Crying in the Car

Hi A.,

My baby went through the exact same thing and then magically decided one day to be happy in the car, I'd say around 5 months. It's likely just a phase that will pass. One thing I did that might have made a difference (although who knows!) is this - I put some toys in her direct line of vision so she had some fun stuff to look at. But don't dismay...it's likely to pass soon!!!

M.

my daughter did the same thing. she was car sick. So we bought her the braclets at the rite aid, or cvs that helps with it. I put them on before we got in the car, She stopped the screaming and car rides were fun again. Good luck.

Do you have anything attached to the seat he can play with? A mirror on the back of the seat? Have you tried to take the car seat out of the car and put him in it when he's not in the car? Maybe just putting him in it in the house for him to get used to it. I've never really had a problem with any of my kids hating the car so I guess I'm not too much help.

M.

It's absolutely meaningless to say the "Bundle Me" is crash tested. There are no federally mandated tests for aftermarket products, nor none approved by any safety organization. They can throw it against a wall and call it 'crash tested.

Furthermore, they would have to be 'crash tested' in every single infant seat on the market...impossible.

They uniformly cause the harness to fit incorrectly and cause compression in an accident.

Since most states have a 'proper use' clause in the child restraint laws, they are also illegal because child restraint manufacturers forbid their use.

There is NEVER a reason to use a Bundle Me in a car seat, nor is it safe.

I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of helpful advice. My only idea is that you get a mirror back there so he can see you in his mirror. Typically I think it's kind of a hazard for parents to be checking in with their babies while driving, but if his screaming is driving you to distraction, that could be worse. Also, if you're nursing, when you're not the driver, I highly recommend setting up a seat for yourself next to his and nursing while in the car. Whenever my husband drove, I did this and it made a WORLD of difference.

Mine cried so hard he's start gagging and it broke my heart every time and scared me plenty as well, and the mirror did not work with him. But maybe you'll have better luck! And they will outgrow it! I can't remember exactly when mine stopped crying inconsolably the whole way -- probably around 12 mos. He's a year and a half now. He still doesn't like the car, but I keep him plied with snacks and we "look for trucks" like it's our livelihood, and he tries to get them to honk. Good luck!

Maybe try a convertible seat in the rear facing position. It might give him more room.

My first son was the same and it was just something that he eventually outgrew. I've read a few mothers say that when they made the switch from the infant to a rear-facing convertible seat, the crying went away. Remember to keep your son rear-facing for as long as possible as this is 5 times safer than forward-facing.

I also wanted to add, do not put a BundleMe on your infant seat - this is not a safe item to use in a car seat in a vehicle - it is not crash tested and the thick padding will compress in a crash causing the harness on your child to be too loose. This could result in injury to your child, or your child being ejected from their seat.

L.
-Child Passenger Safety Technician

Two things worked for my fella (not consistently, but more often then not)

1) He seemed to stop fighting getting in the car seat after I put the Bundleme cover on it - I imagine he found it more comfortable.

2) Not many toys/distraction ploys hold his interest for too long, except for crinkle books and burp cloths - I make sure he always has one of each when we hit the road.

My absolute sympathies. The first one would fall asleep looking at the car, the second one would start screaming looking at the car and continue for however long we were in the car. When she finally got able to talk we found out much to our dismay that she was actually car sick from riding in the back seat and the car sickness would give her a migraine or an abdominal migraine. Perhaps you can ask your pediatrician about this and see if there is some mild baby type med you can give him. Maybe a little flat coke in a bottle would settle his stomach if that is the problem but I would not do this without checking with your pedi guy first. Good Luck. They do grow out of it and a good pair of ear plugs for you, not the baby, helps.

Bev

My son hated his car seat & screamed constantly after about 15 mins in the car. This all changed when he was turned around to face foward. He's 7yo now & still gets car sick if he tries to do anything in the car except look foward.

In my son's case, the crying in the car seat seemed to be due to acid reflux. The car seat is at a bad angle for reflux. It got better once he was treated for the reflux with medication that reduced the acidity of the reflux. Funny that at 4 months, he had the crying, but was not spitting up so much until a little later. This can make it a more difficult diagnosis with more testing required. The reflux then tends to get better once they can walk. I'm not sure if you are seeing any symptoms outside of the car seat, but it might we worth at least talking to the pediatrician.

