My 9 Year Old Has Anger Problesm

the best thing too do is put a chair in a quiet spot in the house and make it the time out no no chair and when she starts her fits take her in there and set her in it if she gets out pick her up or lead her by the hand and sit her back dow they arre too sit a min per year so she should sit there for 9 minutes

Do some research on the foods she is eating. Make sure her eating habits are good. Put in those veggies, meat (protein), and fruit. Cut out the bread, pasta, potatoes (high glycemic) foods. It's amazing the difference it makes for our bodies and our moods when we cut out the sugars in our food consumption. I believe this is why so many kids are on the riddlan(sp?) drug....kids eat too much sugary products and its affecting their health. Have your daughter looked at by a health care doctor who does NOT use drugs or surgery. He or she will be able to tell you if your daughter is or is not mineral or vitamin deficient. This plays a huge roll in all of our stress coping abilities. Trust me, this is something I did for myself and glad I did. I am now a better mommy, wife, and friend for this. "no drugs" or "side effects"

Also, perhaps if you are working two jobs (one at home and one at work) you could work less and make more time for the kiddos. I know mine get more rambunctous when I'm not there for them. I can be in the same room with them but if I'm not there for them, they get out-of-sorts. So we play games or do a craft. This can tide them over until they need me again. Kids love it when their parents spend time with them. And they need that. Perhaps plan something just for your daughter. ex: Let her invite a friend and take them somewhere special that they will enjoy. Try taking them to a bounce house, this burns off alot of excess energy.

Also don't try to stop her when she is getting angry, but listen to her. Really try and find out what she is saying deep down inside. Let her soul calm down and let her know you love her very much.

I hope this helps! Blessings to you!

Sounds like she's trying to get someone's attention. One thing to do is put her in time out in a corner when she acts up, make sure the little one is out of the room, ignore her as best you can and do not let her get up until she calms down. If and when she does, go and talk to her calmly and lovingly and ask her why she was mad. I know that sounds like the opposite of attention, but she needs positive attention and when she's angry she'll only get negative attention. Hug her close and tell her you love her as much as you can and try to find the time to play games and do fun things with both of them together. It just might work, but in case it doesn't therapy might be a good idea. They really need you and your husbands attention, just your presence in the house isn't enough.

Have you talked to her to find out why she is this way? Have you talke dot her school to find out what is going on there? I cant stress enough that you need to sit her down calmly and talk to her. Let her know if things are bothering her she can come talk to you about it in a calm way.
There are any number of reasons sheis acting this way. From her having problems at school to her not happy about dad not being home as much as she is use to. Finding out what has triggered this behavior change can help you fix the problem. If she wont talk to you then talk to the school counselor and see if they can help. Or find a counselor yourself and take her there.

Also remember that girls start going through changes between the ages of 9 and around 13. Those changes can cause stress for the person it is happening to and they lash out at anyone in striking distance. Speaking to a doctor about this would probably help, since there are so many things that could be going on to cause this behavior. I wish you the best of luck.

Oh boy,
I had the same with my nine year old son when I was working way too much, was tired, depressed, and had hardly anything left to give him.
No MUST find it in yourself to reconnect with her, praise her when she is good, do things just with her.
We chose to have children, than we don't make the approppriate time to spent with them. How necessarry are your two jobs. What is more important the extra stuff and money, or giving your kids a little less stuff, but a little more Mom.
Your sentence about being a single Mom sounds kinda resentful and possibly angry, and your kids pick that kinda stuff up, trust me.
I am not critisizing, just speaking from experience. You Don't want to lose the connection with your little girl.
Good luck

I know this has to be a really hard experience for you to deal with, and it seems like you have already gotten some good advice. My cousin used to throw horrible tantrums, kicking and screaming like an absolute madman. My aunt was at her wits end with him until they discovered he was highly allergic to red dye and chocolate. It took some time, but once they identified all the foods that contained red dye (there are so many) and took him completely off chocolate, he is like a different child.

I would definately sit her down and talk to her about what is going on as well. It is possible that she is feeling resentment because her dad is rarely there and it sounds like you keep a pretty busy schedule as well. If you can't get through to her, couseling is not a bad idea. They can help her to realize why she is acting out in this way, and teach her better ways to handle her anger.

I'm sure your home situation has something to do with her attitude (if it seems like you're a single mom, your girls will feel neglected by their dad, too), but I think there COULD be something more to it. I used to care for a little girl who was 9 and showed these same attitude problems. The parents had tried everything to figure out what was wrong. Come to find out, she was bipolar (manic-depressive disorder). I don't know if this is the right avenue for you, but it might be something to check out. It's not a bad thing to be diagnosed with this, because there are things that can be done! It's a hormonal imbalance (chemical imbalance in the brain) and once it's diagnosed, it's fairly easy to control and monitor. I would begin by talking with my health care provider. I hope this helps! :o)

My daughter, who is now 15, went through the same kinds of things, but they escalated when she was 12 - violent rages that would last for an hour or so, the last straw was when she pulled a knife on me - 'tough love' had to step in and I called the police. She was transported to BridgeWay and stayed in their Acute unit for a week, came out for a week, and went nuts on me again...from there she went back to BridgeWay until a bed came open at Youth Home, where she spent 14 months and was discharged as a 'treatment failure'... spent 3 months at home then had another breakdown...spent 6 months in BridgeWay's Residential treatment center and today is a DIFFERENT CHILD!

My suggestion, get her an appointment with your family doctor first to start talking through things; he/she will probably recommend getting her to a counselor who specializes with children and adolescents, if you haven't already done these things. A lot of people think counseling is nonsense, but, it's not - my daughter and family is living proof. Given you and your husbands busy schedules, etc. it sounds like she is just trying to get attention - ANY attention. My daughter did this. She didn't care if it was bad attention, at least she was getting it. She may have a chemical imbalance in her brain that requires some meds. Don't be afraid or upset if a dr. says she needs meds...the RIGHT ones, can make a difference. Sometimes it takes a while to find the RIGHT ones, though.

Feel free to reach out to me ____@____@____.com I'm happy to help you through my experience.

I would definitely talk to the school and see if these issues are going on there too. You probably should seek counsel about the issue. There could be underlying factors going on other than just "something bothering her". Eliminate medical issues also. Talk to her pediatrician, get their advice on the situation. My son acts the same way, BUT my son has Asperger Syndrome (an autism spectrum disorder) and these tantrums are very common & are something that go along with it. He gets therapy for all of these issues and it is seeming to help. But the source of the tantrums is due to frustrations that he is unable or has a hard time dealing with.

Talking to someone is a good idea. I had the same thing happen with my 9 year old step-son. He was throwing tantrums, punching holes in the wall and ended up punching his mom in the face. He was angry about a lot of things and especially because his mom was going to get married and he did not like the guy. I spoke with him because that is my field (psychology) and once he was able to express his feelings and see that what he thought did matter his anger subsided. He is 11 now and is doing wonderfully. Good luck, and as my mom always said - this too shall pass.

My take on that is that your precious girls need two parents part-time (from5:30 pm 7am) or one full time (all day long). Your little girl is showing signs of lack of parenatal warmed and attention, please quit your job and be with your kids. Just think about it in another 9 years they might be away from your life forever, and not just that but also resetful and with no tools to mother their own kids, stop the cycle for your own (future) grandchildren.
If your husband it's hardly home for you and the girls then let him be the 100% bread winner, but don't risk your children happiness...honestly that's the advise I'd like to receive if I was asking such a thing.