My 3 Month Old HATES the Car!

Updated on December 30, 2008
J.O. asks from Winchester, CA
22 answers

My 3 month old baby has never been happy in the car! He can scream and cry for 30 minutes and more nonstop. What is it that bothers him so much? We have added extra padding to his car seat...we just can't figure it out. I dread leaving the house with him and nobody wants to get in the car with us (I don't blame them) it's nerve wracking to listen to his cries!

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So What Happened?

I have read all your advice- thanks! it has made me feel things are normal for us. I want to add when my husband is driving (which is most of the time) /i sit in the back with our baby- but it doesn't seem to help. we have tried different music and i tryto give him a binky- he spits it out most of the time- anyway- i hope he outgrows it!

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

My mom had the same trouble with my youngest brother. He is 18 now and has always had terrible trouble with getting carsick. My mom thinks that is probably why he always cried in the car as a baby - he was carsick, poor guy! I don't know what you can do about it. I wouldn't want to medicate my baby and you can't just stop taking him in the car! I just thought I would share that with you. Maybe there are things you can do to help relieve carsickness, like fresh air (I know that is one thing that my carsick-prone relatives need). If that is the issue, it may get better when he is old enough to face forward.

Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first baby hated the car too. Probably until she was around 5 months. She was also an overall fussy baby. She outgrew it and was fine. I think some babies just take much longer to adjust to their new world. You could try one of the swaddlers that can be used while they are in a carseat- kiddopotamus. That actually worked quite well for me- and helps when they are sleeping on the go in the carseat... could also try a sound spa/white noise maker.

www.lullabyluna.com

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

is heon a bottle? if so you might givehim one while your driving . A. roberts Iraised 4 children .Wish you luck

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T.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter was like this as well, she finally seem to have outgrown it. She did seem more unhappy after 6 pm if we were in the car as weird as it sounds. I went on a long road trip (17 hours) and she did really good and seemed to get over her aversion tot he car. We got a new car seat a little later (one that they can use up till they can transition to a booster) that seemed to make a huge difference as well. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It's just something that happens with young infants. It is VERY common. Both my kids did that too, until about 6 months old.

What I used to do is play VERY calming music in the car (instrumental music)not too loud.... or I tied a helium balloon in the car (somewhere where baby could not get tangled in it or grab it, and somewhere where it would not block my rear view mirror per safety). Or, put a car-seat mirror above their car-seat so that they can "see" themselves and/or you.

But yes, it is just something that isn't pleasant for "us"...but well it's not pleasant for them either. A baby simply cries when they are not happy. But it is very common and normal.

Good luck!
Susan

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Music. I got a disney cd that is fast paced and upbeat and I played that and sang along and my daughter would fall asleep...
Remember, they are facing backwards and going fast, so it is understandable that they are unhappy...
Hope this helps
R.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,

My daughter was the same way and I never figured out the cause of the crying. It just eventually stopped. She is now 14 months old and obviously a spirited child, so I think it was just a personality thing. (We also had a major battle over getting her to take a bottle.)

The way I coped was loud music (Baby Einstein Lullabies) and white noise (I bought the CD "For Crying Out Loud" and played the car noise with wipers over and over). Sometimes these things helped her. Sometimes they just helped me to drown out her crying/screaming and keep focused on driving.

She did out grow it, and yours will too. Just hang in there and go about your business the best you can. Remember to do what you need to do to not let it affect the safety of your driving. Pull over and take breaks if you need.

M.

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L.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.. I could have written your request when my son was your son's age! From what I gathered on the Internet at that time is that somewhere around five months, they just seem to grow out of it. It may be as simple as not wanting to be away from you physically and they eventually learn to tolerate this. As others have suggested, make sure nothing is poking him, make sure he is not getting too hot (I am sure this was a major factor for my son) and plan your drives at nap-time. Also, try finding some music that he likes. For my son, it was not soothing, lullaby type music, but some totally jazzy swing! John Jorgenson's CD "Ultraspontane" was what did the trick for us. You can google him. My son completely mellowed out as soon as I put that on and put it on nice and LOUD. I swear it was like flipping a switch! Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Mine also hated his infant carseat. It had very poor "breathability" and whenever I took him out he's be covered in sweat. He would arch his back and scream every time I stuck him in and also cry during the drive, especially at stoplights. I got the panda mirror, that you stick on the seat in front of him, for him to see himself and just to have a view in general. That did seem to help a bit, but half the time he'd kick at it until he'd move it so he couldn't see out of it anymore. He also seemed to like it a bit when I rolled down all the windows and opened the sunroof. Maybe it made him feel less trapped. Course that doesn't help if it's cold where you live.

We finally moved him into the foward facing seat at about 11 months and it's been so nice. No more crying! So, if it's really bad and stressing him and you out, maybe you should get him into a foward facing seat as soon as possible. I know it's safer to be in a rear facing seat, but it's also safer to drive without a screaming baby. My girlfriend is a mom of 4 and she moved her daughter into the foward facing at three months. I think she only used an infant, rear-facing at all because of the convenience of carrying the sleeping baby around in it.

I went with the Ricaro Signo Convertible Carseat. It's in the top of it's class for safety and fits babies as small as 5 pounds. Ricaro makes stuff for race car driving and is the most popular brand in Europe where the speed limit is faster. So it makes sense that they score so high. It's like a throne and my baby no longer hates car rides!

Here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Recaro-Signo-Convertible-Seat-Sand/...

