Please do not lose your mind. Your son semms to be and please excuse my expression, spoiled. Since you cannot bring yourself to chastise him, and before he tears up everything around him, maybe a child psychologist could help. First of all when my children were young like yours time outs did not work because they do not understand what they means. When my children were small like your son is I was very stern with them and loving. so they would not take advantage of me. Oh they would listen to their father, all he had to do was appear and they would stand at attention, and that's ok, but children should obey both of their parents.
He is not challenged by you, he knows you will let him get away with things and that's why he does that. When a child throws things at you put a stop to it use your instinct.
I pray that everything works out for you and your wonderful baby.