Infant My Baby Won't Sleep!

This sounds very familiar. I have an 11 mo. old boy and he did the same thing at 9mo. I also read that book. He is doing better now, but still fights naps at times and usually only gets one nap (usually 45 min-2 hrs.) in in a day instaed of two naps. I think it is a stage that they go through when they start to want to walk. They want to be up more. My son had some night waking too, but it passed after a couple of weeks. I don't have any great answer for you, but a warm bottle of breast milk or formula helped calm him and also reading to him at the same time helped calm him down enough to go to sleep (with me right by him). I wouldn't even try and put him to sleep if he didn't seem tired, but sometimes he was over tired and then we went through the same thing.

I have no real advice other then hang in there. I just wrote the same question out last week because all of a sudden my 9 month old, who was also a good sleeper, was having problems napping. We tried keeping him up late, putting him to bed early, only one nap a day. Nothing seemed to work. I also bought the "Healthy sleep habits, Happy child" book. Then the next day after writing my request, he took a 2 1/2 hour morning nap and a 1 hour afternoon nap and that has been the pattern since(really it was the next day). So as I said before hang in there it must have something to do with the age, wanting to be more active, etc.... Things will get better

Around that time my DD started frequent night wakings (like every 1.5 hours) and she would not stay asleep for naps. There was just a lot going on for her developmentally I think. As we cosleep and breastfeed, the night wakings were not horrible as I could get her back down usually (though I was tired!) but naps were so annoying as I had to be right there to try to get her back down right away or else she'd be up in 20 minutes. Easiest for me was not to fight it. She took a lot of naps on my lap and I watched tv, read books and was online. Other times I put her in the sling and did my thing. She actually fell asleep when I was raking once. She got over it eventually.

I personally wouldn't be concerned about her sleeping in the car and forming a habit. Well, if you do a nap this way every day at the same time you may be cuing her that way. But if it happens at different times, I wouldn't worry about it. My DD would sleep in the car very easily at that age every time we went out it seemed. It never became a habit.

One book I read which was helpful about this was Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution." There is a lot about routines and she has some good strategies for getting them down.

What helped me most with the sleep stuff is not stressing about it. I know everyone makes you crazy with how she will always do it that way if you do it that way now, bla bla bla. But I have NOT found that to be the case at all. My DD has done things when she was ready regardless of what I was trying to get her to do. One day she just started going down fine and that was that. Well at least until the next thing messes it up, that is. :) Good luck!

We've been going through this with my almost 10 m/o for nearly a month and indeed, it's not "cool".
I borrowed the book from the library, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. She says she doesn't believe in completely rigid schedules but does say young children need consistency and predictablilty. She gives a sample sleep schedule.

Ho-hum. Just more things to make you paranoid that baby isn't getting enough sleep. Like we didn't know that already.
My advice is trying to figure out what in your schedule isn't working.

My prob is baby wakes too early, 5:30 lately, and though I take him into bed to encourage more, it doesn't work. We then stay up until 8:30 or so. Used to be 9.
I try to keep his eating times consistent (breakfast, lunch & dinner). Eating habits definitely influence sleep.

Bed time is always at 7, with bath and books beforehand. One thing that I've tried which helps transition to nap is reading the bedtime books, which give that "time to sleep" signal.

You're lucky to be at home so you can nap with baby b/c I'd say, that's my best advice- or, at least, get some sleep when you can! Take care of yourself and baby will eventually get through this torturous time.

Two thoughts I have about his lack of sleep lately are that:
We take too many stroller walks, now that the weather is nice. Baby needs more play time to tire himself out.
And: though convenient, naps in the stroller (or car) aren't always the most "quality" sleep....

Just wanted to say that not all babies sleep as much as they say they should in the books. Actually most babies I know don't sleep that much at all. I have a 5 yo who sleeps 9 hours a night & a 2yo that sleeps about 10 hours a night (usually waking once). And neither naps whatsoever. My oldest stopped napping at 2 1/2 & my youngest used to take random cat naps (never would nap on a schedule)& stopped that around 2 1/2. My only suggestion would be to have your daughter go in her room at nap time to quietly play (or watch TV if you allow that). Give her quiet time instead of trying to force a nap. That way you'll get the break you need. Good luck!

Hi J.,

First, it couldn't hurt to check with your pedi (does she have a 9-month check up?) and see if there are any signs of ear infections. Laying down can really hurt those tender ears if they are infected. Or, you could just try contacting the pedi for any advice on the situation.