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J. - Well, in my experience, it isn't unusual for babies to hate the car. When my 20-month-old was an infant, she went through about a month of this. I figure she just wanted to be held. During that time, I wouldn't go anywhere with her unless I absolutely had to. Sometimes it would help if I sung to her, but I found it irritating that I had to sing during every trip! Eventually, she got over it.
Try limiting your baby's time in the car, singing while driving, or talking to him, but I'm pretty sure he won't be like this forever.

Good luck!

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

J.,

I have a four month old girl and we noticed she was getting fussy because she was too warm in the car seat the head cozy was furry and I had an extra blanket on her, by the time we arrived somewhere and I took her out she was sweaty. I would suggest checking out how warm he is in the car seat. We also went to Target and bought two hanging toys (about 6.95) and she plays with them. Now she's great in the car seat. I hope this helps.

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S.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son did this until he was 6 months old. It broke my heart, but dont worry ...it will pass. He loves going in the car now!

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter hated the car when she was tiny. It helped when we were finally able to turn the seat around, but she'd still fuss from time to time for a while. She is now 2 and doesn't have a problem with the car anymore, and hasn't since probably 14 or 15 months or so.

There's not much that can be done in the meantime - I'm sorry. Just try to keep car trips to a minimum - and if you have a long distance to travel, try to plan it around nap-time so he'll sleep through most of it. Also try sitting in the backseat with him when someone else is available to drive - that seemed to help my daughter a little bit.

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J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J., my twins hated the car at first too. With 2 babies sometimes the noise was unbearable. They had 3 or 4 doctors appointments each week and they would cry the whole time in the car. Playing some soothing music and giving them a pacifier helped. We also let a small toy dangle from the carrier handle to give them something to look at. Having appointments around their naptime was good because they would be sleepy. It took about 3 months for things to get better. Good Luck!

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son was the same. we had to get a portable dvd player to put on the head rest and bought a baby first dvd and that was awsome, he stopped crying. when he turned a year and we could put him front facing i never put the dvd player back up and he is fine. he loves being able to see whats going

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

As others have said, I think this is completely normal. My son didn't like the car at that age either. Luckily for us, he grew really fast and was out of the infant seat and big enough for a rear-facing convertible when he was about five months old. Even though he was still facing backwards (and still is at 15 months, though that's not going to work much longer) it seemed to make a world of difference in his car demeanor. Don't rush it if he's not big enough for the next seat, of course, but have hope that it will get better before you know it.

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M.M.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

You're getting some great advice here but wanted to share our experience.

We had the same issue when my son was that age. We did two things; first, we invested in a sheepskin seat cover and dressed him in fewer layers when he was in the car - he was overheating with the polyester seat cover. That helped for 2 months. When he started fussing again, a good friend noticed he was big for his age and thought the infant seat might be too small for him - turned out she was right. We moved up to a Britax Marathon and he's been great in the car ever since.

Good luck!!

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know, but I am right there with you! My little guy has hated his car seat ever since he was 1 month old.
I can't seem to figure out why!!! He still is that way and he just turned 7 months. Hopefully your little one will grow out of it sooner. Mine is just starting to do better with it. Of course someone has to sit back there and entertain him or give him a bottle, but Its worth the peace driving in the car.

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

Oh I feel for you! I too had a little one who HATED the car during the first year of her life. It does get a lot better as time goes on. Just try to plan your car trips around her sleep patterns. I would plan long drives when I knew she would nap....and short drives when she was rested and wouldn't be tired and grumpy. Also, try playing her music (my daughter loves the World Playground or Hullaballo series). Get a mirror or toy to put in front of him also so that he has something to keep him occupied.
What worked great for me to this day...is talking to her....explain what you are driving by, where you are going, what different animals sound like...anything so he can hear your voice. It seems to really calm my DD and now she talks back and we have conversations during most of our car rides.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

OMG! My daughter, who is now almost 16 was the same way, she would cry and scream the entire time in the car, until she was facing forward! Once she got older I found that she gets carsick. So I could only conclude that she was feeling sick while rear-facing. which at your sons age, not much you can do about it. EVERY MORNING ON THE FREEWAY TAKING HER TO DAYCARE SHE CRIED AND SCREAMED!!!
If he takes a pacifier that may help a little, overall, I dont know what to tell you but, I am sorry, I know how you feel!!!

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H.A.

answers from San Diego on

Unfortunately there may be nothing you can do. My children didn't like the car until they were about 6 months old. I'm sure it has something to do with all the extra and strange noises. Remember, your baby just arrived here 3 months ago and doesn't know that the loud noise is a motorcycle, police car, etc. Also, is he okay sitting in his car seat at home? Maybe it's a seat problem and not necessarily a car issue? Sorry I don't have better advice.

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

J.,

My now 5 year old was like that. He'd scream non-stop in the car. It didn't matter if we were in it for 15 minutes or 15 hours. Once he was able to go forward facing it helped a lot. Once we got a DVD player, that helped also. I think riding rear facing made him car sick. He was (and is) very tiny. So he didn't hit 20 pounds until he was close to 18 months old. That is a long time to listen to your kid scream in the car! As he got older we discovered he has autism and sensory integration disorder. I really think the screaming in the car was from being car sick from the sensory integration disorder. You may want to google "sensory integration disorder" and see if your baby has any of the other symptoms. If he does, find an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory issues in very young children (they can seriously work miracles with a sensory-sensitive child). There is a lot they can do to help. I just wish I knew what I know now when my son was tiny. If I had, we could have helped him much earlier and avoided lots of tears for both of us.

Most, if not all, kids who have autism have sensory disorders. But I know plenty of kids with sensory disorders who do not have autism.

T.

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