5 Month Old Daughter Still Isn't Sleeping Through the Night.

E.,

My husband and I went through the same thing with our only child, our son, who is now 2 1/2 years old. It seemed to us that he never slept well unless being held. And what I mean by slept well, was a good 2-4 hour stretch. So, we spent many nights beginning around 8pm, taking turns sitting in the recliner, holding him for hours while he slept, woke up, slept, woke up... and we went day after day absolutely exhausted. Although, there was the perk of watching great movies on TV at 3am! We tried everything...keeping him up during the day, letting him cry it out, making sure he had a full tummy before his usual sleep time, you name it, we tried it. As soon as we would place him in the crib, he would wake up and cry. Co-sleeping was even worse for me as I would not sleep. I was too worried one of us would roll on him and between he and my husband in bed with me, I usually was pushed to the very edge of the bed, very uncomfortable! He did not sleep excessively during the day. He had two short naps around the 5 month age, one around 9am for maybe an hour and another around 3pm for a couple of hours, being held of course. To add to the difficulty, at the time, we lived in a very small home and any little noise could be heard throughout the home, which of course, would wake him as well. I remember not being able to open chip packages in the kitchen or blow dry my hair. I used to get so annoyed at others if he were sleeping and the phone rang or someone knocked at our front door because it would immediately make him wake up and he would begin crying (because he was so tired). Anyhow, the results were that we were all constantly tired, irritable, and seemed more prone to sickness as we were run down. This went on for 18 months!!!!! At 18 months, he finally began sleeping through the night, not consistently, but his awakenings were much less frequent. We were greatful to only have to get up one or two times during the night versus five or six times! Around 20 months, he began sleeping through the night (9pm-7am) and was taking one-two hour nap during the day. He was not sick as frequently and happier when he was awake. What we learned from this experience is that we were not doing any of us good by constantly holding him to sleep. He was not leaning how to sleep on his own, he was tired, was sick frequently (bronchitis..twice, hand-foot-mouth disease, ear infection, colds, flu, etc.) and was not getting the rest he truly needed. We were experiencing the same issues and were also missing a LOT of work to stay home with him when he was sick. As mentioned, it all fell into place around 18 months, but I don't believe that is a reasonable amount of time to go through what you are experiencing, or what we experienced. We hope to have more children and have agreed that crying it out (both baby and us!) is definitely going be an option we'll stick by for as long as it may take to work. My suggestion would be to go back to one of the options you have already tried and try it for a longer period of time to see if it will work. I have read that working your way gradually (over 1-2 week period) closer to the door and then out of the room may also work. I know it is very difficult, especially when you are already very exhausted, but as we learned the hard way, our son's health was affected by his lack of sleep. Maybe a family member or friend could stay the weekend at your home with your daughter and be the one to go through the crying it out stage while you and your husband and other children get rest elsewhere...maybe a mini-vacation/weekend get-away. If the methods you have already tried are not working, perhaps your pediatrician may have alternative methods to try.

Best regards and hope you are all sleeping well soon :)

L

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Hi E.,

Today we are faced with so many environmental issues that are causing our children to suffer from them. They say we are not getting enough nutrients, good water and air to help keep us balanced from the toxins we are exposed to everyday.

I put my granddaughter in a healthier environment when she was 2 weeks old and she is not growning up with the challenges she was born with. There is a company called Nikken that has put together a package to have a wellness home for our children and families to protect us from harmful elements we are exposed to every day
My granddaughter sleeps on a magnetic pad, has an airsystem by her bed to help her breathe good she takes whole food nutrients to give her what she will not get from our foods today and she drinks clean water without the chemicals from the bottled water and tap water.
Ariana had sleep challenges, colic, breathing problems and a cough before I changed her environment. She is fine 6 years later and very seldom is sick.
To check out more info on how to make your home into a better environment for your family go to www.nikken.com/ninamarie

1 mom found this helpful

I recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Everyone I know swears by it and it has helped me with all of the sleep problems we have had.
Check it out and good luck!

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E.,

so sorry you are having sleeping problems with your daughter. Try reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. The book breaks down sleep habits and patterns by age and temperment of your child. It is a fantastic book and can really help everyone in your house get the rest they need! You don't need to read it cover to cover; you could just read the chapters that apply to you and the age of your baby! I used it with my daughter (3.5 years old) and now with my son (5 months old) and they are both great sleepers and nappers because of it!

