Mom Seeking Advice - Carteret, NJ

My best advice is to stop comparing your baby with others. That is a terrible trap. the other moms are probably looking at your DD's teeth and wondering if their babies will ever have any. All babies are different and develop at different stages. She might never crawl, just get up and walk one day. Maybe she is naturally cautious, or has no reason to try. A lot of babies dont walk till 15 months or even more. DONT rush her.

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Unless her doctor thinks there is a problem (and I would assume would have said something by now), I wouldn't worry too much. She will develop on her own schedule. All children are different and have different internal clocks. My first didn't walk until 13 months and my second stood up and ran at 10 months! When I used to worry about #1 not doing things "when the book said so" My mom would tell me "Everybody (walks, sits, rolls over) before they go to kindergarden - she was right. Relax and enjoy your daughter, she'll be running around in no time, I'm sure.

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My daughter did not start crawling until she was almost 11 months old! Now she's "flying" all over the floor and we can't remember when she wasn't crawling! Try not to compare your kids...easier said than done...but everyone is different. She will be fine...there is more of a concern if she isn't doing it after her 1st bday! Good luck! PS My daughter just got both her bottom teeth at 11 1/2 months!

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Hi S.
I am sure you have had her checked by MD and as long as MD says all is well, don't despair all kids walk, talk, etc at different ages even if they have the same environment. Comparing causes you more frustration than it helps.
My oldest didn't walk til 14 mo, younger son at 8 mo, and the twins at 12 & 13, but at 10 months one of the twins was not even picking her head up when placed on belly.She moved with her head on the blanket. OK I was concerned, and made a special appt with MD, but he said I would see changes in a month and I did. By the time she was a year old, she was cruising on the furniture, building confidence she walked a month later. Crawling is an activity that helps with reading skills so even when they start walking encourage games of crawling. Just a tip.
MD gave her no special treatment etc. He did tell me that she was probably a baby who was going to stay at a learning level til she learned the next one and then jump up, like walking up steps instead of using a ramp, if you understand. I found that to be so. Today she is in college and carrying a 3.8 GPA in journalism.
Trust you will see similar results
God bless you and your family
By the way Hope you are have a successful school year
K.

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Every child is different, so her brother's timeline is not a benchmark for when she should begin things.

Many children don't walk by ten months, and some kids don't like to crawl. I've seen some go from "scooting" to walking and skip the middle stages.

Children who are allowed to blossom on their own timetable and not pressured at all are often much more confident than those who are rushed before they feel ready.

It also sounds as though you feel in some way her reaching developmental milestones may be dependent on you; that's a lot of pressure to have on yourself. Think of your daughter as a seed; all the potential of what she will be and needs are already inherent within her, and you simply need to provide her with the correct environment (love, shelter, nourishment, freedom, guidance) so that she can grow and thrive. I planted lots of seeds in my garden at the same time; not all of them blossomed on the same day... I think this is true for children as well.

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My daughter (also my 2nd) was the same way. She didn't start crawling till about 11 mos. And then she was so fast that she really had no interest in walking. She barely walked at all until she broke her arm (at 16 mos) and had no choice but to walk if she wanted to get around. My son (my 1st) was walking at 1 and crawling at 9 mos. My doc told me that it was normal, and that some kids never crawl. They go straight to running. Good luck.

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My son was a bit slow to walk....and then he was running in no time and I have yet to catch up! (he's 5) Kids are all different and 10 months is way to early to be concerned....don't compare her to her brother...be patient.

Dear S., I am sure you are not doing anything wrong. All children are differet and do things at their own pace. I am told I walked at 9 months and my sister only started at 14 months. Just continue to love your babies. They do grow up so fast. I'm sure you have heard that before:-) My best, Grandma Mary

Hello S.,
I would have to remind you, as I'm sure you've heard before, that all children are different. They learn at different paces. You may see some children developing faster than your own child, but it is always best to let your child grow and learn at their own pace. Do not try to push her along in her progress. You are doing nothing wrong by letting her grow and learn at her own pace.

