My 17 Month Old Gets up to Nurse Too Many Times at Night!

Updated on July 19, 2008
S.D. asks from Littleton, CO
16 answers

I would love any help figuring out how to wean my son off of the nighttime nursing. He was only getting up once a night, which was fine, now he gets up at the same time every night 2, 4, & 5;30 or 6. I know that he doesn't need the milk, he eats plenty of big meals throughout the day. Please help with anything you may have tried, any thing that worked,(dad going in when he wakes up, which i haven't tried yet.) Yes, he has always nursed to sleep, and I know that is a whole other issue to deal with..Any suggestions will be appreciated, I am ready for a better nights sleep!

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So What Happened?

This is the first request for advice that I have put out using mamasource, and I am impressed with the amazing number of responses. Having so many opinions is amazing, and will make it easier to formulate a plan that is right for our family. We are going to have dad go in tonight when he wakes and give him breast milk in a sippy cup,( I hope that I can pump a few drops!) and offer him teething tablets. He loves them anyway, and maybe the teething is creating this new phase. I just know it will be torture because there is no way that I will be sleeping through it, and Dad doesn't have the same soothing ability...But we want him to. I am not a fan of crying it out. He usually wakes up because of a burp, he has had and overgrowth of yeast in the colon which was causing him to digest improperly. So, I have gotten used to him waking uncomfortably, and nursing him back to sleep. Many, many times a night. But anyhow I really appreciate all of the feedback and well wishes & will update after this weekend!

More Answers

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J.L.

answers from Provo on

Actually my husband was very involved in that process as I was working and he was staying at home. I still nursed, but he would bring the baby to me ect, ect. When it came time to get her to sleep through the night and/or wean her, it helped to have him go in there instead of me. Everytime I went in there it would just rile her up. I am seeing that now with my little boy too. (Who I'm not trying to wean, only keeping it down to one feeding between 5-8. If I go in there and it is too early, it is too late and unless we want a long night I will usually feed him. But if my husband goes in there he just gives him a pacifier and he goes back to sleep. I weaned my little girl at 15 1/2 months. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I had already had her down to two feedings. 1 before bed, and one between 4-6 in the morning. I stopped the one before bed first and I started a different routine. She was only somewhat reluctant. Then almost automatically after putting her down without feeding her she gave up her other feeding and for the first time really she was sleeping through the night. I realized then that she only woke up because she knew that I would feed her. Take that out of the equation and all of a sudden it seems better just to stay asleep. I would say, use your husband if he is willing, and just do it. Once he's weaned you will be getting a lot more sleep. If your husband can't, just be consistently putting him down instead of feeding him and although you'll have some rough nights it will pay off in the end. HOpe that helps, sorry if it's jumbled.

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

go cold turkey. he'll be ok and you'll get sleep

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L.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

One possibility is that it is a phase? Has he been sick or has there been extra stress? Maybe he needs a little more reassurance for a week or so.

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

Don't nurse him. He is too old to be getting up that many times --- even once. Tap into resources that talk about getting your child to sleep. He needs a comfort object. Let him cry. You need to get a backbone. He needs some independence.

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

A seventeen month old should be sleeping through the night! I weaned all my kids at one year or so, kids that age are much easier to deal with in those areas! At this age nursing is really just for comfort since breast milk is no longer enough nutritionally. Break the nursing/falling asleep habit now while you can. This will probably take a few tough days but much easier in the long run. We took my daughters paci away when she was 3 or so and for about a week it was really hard but she completely forgot it very quickly. A seventeen month old is a toddler, not an infant, they really eat more like we do so eating at night is for comfort. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

Great book recommendation; Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth(spellng of his last name may be wrong, but you can easily find it on-line). This book is great for issues exactly like you are dealing with. It helps with the 'why' we should change this sleeping pattern, and gives great directive as to 'how' to change it. Good luck! Hopefully sleep is in your future!

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K.Y.

answers from Cheyenne on

I have twins that are now almost 3, but I nursed them until they were about 18 months old.

When one of them (my son) turned 1, I decided he was too old for waking in the middle of the night to nurse, so dh started going in, and then when I DID get up with him, I refused the breast and instead (had this prepared earlier) gave him a sippy cup with a little bit of breast milk in it to drink- he promptly told me he didn't want that and would rather go back to bed if he couldn't nurse (of course he couldn't say all that at all, but this is what I understood from his gestures and such)-
Did this 2 nights in a row (he was on;y waking every night around 3am) and it worked- he quit waking up after that..

Now he is almost 3 and just began waking early in the morning before it is "time to get up" and crawling in bed with us (they both do it when they wake up if we are still asleep) and cuddle with us and sleep another hour or two.. very nice way to wake up in the morning in comparison to crying for us!):)

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A.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My 2nd baby was still waking at this age and nursing back to sleep. When I asked my pediatrician for advice, he said that as long as I was nursing, he would keep waking! I would definitely suggest using your husband at this point. If you go in to him and refuse to nurse it will probably just make him madder; he knows you have the goods and doesn't understand why you're holding out on him! I started sending my husband in first. In the beginning, it worked about half the time. If he got too upset and inconsolable, my husband would come wake me up and I would still nurse him (I know, rewarding his behavior, but it worked!) Gradually, over a few months, my husband was able to get him back to sleep everytime and he was waking far less. By 20 months, we weaned completely and not having the night nursings to wean from made that whole process go very smoothly. Hope this helps. It doesn't get you more sleep instantly, but I think kids do far better with a gradual approach! Good Luck!