Good luck!
J.

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Hi E.,

The one thing I would say is that if the baby gets sleep during the day, they typically will sleep better at night. If my son doesn't get enough sleep during the day, he has a harder time at night...he is over tired.

As for the cry it out method, for some babies it works and some it doesn't. For us, it didn't work. I think you have to figure out what you are willing to do at night and then do it. That could mean cry it out, sleeping with the baby, picking up and comforting the baby when she cries, whatever. It is just a decision that you have to make...you know what is best for your baby!

Good luck:)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi E.,
You must be going nuts!!! I feel for you! I strongly second the recommendation for "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Marc Weissbluth, a doctor who ran the sleep center at the University of Chicago. I ignored only one piece of his advice that I thought went too far (that it's okay to let your child sleep in a pukey bed she cries so hard that she pukes -- just not okay with me). With this one exception, though, his advice and information were incredibly helpful. Did your ped tell you that babies are born nocturnal? Do you remember how your baby would kick you and move the most when you were lying down to rest? When we walk while pregnant, we lull the baby to sleep. When we eat a nice dinner (thereby sending a shot of energy to the baby) and then lie down, the baby has a little party inside of us. Our ped warned us that we needed to train our son from the beginning to reverse this cycle. At night, if we needed to go into his room (for example, before he was big enough to sleep through the night [usually 13 lbs] without a feeding), we kept the light off, did not speak to him or coo at him, etc. We did nothing to indicate that it was fun time or play time. Eventually our son learned. Also, it's very important to understand that sleep begets sleep. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but a child who is overtired is wired. They get an adrenalin rush and then you're doomed. Babies at five months should have two naps a day and an early bedtime (can read about this in the book). It is also important to recognize the very first signs that your child is tired and get her to bed asap. I remember missing those first signs now and again, and we always had a harder time on those days/nights -- again, all in the book. Finally, if the book doesn't help, there are pediatric sleep experts your pediatrician's office should be able to recommend. Our son stopped napping at 11 months (as I had as a child). A sleep expert recognized so easily what we were doing wrong (oversoothing him before his naps with rocking and signing -- she said to close the blinds, dim the lights, read him and his favorite stuffy one book, tell him we love him and would be in the house the whole time, and never, ever say that he needed to sleep -- saying it was time to rest was ok, though -- we often told him that monkey, his favorite stuffy needed to rest so he needed to stay quiet!) that she never even needed to meet us in person and didn't charge us for her advice! He napped the first time we used her advice, literally the first time! Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep!!!
K.

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Hi E.,

I am a mother of 3 year old twin girls. When I was trying to get them to bed in there separate cribs, I read a book that really helped me called BabyWise. The Babywise book, written by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam provides a management plan to help babies synchronize feeding, playtime and night sleep cycles, thus giving your baby the best possible chance to distinguish night from day, and be able to sleep continually through the night moving from one sleep cycle to the next without fully waking.

It really worked great for the girls, and the key was to go to them when they cry, put a hand on her, but don't pick her up.Say "shhhhh it's ok", and maybe sing a song or two. Each time you go back shorten the stay.

I hope this helps :)

J.

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Hi, I hear your frustration. I highly suggest reading Dr. Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby" something like that. It completely changed the way I viewed my baby's sleep. The one thing the doc emphasized is not to go to your baby when they wake up in the middle of the night unless the baby is hungry. Otherwise, the baby will not learn that night time is for sleep. My baby (almost 1 yrs old) sometimes gets up in the middle of the night and I leave her alone. She oesn't cry, just babbles. Eventually goes back to sleep on her own.

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What worked for me was a book called Baby Wise. It talks about putting children on schedules with eating, playing and sleeping. I was given this with my first child and was so thankful. My son was sleeping through the night after a week with this schedule. It talks about how much sleep a child should be getting and how many naps. The biggest thing is you as the parent have to be consistent. Naps and bedtime have to be at the same time everyday.

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Hi E.,

I completely sympathize with you - we were sleep-challenged until my son was 15 mths old. Every baby IS different, but there are some proven things that can & will help - the biggest key to getting them to work, whatever you're trying, is to BE CONSISTENT every single day & every single night. It's tough - trust me. But it sounds like you have a child who has her days & nights mixed up - which she will eventually figure it out, but it won't be a quick process - most likely.

