Moving--dealing with Emotions

Yes, I can relate. When we have moved ourselves *and* when I had to move my mother's things (both when she was moved to assisted care and after she died), I felt very emotional while I was packing up everything.

Somehow, the emptier the place got, the better I was able to see the whole procedure in the correct perspective.

Remember that this change of address isn't the end of the book. It's the end of a chapter - and the book goes on.

I'm pretty sure if I went back to the house where my kids were raised for their first 10-14 yrs of their life, I would be SO emotional. I would not expect my H or sons to be.

It would be best if you could limit your time back in their house. THEIR house. Transitions are tough. How did you get your kids through their transitions in life? Different schools, rotating friends, graduations? You were encouraging and kind and gentle with them. But you allowed them their feelings. Try to allow the same for yourself. Doesn't mean you are wrong for having those strong feelings. Be kind and patient with yourself.

I'm sentimental like you. I'm sure there will be some answering on here that haven't a sentimental bone in their body. I hope they refrain from invalidating your feelings.

Seventeen years ago, we were in our 'starter' home. (My husband had bought the house before we were dating, so I played no part in the decision of which home to buy.)

I knew it wasn't permanent, and quite frankly, I hated that house. I hated everything about it- the location, the layout, the horrible neighbors, everything.

Almost a year to the day after our daughter was born, we moved into our dream home. I couldn't wait to get out of the old house. As we did our final walk-through, I was surprised to find myself tearing up.

We brought our daughter home to this house, starting a new phase in our life. I thought of the 'firsts' that took place in this home... her first smile, the first time she rolled over, the first meal she ate, the first time she crawled, her first swing in the tree in the backyard... and I left with a fondness instead of a 'get me out of here' attitude.

I still drive by that house sometimes. Your new home will grow to be as big of a part of your heart as the old one was. Give it time. Think of all of the new 'firsts' that you will have in this home... it's okay to be emotional!

Take a few pictures of the house and put them in a memory book. Write little comments of the things that were held or done here and there and let it go.

You have grown and matured and need a new space to live in. It will always be part of you but now it belongs to someone else.

I have fond memories of the places I have lived and some I want to go back to if possible. They were a place and a time and they are part of me. I only put roots down in Tucson when we were first married. It was so hard to pull up stakes and move but I did it and it will always be my home even if I don't live there again. Of course after these many years I would be lost as the town has grown and changed.

So it is okay for you to tear up and have a few "blue" moments about your house. You are normal and I would think otherwise if you didn't.

the other S.

We think of moving a lot and the more I look at "new" houses, the more I get attached to the one we're in. And we'd be moving to a "nicer" house. I think it's normal for anyone somewhat sentimental. It's like suddenly I LOVE our house. I think part of it is our kids are growing up and that tugs at me anyway so to leave the home where they were really little (despite not loving those toddler years) just magnifies the idea that they are growing up. It's like we'd be tossing all those formative years and the kids are growing up and that's so sad... So maybe you have that going on too. I guess only thing to do is be happy you have so many happy memories that moving is hard vs "those years were hell and I want no reminder ever again." And then remember moving can be exciting and embrace it bc at least you won't be stagnating... I bet hanging lots of old photos up in the new house will make it feel like "home" more.

selling our starter home and moving to the farm was a huge bucket of mixed emotions. i was really afraid i'd miss our little house, with all its wealth of happy memories, but i'm so happy at this place that it's impossible to be sad here.
but oh, how nostalgic i get when i drive by our little brown house! how we loved it.
my younger son was home for the weekend, and we were looking at fireflies and he was talking about how much he loved catching them when he was little. i asked if he was remembering his little boyhood at the little house or his tween and teen years here, and he looked startled and said 'oh, the little house!' like he was surprised i'd even ask.
i'm glad that you sold your house to people who love it. it's silly, i guess, but i found that SO helpful. the young couple who bought it had 2 little boys, just like us, and they're still there 15 years later!
:) khairete
S.

For me time has helped. It took us two years to talk me into selling our home and since it sold in less than two days, it was a whirlwind finding our new home. Unfortunately we don't love our new house but I no longer cry about our old house. I am able to smile fondly instead of crying over it. For me our first home was just that - the home we bought as newlyweds, my first home, the place we brought our babies home to, etc. Now, though, I can accept we made the right decision for our family. There were too many buts about our first home. It's okay to be sentimental and I think time will help get it all in proper perspective with less emotion. Good luck.

We lived in our first house for 17 years.
It seemed so BIG after moving out of an apartment.
But we grew, had a child, my FIL passed away and our house filled up with lots of his stuff and while we lived there we watched the whole county get paved over.
Traffic was horrible, we could barely turn around in the house, we were always working and never seemed to catch up on downsizing the sheer amount of stuff.
Then my husbands job transferred and we moved out into the country.
We have so much more room, a nice sized lot (3 acres), traffic is not nearly as hectic as it was at our old place.
We couldn't sell it to wipe out our new mortgage (we paid off the first house after 12 years) so we're renting it out until we can.
It was a great first home but we were ready for a change.
I imagine I'll shed a few tears when it comes time to sell it, but it's not 'home' anymore.

Take pictures, create a scrapbook. Take pictures of the good and the bad, that drawer that you always had to jiggle into place, that toilet that flushed a bit too loudly, the border wallpaper that you decided you were not too fond of, the laundry room that was overflowing, the window you had to replace when johnny threw a ball through it etc. It's ok to be nostalgic. You'll soon make memories in your new home.

Best,
F. B.

I get it. It took me several years to finally not mourn my first house where my first was born. Then I moved out of my second house, where my second and third were born and I mourned that one even more! I even moved out of state. I miss home so bad. life has dinged me a few times though, and it woke me up, helped me be thankful for what I had. In the end, the only thing that matters is the health of your family. Everything else is chaff ~