Moving States

Focus on the positive. Instead of starting with we are moving away from friends... tell him, "I've got great news! We are moving next to your grandparents! isn't that exciting, sure you'll have to start at a new school, but you did that so well last time, I know you can do it again and we can do lots of fun activities to help you meet people, and if you would like, we can still keep in touch with some of your old friends. Mom-Mom and Grand-Dad may even know a few boys in the neighborhood to introduce you to!"

My husband was a military child and he moved every few years, sometimes, a couple times a year... and he turned out just fine. Good luck!

I grew up in a military home and married a military man. Moving was what we did. I actually love that we got to move because it helped me to see that life wasn't so limited to what people are like in one place. We learned new cultures, enjoyed new friends. In my experience, children adapt really well. You will not mess him up for the rest of his life. Just don't show him that you are uncertain about your decision. Your lack of confidence will weigh more heavily on him than the move would.

I moved around a lot as a kid and it' didn't mess up my life! Yes, each move was hard with losing friends and the fear of the unknown but I can honestly say that I enjoyed everywhere that we ended up.

Focus on being close to family, getting a new room, new backyard. Try to make it an exciting adventure. If he's worried about the new school, remind him that he did it last year and made all of the new friends that he has become attached to. He will do it again!

Good luck,
K.

Mom-mom and Grand-dad are your best incentives. After you tell him about the move, maybe they could call more frequently and talk to him about how happy they are that he'll be so close. He's not going to be happy, especially since he just went back to school. I would let him know that you understand how sad this will make him, but it's being done for a really good reason. Also, maybe he could have a going away party with his friends and they could all bring pictures of themselves to make a little album. Moving is tough, but kids are resilient. He'll adjust fine as long as you let him know you understand how he feels.

OH NO, I was an Air Force Brat and moved every 2-3 years and I'm messed up for life! NOT. :) No sweat! There is nothing wrong with being adaptable, since many times in life things are temporary, but if your new home is permanent-tell him you're not moving anymore, and being near the grandparents is a serious perk. Kids this age do replace their friends easily, and the sadness at moving is natural and good practice for the many sad times in life to come. It's the feeling of character building. I have no friends now from when I was 8. He'll be fine! Also emphasize that your home town doesn't define you. Let him know that your family is what is permanent and no matter where you live, you'll have each other and there are good friends to be made everywhere.

We're a military family so we've moved a lot! Be honest with your son and keep things as positive and up beat as possible. Go online and find all the fun things there are to do. As long as you keep your same routine in life he'll be fine. Sure he may be upset but things happen in life and as long as you're together as a family and keep your regular routines within interjecting more changes than necessary, he'll be fine. We're moving again at the end of the year. Hubby is retiring so hopefully this will be the last move for a while!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Hi CC. Moving from state to state is rough for any one...not just kids. We moved from Ohio to PA 10 yrs ago when my girls were 3, 6 & 8 yrs old. Each had their own "issues" to deal with. Of course my youngest seemed to handle it the best...for the first time I got the chance to be a stay-at-home Mom. We moved in the middle of the school year, my middle one had no problems with school since she went from a full-day program to a half-day kindergarten. My oldest had some trouble with the school work, but had she had a better, more intrested teacher it could have been avoided. I should have also done more about finding out exactly what she had mastered in school proir to our move...silly me I thought all 2nd grades were the same! We moved once more about a year & 1/2 later into another school district when we decided to buy a house vs renting. It was only a couple of miles from our rental and because of the dance studio and the softball program we had been in the girls were somewhat familar with the area we moved into and had some friends already. That made the move easier! Since then one of our girls has graduated and the other two are in high/jr high. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else anymore and the move was the best thing in the long run that we ever did. It's hard at first, but remember you set the tone for your family. If you are positive and confidant about the decision you have made about moving your son will get though the transition. Keep in touch with his friends, email, letters and phone calls are great. Try to make plans to visit in the summer if they keep in touch. Friendships can survive and thrive long distance with care. Best wishes.

Kids are resilent, trust me. My dad worked for IBM. (Ive Been Moved) i called it. They odopted my brother in NY, then moved to Dallas, when he was 3, then there, they odotpted me, We moved when I was 5 and I remember that like yesterday. We moved to st.louis. Then about 5 years later we had to move to the DC are. I will admit, it was very sad and upsetting to me to leave my school and friends and neiborhood after 3rd grade, and to enter a new school in 4th grade. Although I didnt know at the time, but it turned out I had already some type of attatchment disorder from being passed around as an infant. However, when I say resilant, it is because I bounced back pretty fast. I also had some problems as an adult and my children were bounced around to much when they were young.They did very well (surprisingly) not only bounced but were suddenly away from me for 6 months.They did very well with the situation even being with strange care givers. I will have to say, when we got to DC, my parents told IBM that they could not relocate any longer. My brother and I started having behavior issues about 4 years later and they thought another move would really damge us. I think in your situation, you will be fine if it is not to many moves. Also, listen to your childs concerns. My parents did not, they just sort of threw us in the car or plane and said (we are moving).It will work out for you faster than you think. 8 years old is an age where yes, he may get a bit of anxiety, however, if he graduates in that town he will probably consider that area his home town. I considered DC my hometown and we moved when I was his age. Good Luck.