I don't know if this is just a phase, or something I should be concerned about. Suddenly, my daughter needs everything to be "nice and clean." Not necessarily tidy, but clean. She's perfectly content to toss her blocks, for instance, all over the floor, but after a few minutes will need them washed before she will play with them anymore. Or Mr. Potato Head or stuffed animals or books or rubber duckies or whatever. I rarely cave, but sometimes, it's just easier to wash a toy (or shoe!) than to argue. We've experienced several tantrums over this. I admit I'm not the neatest housekeeper I know, but we don't exactly live in a mess, either. Neither do we "freak out" or scold at a spill or drop of something messy - we try to calmly say "uh-oh!" and clean it up. In my memory, we've never had to take away a particularly dirty toy and wash it mid-play (sneezing or spitting up on it...), and her grandmother (who babysits occasionaly) and MDO teachers both say that they haven't, either. None of us can figure out where this suddenly comes from. BTW, she hates for her shirt to be wet, and has never liked dirty hands, either. Ironically, this is the same child who plays with rocks every chance she gets. So, is this a phase, or do I need to up my own cleanliness standards to keep up with my 2 1/2 year old, or is she just "being 2"?
Thanks to everyone with your very encouraging responses. I'll try giving her a rag and maybe a swiffer, and letting her determine when things are "nice and clean" herself - I like this idea, and I suppose it really has been an overlooked learning opportunity. I was glad to hear this is just a phase - I'm sure there are many more to look forward to. To (very loosely) paraphrase, "Who knows what strangeness lurks in the minds of toddlers?"
I never had this problem with any of mine, but try giving her a slightly damp washcloth and let her clean them herself. If it is only slightly damp, she can feel the wetness and it still shouldn't get her shirt wet. If it does, get her a little painting smock to wear while she cleans. If she has to clean them herself, she may get over this phase very quickly.
Why don't you give her a shallow tub with just a touch of water and a wet wash cloth and let her wash the toys?
Give her some wipes are dry cloth and let her do it tell her they do not need to be washed if they are not thrown in the floor but since she threw them in the floor she needs to clean them. My two year old will not walk barefooted in the grass and hates sand on his hands but loves to play in t two year olds are just pickey You should not worry about it and let her help clean them up.
I think it is just a phase that will pass. My oldest daughter used to do the same thing and sometimes still does.(She's 7) For her it is a power struggle, wanting her way and trying to be in control. I suggest not caving in as much as possible because it will only encourage the behavior. If it is something you think is perfectly fine w/o being cleaned, give her a wipie and tell her to go at it. My daughter quickly realizes to keep quiet because as she has gotten older, she is able to do more cleaning when she complains and not just with wipes anymore. You sound like your doing a great job and you shouldn't feel like your standards are not good enough. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with your house being LIVED in and not spotless all the time as long as you are taking care of the most important thing...your daughter! That is my philosophy! Good luck!
That's interesting. I'm sure it just a phase.
Try reversing the roll and ask hand her a wipe to clean the toys herself. But, use it as a game of play. Ask her to help you clean the toys with the wipe and sing a song while you are doing it. Maybe she'll have fun and want to join in.
Good Luck!
Hi, I worked in Early Childhood Development for about 3 years and have seen A LOT of "quirks" if you will. It sounds like she's "Just being 2" to use your words. From a mother's perspective my resolution would be to give her, her very own damp hand towel. That way she can clean all the toys as she see fit. And you don't have to break your back feeding into a compulsive desire. I also encourage playing in as many messy things (play dough, shaving cream, kneading bread, rolling cookie dough, etc) as possible for as long as her attention span will allow you to. That way she'll get used to the fact that mess happens and it's not the end of the world. Hope she grows out of it soon :-)
This soooo just a phase. My daughter is doing too. She is 21 months but I hear "wash it" about everything (except a messy face.) It can be frustrating but it will eventually pass. Even now she's not as picky about everything being washed. Just that dang paci that she won't give up. So don't fret, she's not the first child nor will she be the last, and this too will pass.
~H.