Good luck

Hi -- My son is going to be 14 months old in a few weeks and he just started to walk. At 10 months he was not fully crawling but doing the "belly crawl" everywhere. He could sit up on his own, but only if we put him like that. He had no desire to walk or stand as we tried to help him up.

And then it was like a switch. All of a sudden at 11 almost 12 months he got up and crawled on his knees, sat up by himself and pulled himself up standing. It was about a week ago when I saw him pull himself up and take a few steps. (How great!) and from that point he has been walking everywhere and getting better every day.

I was constantly comparing what he is doing to my friend's and sister's kids. I have since stopped that because I was convinced that something was wrong b/c he was not doing the same things at the same time as the other kids.
I have come to terms with the knowledge that they will do what they want, when they want to. I just encourage him and eventually he will get it.

Good luck!
R.

Here is some advice NEVER compare your kids with each other or other peoples kids. She is totally normal. Some kids dont ever crawl and just walk. some start early some late. I have 3 children and each one reached milestones very differently. They all are within range. And by the way, none of mine had teeth before 9 months.
enjoy your time while she is not mobile.
J.

My son didn't crawl until 11 months old, and didn't walk until 17 months. I wouldn't sweat it just yet. If he's not crawling by 1 year, then I'd discuss it with your pediatrician.
L.

Hi --

It's usually better to not compare two children. Each is his/her own person. Just because they are siblings does not mean that they will mature in the same ways at the same time. Comparing them out loud is not good for their self-confidence, either. Yes, they are listening even if you think that they aren't paying attention!

If you can encourage your youngest to learn to crawl, that is supposed to be good for the brain, especially for reading readiness, etc. (Better than being an early walker.)

If your daughter has 8 teeth already at 10 months, perhaps all of her energy has been placed on her poor gums! Sometimes children will delay working on one thing while they are preoccupied with another. As others have said, there is a range and I don't think your daughter is out of it yet.

Hi S.,
I think you need to stop making yourself crazy by stopping comparing your daughter to your son. She is not required to do things at the same time that he did, she isn't more likely to do things at exactly the same time he did as she is to do these things when other babies do them. If she did something at a younger age than him, does it mean something was wrong with him? Of course not!
You cannot make your child walk or crawl, it's not something you do for them - they do it when their muscle and brain development coincides at a time that is unique to that child, parents do not control it. When a baby crawls or walks early, it's not something that the parents get to pat themselves on the back for, it's the baby's accomplishment, not the parents. It's not something that we help them or train them to do, your daughter does this on her own. Babies don't need to be taught to crawl, walk, etc. There is a wide range of normal for when these milestones take place (getting teeth is not like walking or crawling, she has no control over that, it's not a developmental milestone). If you have genuine concerns over her development, bring them up to your pediatrician. He or she can tell you if your daughter is in normal range. Some babies do things later than others and are perfectly fine - I did not walk until 16 months old and I assure you, I am a perfectly normal 42 year old nowadays :)
Good luck!

Some babies just take their time doing things. What will
probably happen is she will crawl, stand and walk within a
short time period.

My friends son is 10 months old and he doesn't do any of those things yet either. I'd just keep trying to encourage her and give her every opportunity to move around as possible.

The normal age to walk is 12-14 months and some kids take longer. 10 months is very early for walking ... lots of kids walk then, but you shouldn't expect it. You should check out babycenter.com or some other sources of information so that you have a realistic perspective on milestones. Comparing her milestones in a competitive way is a bad habit you should try to break now, or you will drive yourself crazy for no good reason. I'm sure your pediatrician would not be the least bit concerned that a toddler less than a year old isn't walking.

Hi S.,

Don't worry, your daughter is just fine. Your son was very early walking at 10 months, and your daughter is just a different person. Children develop at their own personal pace: many kids never crawl, and typically start to walk anywhere between 10 and 15 months. If she isn't yet walking by 15 months, I'd start to worry, but until then just enjoy her progressing at her own pace.

If you really want to encourage her to walk (and she doesn't need much in the way of encouragement, since she sees everyone around her walking), just hold her hands, then just one hand. She'll get better and better balance, and one day, when she's ready, she'll surprise you.

