Discipline for 10 Month Old and Screaming Problems Too!

Kids that young are hard to discipline. Just keep up with it. I wear glasses too and had to teach my boys not to grab them. It takes patience and continuity. I don't know what to tell you about the screaming. My youngest, now seven, still is very vocal. It can be very frustrating. Good luck and Happy New Year!!!!

Oh I feel your PAIN!! My baby just turned 16 months old yesterday. She has a very bad temper. So bad in fact that EVERY doctor and nurse that entered my hospital room after she was born said "Oh this one has a temper, you're going to have fun dealing with that mom." Yeah!! (NOT!! LOL) Her temper is so bad that she will get so upset, she passes out! She literally holds her breath and passes out but I have tried to curtail these episodes by keeping her from getting to that point of "so angry" that she passes out. Knock on wood, she hasn't passed out in three months now.

As far as disciplining a 10 m/o, you simply can't do much more than remove them from the situation and DO NOT laugh at her or it will turn into a game for her.

As far as the screaming, I don't have much to offer in that department. My little one will scream from time to time but when she starts that, I get right near her ear and whisper "Use your inside voice please" and I may have to do this 2-3 times to quiet her down but it does help.

Be patient mommy!! This too shall pass :)

Most of the time all you can do with kids is to be paitent. Kids learn from repeditive gestures, they don't learn that fast and if you stop then they stop. I wear eye glasses too and my daughter finds them very interesting, I always tell her that the glasses are mommy's and she can't play with them.
Taking your child out of situations isn't always a good thing because then it makes it harder for them to learn that you mean no if they are getting into things. You don't want to have to put everything in your huse up, your kid just needs to learn that they can't have it.

She maybe having a hard time communicating to you in a way you understand. We did baby signs with both our kids and people are always commenting to us how well behaved they are. We attribute a lot to the fact that we taught them the basic signs to express their needs. (for getting food, bathroom, sleep, etc.) We didn't go totally in depth, just the basic needs and a few extras that seem to be a consistent act.

We don't think it too early to start introducing them to discipline. you do modify to their age. For young ones, make it very simple, and really relate to something they are familiar with. We use a naughty spot. For you daughter she may only have to sit there 15 seconds to start with or you may sit down in front of her quietly. Sometimes having to do nothing (not getting to play), can be enough, so sitting still on a chair, maybe holding your hands in her lap, might be enough. Be brief with her, don't let her "argue" with you.

As we have used the naughty spot more, if they get up we just immediately return them to the spot with not talking, no eye contact, just succintly and quickly. My son will look up at us after wrestling a toy from his sister, and say, "I was naughty, I need to sit in the chair," and go take himself to the chair. Thus,when that happens, we go over and praise him for recognizing it, reiderating that it's not nice to do whatever he did and let him up. He's only 3.

I think the hardest is being consistent. Cutting away the emotion from a incident to determine the root or action desired.

As far as screaming if you can leave the room, try letting her alone, If she doesn't have an audience you may find they subside quickly. if you can't leave then pick her up and take her to her room/other room and let her finish there. Don,t discuss it with her, that's acknowledging it. Let her calm down and come back to you.

Those are just some of the things we do and they seem to work amazingly well.

A 10 month old is too young to really understand the word No. Time outs are not effective until about 18 months. Never slap her fingers or use physical punishment. She is too young and will only know that you have hurt her and she will be confused and sad. Just keep repeating the word No when she does something you don't want her to do. She will eventually get it. Keep as many dangerous things away from her as possible. As for your glasses, you'll just have to try and catch her hand before she grabs them. Even by 11 months she may stop grabbing for them if you are consistent. As for the screaming and tantrums, ignore them. She is looking for attention and she needs to learn that she will get better, positive attention for using her inside voice and not having a fit when she doesn't get what she wants. If she throws a fit, walk away. Then model positive behavior so she can see a healthy way to show she's upset or frustrated. For example, when you are frustrated, say so, "Mommy is very frustrated right now because I can't find my wallet." She may not understand what you're talking about, but it will leave an impression as she gets older and she will learn to handle her upsets much better. My son is 3 and I never give in to him when he is laying on the floor screaming. I step over him and tell him I will listen to him when he can talk to me in a happy voice. It works. He doesn't throw many fits. It's a hard age right now, but be consistent and loving and positive and your baby will catch on. :)

i would keep being stern with her sounds like u are doing the right thing but maybe also have her checked out by a doctor as well and see if there is something else going on with her too.my youngest was a screammer and hes 11 yrs old now and hes my dare devil hes already had a broken arm at the age of 9yrs old and hes powerful as as an 11 yr old now and he has tatntrums hes too has been like tht he has his good days and his bad days just keep at it though but would have her checked out maybe good luck sweets

what I did with my kids was flick their fingers, hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to leave a mark. I do this, because they cant copy that until much later in life, whereas a spanking can encourage hitting (Note: I am not against spankings, but I only give as an absolutly last resort). As for screaming, well my 2 yr old has been having temper tantrums since she was 6 months old, although they arent as bad now as then. I took one of those personality tests that our hospital sent us, which really help me understand her. I dont remember now what it all said, but I do remember that it said she will say everything in a loud excited voice, even if it something small, which is true, she can find something lost and scream at the top of her lungs I found it, and I am usually sitting right next to her. Just stay consistant with your little one, remember what is cute one day, wont be the next or the next and so on. Your little one is getting to the "fun" age, but it does get better and as long as you stay consist and firm, she will turn out just fine! Good Luck!