Naps are definitely crucial to start implementing now. I'm sure since this is your 3rd child you know the signs of tiredness & when she SHOULD be napping. Write those times down & start a schedule, even if she bucks it. When the signs of tiredness come on, tell her it's naptime & put her down where you want her to sleep (her crib, your bed, etc.). Even if she cries for a bit, it's alright. I agree - CIO is a little too young at this age. But crying for 5 minutes ISN'T CIO. After 5 minutes, place your hand on her, tell her it's naptime & walk out. Again, only for 3 to 5 minutes. After 10 minutes, pick her up & deal with the day until the NEXT SCHEDULED NAPTIME. Do the SAME thing. AT this age naptimes are pretty frequent (From what I can recall). Trust me, she'll be tired enough to fall asleep during one of those times.

My son only took 15-20 minute naps for a LONG time. But regardless, it did help me set a schedule.

I also recommend the "Healthy Sleep Habits" book that others have recommended. As for the night sleeping, continue to bring her to bed or whatever helps YOU get sleep - yes, it's creating a habit of sorts, but as you know, habits can be broken in children when the time is necessary. Get the daytime naps on a schedule, let her develop some daytime sleep - THEN start working on the nighttime sleep. An early bedtime is crucial - no later than 8PM. We started CIO with my son at 7 mths when he wouldn't fall asleep before 11PM. Took about a week - he never cried for longer than an hour. I would go in every 5 minutes, every 10, every 15, etc. - no picking up, just soothing, then walk out. After about a week - he was falling asleep ON HIS OWN by 7:00 each night. YES he would continue to wake throughout the night, but again - it was a very slow, progressive process.

Maybe she'll sleep better instantly when the daytime naps get under way. Who knows. Just do what you have to do in the meantime so you are rested as much as possible & try not to compare & insist that she be "sleeping through the night" when YOU want her to - it's tough, but once I resigned myself to the process, it actually wasn't as big of a deal as I used to make it.

Good luck!!

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Don't skip the naps. MIssing naps and not getting enough sleep during the day can backfire, they get over exhausted which does not help them sleep easier. In fact over exhaustion can make someone hyper, grumpy and less likely to fall asleep. My kid has never been a good sleeper but naps seem key. Try not to play with her or talk with her when you want it to be sleep time. We co-slept until my daughter was 6 mths also. Don't let people give you a hrad time about that. Our country can be a litle judgemental about co-sleeping. I really like a book by Elizabeth Pantley, "The no-cry sleep solution." She is accepting of a number of different sleeping situations and practiced sometime similar to yours with the kids sleeping on another bed. Just make sure with the futon your child will be safe. They start to roll at anytime and need a firm safe area to sleep. "Healthy sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth is a good book for understanding the average child's sleep pattenerns and needs by age. It's not a great book for specific advice or plans for a paticular child. For some moms crying it out works. For my kid, we wnet thru a week of agony, 2 better weeks of sleep and then it all went out the window when she caught a cold/teething. She was not her happy self in the morning those 3 weeks and she would cry any other time we put her in the crib. So crying it out wasn't an option for my kid. Everyone will tell you what WILL work because it did for their kid...every kid is different. And the majority of us have sleep issues. I like Pantley's book and you will need to figure out what works for this kid and what is SAFE.

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E.,

My pediatrician recommended a book by Kim West called "Good Night Sleep Tight." It turns out Ms. West is an expert in infant and child sleep. We have used her techniques, schedules, & general advice for both our kids with fantastic results for our daughter and decent results for our son. I got the book on Amazon.com.

Best of luck,

K.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi, E.,
It seems you have gotten a lot of good advice already, so I hope you are on your way to having a baby that sleeps more! I just wanted to share that I sleep with my 3 year old (and have since he turned 2), because he falls asleep much sooner that way. I also have a newborn who has a hard time falling asleep sometimes and sometimes staying asleep. He is one month old. So if I have to put both boys to sleep at the same time, I nurse the infant in my bed until he falls asleep and he WILL sleep for a long time if he falls asleep next to me. If I put him in his own bed, he may or may not sleep well. I would not fret it and let your daughter sleep peacefully next to you. That way you all get good sleep and you can worry about transitioning her when she is older and doesn't need the comfort of you as much. I don't think there is anything wrong with choosing the solution that allows you the most sleep, so that all of you are refreshed and energetic during the day. I also would definitely NOT skip naps for her. Kids need naps during the day until they decide to give them up sometime between the ages of 2 and 4. my three year old still needs 2-3 hour naps each day and he is almost three and a half. I also have to lay down with him at nap time. I realize I will have to retrain him to sleep on his own later, but I am willing to do that. I love cuddling next to each other and going to sleep. it is so lovely and relaxing. I know this time will be over before i know it, so I am enjoying my little ones while I still can. best of luck to you!