Just relax, you're a great mom!

S.,

Kids develop at different rates, even among siblings, and the range of "normal" is large. Your son was apparently ready to walk at an earlier age than your daughter; it's nothing you did wrong. She was born wired to walk at a particular age regardless of whether you're home full-time or not. Considering the average age for a child to begin walking is 1 year, ten months is young so your son was actually the exception. My daughter walked at 11 months. She crawled for about a week then just got up and started walking. I worked full-time. Her four cousins all walked at 14 months and never crawled at all; their mom is an SAHM.

One piece of advice that will keep you sane during the next several years: avoid comparing your kids to others. There will always be children who are unusually advanced but they're the exception that proves the other kids are on the right developmental track. Childrearing is not a competition. The fact that your daughter has more teeth than the other kids is completely irrelevant. Relax, enjoy your kids and be assured that you're doing right by them. They'll reach developmental milestones when they're ready.

Oh my goodness,
PLEASE do not get so worried.
My daughter did not walk until she was 14.5 months and she didn't crawl until she was almost 11 months.
Every child does these things at their own pace and you just have to let them be themselves.
If you said that your daughter couldn't hold her head up yet or something that was truly a delayed developmental issue, I would say there was cause for concern, but she just wants to do her own thing at her own pace.

You are not neglecting her b/c you are at school.

Most people feel girls walk later in their development but talk a lot sooner and that boys walk sooner, but speak later on. I am not sure if that is all true, but so far it is with my daughter.
All will be fine. Don't get hard on yourself.
Just give her plenty of opportunities to walk if you can and have the room in your house. She may not be ready to let go and try it herself. She may feel better holding onto you still.
DON'T WORRY!! OK? ;)
P.

My daughter did not walk until she turned 16 months. My pediatrician recommended her to get evaluated at around 15 mos. She walked the same week she got the evaluation, and they said she was fine. Some children just take longer at certain things If you are concerned, talk to your pediatrician. I see a lot of free developmental testing being done in local communities like libraries. Have you considered taking her to a parent/child gymnastics or music class? Those are great to help inspire movement! Just keep holding her hand and walking with her. The early intervention people told me this is the best thing to do! Best of luck!

~Annie

FYI - My daughter also never crawled and just "scooted" across the floor!

Yes, it feels a little strange seeing everyone else's kid crawling, but don't fret. I have a 11 month old, who was the same and in one week he had a growth spurt, crawling, pulling up, standing up in crib, feeding himself with spoon. She is just content the way she is...let her take her time, when she really wants something, she will go after it. In the meantime, I would get on the floor with her crawling and demonstrating, she will have a tendency to do like mom. Also, having playdates with other children who already crawl help to encourage her. Good luck and be patient.

Best,

J.

Each child is different and I wouldn't push her. It is nothing your doing wrong if one child doesn't do the same things as another at the same time. It is all their personal experience and they all do and learn at their own rate. Relax and enjoy the fact that you still don't have to run to keep up!!!! A.

My son didn't crawl until right before his first birthday and then didn't really stand up and walk steadily until he was 17 months old. Now that he is almost 2, he is totally caught up and despite being small in size, is like any other toddler. He was also a second child.

Just some info about my experience that will hopefully ease your mind. I was concerned about it at the time and the dr told me not to. My kids have each had very different motor skills development paths but eventually ended up in the same place.

Every baby is different! Did you ask your doctor? I am pretty sure that there is a really wide range of "normal" for walking and crawling. Don't worry!!!

