My 3 1/2 Year Old Has Decided to Not Poop in the Potty

Updated on September 21, 2009
C.W. asks from Clearwater, FL
9 answers

She has going pee in the potty down. She stays dry all night. I can take her the the bathroom 30 times a day. She wont poop in the potty anymore. She poops once or twice a day and NEVER in the potty anymore. Any suggestions on what to do? I have tried stickers and candy. I have gotten mad at her and made a big deal out of it. I have tried the calm way where I just change her and don't say anything. Tonight, I took her to the bathroom and she peed and then we went outside. About 10 minutes later she came to me and said I pooped. Please let me know what you did to make this a success!!
Thank you

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I think that I am going to try the treasure box. We don't have any new babies in the house. Only her older sister that is a teenager. I have made her clean it up her self many times. That is what I did with my older daughter. There is nothing medically wrong with her bowels. We do the happy dance and she loves that. It's so frustrating after a while. Thanks to all for the advice. :)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Tampa on

Do you have books in the bathroom for her to look at? She's bored just sitting in there waiting for it to happen - kids want to be active & moving, not sitting & waiting! Give her something to do. You can sit with her & read to her - it will relax her (thus relaxing her bowels) & eventually it will happen!

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.R.

answers from Tampa on

My son loves Thomas the Train and Cars. I put a small toy that he would like on the back of the toilet~ sometimes he picked it out. When we bought it at the store, he would understand that he can't open it till he "poop in the potty!" I also explained to him that it was more work for Mommy to clean dirty smelly underwear. He is very sympathetic to me working. We did the potty dance after each success. He would get the toy. We would discuss it too. Like "Edward the train" can't come out of the box till he poops in the potty. We also told him he can't go to school till he is potty trained. We did rewards with stickers and candy for pee, but it didn't work for poop. Our doctor recommended a smaller items like the treasure chest, but his favorite toys worked within a week! Wish I did it sooner! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Melbourne on

Could she have been constipated and associates the discomfort with the potty?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

I've read from other moms that no underware works pretty quickly.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

What worked for us was a treasure box. I filled a plastic box with a lid with little things from the dollar store and didn't let him see what was inside but if he pooped in the potty he got to pick one prize. Worked like a charm. Then we just gradually faded it out.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son was doing the same thing until I took Dr. Kevin Lehman's advice and made him clean up his own underwear and himself when he had a BM in them. (Often they don't want to stop what they are doing to go, so they do it in their pants). This works quite well. (If your child is sick and has runny stools, I would make an exception to making him clean them, otherwise, no).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Punta Gorda on

I do not know what time of the day she ussually goes to the bathroom, but what really helped my daughter was bath time. I gave her a book and asked her to sit on the potty and try while I filled the tub. The sound of the water always relaxed her enough to go.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, C.. Have you tried asking your daughter why she doesn't like to poop in the potty?

Is there a new baby in the house? If she sees that the baby gets to poop in the diapers, your 3.5 year old might have decided that she wants to get a little extra mothering by having you clean her up. Who gives her a bath? Maybe you could try giving her a little extra attention in the bath or playing with her more, and that will satisfy her need for extra attention.

Sometimes, very young children revert (go backward to baby behaviors) when something stressful happens to them. A new baby in the house, or a new house, period, or some other new and anxiety-producing change, can trigger that.

In the meantime, here's what I would do: stay calm, #1, and #2, make her help you clean up the poop! Calmly explain to her that the poop needs to be washed out of her clothes, and that the reason why we poop in the toilet is so that we don't have to touch the poop and wash it out of our panties, shorts, skirts, etc. CALMLY. Not as a punishment, but because she's a big girl now, and big girls can wash their own underwear. It may take a few times of having to do this, and she probably won't do it very well, but it's likely that after washing her own poop out of her own underwear a couple of times, she will want to put the poop where it belongs!

Again, don't punish her. Don't make a huge deal of it. Just very calmly get her little hands moving to do the job. She isn't going to like the smell, the feel, etc. And if you keep reminding her of where the poop is supposed to go, and that it goes in the potty so that no one has to wash it out of the underwear, she will get the message. At the same time, keep giving her good attention for other things that aren't related to poop at all.

Another thing that can be very effective is for her to see you going to the bathroom. Let her know how good it feels to make poop in the toilet, how proud you are of yourself every time you make it to the toilet, and so forth. And when she starts to do it right again, yes, give her all kinds of hugs, rewards, praises, joyfulness, and tell her what a wonderful girl she is.

I certainly hope this is helpful to you. I'm not a big fan of poop myself.

Peace,
Syl

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Orlando on

I would make her clean it up. Have her dump the poo into the potty and then have her "wash" the underpants in the sink w/ soap. I made my son do this and after about three times, he stopped and would go in the potty. I would say, "you are a big girl and this is what big girls do, either go in the potty or clean up your own mess". Does she do it whn you are out? Or only at home? She may just like the attention.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches