Moving and Transition

My son and I moved a LOT before finally settling down where we are now. The only thing I could do to help him was to lat him know that I would always be there with him, that I love him all the time no matter what and to keep MY rules and schedule for him the same. Yes, we lived with friends and family who had different rules. I learned that following their rules rather than mine confused him and caused issues. I finally had to talk to our hosts about the differences and agreed that my rules and schedule for him worked too and that we could compromise on things. Once things were back to "normal" with his schedule and rules, his behavior improved.

Stick to your guns and stick to what your boys know. Grandma and Grandpa should understand your position. Abiding to their rules and schedule is fine if it's only overnight or for a week at most. After that it gets confusing and frustrating for little ones. Especially if there are a lot of "don'ts" in their rules (like it was at my Mom's). If there are too many things your in-laws don't want the boys to do and they aren't willing to bend, then finding activities away from the house as often as possible helps too.

This may not help you but it really helped my son ( 2 1/2 at the time) and I during our recent move. Often during the day or before bed/naptime I would tell a story to my son as if we were reading all of the recent events in a book. I would try to make it sound like a big adventure and would start with "once there was a boy named......" and go into where he was born, how we decided to move, how we put everything into boxes and then the big men came and put it all on a truck, etc. And then I would go into how we got to Grandma and Grampa's house (we drove) and all of the fun and different things that go on there. Like Grandpa sleeps in his big chair, they have cats, they have an electric chair that you can ride from one floor to the other (and how he liked to sing the Wonder Pets song when he rode it and then sing the song), stuff like that. Then I would go into what was going to happen next and even ask questions about the unknown. In my case we knew that my husband was going to drive the car and at some point he and I were going to get on an airplane and meet him at the airport in our new home. We didn't know when that was going to happen because it depended on the movers. I did this A LOT! and somehow it became a kind of ritual for us and a fun way to remember the place we left and get into the adventure of where we were going. You may even want to get out some old costumes and make them into Captain Adventurers, anything to get them active and creative in what is happening. There is definitely going to be acting out and your patience is going to be tested so try to be as kind as you can to them and to yourself. Also, if the grandparents are up to it, go out cause it may be a while before you get to do that in your new digs. Hope this helps.

I know the feeling. We moved from IL to IA. Now in IA we are with my in laws. We were only supposed to be here for about a month, 2 at MAX. Now it seems we are staying.Long story. Anyway, all I can advise is to get a schedual. Even if it's not the same as before. Try to keep big things (sleep time(s), eat times) the same if possible. My kids still get up at 6:30 am, still nap around 11 or 12, still eat lunch before nap, still eat dinner at 7 when daddy gets home from work, Still go to bed at 8. However, now we spend most of the morning at the YMCA workng out and swimming, and the afternoon depends. I know living with others can be tough. Try to make your own time for you and your hubby, as well as you the hubby and kids. That is one thing we have kinda lost. Keep upbeat and happy as much as possible. As time goes on you will find a groove that works for you and your family. the boys will bounce back. They are resiliant at this age. Good Luck! You're not alone. I feel ya!

We are in the process of moving to Atlanta, so I know how you are feeling.
Schedules are so important at that age, so try to find one that works and stick to it. It may be different than before, but if you start a new one it will only take a few days to get into the swing of things again. Also, take advantage of the beautiful weather and get them outside as much as possible. This will help everyone involved!
As far as the move, they will read your feelings. So try hiding any anxious feeling and make it a big exciting adventure to look forward to. Talk about what your new house might look like, go on line and find all the fun things to do in your new area and make a little "book" with pictures and descriptions to look at and talk about. My oldest is so excited to get to Atlanta b/c of our little "tourist pamphlet" we put together. And, we emailed our pamphlet out to all our friends and family to invite them all to come visit us at our new home and see all the exciting things we are moving close to.
Good luck with your move and be thankful you are moving at such a resilient age for the boys!

I agree with the previous post and can't stress enough how your attitude will be their attitude. So, around them, you have to be really positive and excited about staying at your in-laws, about the move, everything. I have 3 little ones and have done 2 international moves in the past 5 years! We now in live in Dubai, and that was only after being back in Chicago (from England) for only 18 months. With every move, my kids have done really well (my oldest is 6 and youngest is 1), but, I firmly believe it is because of the positive attitude my husband and I display for them. You have to make it all sound fun and exciting and if you act like it's all good and no big deal, your children will do the same. Good Luck! I know first hand how difficult it can be but if you hang in there and try to relax and just go with the flow, your kids will, too!!! Easier said than done, but, you can do it!!!

Just do your best to keep some sort of a schedule. If you are going to be there longer than a month, then you really need to get a schedule and structure for them. Even if it is a different schedule, it is still a schedule. You need to also been relaxed (as hard is it may be) it will make the kids feel on edge also.

I can't even imagine trying to keep a normal schedule while living with the Grandparents. Schedules are so different once school is out and then to add that on top must be tough. My best suggestion is to get out of the house as often as possible. Go to the park, library, zoo, walk around the mall ...anywhere really. Just try to keep the boys as busy as possible. If at all possible try making a playdate with their friends from their old house. Give them something to look forward to ..like saying Friday night we will go out for ice cream or Saturday we will go out to breakfast. Plan something that the boys can look forward to. While you are waiting to move, you could make a scrapbook with the boys. You could make two small ones, one for each, that way they can keep it with them and remember old familiar things. Good luck!

I think one of the most important things is to be a good example for the boys. You may be anxious and stressed out about the move, but try not to show that. Be upbeat, tell them that they can choose a paint color for their new room, make it sound lake a great adventure and sound confident and happy about it.
Since the living arrangements with the in-laws are probably a bit more crowded than usually, I would try to spend a lot of time with the boys outside. Go to the park and the pool and do other interesting things that keep them occupied. And don't forget to take tons and tons of pictures. Every time I moved I had the feeling after that I should have taken much more pictures.