19 answers

My 7 Month Still Sleeps with Me

I have recently decided to try and move my daughter to her crib now that she is 7 months. However, she is waking up a lot more and cries a lot more. She is a very happy baby and she falls asleep fast and stays asleep when she is sleeping with me. She has to feel me to fall asleep(hold my finger, me play with her hair etc.)I feel terrible but I need to be able to move around too. I am a single mom so is it really that bad if I continue to let her sleep with me. I feel really bad when she cries because she hardly ever cries.? What should I do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well, just to let you all know.... My daughter is still sleeping with me and I have decided not to move her anytime soon. It eases my mind when she is right by my side. Plus I love waking up and watching her sleep. :) thanks to all that offered responses.

Featured Answers

No, co-sleeping is fine as long as it works for both of you. Don't move her just because someone tells you it's time. If you are both getting needed sleep, then I'd keep doing it.
Good books when the time comes (no CIO advocating):
"Happiest Baby on the Block"
"The Sleep Book"
"The No-Cry Sleep Solution" (also "...for Toddlers and Preschoolers"

More Answers

First I think you need to ask yourself why you think it's time to mover her from your bed. Is it because you feel pressure to from outside sources or because you want your own bed back. If it's because YOU are ready, then by all means go for it. If you're not ready and are doing it because of what people say or think, then it's not the right time. My husband and I co-slept with our daughter until she was about 5 months old. We only stopped at that point because she was a little wiggler and a kicker in bed. It was time. She needed more room. We started with the pack and play in our room (which she had slept in off and on since birth). I put it right next to the bed so if she woke up and needed to be nursed or soothed, I could just reach right over. I didn't have to get out of bed. I would let her play in her crib while I was putting laundry away or at various times throughout the day. I made big deal out of how neat her crib was. I don't think she understood the words, but definitely picked up on the enthusiasm! Then I started her on naps in her crib. Once she had napping down, I switched her over at night. It was kind of rough the first few nights. She was still waking up fairly regularly (every 3 to 4 hours) to nurse, so I was up and down a lot. I admit, I still brought her to our bed to nurse, it was just easier on me, and lots of times we would both drift off. No big deal, when I woke up I would put her in her crib. I think it took us about a month to get her to sleep in her crib for a full night.

Let me stress to you that this is a decision only YOU can make. She's your daughter. If other people give you a hard time, tell them to stick it. There is TONS of research that shows how beneficial co-sleeping is. Don't rush things. They're only little once. If snuggling her at night makes you both feel better, then go for it! Just don't let anyone make you feel bad for the decisions that you make when it comes to raising YOUR daughter.

2 moms found this helpful

I am a mom of 4 children, and I have to tell you that your life will be much easier if you just let that baby sleep with you. Keep listening to your mothering insticts, you really know more than you think. The trouble starts when you let outside opinion matter too much, or let someone scare you into believing that you are doing something wrong. Fear shouldn't base important parenting decisions! Human babies need touch, your baby will be smarter because of the extra touches she gets all night from you. You and your baby will sleep better knowing that you are together. Your breathing actually reminds your baby to breath. Cribs are not always as safe. You are doing the right thing!

2 moms found this helpful

My 13 year old still likes to sleep with me. Lots of people let their kids sleep in their beds. I wouldn't worry about it. If you are feeling cramped, you could always put her crib next to your bed and put her in it after she falls asleep. That way if she wakes up you can let her know you are right there.

They grow up so darn fast...my advice is to enjoy every minute you can with her.

1 mom found this helpful

Goodness--I'm still trying to keep my 3-yr. old in her bed and all 3 of my kids pretty-much slept with my husband and I for the first year or so even though they always started the night in their own bed.

Most parents I know or that have talked about this topic typically have had their kids in bed with them in some form or another until about ages 2-3. That's about the time it seems developmentally that they're ready to be on their own. Granted, there are plenty of acceptions I'm sure and plenty more people who do the "cry it out" method or the "no cry method" (which somehow for us always ended in tears anyway).

So, good luck and just know that this is perfectly normal behavior for your sweet, little one. Besides, cuddling in bed together can be special time together since you work full time.

J.

1 mom found this helpful

No! Cosleeping is not bad! It is a completely healthy and beautiful thing that is common around the world. Here are some great links:

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/

http://babyreference.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.htm

http://www.llli.org/Release/cosleeping.html

In addition, Dr. Sears and Martha Sears, author "The Baby Book" and "The Nightime Parenting Book" also support cosleeping as normal and safe.

1 mom found this helpful

First off, I'd like to say hats off to you for being a single mom. You have a full plate! My DH has started his new job in Evansville 10 weeks ago, and we have seen him maybe 10 - 12 days of it! So I have even a more deep appreciation for single parents. I don't have family in Cincinnati (which is where we live now), so it has been very rough and I'm not even working full time. But we are all moving next week to evansville even though our house hasn't sold yet.

Anyways, both our daughters really didn't start transitioning to their own crib until about 10 to 14 months. We started with nap times, then just at the beginning of bedtime. We would make a little bed on the ground next to the crib and have our hand in the crib because they liked that contact too. We would have white noise (fan) and soft music playing. It took a few days of them crying alittle at first until they realized we weren't going to leave and that we were staying in the room too. once they fell asleep, then we would sneak out of their room. Then if they'd wake up, we'd just bring them to bed. And then work slowing on getting them back into bed as time went on. We'd lay next to them on the floor by their crib until they'd fall back to sleep. It took several months before they were fully transitioned into their own crib. Our #2 took longer, since I really didn't start until she was 14 months old, and DH was out-of-state. I was tired all the time, but we both of adjusted and sleeping well. They both wake up from time to time, but I'm able to get them back to sleep just fine. The 15 month old is usually just thursty, so I keep a sippy cup of water close by.

1 mom found this helpful

I am in the same situation with my daughter who is 8 months old. I actually just put my pack-n-play (that is also a co-sleeper) next to my bed and started her sleeping in that. I think she needs more room to move around when she sleeps so I think eventually she will like it, but last night was her first night and it was REALLY hard. She kept waking up and crying because she thought I wasn't there. I had to pat her back and talk to her and she went back to sleep. I agree with the other mom that commented...you have to do what is best for you and your daughter. Like I said, I think my daughter is feeling crowded but if your daughter is comfortable with you then let her sleep there. Just remember...they are only little once! Good Luck!

A.

1 mom found this helpful

Try putting her crib next to your bed and touching her through the slats or maybe give her a scarf that smells like you to hold. That may be enough. I wouldn't worry about her sleeping with me unless I was planning on having a new man in my life. He might resent it. It also can make intimacy an issue. Our youngest sleep with us and he would sleep right throu our encounter's but that was his Dad so it never became an issue.

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