My 18 Month Old Is Making a Mess!

Updated on March 08, 2008
J.C. asks from Bernardsville, NJ
17 answers

I have an 18-month-old son who refuses to let me feed him. He literally covers himself from head to toe in food. My kitchen looks like a hurricane after every feeding. He won't wear a bib and rips everything off if I try to cover him. I don't want to thwart his independence. Any suggestions?

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S.P.

answers from New York on

My daughter is the same way. Sometimes I find just putting a little food on her tray at a time. This way the second I start to see her throw things I can catch it immediately. I try to keep telling myself it is a sign of independence.

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J.S.

answers from Elmira on

Hi J.,
My 16 month old son is the same way. They are just exploring. I do get frustrated at times myself, but then tell myself he's still learning. One thing that has helped me is, putting the fork in his hand and guiding the fork with food to his mouth. We are still working on it but, he is starting to use his fork. As for the clothes, sometimes he eats in just a diaper otherwise I use spray n' wash with resolve power to keep the stains from setting.
Hope this was helpful and good luck.

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J.G.

answers from Rochester on

try putting a plastic table cloth under his chair (dollar store has them or try a thicker one you can wipe off and reuse) and strip him down to diaper before feeding. Maybe try to have him help you clean up too. Try giving him fork/spoon and you have one too, take turns. I hope it gets better, the messes these kids can make in a single sitting!

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N.G.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
Your story gave me a lot of encouragement, as far as being happily married for the second time. I am 33 years old and have been divorced for three years now. I feel as if there is no hope in ever finding another mate, especially with two little children, I have a 6 and 8 year old, two girls. Can you give me any advice on where to start? This has been weighing heavily on me and I feel so alone all the time. As for the feeding issue, I had always tried to making eating a fun thing to do and make a game ut of it, such as here comes the airplane and giving food as a reward for doing something good. Hope that helps!

N.

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E.S.

answers from Albany on

My twins were that way. I used to feed them intheir diapers and put newspaper under their high chairs. They out gre it by the time they were two. I sed to put the high chairs in the shower after they had their bath. If we had to go out in the morning dry cereal was always good specifically cheerios. We did a lot of cheese cubes and turkey cubes and apple cubes as I recall. toast cubes (no butter) Ezekiel bread is an excellent source of protein and fiber and comes in different flavors. This too shall come to pass. Take pictures. :)

C.B.

answers from New York on

let him eat in the buff. If you are out, bring a change of clothes.

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J.W.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi J.,

I have 11 and 14 year old boys, plus I do daycare so this is very familiar to me. I would suggest you feed him foods that are not so messy, so that he can feed himself. Stay away from the mashed potatoes for now, go with food he can still use a fork with or finger foods. He wants to do it himself and until you let him do it completely, you will have this battle. I remember when my oldest would noit eat for me for three days! I was frantic until I figured out he wanted to do it all on his own...his favorite meal was mac and cheese, kielbasa, cut up for him and peas. :o) Hope this helps...sounds like you already know...you just have to adjust to what he can handle on his own. Put a garbage bag under his highchair...and take his clothes off when he eats.

J.

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C.P.

answers from Rochester on

I would strip him down to only his diaper and let him eat on his own! If he is eating well, and getting some food in, I would let him do it. Good Luck! My DD refuses a bib too, I am forever changing her clothes!

C.
Mommy to Jessie (9), Katie (7) and Julia (2 ½)
www.TimetoChangetheDiapers.com
Adorable, affordable cloth diapers and reusable items for babies, kids and Moms!

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V.T.

answers from New York on

All kids that age are going to make a very large mess...Take him and let him pick out his own colorful plate ,bowl,cup and silverware,Oh and HIS own napkins..Show him how to use the silverware and napkin and praise him even if he make a mess..He'll get better each time and it takes a lot of time..I should know,I raise 2 girls and 1 boy! Good luck,and enjoy all the little messes as they get older so does the messes!LOL

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

My son was the same way. Since he refused a bib I would let him eay with just his diaper. The laundry was becoming overwhelming - especially when it was spaghetti & meatballs day! Then when he was done he went right into the tub.

I tried the plastic on the floor but it was harder to clean than the floor itself so I stopped using it and bought extra wipes to keep at the ready.

Also I would limit the amount that I would give him at a time. For instance his favorite lunch would be cottage cheese, kiwi's and fishy crackers. I would give him the cottage cheese in a cup (breakstone's) then the fish, than the kiwi. Never all at the same time.

He never grew out of being a messy eater. A 4.5 yrs old he is still a mess - but in a different way.

A.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Relax! Let him eat with his hands or whatever! Do some preliminary preparation, like floor and wall covering, but most of all, enjoy him! Few kids go to college without knowing how to use a knife and fork. It will come, don't fret! Moll

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P.N.

answers from Glens Falls on

I am smiling reading this...
As long as you are not encouraging his performance, he will grow out of it. I guess I would say, give him finger foods that are not slimy, slippery or messy. Dry foods, etc will be easier to pick up.
My daughter "wore" all her food. It doesn't last that long. We do have several great photos for blackmail later.
Hang in there !

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S.K.

answers from New York on

There is independence and then there is a waste of money. I know he's too little to understand, but wasting all that food consistently would be hard for me to tolerate.

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H.B.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

I'm going through the same thing with my 19 month old. He wants to feed himself and screams if I try to help guide him. To top it off he is very picky and loves oatmeal and yogurt. So I make the oatmeal very thick and pastey and I put on an old stained shirt for feeding time with yogurt. He has been getting better at getting the food in his mouth this week but I can relate on how frustrating this is!! I try to give him finger foods and I only give him a little at a time so he doesn't spill it. I know he will learn to eat on his own and before we know it they will be off to college so I guess we just have to be patient!! :) Best of Luck!!!
H.

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

try to give him as many finger foods as possible. if you give him oatmeal...make sure it's a little more pastey so that he can actually feed himself. i've been having the same problem with my daughter since around that age (STILL having that problem and she's going to be 2 in 1 month). at this age they just for some reason INSIST on feeding themselves. the ONLY way i was able to feed her myself was to distract her, have her play with toys, throw in a favorite show, etc. good luck, and try to have patience (i know it's hard, i still want to scream and yell and throw my own tantrum when she does lol).

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K.W.

answers from Rochester on

Hi J., We used to put a plastic table cloth under the high chair to catch any food that would land on the floor. It made clean up alot easier. I'm sure that with time your son will get better at feeding himself. They grow up so fast , so enjoy every moment.May God bless you and your family.Thank God for your childrens health. K.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

i've just avoided giving her messy food. any spaghetti and meatballs she gets have minimal sauce at best. she does wear a bib. also, when she starts doing things like putting food in her hair and throwing it on the floor, i take it away and say 'ok, i guess you're done'. she quickly learned that throw food = no food. this also works with bibs---no food until the bib is on. i have started to use the hard bibs with the big pocket. there are several brands--much less mess.

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