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N.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

hello my daughter was getting up multiple times a night to eat as well and I finally took everyone's advice (my doc, mother, sister, grandmother) and let her cry it out. It took 2 nights but now she sleeps through the night. Her Doc told me that it is now a social situation and she does not need to eat at night. I hated it because I did not want to let her cry but 2 nights of greif paid off. And my daughter is one child that I had to just go cold turkey otherwise she would just keep doing it.

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

a lot of toddlers do most of their nursing through the night because they're so busy during the day that they forget to stop and nurse. are you still nursing him frequently throughout the day too? just because he's eating lots of big meals doesn't mean he doesn't need the comfort and reassurance too :) does he sleep with you? mine is 25 months and she still nurse two or three times at night. . . you may need to transition him out of sleeping with you if you want to stop the night nursing or start trying to find other ways to soothe or make yourself less accessible to him nursing freely at night. good luck

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

I totally understand being ready for a better nights sleep. When I was ready to night wean my son, my pediatrician recommended a sippy cup with water in it. I'm in Utah, so it's very dry here and my son was actually thirsty. That worked well for us -- then we worked on other sleep issues :). He has a cup in his room with water in it at night still (just turned 3 years old).
Has he always nursed to sleep? It could be that he doesn't know how to go back to sleep on his own. This was part of the issues my son had with waking at night and is a little harder to solve. As much as you want a good nights sleep NOW, it will take a few days/weeks of consistent behavior to solve the problem. I was so desperate for a good nights sleep that I would do whatever it took to get my son back to sleep quickly -- which just made him dependant on me to get to sleep. Which, in turn, makes the problem worse.
What really helped me was having a plan written down of what I was going to do to solve the sleep problem. That way I didn't have to try and think of what I was going to do that night when he woke up (in my tired state I'd always revert to whatever got me back in bed the fastest).
Because I'm not a fan of crying it out, I recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution." The author presents several solutions to sleep issues and you can pick the ones that will work best for YOUR family (in my family having Dad go in when he cried wasn't an option because Dad has a really hard time falling back to sleep -- and he works full time while I only work part time). Once you have a plan, stick to it. It's hard at 2 am to not cave in, but the more consistent you are the better it will work.
And it's worth it -- my son now goes to sleep by himself and sleeps thru the night in his own bed (barring the occasional nightmare). Good luck to you!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Just let him fuss for a least 10 minutes before rushing in and do anything ELSE but nursing him. He should be able to sleep all night long. Kids under 3 wake up several times at night but typically can get themselves back to sleep. If he is nursing he is doing it out of habit like a pacifier not nutritional value. You will have to maybe wait until a weekend but let him fuss through it a few times. There is nothing wrong with occassionally your husband going in and rubbing his back, not turning lights on and not saying a word but telling him it is time to sleep quietly. If you go in he will be able to smell the breast milk and can be more of a battle. Hang in there! :) He could be teething too which can cause frequent discomfort at night. Try teething tablets if he wakes or tylenol before bedtime. When my kids were under two and had restless nights it was almost always teething...nursing helps soothe gums too so that is why he wants to nurse possibly too. Have your husband go in, give him natural teething tablets, they were life savers for my son.

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C.M.

answers from Denver on

When I weaned my daughter (who's 19 mos) from nighttime nursing at about seven months, my husband's assistance was essential. For a couple weeks, when she cried at night, he would have to go in and sooth her. She knew what she wanted from me and she knew that I had it to offer. Your son is old enough now to really know how to get what he wants from you. This isn't easy, and you're going to have some rough nights. I'm still trying to work up the nerve to wean my daughter from her before bedtime nursing! Good luck!

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R.W.

answers from Denver on

Maybe you could try offering a bottle/sippy cup of water instead just in case he is just thirsty or dry. Sounds like you just need to make a decision yourself that you will not give in and nurse at night. I am sure it won't be easy at first and maybe make for a few long nights, but eventually he will get it.

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M.D.

answers from Denver on

You have some very good responses here so I'll just add mine as additional support. My daughter started doing the EXACT same thing at around 14 months. One night I just decided I was done but am not a fan of letting such a small child "cry it out" by his or herself. SO, my husband and I took turns holding and rocking my daughter all night long. Of course she asked to nurse but we just kept explaining that it was "night night" time and she could nurse in the morning. It was a long - very long - night but I felt so ready to have a decent night's sleep (read: 5 straight hours) that it felt ok. I nursed her around 5 when it got light again and, miraculously, she slept well the next evening.

Since that night, I nurse her before bed and THEN we brush teeth, read books and rock to sleep. My husband took over the rocking to sleep for the first two weeks so that "nursing to sleep" no longer was her norm. She still wakes up at 4:30 to nurse but I'm ok with that for now. It really comes down to what you are comfortable with. If you aren't ready to let him cry it out (with you or alone) then don't. Despite the fact that many people will tell you what you SHOULD be doing, you really need to listen to yourself and your child. Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

ween him to a cup, and let him take that to bed, let him cry it out, he's definitely old enough to sleep all night, and if he keeps getting attention when he wakes up, he'll keep waking up.

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