Please don't worry about it. I am a 34-year-old Ivy-league educated Mom who is in great shape. And I never crawled when I was a baby. I just sat on my tushie until I was 12 months old and then started to walk. Crawling is not a developmental milestone, but rather something that is fun for some kids and not so much for others. One reason your daughter may not be crawling is that she doesn't have great strength in her shoulders. Babies who sleep on their backs -- as they all should -- don't develop great shoulder strength unless they do LOTS of tummy time. Does she get tummy time to build up her strength? Of course, check with her doctor that she doesn't have stregth/bone issues, but most likely, she doesn't want to or need to crawl. Lots of babies don't crawl and turn out just great. (Ask my husband and kid -- they seem to like me just fine. :)

A major rule of parenting: Every child, even within the same family, is different. I myself didn't walk or talk until I was a year & 1/2 old (mom always said it was b/c I had nowhere to go and nothing to say). I never crawled, I rolled everywhere before walking. My daughter never crawled much either, but she took her 1st steps on her first birthday and never looked back. Don't force her, she'll go when she's ready.

no, it's not a problem at all. nowadays alot of kids don't crawl cause most of us have them sleep on there backs. my 16 m/o still can't actually crawl. he can drag himself across the floor but not crawl. my daugther never crawled until after she had been walking for months. it looks like my son never really will, that is until he's older and in to playing baby. it's not even considered a milestone any more. with the standing i think as long as she's doing it with assistance you're probably fine. she's still pretty young. i'm pretty sure a close friends daughter wasn't standing by herself at that age either and is now walking just fine at 15 months. chill out for the next 2 months and try not to stress. see how she does and if you still have concerns as her peds at her 1 yr appt.
hope it helped and good luck!
K.

As others have said, some kids don't crawl at all -- I was that way. It gave my mom a little extra time before she had to chase a mobile baby around the house. :) Babiees develop at different rates and your little girl sounds normal.

Dear S. - I read the other posts and not comparing is a good one. But I differ in that its important for children to crawl and you can help her. Put her on her stomach - which is very good for strengthening and toning and put something she likes in front of her that she needs to crawl to . There are developmental therapists who can help you. It does not mean that anything is wrong with her. and develpmentally its much better to have your child when she is ready pull up to standing and start cruising the furniture. Holding her hands and helping her to "walk" is not really helpful because she is not ready. You really do not need to rush things. It will be better for her and besides she may surprise you and just not moving around. How does she get to what she wants now? Do you give it to her ? put her in a room with fun things she likes but alittle out of reach. don't let her roll for it. Put her on her belly and see what she does. Can she pull her knees up under her? One child I worked with I put out blueberries and persuaded her to crawl after the blueberries. She was delighted to be able to get around.

Movement is really what makes young children feel good, but your daughter is not yet a toddler, though she needs to explore the space around her. Movement is really brain development which is why I say that its important to get crawling into their bodies. Its not the end of the world. But we all want so much for our children. Its great for them to master the literal building blocks of movement.
Good luck. and enjoy . C.

S. - It looks like you have alreayd received alot of sound advice. I can completely understand how you feel. My older child (a boy almost 4 years old) began crwaling at 8 months, furniture surfing the day after he started to crawl and was walking without assistance at 9 months. My daughter, who will be 14 months on Tuesday is still not walking unassisted yet. You are not doing anything wrong at all. When you have taken her to her well visits the ped checked her out and said she was just fine, right? Some children take longer to do things than others and typically boys develop gross motor skills faster than girls, girls develop fine motor faster than boys, again typically. As long as she is health don't worry and don't blame yourself. You are a great mom.

Oh, S., no you're not doing anything wrong. Every child is different just like we adults are so different. My oldest was walking by 10 1/2 months, my second son was walking by 16 1/2 months and my third about 12 or 13 months. Also, don't compare because your daughter is unique in her own way, she is her own person. Also, don't let her nor your son see or hear you comparing them to other children because they may grow up comparing themselves to others and really, they need to know that it's best to be an individual and they are special and unique.
Hope all this helps. And again, just be a mom and enjoy every stage of her and your son's lives. I am sure you are a good mother who loves her children.

There's no benefit in comparing babies and toddlers. One of my friends who is now a doctor and very brilliant didn't walk until 16 months. Walking too early can cause all kinds of accidents since they have no sense of safety at all. My daughter had a big black eye from stepping up on a book shelf and falling down. This happened in less than a second. These days someone could have called social services if they had seen that bruise! Be happy you don't need to spend every waking moment chasing after her. The time will come soon enough!