A.

I don't think you should expect a 5-month old to establish a routine! I also don't see anything wrong with snuggling up with your baby when she can't sleep.

Cut yourself some slack, I think you're doing just fine! Some babies need the security of closeness more than others, be there for her. Some require less sleep, you'll find ways to fit that into your routine. You are seeing her personality forming....perhaps a little love-bunny, perhaps a real go-getter or a very social person. She may be a bit hyperactive. But don't fret! Give her time and make your time with her as enjoyable as possible.

How many times did you let her "cry it out"? It takes a while but it does eventually work. Let her cry for 10 minutes then go in, (no talking and no caudeling or rocking) lay her down and walk out. Then wait 15 minutes and do it again. etc.

My son did not sleep through the night until he was 18 months old.

I feel your pain. Sorry. Just try to be consistant. It is HARD!!! Good luck

Hi E.,
As you know from having older daughters Jazlene will leave behind this stage along with some sweeter things that you'll miss. I recommend reading "The Baby Sleep Book" by Dr. Sears, he gives explanations for why babies have different sleep needs than adults and solutions for different families needs that can be implemented right away making an immediate difference. Check out his excellent website for info on this and all parenting issues, www.AskDrSears.com Good luck, K.

My daughter is also five months old. She was sleeping through the night back in Jan before I went back to work. Now she wakes at least twice at night. And I was told to teach her to put herself to sleep, and I did let her cry and she eventually did fall asleep. With my daughter there is a difference between crying and screaming. I never let her just scream. But if she is crying a little, whimpering, I just let her be and she will fall asleep. It took about a week for her to really learn and even still she will cry for a few minutes before going to sleep. And the other night she cried for 20 minutes. And I occasionally still bring her in the bed with us because both my husband and I work and we need our sleep. Besides, it makes me feel close to her when I have to be away from her all day. It is natural to sleep with your child. It is only recently that society has made that taboo. Women were doing it for thousands of years prior. I just do what feels right. We all have natural instincts that guide us, and we need to learn to trust that. Also, sleep begets sleep. The more she sleeps during the day, the better she may sleep at night and vice versa. That has been my experience. I hope it helps you.

My experience has been that the more regular and good naps they have during the day the better they sleep at night. I don't think you should keep her up during the day but try to schedule regular nap times and put her down every time you can see she is tired. Personally I don't think it's wrong to let babies sleep with their parents but it's a very personal choice. Our kids also were hard to get to sleep but when we had more regular nap schedules it seemed to get a lot better. Our son still wakes up at night at 15 months though so we still need some help as well...

Best of luck,
A.
mom of 15 month old twins

Hi E.,

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It sucks. I went through the same thing. We got a little break though in the beginning because we used the papason swing which worked wonders. Once she outgrew it though it got rough again. Now she is used to the crib after almost a year of other methods. She also slept in her car seat for a while. She still isn't a great sleeper though. Especially when she is sick or teething.

I'm not sure if your baby is too big for the swing or not, but it's worth a try. We didn't even have it on most of the time, but we would turn it on to rock her back to sleep. I would also tuck a swaddling blanket underneath to slow down the swing a little and I put a cushy blanket underneath her too. It's just a snuggly position for them and I think that helps a lot.

I tried to get her used to the crib by mimicking the same shape of the papason with blankets, which also helped for a while. As she got bigger though, she started to prefer her car seat. Then we put two pillows in her crib at around one year because she liked to crawl on top of them and sleep on her belly when she was in our bed. One was to the side of her and the other above her when we laid her down. Then when she woke up she would crawl on to her belly. Now she just has one pillow above her, but doesn't really use it. She is 14 months now. Oh, we also went through a phase where we had to drive her to sleep every night, now my husband rocks her in our Becco baby carrier.

Oh, I just remembered that there is also a product called the Amby motion bed. You can google Amby to find it. I was reminded of it when I saw it posted on craigs list. I will probably buy this for my next baby since they can stay in it longer.

