Moving and Going on Deployment

Hi P.,
Is there any way possible for you to stay where you are until he gets back from the deployment? My brother is military and he had gotten back from Iraq and was sent to another base to then be sent right back to Iraq. They had decided that his family will stay put instead of going through twice the adjustment with moving and him being gone again...this might help if you have an established support system in place...just an idea. Thank you for your sacrifice as well as your husbands...I know that it is extremely hard for you as well as him..keep your chin up and stay strong :) He needs you and the rest of the world needs him.
Warmly
C.

Hi P.! I have a 6,4, and almost 2 year old and we just completed another deployment. I laminated pictures of each child with Daddy and let them sleep with it, carry it around, talk to it, etc. We also drew pictures for Daddy and talked about him and what he was doing a lot. You can also video tape Daddy reading her favorite stories so each night she can listen to Daddy read to her. And she may be a little young for this one, but we keep a jar of "Kisses from Daddy" - Hershey's kisses and we have one each night until Daddy can come home and give us real kisses. Good luck!

My husband is also in the military and has been gone for the last 10 weeks to boot camp. We have 3 children together (ages 7, 5, and 2)although I know your situation is much different than mine, but I kinda know how you feel. My oldest daughter understand to the best of her ability what is going on and where Daddy is at. My son (5) understand daddy is "at work" but doesn't fully understand why he hasn't come home yet. My youngest daughter(2) asks where Daddy went and I just tell her daddy went bye bye but he'll be back. It seems to satisfy her. I also keep pictures up all around the house and he calls once a week and they talk to him. Along with this my oldest writes him letters and the younger two color pictures for him. My friend's husband is in the Air force and just got home from Iraq and while he was gone she would work with her kidson projects about daddy. Her youngest is about 18 months and so they made a place mat. She took construction paper and put pictures of daddy all over it and laminated it and used it as her place mat so that she could eat dinner with daddy. As for things that help out I know that I was told by all my friends with military husbands and kids that the best thing you can do is try to get involved with things in the area. Make new friends, find a hobby, get your daughter into some kind of baby and mommy class, and don't be afraid to ask people for help. I have amazing friends that don't mind me calling up and crying about how much I miss my husband. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now but try to concentrate on your daughter and remain strong cause she needs you to. Best of luck to you

When my husband went on a deployment in 06 I was 5 months pregnant with baby #2 we told our daughter who just turned 3 that daddy was going on a big trip. I was also separating from active duty myself and selling our home. After I sold our home I went and stayed with my mom. The other ladies have a good idea about being near family. I know it helped me out a lot. They have a website for the daddy doll. Its a very good idea too. My daughter slept with a framed wallet sized family picture.

I don't know if this will help or now, but my "adopted son" and his wife found it better for her to stay with the babies where they were instead of relocating. She was close to her family and they were able to help out with the kids and emotional support. It was also easier to not have to acclimate to a new environment and surroundings in addition to having to adjust to his being gone. That way you can keep your job, he will still get the military off base pay, but it will be for wherever he is stationed and be able to send that to you two to help you out with the cost of living. I know it is a difficult decision to make, but you can then move to where he is once he is back in the states.

Good luck, and please thank your boyfriend for serving his country!

Hi...my husband has been deployed before and we are also preparing for another deployment...but we do not have to move...anyway back to your question...I suggest strongly getting involoved with the local Family support group...thats what they are there for, they are great for social and other issues.

Jen H

I have not been through this, but when I was working at a preschool a little girl used to come in with a "Daddy Doll". It was a stuffed doll with a full body shot of her father who was in Iraq. She couldn't take her nap without it. I asked the mother where it was from, and it was Daddydolls.com. I went on to make sure it was still up, and they have separation tips as well as the dolls. Good luck and please thank your husband for defending this Country.

i suggest he gets a tape recorder and do a recording of his voice, telling her a bedtime story or singing to her, whatever their favorite thing is when they are together. Another thing he could do is take pictures of himself on a camera phone or a camcorder and you could put it on the computer in a video slide show.