Otherwise, she could be in the process of changing her nap schedule. Try to keep some type of schedule--if you know that she is tired, let her cry it out. My kids sometimes needed an hour alone. Obviously, she is getting over stimulated. Try putting her down shortly before you think she might start yawning and rubbing her eyes.

She may be testing you because she knows that you'll come to her if she continues.

If all else fails..... if you know that she will fall asleep when you drive her, go for it. You may be in a cycle where no sleep begets no sleep; similarly, sleep begets sleep. At this point, give her the sleep any way you can to get her back to sleeping.

Night awakenings--sounds like a continuation of not napping (the whole sleep begets sleep thing). Have you tried putting a few quiet toys/stuffed animals or the like in her crib to entertain her if she wakes? It's worth the try.

Since you are home with her, now that we are getting some nicer weather, take her for walks in the stroller--maybe that will get her to sleep.

These are my best guesses. Hope they help to some degree.

Hi J.,

This not easy, but in order for it to work, you have to be consistent:

Put your child in the crib at the same time each day for naps.

As much as it hurts, if she fed, and her diaper is dry, let her cry it out.

Every 10 min or so, if she is crying, calmly walk in (be matter of fact), don't talk to her, nothing to rouse her attention, just gently lay her back down, give her her pacifier (if she has one) or snuggly blankie, and quietly walk back out.

It might take you weeks, but if you are consistent she will get the message. You need your breaks. Even if she doesn't sleep, that is still "alone" time for both of you.

Good luck to you!!

She will stop when you walk in, and I guarantee she will cry again the second you walk out, but eventually she will get the message.

Hi J.,

It is probably just a normal sleep strike! Just in case, though, I thought I'd write. Does your daughter have any eczema or constipation (or other poop troubles?) If so, the frequent waking could be due to food allergies, even if she seems completely happy when she wakes up. If she doesn't have a rash or poopy problems, I wouldn't worry about it. When she wakes up, just keep it dark, try not to engage in play and be patient. I know it's tough to be up several times a night and not get that nap the next day!! Best of luck!

Try giving her a bath with lavendar wash or use a lavendar scented baby lotion on her before nap time. Good Luck

Some great advice! I too recommend the No Cry book. My 9-month-old is doing the same thing.

I had a similar issue when my lil girl was 9 months... her napping with me wasnt so much the problem but napping at daycare.... actually same thing just happened yesterday and she is 15 mos.... She would rather play than sleep.. makes ya crazy!

I know you dont want to start the bad habit of taking her for car rides - but if she is anything like my dd - get her in the car - let her fall asleep then after 15 mins or so... go back home and carry her inside. Lay her down with you. its not a bad habit if it works and you keep it as a temporary situation. I'm not saying to do it forever, but as a parent it is nice to have a moment of piece and quiet - you worry less when your baby sleeps well.

At nine mos she should be going through a growth spurt and teething - which can take forever, whether there are signs of it or not. The night time/ play time - I went throught it but only briefly.... so no real advice on that. I just kept it dark, no tv, no nothing. I let her play but ensured that it was night time and night time was for sleep and eventually she got it (although still wakes once a night to nurse).

Rememeber - every kid is different and they dont all need to take a nap at 10 and 2 (although ideal)... let her have her way - give her one nap... middle of the day (its what I have had to do with my daughter since 9 mos), she will sleep for a few hrs. My daughter would refuse a nap and then I started letting her have 1 nap a day and it seemed to work for her - she eventually went back to TWO NAPS A DAY and now at 15 mos is back to one nap from 11:30 - 2 pm! She gets up at 6 am and goes to bed at 8 pm. Occasionally I give her a car ride nap if she refuses to go downa nd I know she is exhausted but like I said - I return home shortly afterwards and put her down for a real nap in her bed.

Good luck, I hope this is a short experience and someone can give you better advice than my "I can relate speech" :)

Hi,
My girl s 14 mo.old and I remember when she was about 9 or 10 mo. she was doing similar things. Looking back, I think she was so excited about her milestones in general that she never wanted to sleep! I changed her over to one nap too and that really made all the difference in her going down for naps and sleeping through the night. she is tired!! So, she would take an hour or 1.5 nap around 10:30 and that's it! It kinda stinks because I don't have time do do things, but it was the right thing to do I think. For awhile she was tired all the time, but eventually got used to her new schedule.