I hope some of this has helped. - A.

hi-
My baby girl is 8 months and she sleeps with me. She has never slept through the night and she would cry in her bed until she made herself sick. I finaly gave in and let her in be with my husband and I. It is not ideal but for now it is what works. You have to do what works for you. The bottom line is you and your husband need sleep. If that means the baby sleeps with you then so be it!

My daughter is the same age and the way I get her to sleep mostly through the night is I always start with a warm bath around the same time everynight. Then get her bottle ready and bring her into our room (she still has a cradle in there), I prop myself up on the bed and feed her. I also have a small pillow propping up my arm while I feed her. I turn on the Tv to a station called the baby channel, it has all the nighttime music on it.I keep all the lights off and the tv low. Then after she's done and burped I wrap her in a soft blanket (almost like a swaddle but she's able to get her arms out) and prop her in my arms again and give her a pacifier. She's out within 10 mins. Sometimes I take the pacifier out of her mouth before I transfer her and I can get anywhere from 6-8hrs straight until she wakes up for me to nurse her..naptime we are still working on . she stays down for 30mins and then wakes up. I wrap her again and rock her back to sleep . I can get another 30mins that way..

I had a very similar situation with my daughter. she wouldn't sleep at night and screamed about it. I saw a lavender scented doll in a store and decided to try it since lavender is known to calm babies. I actually made her a doll and put lavender in a pouch, and put the pouch in side the doll. that way I could remove the lavender to wash the doll. the difference was amazing. for the first time ever she slept through the night. she liked the smell and she liked to have the doll to play with. you would not want to give her lavender if she is sensitive to flowers or strong scents. you can buy lavender plants at any nursery, and alway have your own.

if she sleeps better in your bed, and it makes things easier for both of you, i don't see how that can be a bad thing. so many other parents including myself have slept with their babies with no problems. there comes a time when they want their own space and will move out, especially in your case, she will want to be like her big sisters.

good luck.

I had the same problem and was at my wits end! My daughter is 4 months old and had to be held to go to sleep, would not sleep more than 30 minutes at a time, was cranky, fussy, my back was killing me from holding her or having her in a sling all the time (and I mean literally ALL the time!) I was stuck and didn't know what to do. I wrote to MamaSource myself on March 10 regarding this problem, (you can read my post) but since then things have gotten so much better! Frankly, I didn't have the time (or the inclination) to read a bunch of books and all that, I needed a solution FAST -and just so you know, I am 100% against "crying it out" so if you don't want to go that method, here's what I did.

1. We reintroduced the swaddle. We stopped swaddling her because we thought she was too old, but I noticed that often she would startle herself back awake. So we started doing that again and it was a big help.

2. Then we got a white noise machine online:
http://www.sleepwellbaby.com/Sound-Oasis-Sleep-Bear-p/sb-...
It is a cute teddy bear and it works like a charm. We take it to Grandma's house and she sleeps there too! Beware though - many times I have put her down with the intent of "getting things done" while she is napping, but with that white noise machine I often conk out too!

3. For naps I usually lay her down on our bed with the white noise bear and nurse her and she usually drops off in between 5 - 15 minutes. Sometimes we nurse in the rocking chair and then I put her in her crib. She takes 3-4 naps a day for between 45 minutes and 2 1/2 hours. I let her determine how long she needs to nap for. She doesn't stay awake for more than 2 1/2 hours between naps though - as soon as she is yawning and rubbing her eyes, she needs to go down for a nap. Darken the room for naps, when she wakes up from a nap, open the blinds and let the light in so she figures out day and night. Close the blinds before the next nap to make the room dark(er).

4. At night we co-sleep. I nurse her down in our bed around 7 pm, swaddled and with the bear, (then it is our time - my husband and I have dinner, watch a movie, etc.) and we keep an eye on her with a video monitor just in case she wakes up, but she usually doesn't. If she does have a hard time getting to sleep I will go back upstairs and nurse her and comfort her (hold her, sing, hum, rock, whatever it takes) until she drops off and then lay her back down. When we decide we want to go to bed, we turn off the bear and crawl in with her and I usually nurse her again and we all fall asleep. : )

5. Routine routine routine! When you put her down, go through the same steps each time. When she starts showing signs of tiredness, our routine is: Change the diaper, darken the room, turn on the bear, swaddle, lay her down, nurse. This always stays the same. At night we add a story (read to her by Daddy) and a little infant massage on the legs. (We took a class and she really liked it.) When she sees all this happening, she knows it's time to sleep. We are giving her cues and she recognizes them.