It is a phase. I went through it, my mother-in-law still talks about my husband going through it (because he is SO not like that now!) and my daughter went through it. The concept is new and mysterious and she is figuring it out and learnign how to do it. She sees you do it and wants to manipulat you into doing it for her. Give her a wet cloth and have her do it, or it doesn't get done. Enjoy it, it won't last.
I agree, it's probably just a phase and that you should let her clean them...it could be a control issue also....so if she wants them clean, let her do it. If OCD is what you're worried about, my 7 yr old does have O.C.D (not about cleaning) and if it is something that she would have then there is really nothing you can do about it. My 4 yr old is showing tendencies that way as well and I asked how I could head it off....no way (it runs in my husbands side of the family).
Good luck :-)
My kids did the same thing. They don't anymore. But, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was always on the back of my mind as my husband has this. So, many times I would let them clean everything. The fronts of the refrig, stove, dishwasher doors. The floor, toys, door knobs. I really put it to good use and they loved it! I also made sure that I forced them to play with something they thought was dirty every once in awhile to show them that it was ok. The best way to do this is to play with it with them. They are now fine with being clean and being dirty. There is a time and place for both. But at that age - they couldn't stand it. I do think they need to be taught that it's ok to play with dirty hands, etc. Just to teach them to get tough and do things they don't like. It's a valuable lesson in life and it seems to have worked for me. Balance.
Hi Amanda,,,,
i think i might be able to help you get here some cheap safe wipes and tell her their hers to clean her things with no matter what it is .IT is a win win to me
Good Luck L.
At first it sounded like she might have a little compulsive disorder. My little sister was the same way, but has slowly gotten better. You should take her to the doctor if it progresses at all. If she is afraid of germs, tell her that not all germs are harmful, and that some of them help build an immunity to the really bad ones, like public restrooms.
Sounds like a phase. It's a small thing she can control. Give her something like soft rags or safe wipes and show her how she can make sure her things are as clean as she likes. It will make her feel grown up and you won't be constantly cleaning her things.
Hi Amanda, because there are few things that a 2y/o can be in charge of, make decisions about, my guess is that she's found a way to make some important decisions and instructions. I would let her do the cleaning of the blocks and other items she needs cleaned up. Perhaps give her a couple of special "cleaning rags" that she could get to easily and manage those decisions herself. Notice then if the real issue is managing You. Does she want to have You stop what you are doing and clean as she directs? That is a power struggle. Not everything should be cleaned with water, like her books. Hence, the dry rag.
Also note if the wet shirt halts enjoyable play or if her intolerance is based on stopping an activity she didn't enjoy in the first place. Is it preference or power struggle?
Hi Amanda,
I think it's a phase. I remember going through similar things as a child. Anything dirty or sticky on my hands drove me nuts. I hated getting something on my clothes too. I am still a big time handwasher. :) Try not to worry. Get her, her very own box of baby wipes, tell her that when something is "dirty" she can clean it with these special wipes. Maybe that will help both of you! :)
Best of luck! A.
If I were you, I'd get a damp washcloth and leave it by her once she asks the first time to clean something. Then just tell her after she does the cleaning the first time, "We're going to leave this here just in case you need to clean it again." and then if she says she wants it cleaned again say, "Okay, Mommy doesn't think it's dirty but if you do, then you should clean it. Find your washcloth." And then encourage her to do it. Let it be her choice and give her the control. She'll enjoy being treated as a big girl and she'll like the control. If you make it part of her play, it will be short lived. Even though you don't "make a big deal of it" she can sense that it's an issue, so put it all back in her control. It's all about play and imitation at this age. Enjoy it.
Amanda,
I had to laugh at happy memories when I read your request for help. Laughing, because my mother told me that when I was about your daughter's age, I couldn't stand for my white shoes to be scuffed or have the least amount of dirt on my them!
I am now a senior citizen and proud grandmother and don't worry about clean white shoes!!
I don't think that you should worry about the washing bit. She probably will be into something else next month!!
These "things" are called phases and there will be others. I'm sure that this has nothing to do with your housekeeping! You sound like a wonderful and caring mom...
