Moms Group

Whenever a group of women are involved it gets cliche-y. If you are just there for the kids, then I would go to what you can. If you are looking for something for you too, and are taking it a little too personally, then you may want to look for another activity.

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I was in a playgroup (and was co-coordinator) for a couple of years when my daughter was a baby/toddler. NEVER would we exclude anyone from the playdates. There were some of us that would get together occasionally without the group, but nobody really knew about. All the playdates were scheduled through the playgroup website, which meant all members were included. I can't even imagine being the coordinator of the group and doing such a thing. They obviously don't care if you feel excluded, which is just plain wrong. I would send the coordinator an email asking her why you are being excluded.

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Sounds like a group of mean-moms! Find a better group.

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Yes, you are taking it too personal. Take it as a cue to quit and find another play group, one that you will actually mesh with. They are probably not your type anyway and you're probably better off without them!

1 mom found this helpful

If this is hurting you then the kids can feel it to therefore they are getting hurt to, find a better fit. There may be a simple explination to this. example again I say this alot but it is important to know My son is allergic to eggs, he was in a wee three program last year and I work during those hours so my sitter would take him, I noticed the few time I was actually able to take him all of the kids were inviting all the other kids to b-day parties, but my DS was NEVER invited to one. I could not figure out why, it hurt why single out my baby he is social and all the kids seem to enjoy his company. Then it dawned on me EGGS. They do not want to take on the responability of something happening to him in their home, duh right. So simple and trust me I was P.O'd and hurt. now not so much. He knew nothing about it. Plus most of the class was girls ewwwh a boy right kewties.

so I bet it is something simple, but you 2 need to be someware you will not feel like this. This year we are invited and I make the cake, the world is good again.

Good luck. and look in the mirror it is not you!!! It is them!!!

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Yep, been there, done that. I noticed moms group as so very clickey! It's like being back in high school again! Don't take it personally, try to meet moms based on same interest you may have a better luck there. I relied so much on these mom groups but when I joined I noticed the same set of women would attend each gathering and they would only talk amongst themselves (like in Clueless movie or Mean Girls movie but not as obvious). It was actually funny but they just feel comfortable with each other and let only certain people "in" their little groups. Eventually I met a few moms with kids my age but trust me, they were not from the moms group. I am not putting mom groups down, I am sure there are good ones out there and many moms found lots of friendship through this channel but I am just relating my experience. Maybe in another area it's totally different, in my experience, it was this way. Don't take it personally, they don't mean to hurt you, they just have strong preferences to who they let in. Good luck.

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I was in a group like this. The group was already established when I was invited by a member who was not as close with the other moms. I ended up moving anyway so it was a great excuse to quit, but had a not moved I would have stopped going anyway. I'd keep looking until you found a group you fit in with. It's very hard for a lot of us to insert ourselves into a group of people we don't know, so I hope you find one you click with. Good luck.

If I were you, I would let it go. Playgroups are generally about the parents and not about the kids.

This group of Mom's may very well be close friends. Sometimes people just click. If you like them and would like to join in more, initiate a meeting of the play group or initiate a MNO that is done with your finances in mind (they don't need to know). Then they just might not forget/leave you out next time.

Unfortunately, Moms Groups can be a lot like high school, cliques galore. A lot stems from when a mom joins. If she is there longer, she knows the people better and made connections earlier. And in reality, some moms just click better with each some than others (even though the kids not necessarily might... or they do because their kids do). Try and not take it to heart. Try this group a little more... there could be someone coming to an event that is new that you might really hit it off. Maybe pose to the organizer that XYZ sounded like a fun event, is there any reason all members weren't invited? She may have had a valid reason (space). Or host an event yourself... like a playgroup at your house or some other event. I was on the board of a local moms group for over three years. These organizations are on a volunteer basis. If you don't like an activity or a time or an expense, host something yourself... it's a great way to show interest and open up more as well. However, if they are going to be selective than they should do that offline and not through meetup. It probably wouldn't hurt to try out some other meetup.com groups to see if you are more comfortable and happy. Also, check out MOMS Club International (momsclub.org) for a chapter near you or MOPS can be great too. Good luck. It's really tough.

Maybe, you could host a potluck lunch at your house.

Good luck
J.

What kind of moms group are you in? I am in a moms group on meetup.com and the way it works you choose which meetups you want to go to, you can go to all of them or just a few, it's up to you.

Maybe you should leave that group and find another group. Check out meetup.com for a mom's group near you.

This happens in everyone's life. Some people are left out of the cheerleading squad, some people don't get invited to weddings (just happened to me/wasn't invited and was shocked and a little sad), it isn't taking it too personally, it's human. I suppose the best way to deal with this is to go if you want to the available things and be on the hunt for other situations where you will be happy. Ignore anyone who is not pleasant to you. I encounter situations where i am with people every single day who are an inch away from me who for one reason or another act like I do not exist. Then there are all the others who are warm and caring...gravitate to the people that are good for you. WE love you.

this happens in small groups. if there are 15 people in a moms group and someone decides to host a playgroup they cant invite everyone so they chose their few favs and that leaves new people out. Id go to meetup.com and join a larger group and avoid those issues