HELP - Not Pooping in the Toilet!

I had the same problem with my 4 year old daughter. I know cleaning poopy underwear is not fun. We had tried the sticker chart for rewards when she went but that didn't work. We had also bought a toy that she really wanted and left it in the bathroom until she went so many times on the potty then she got the toy that didn't work to well either. The toy was in there a month. I finally got tired of it and told her that if she went poopy on the potty I would give her a dollar to put in her piggy bank each time she went. If she went in her underwear then she had to give me back a dollar. That worked. She went once in her pants after that and I think that was a true accident. I know how hard it is. You just have to find a trick that works for you. Good luck to you.
Jenn

Hi D.,
I know that once you're in underwear, you don't want to think about using diapers, but if he's just going in his underwear, that's not working. If you're open to the suggestion, I would allow him (for now), the opportunity of a diaper for pooping only - and only if he sits on the potty or toilet wearing his diaper to poop. That will start to get him comfortable with the idea, and after a while, he can try without the diaper.
Good luck

pooping is very scary for kids. dont yell, this is not something that we as parents can't truly make happen. i would either put him back in the pullups, or try to discuss him having to ask for a pullup when he has to go. i understand your concern with school, but if they wont assist in anyway, i would take him out for now. sounds like he just isnt ready. he might be ready in 2 weeks or 2 months, but there isnt any magic button or else we would all do it. making a big deal may have him hold it, which then will cause painful constipation, then he will be too scared to go causing more constipation. im telling you one bad experience with pain will set you back so dont allow a cycle to start. im sure he will be on his own in know time.

in the mean time, try to watch him more closely and have him sit regular times. eat lots of fiber , and try rewards. all of a sudeen, it wil just click. god luck

My daughter did this exact same thing. She was perfect on peeing, but pooped in her underwear every day for about a month more. And then, she just started pooping in the toilet. As you noted, there is just nothing to be done to force the issue, and just when I felt that we would be washing her underwear forever and feeling desponsdant, she just decided to do it right. Every child is different, of course, but it may resolve itself...

--E.

My daughter was trained at night first and then did pee pee on the potty but not poop. She pooped in her undies twice. I decided that she had to be by myside all day. I knew when she had to poop she would squat down. So I had her hand all morning and into lunch. Everytime she started to squat I would take her to the bathroom. By 2pm I put her on the potty and told her she was not getting off. She complained her butt hurt and she was crying but she finally pooped and all was well. I don't know if she thought a hand would come and grab her bottom or what but she just didn't want to poop. She had pooped on the toilet before but for whatever reason she did this. Well after that - she pooped on the potty all the time without me even asking if she had to go. She was really a pleasure to potty train minus 1 day and I am very lucky. So I suggest you keep him by yourside whatever you are going to do.....you'll get there!!!! Good Luck to you and I wish you lots of patience!

Hi! When potty training, I try to incorporate the following:

Allowing the child to go to the bathroom with me or dad to see how it's done. Children love to imitate- especially parents.

I'd get books and tapes from the library on potty training. There's Once Upon a Potty books (for boys and girls) and many others. And there's some great videos out as well. He might like seeing other children go.

Also, if you know of other little folk around his age who are potty trained, I'd invite them over and have him witness them being "big kids" and going to the bathroom. It may be very motivating for him to see his peers going potty.

I'd try not to yell or anything, as you noted, it can be counter-productive. They generally will go when they are ready and not a moment sooner. :)

Hope I've helped!

I too have a 3 yr old boy, who was somewhat trained to go "pee" on the potty around his b-day in june. He was going to a summer preschool program and had to be potty trained. He went to the bathroom to pee with no problems or accidents... but he would not sit on the potty to "poop". I had him playing outside (bare bottom) and i brought the potty seat outside in case he couldnt make it into the house. Again he would pee sitting on the potty, but would hold his poop. He pooped twice, just standing up and it fell to the ground. (Yuk - i'm sorry) I thought that maybe he didnt want to sit to "poop" ???? I had no idea...

Fortunately, he could hold it and he would tell me "mommy, i am a little tiny baby and i need a diaper to poop" I would put a diaper on (we still use them at nap and overnight)and he would poop, then I would take it off right away and we would dump it in the toilet and flush etc...

When he would tell me he wanted a diaper to poop I would first put him on the toilet to see if I would get lucky with timing and he would feel what it felt like to go on the potty and not be scared... he would just cry and like you I did not want to traumatize him.