So what did we get with all this? We now have a baby that takes 3-4 naps a day and sleeps between 10 and 12 hours a night. It is a miracle! When she is awake she is bright and interested.

And just know this... If you don't want to let your child "cry it out" - You don't have to - there are other methods. If you want to sleep with your baby - You can. The important thing is that you make the right choices for your family. You are the mom and no one knows what is right for you and your family except YOU!

Good Luck!
K..

The book "Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits" helped our family, available Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc. I found the more my baby slept during the day, the better she slept at night. Good luck, I know it is very exhausting.
A. - Chico

It's common for them to still get up a few times at night at 5 months. In my case they all pretty much fell back asleep after nursing so you'll have to get advice from the other moms about babies who want to play in the middle of the night.

I sympathize. I remember the exhaustion. It will get better.

Hi I do know the frustration you are going through, because I am trying all kinds of sleep suggestions with my 8 mo old son, and not many are working, but I did get some good suggestions from a book called, the No Cry Sleep Solution. I also think that sleeping with your baby if it is working for you is fine. I bring my baby into our bed because we all sleep better and longer when we do. I put my son down in his crib for naps so I am hoping one day he will stay in there all night long but for now know you are not alone and use your mothering instinct to know what will work best for you and your family, no matter what a ny book or magazine says
god luck

My two-year-old still doesn't sleep through the night.

i just responded to another request about sleep and i will offer up my favorite book on this issue. it is called "Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell. It is short, sweet and to the point and she offers great practical tips and reassurance. she uses the "crying out" method but presents it in a really great way and you really start understanding that the "crying ouot" isn't mean and that you are doing your baby a great service (and yourself) by helping them learn how to self-soothe. she is also very helpful in ideas with how to set up a night-time routine or ritual which will help your child read the signals for bedtime. i did this with my 2 munchkins at 4 months old and they are fabulous sleepers, which not even colds and teething have disturbed. my oldest is 4 and my little guy is 15 months. i wish you the best of luck and hope you catch some needed zzzz's soon. :)

Hi, E.,

Hate to tell you, but my 8.5 month old doesn't sleep through the night either. People tell me it is because she is breastfed. But I nursed my son too and he slept through the night at 3 months. . .

I think just give it time. Every child will sleep thorough the night at their own pace. Go with your intuition. If you have to sleep with her so you can all get rest, then do it!! At least you will be all be better rested! So, don't stress!

H.

Hi,
I have a 22 month old daughter and she still does not sleep thru night. All babies are different in there sleep patterns. My daughter recently started sleeping in her own bed at the foot of our bed. I tried having my daughter sleep in her own crib when she was 4 months old and I was never getting any sleep. I personally think sleeping with your baby is the most natural thing that parents can do. I recommend the best book ever called The Baby Book written by Dr. Sears. He has really good advice and on nighttime parenting. Good luck but don't feel bad if you want to sleep with your baby. Sleep is essential for you and your baby so do what works for you.

i think even advocates of the CIO method will admit that five months old is too young to implicate this method of "sleep training." Each baby is different so even if the books say 8 months, in your case, it might not work until 9 months or older. if you choose to not use the CIO method though (as we have chosen) you can check out books by dr. sears or elizabeth pantley. Pantley's no cry sleep solution is a great resource that doesn't say how to in every situation. she gives lots of suggestions that may work for various family situations realizing that we're all different... as babies and parents. i appreciate anyone with that point of view. if co sleeping isn't a problem for you and your husband then just keep doing it. if you are being criticizzed by the outside world, ignore it and know that you are doing what is best for baby and best for you. babies are going by instinct and it's their instinct to be close to their caregiver... um... the human race for millions of years were not living in 3 bedroom houses where babies slept in nurseries. i try to remind myself of that... it's actually natural and normal to sleep together based on our "human history." I think baby sleeping in the other room is abnormal but JMO! : )

I never liked the crying out method, and it didn't work with my kids anyway. My older boy slept with us or co slept (his bed was right next to us) until he was about 2 1/2. He slowly got used to his own bed and likes it now. My younger son who is now almost 3 falls asleep in his bed and occasionally comes in our bed in the early morning. It is natural that the kids want to be close, but you can be assured that they won't be in your bed forever. You need to just see what works best for you. Good luck