I know exactly what you are going through - it can be so frustrating sometimes! Unfortunately, though, what I have to say probably won't make you feel any better...

First of all, the "Terrible Twos" typically start much earlier than 2. Much of the literature I've seen says 18 months, but in my experience (from talking to lots of moms) it seems that they start at about a year, give or take a couple of months (which would be where your daughter is...) My daughter started throwing little tantrums around 10 months; the big ones started at 11 months. Basically tantrums happen because toddlers have all these REALLY big feelings that they A) don't understand and B) don't know how to deal with them. Add in the inability to communicate (much). I know if I was dealing with all that at once, I'd probably scream and cry too.

I know the tantrums are untwanted behavior, but try to look at them from your daughter's point of view. For example, she's sitting in your lap, and sees something shiny on your face, she thinks "wow those look like fun!", so she grabs them to have a little fun. Then, instead, she gets a frown, a no, and the "toy" is taken away from her. Just imagine how frustrating that would be. It's good that you try to explain to her "they're expensive" or whatever, but it will be some time before she understands...

Which brings me to my next point (sorry, this is getting long-winded). While there are varying opinions, most people will tell you that a 10 month old is too young to "discipline," and I agree for the most part. However, she can LEARN. The key is consistancy. If EVERY SINGLE TIME she goes near the fireplace, for example, you grab her RIGHT AWAY and redirect, at some point (after many many MANY attempts) she'll learn that every time she goes there, she gets moved, and decide it's not worth the trouble. If, however, on her 10th try, you DON'T grab her, she'll think to her self "sometimes I can go over here, sometimes I can't" and keep trying, hoping for another chance. As parents, we REALLY have our work cut out for us!

I highly recommend "Happyiest Toddler on the Block" - if nothing else, it will teach you a lot about what's going on in your daughter's head.

Also, I know it's hard (I have a 16 month old and a 2 month old...) but when she's doing something "against the rules" try to remember it's her JOB to explore the world and find out how things work (when I let go of a toy, it drops, when I throw a toy, mommy yells, etc)

Good luck, and as always, this too shall pass, and you'll probably look back and miss it (well, some of it...)

Well, I am in the minority, but I think you can discipline a 10 month old. Remember, discipline means to teach. I started doing the naughty rug with my son when he was about your daughter's age. And trust me, you daughter most likely knows what "no" means. The way I did it, when I saw my son getting into something he wasn't supposed to, I would say, "no" in a stern voice. If he stopped, I clapped for him and said, "Yay! What a good boy!" If he didn't stop, he went to the naughty rug for one minute. I put him on a rug in our front room that is not near anything fun or interesting. After a minute, I went to him and told him, "You had to sit on the naughty rug because you didn't obery when Mommy said No." Then I picked him up, hugged him, gave him a kiss and told him I loved him. It took a little while, but he got it. Of course, there are still days that he has to go to the naughty rug, but not nearly as much as he used to. Children this young will not understand everything you say when you explain why they went to the naughty rug, but they will quickly learn the relationship between ignoring your "No" and the naughty rug. And my son has a temper too...hit hits when he gets mad. I've taught him to hit a pillow or the floor when he gets mad, and he does that about 85% of the time...when he doesn't, it's off to the naughty rug. With the screaming, try ignoring it. She may be looking to push your buttons, to get some kind of reaction, and when she finds that she won't get one, she will probably stop. Try turning the stereo on and setting the volume kind of high, to help drown out her shrieks. I hope this helps!

M.

I thought that I wanted to join this mama website but to think that some of you actually condone disciplining an infant saddens me! And the one who wrote about how her family treats there child and says to each there own - very sad ladies! I am raising my 4th and the two older have gotten president awards, respect awards and the list goes on and I did NOT thump their fingers, cheeks, NOTHING - hands are not for hitting or instilling pain! Your daughter will grow out of the stage she is in, you have to be patient! You can not just expect her to stop being a baby because you are done being a mommy and training her in a loving way.

when i first saw your post and didn't read it yet , i thought 'dicipline a 10 mo old? are you kiddin? ' hahahah,
i didn't know a 10 month old needed to be diciplined

first off,, i'm with Kerri and her ideas and also the naughty time out spot ideas in the other post.
i'm not much one for physical reaction to something a child is doing. my sil used to flick her sons cheek when he did something. infuriated(sp) me! he was 2-3. now she just grabs him by the front of his shirt in a fist and talks really close ot his face.. not fond of that either.. but to each their own.