Again, I was lucky because he would not poop in his underwear, he asked for a diaper. Since he wore underwear to preschool, and it was only a couple hours, he would wait until he got home and poop in a diaper.

after a while he would poop maybe 2x a week on the potty, but request a diaper all the other times. he would also wait until nap or bedtime when we put a diaper on to go. I just went with it, because he actually had himself on some sort of schedule :-) He would also poop in a public bathroom if we were out for a long time running errands or at a restaurant. I guess he knew I did not have a diaper and he really had to go. Eventually, he became less and less scared of popping on the potty.

Now he poops on the potty all the time and asks for a diaper 2x a week. boys are harder. I think he was scared and it was a control thing with him too.

Maybe try telling him that if he lets you know when he has to poop you will put a diaper on etc... Then you will both have a little more control... Seems like yesterday that i was wondering why he wouldnt sit on the potty to "poop" and now 4 months later he is almost 100% trained. soon it will just be a memory. :-)

Keep him naked from the waist down..

We also used stickers and peanut M&M's as a reward.. two m&m's or a sticker.. his choice for each poopy in the potty

Also get books like Everyone Poops.. talk abotu it.. how it's great and it's such a "BIG BOY" thing.. use phrases that make it cool.. talk abotu his favorite peopel and how they use the potty too, without making the "So why don't you" connection.. just mention it.. I know.. what conversation does that right? But like pregnancy you'll be amazed how the motivation helps you slip it in to everyday Elmo talk ;)

The pee learning comes easy.. poopy learning is harder.. it's not the same feelign or process to them.. so it's difficult..

My son is a great potty learned child.. but now our issue is keeping him on the potty instead of a little bit.. then.. runs back in in 2 minutes for more.. we are trying books.. maybe books by the toilet may make it more fun to sit there? An activity or toy he can ony ahve on the toilet so he's more prone to sit there for a bit and try?

GOOD LUCK!!! We have all been there in some fashion be strong! Have faith!

Relax. Boys are harder to potty train than girls. I have a 4 year old son who has been potty trained for the last 6 months, but he still does pee in the bed at times. The best thing to do is send him to the bathroom every hour on the hour. You have to be very patient with boys.

hi is it the same time of day?... you can get him in the bathroom for it? maybe even picture books till he gets the urge. dont worry he'll catch on.
praise is better than prize! good luck

You are not alone. I had this issue with both my boys. My youngest turned 3 in August. Every time he pooped in his pants. I cleaned him up quietly and then made him sit on the potty for a few minutes. I told him we always sit on the potty when we poop. Then we would read a potty book or watch the potty DVD or something I could find on youtube. (Be careful, some of it is not age appropriate.) Eventually, it worked!!!

My oldest daughter was a breeze - potty trained @ 19 mos - my youngest though - she was almost 3 when she was totally trained. The final strategy I used was a little treasure chest I'd keep in one of the drawers in the bathroom - I filled it w/little things - stickers, lollipops, anything I thought would help! And believe me, I don't agree in bribery, but it worked. Good Luck!

take him to buy new big boy underwear(let him pick out what he wants)...and then once you have it at home tell him that o he can wear it when he poops in the potty because you don't want to get his new underwear dirty. My peditrican says its okay to offer them a pull up for poopy times but if he won't tell you when he has to go that may not work for you. I've had 2 boys do this and for the first the underwear trick worked and for the other...well it just took time, but I do promise it won't be forever...

Boys tend to be toilet trained much later than girls. The fact that he has had a relapse concerns me. It seems that an event happened that discouraged him from and he no longer wants to face that again.

Click on this link for further advice on toilet training which also talks about a relapse.

http://www.saferchild.org/potty.htm

Be patient and understanding. He'll need your support.

You might have to explain to him exactly what it feels like to have to poop, because he may not recognize the feeling. You have to explain about the "poopoo belly" feeling and the pressure, which means run to the potty. You could also check to make sure he's not eating too many of the kinds of foods that make poop soft and hard to control.

Most kids are pretty regular about the time of day they poop and also show signs of getting ready to go. Watch him for the signs and take him to the bathroom. Tell him he has to sit on the potty, but dont insist he make in the potty. Also he might be concerned about what becomes of his poop. Lots of kids dont like it being flushed down the toilet. He is 3 and should be able to tell you if something bothers him about it.