If he is in one of those "buckets" that snap into a base, make sure the base is level. Many car seats slope way down so when an adult sits the knees are higher than your rear end. Stuff that rear-end corner of the seat with rolled up towels and really tighten the base down for safety but make sure the base is level. Then when you put the "bucket" with baby in it facing rearward, he is laying back, not sitting up.
I had a very old car (Chevrolet Caprice) that had no airbags so I would put my daughter in the front passenger seat facing back and she could see me and was happy that way. There are new trucks that allow you to turn off the airbags since they only have front seats, so if you do not have an old car, that could be an option.
I would also do what another posting suggested: let him sit in the carseat in the house and see if it is the seat or not. I switched both my daughters from the "bucket" to a true rear-and-forward-facing carseat with 5-point harness at about 4 months since it was just much more comfortable and could be adjusted for tilt.
I also got a double jogging stroller with a big basket and a bag that hangs on the handlebar, and tried to do as much as possible walking in my own town (groceries, library, hardware store, etc.) I get very carsick myself, which makes me feel like crying too. Poor little guy. Good luck.

Is he too warm or bundled up when he's in the car? Are the straps too tight or uncomfortable? Is there enough padding in the car seat? Perhaps something is digging into his back/legs, etc.? Is there something that makes him uncomfortable from a GI perspective; i.e., he gets a tummy ache, gas bubble, hernia (wild card but you never know)? etc., due to the position of the carseat? Have you talked with your pediatrician?

What is the scenario like when he's ok? When did your older son stop having this problem?

If not, could he just be bored? Perhaps putting some toys in his reach? Do you play kid music in the car?

Two of my kids HATED their carseats as well. With one I found there was a plastic thing underneath the padding that was making her uncomfortable - -I only found it once I took apart the carseat. The other one was too hot - - I ended up buying one of those snuggly fleece things that fit into the carseats and my son would be in a lightweight t-shirt and lightweight pants. These two children also had very bad acid reflux, preferred to be on their tummies (hated being in the upright carseat position, and it wasn't until they reached 7 mos. that things turned around and they were better.

I used to cringe when I had to put them in the car, but did my best, got through it, and they are fine now.

Hang in there!

J. - -mom of four

My son cries when his pacifier falls out of his mouth when we go out in the car. I decided to just let him cry until he falls asleep. I do make sure he is fed and has his diaper changed before going out. I realize I can't stop at every traffic light to put the pacifier back in his mouth. I will;however, put the pacifier back in his mouth when we stop at our destination.

R. M., LMHC
Working Mother
Private Practitioner
www.robbinmiller.vpweb.com

Evan cried until the day we purchased a convertible carseat and he has enjoyed it much more. You could always just let him cry while in the carseat if he's crying just because he doesn't like it. You can't stay at home until he grows out of the car seat or you can purchase a regular carseat I always liked them better anyways.

A.,
My 5 month old used to scream and cry in the car as well. Holding his breath while I drove was not safe. One of my friends who is a researcher in fertility and early development suggested that it could be a type of motion sickness due to the immaturity of the inner ear system. Kind of like the reason why babies spit up, a combination of gas and the immaturity of the digestive system. Basically her suggestion was to wait it out and that he would grow out of it, which he pretty much has. Also, having something for him to focus on might help. Like a medium size stuffed toy. For the meanwhile, I know that it stinks but I think you have to just get out and do things. I would turn some soothing music really loud to drown him out. Sounds mean but you can't be a recluse and you have to focus on driving. Could you also sit the 2 year old right next to the baby? Maybe he could try to offer toys, binkies or singing etc?

HI, The first thing that comes to mind is he may be getting car sick. My last baby would cry in the car, in the swing, anything that moved and when he was a toddler he cried on kiddy rides too. We later found out he has a very sensitive stomach and gets motion sickness so easily. Maybe a mirror on the back seat or something colorful for him to look at to focus his eyes on might help distract him and cut down on the sick stomach feeling if it is that. Good luck :)

My older daughter (who was also fairly big) did the exact same thing. She would scream from the moment the car started moving until it stopped. I finally ditched the Graco and got a Britax Marathon. It did work. She's never grown to LOVE the car, but she did stop screaming. That alone was worth the money....Good luck!

He may get car sick. My oldest son hated the car he was also a big boy.He was very attached to me. maybe tape a picture of yourself on the seat so that he can see it.He can't see you. They think you and he are one. Also white noise my son loved that. Try a childs CD like Baby Einstein.He probably thinks he is alone. Make sure he has the right smells give him a blanket that you cuddled with.

Hi A.,

That happened with my older daughter and we finally had to give in and get the infant/toddler seat. She was so much happier and enjoyed car rides. Good luck!

Thanks for posting this: my 23 month old just recently started screaming on car rides(especially in my mom's minivan-regardless of where the carseat is- not bad when he's in our 4 door between his older siblings. I never considered motion sickness but I'm going to see if I treat that if things improve.

My baby boy did the same thing and what helped us was to buy one of the Fisher Price mirrors that lights up and plays music (you have a remote control in the front to turn everything on/off). The extra bonus was you can really see him in your rearview mirror using the reflection off this mirror!

Hi,
My older son is almost three now and he had the same problem when he was an infant. I figured out just a few months later what was wrong. He had a reflux and the angle in a car seat was not confortable for him. What you are saying sounds very familiar to reflux.

Hi A.,
I COMPLETElY sympathize with you about the crying in the car situation. For the first year of my daughters life, she had a horrible time in the car and even now, at almost 2 she doesn't LOVE it, but it's much better. Some things that help us in the car are: music, timing trips around naps, giving her a paci, not eating RIGHT before the ride (she threw up a couple of times when we did this), a little fresh air, and frequent stops/shorter drives, when she was younger. Another thing you could try (maybe when your babe gets a little older if this continues) as it could be motion sickness, is a product called sea bands, which touch on a pressure point and are supposed to reduce nausea/motion sickness. I would NOT suggest playing a DVD, as it can make matters worse, I can tell you from experience. I'm not one for showing my daughter TV, but when it got really bad when she was 1 or so, I put a player in the car - bad idea it made her motion sickness worse and she threw up... Just don't want you to learn it the hard way! It is probably just a phase, but it's definitely not easy! Hang in there... This too shall pass!
S.

Feel around underneath the cover of the car seat to make sure there isn't something under there that makes him uncomfortable.
It very well could just be that he cannot see you in the car. That said, of course you wouldn't turn him forward at such a young age. Maybe you could get one of those soft car seat mirrors and try to aim it so he sees you in the rear view mirror when he looks into it.

A.,
My son had the exact same problem, and I really wish I could tell you that I found a silver bullet that fixed it, but I didn't. I did find something that helped, but it was a little odd. If I shook a maraca or other noisy rattling toy, it would soothe him. It didn't always work, but it was the only thing that ever did make him stop. I had to shake it constantly as long as he was awake, and sometimes I had to sing too (thankfully they don't have distracted driving laws for singing and playing instruments while you're trying to drive, though maybe they should). My main solution was to avoid the car as much as possible. We walked and took public transportation a lot. By the time he was 10 or 11 months, he was a lot better about it. Try the maraca - you have nothing to lose. Good luck! :)

Also, Laura, BundleMe is crash tested. JJ Cole would be happy to give you the test results if you contact them. Using one is still controversial from a safety standpoint, but they do perform crash tests.

I've had three children, all who have cried in the car to varying degrees. My personal opinion is that they don't care for riding backwards, making them feel car sick. It always seemed that once I turned them around at 1 year, they improved dramatically. I feel so badly for you, I have been there. My youngest would cry until she would vomit almost everytime we were in the car. I think its car sickness really, which unfortunately has no solution. This could be completely wrong.......I hope you find a something to soothe your little one!

We had the same problem for months, until we changed carseats to the convertable seat. My son was 9 lbs so I think it was the angle of the carseat for our son that was uncomfortable for him. I did the same things, made sure he wasn't hungry, wet, etc but literally every single time in the car seat he'd scream more and more. Sometimes he's settle down, but mostly he'd just get more and more upset until I had to pull over and get him out for a break. I tried to distract him with toys and mirrors, books, my sunglasses, anything and everything that is safe for a baby to play with. Pacifiers did help, but if he lost it in traffic, the screaming all over again. He loved his swing though so i don't think it was motion sickness. And now I have a 2 m.o. and she seems to hate that seat as well. So my best guess has been its the angle of the seat, and/or he was bored. We have a graco infant seat too. Good luck.

My oldest liked to suck, everytime we got in the car, he cried, until I stuck my pinkie in his mouth. I wuld let him suck my pinkie until he calmed down, He also sucked my pinkie in the shopping cart at the grocery store. Wwhen he was 4-5 months old he started to suck his fingers and all of our problems were solved.
My youngest loved a stuffed animal, so we took it with us everywhere. This comforted him, and he never would cry in the car.
I hope your child likes a pacifier or another comfort object.
Good Liuck