anyway,, wow,, yeah,, it takes many many times of saying no, and then directing them to something else and being patient. eventually, you hope, they will move onto something else and not want so much to be into what they are not supposed to be.
we usually use words like ouchies, give you booboos, things like that where my kids will know that those things they think are fun and neat can give them ouchies or boo boos..not sure what words you are using when you say you try to explain to her why. children that small need short, small words over and over. the same words too. my husband used to say 'stop'.. i would use the word NO.. since i was with them most the time, they knew what no meant, they had no idea at stop meant..haha
screaming huh.. i feel so lucky i dind't have a screamer. my daughter is 2 now and sometimes lays down on the floor and cries/screams, but doesn't sound anything like what you have.
other things they have done in the past, i've notice that when i give them attention for it, even if it's telling them no we don't do that, or leave the food on your plate(food throwing,ugh, that's my big one).. it doesnt' help,, and if i ignore it,, they don't get attention for it. i'm still in the stages or working on that one so i'll see if it works or not.
maybe if you don't react to the screaming she will eventually see it doesn't get her attenion.. (?)
Either way,, i'm fellin' for ya..
important to stay calm, be patient, and talk to everyone you can about your feelings..hahah,,
sounds like you have your hands full
T.

Please don't disapline her yet. She isn't ready for at least another year. My husband and I have been foster parents for 5 years and have a lot of experience with young children(including that we have an 11 month old ourselves)and the best you can do now is babyproof,redirect, and don't react to a behavior you don't want her to keep.But at this age, she's finally has the means to try and express herself and her frustrations. My husband wears glasses too,and when our baby grabs them, he just moves her hand and trys to get her something really interesting to play with instead. No one expects your daughter at this age to be a well behaved young lady, and if they do,they're being unrealistic. Your not raising a robot. Around 2 years old, look into a method of disapline called Love and Logic. There might be a video or audio cassettes in your local library, but they have it for all ages including toddlers, and it works wonderful. But please, don't disapline her yet, she's too little. Have fun with her and relax.

Wow, this sounds all too familiar. My daughter is 7 months old and she has also always had a temper. She is slow to get started but when she gets there she is very irrational. She is very advanced developementally as well. I just took her to her ped the other day to find out if there was something wrong, ie. ear infection again. She said she was very healthy and as far as she can tell nothing is wrong. She told me that a little tough love is probably what she needs. She also said that a schedule is paramount at this age. My husband and I have already implemented the crib (because it is a safe place where she is confined) as her time out. When she starts throwing a fit because she didn't get what she wanted, or something like that we pick her up, don't talk to her and put her in her crib. I tell her when she calms down she can come out. It took a good week or two before we are seeing results, but now it only takes a few seconds for her to calm down. The ped said they don't understand cause and effect yet, but they do understand limits. I get frustrated when people tell me that she doesn't understand, when you are the mom and know they understand. If she will listen to know most of the time and then choose to ignore you another...she knows!!! I would be happy to talk with you during those screaming momments, because I totally understand being at the end of a very thin rope!!! My other email is ____@____.com

Wow! I am really surprised at a lot of these responses!! A 10 month old infant does not need to be disciplined! Take it from me, as a mother of three- you will have many, many years ahead of disciplining your daughter. She is still an infant and right now needs to feel safe, loved and assured more than anything. At 10 months old, most children have no vocabulary, or very little at best. They are just learning to move around, touch and feel their surroundings and learn cause and effect. It is your job to keep her away from danger, not her responsibility to know what is right and wrong for her to touch. The fact that she is grabbing your glasses may be annoying to you, but she probably is only doing it because you fascinate her and she wants to learn all she can about you. By grabbing, touching and feeling, this is how she goes about it. As far as screaming, it can be embarrassing and exhausting! But it is part of her learning to express herself. Just don't respond to her screaming. Eventually she will learn there are more productive ways to communicate. You could try teaching her a little sign language as one other woman had mentioned. I know a lot of parents who have had great success with it. Our family did not think it was useful for us, personally. I found that it slowed down verbal communication with my middle child, so we didn't bother with it with the third, but different children thrive differently. It is very normal for her to try everything before she finds an appropriate method to communicate, don't punish her for trying!! You wouldn't want to hinder her from learning. This is how we grow as humans and she is just beginning. The discipline will need to set in when you know she is behaving badly and she is old enough to know better. This is not yet a behavioral problem, it's a learning phase. Embrace it! There are many ways to instill limits and guidelines at this age by keeping her on a strict schedule, healthy diet and structuring some one on one playtime with her, along with letting her go free and explore (with very close supervision). Good luck, it's a hard job- try to look at what she is doing positively. As parents, we too have just as much to learn about communicating with our children as they do with us!