Sorry I don't have time to give a more detailed response, but please click on my name and read my other posts on sleep issues and the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. I absolutely LOVE this book. The approach really works as both my kids were sleeping through the night at 3 months. Plus, it addresses different sleep issues, and I felt it was gentler and more thorough than other sleep books.
Good luck!

babies have different needs, but younger babies tend to need closeness. It can be very foreign & artificial for babies to be separated from their parents for sleeping when they are close at other times. Babies respond well to cosleeping because it helps them feel more secure. Also, by the way, many babies still don't sleep all night when they are almost 2 yrs, but at least the wakers will likely go back to sleep better if they feel secure. What I do is try to put my little one (20 mths.)in her bed after she falls asleep at night, then we get her if she wakes up. She generally falls asleep quick if we are next to her.

I have heard that children aren't developmentally ready to sleep through the night until they are 3 or 4 years old! Certainly for the first year they're so small they may need food, and for quite a while they need reassurance and comfort through the night. You might find more information through Attachment Parenting Int'l (attachmentparenting.org).

Good luck! I'm still sleeping with my 14 month old. It lets me get more sleep than putting him elsewhere, and it gives us both a chance to get comfort and cuddles at night.

Hi E.,
I know there are different schools of thought about co-sleeping but my feeling is that you've got to do what works for your family, and if doing this helps you and your baby to sleep better, go for it! It sounds like your little one just needs to be close to you. And there's nothing wrong this this! When you let her sleep with you, you are helping her to become more secure knowing that you are close by. Sure, she's going to get used to it and eventually she's going to have to learn to sleep on her own, but that can come much later when she's ready to do this.

I have an 18-month-old who is just starting to sleep through the night in her own bed. Until recently, she would sleep part of the night in her bed and part with us. We feel like allowing her to do this, prepared her to feel more secure now.

Also, about naps, I have found that when my little one takes a good nap or naps during the day, she sleeps better at night. The Dr. Sears website was helpful in thinking about this (askdrsears.com). They definitely don't believe in the cry-it-out method but rather how to help your child sleep through attachment parenting.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Peace, B.

I'm also a supporter of attachment parenting, so think it is perfectly healthy for babies to co-sleep or sleep in the same bed/room as the parents based on what works well for everyone. My baby is not an excellent independent sleeper, (probably as a result of having to be held a lot due to reflux), but we have worked out a routine that I am happy with. The thing that has really worked is a "Snuggle Nest", which is kind of like a miniature bed that can be put in our bed (we had also used it in the Arm's reach co-sleeper before he got too old for that). The Snuggle Nest is great-- he is right next to us without having to be snuggled in my arms, which made it difficult for me to sleep. We had to transition him to using it: just basically putting him in it over and over again when he fell asleep or was sleepy. He always protested, but after a while got used to it. Now he will open his eyes when he is put down, see where he is and go back to sleep.

Good luck!

I know exactly what you are going through. My daughter would hardly nap and it was torture putting her to bed. I eventually had to let her cry herself to sleep because she was becoming completely dependant on me to fall asleep. It took several weeks, but eventually she cried less and less. She finally would go to sleep after only crying for a few mintues. She is two and it is still a chore getting her to sleep, but at least she can put herself to sleep now. Also, I found that playing some soft music while she nursed and slept helped to calm her down. I play the same CD over and over so she knows which one is her "bedtime" music. Honestly it just comes down to whether or not you can stand to let your daughter cry for hours at first so that she can learn to put herself to sleep.

Some babies just have a harder thime sleeping. If you want her to sleep, and you want to sleep, consider the idea of co sleeping. In other words, even though your mom and your aunties will faint, sometimes it's the best thing for everyone. I read a great book, "Three in a Bed" and it went into all the research that shows not only is co sleeping safe when done properly, it's good for you and your baby. Give it some thought. My son prefers his own bed now. Everyone told us it would never happen, we were making a big mistake. But I feel like I got more sleep than most moms and he got a good nights sleep and everyone was happy.

Try letting your baby nap regularly during the day. If they sleep more during the day at that age, they sleep better during the night, because they aren't as crabby. Let her find her natural sleeping pattern.

It's going to be okay! Good luck!

Hi E.!

Be patient. She will eventually. My first boy didn't sleep through the night until he was like 1, or something. But my 2nd boy began to sleep throught the night at 3 months!!!!

Each baby is different. Keep your same routine, and soon your daughter will adjust to it, and sleep through the night.

Congrat's to you!

:o) N.