sure the interest wasn't fleeting. I took the lessons for several years. At one point other things became much more interesting to me and I dropped piano. However, I did pick up another band instrument that I played from 6th-12 grade.

I still like to go back to the piano now and then as I do enjoy it. I don't own a piano right now, but will eventually, at which point I have even thought about taking lessons again because it has been so long since I was serious about it.

The point is, I have an appreciation for music. I was never talented enough or driven enough to pursue it in college or anything like that but I have a deep appreciation for music. Music was part of my daily life growing up as my mother is very musical as well. I do some of the same things with my daughter. We encorporate music into our every day life. We also take a kindermusic class, which I HIGHLY recommend.

Foster a love and appreciation of music. Don't make it something that is work and do not put huge expectations on your 5 year old. When she is older, say 10 or something ... then you can start teaching her about sticking to something. Before that, the attention span is way too short to really grasp that concept.

However, if you foster an appreciation of music and introduce it into her every day life she will carry that with her for a lifetime. I promise. I wouldn't be super quick to get her into formal lessons. I would wait a little longer. However, you can get some kids music CD's and little child bells or a little drum or something and she can play along.

www.kindermusic.com has a great selection of items. The idea is to introduce music, it's concepts, get them listening for changes etc...

6 or 7 is a great age to start formal lessons.

Music can enrich your life and be a wonderful wonderful thing. Formal lessons of any kind will help your child in many ways. Most kids who can read music do better in math, have better attention spans, and concentrate better in school. My father is a highschool counselor and has seen this correlation through his entire 35 year career.

Have fun with music!

Piano would be the most versitile. Once you know how to read piano music you can transfer that to just about any instrument. You do have options with keyboards and upright pianos for less space...

Maybe find out if you can get her into some type of general music readiness class. Something similar to music and movement. They focus on the "ear". Listening for and recognizing beats, higher/ lower notes and chord groups. It transfers to all musical instruments she may decide she JUST HAS TO PLAY in the future and wouldn't be a waste of your $$$...

I would suggest piano. There are several options for keyboards, which don't take up too much space (and you can turn the volume down :). The skills she learns from piano are transferable to any other instrument she may want to play in the future, and it is a good life long instrument.

Violin is also a very good option and many kids start playing string instruments around her age. She could continue to play through high school and college as long as there is a string program.

Good luck!

Hi A.-
I would ONLY recommend piano at such a young age. And don't worry if you don't have one or have room/finances for one. You can invest a small amount into a portable digital keyboard--will be just fine for her. Kids at that young age have a very short window of patience when it comes to something tough like music & musical instruments--I know because I teach beginning piano lessons and I don't usually start kids until 5 or 6. Also, since she'll be learning music 'basics' and how to read music, she can pick out a different instrument as she grows older--and she'll be WAY ahead of the game!!! Good luck to you & have fun with it.
K.

I don't think there is anything wrong with her taking piano lessons, and she can practice on a nice keyboard since you said you don't have room for a piano, plus they are expensive. However I wouldn't go out and buy an instrument (like a trumpet) as they are expensive and she is only in kindergarden and you don't want to battle her for the rest of her years at home to practice and get good at something she doesn't enjoy anymore. She is probably in a phase, but may very well want to play an instrument a couple years from now as well, but at least then you know. Plus if you have her take piano lessons she will learn notes, rhythm, all that good stuff that she'll need for any instrument.

I would just be wary of paying for an instrument, lessons etc... just to have to make her finish what she started when she was 5 and thought it just looked like fun to play the trombone :-)

Hope that helps

My son is 3 1/2 and has been in music since 18 months. We actually have a childrens music school near by and he has taken an iterest in guitar, piano and drums. Throuh the classes he is now learning more specificly pioan. You may want to check in your community to see if there is something like this around so she could get a taste of different instruments to see what she likes.

Violin's come in small enough sizes to accommodate your childs young age (1/4 and 1/2 size of a "normal" size violin) and The Suzuki method of instruction has been taught to children as young as 2 for many years (here as well as in China). Best place to start getting information about purchasing one and finding an instructor would be your local music store. Good Luck.

Our kids all started piano at age 4, but we didn't have a real piano the first few years - we had a keyboard with piano sized keys. We got it at Marshall Music and I think we paid about $200.00 for it.

I love that she wants to play an instrument so I hope you find something she will enjoy. Good luck!

Well all I can suggest is ask her what she wants to play or maybe take her to a music store and let her choose (within reason of course).