Lying About Getting Shots?

Updated on January 06, 2011
H.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
29 answers

this morning I am taking my 3-year-old in for a flu shot. I wasn't going to even say we were going to the Dr. until we got there. But husband spilled the beans. Knowing we are headed to the Dr. she ask point blank if she if getting a shot. I didn't lie, I told her yes she is getting one. Now I am dealing with her tears and anxiety. Just curious, do you lie about getting shots or tell them?

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I always told my son if a shot was coming.
Then I'd focus on what ever fun thing we'd be doing after the visit to the doctors.
Great magicians and mothers are masters at distraction.

6 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

My mom lied to me about shots and I still rememer how resentful I was to this day -- and she's not even alive anymore. To me it was a total betrayal and as I grew up I often wondered what else she was lying to me about. That's why I've never lied to my kids about shots. I dealt with the whining and crying rather than have them think I was a liar.

We were just talking about this the other day. My girls are 13 and 22. They now appreciate that I didn't lie to them, even though back then they were just frantic about the shots and hated me either way! lol

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

I never lie, ever! What a betrayal to a child who is old enough to understand and 3 is old enough to understand. I am taking my 4 year old for one of his shots this week and I have told him just about every day that he is indeed getting a shot.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't lie. They need to trust you. My 5 year old will ask if things will hurt (shots, going to dr, etc) and I always answer honestly.

4 moms found this helpful

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I tell them... I also tell my daughter that it will only hurt for a moment then I'll be there to help her feel better. NEVER LIE to a child, it will be hard to gain their trust again.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm up front and honest about it. I tell them they will get a shot, it wll hurt but only for a second. I talk them through it by telling them the more they tense up, the more it will hurt. I also bought those cute ice packs they sell for kids which my kids will use right after. It helps.

My kids don't stress about it as much anymore and focus more on the treat they will get after.

So....Make promises of ice cream after and take an ice pack =-)

3 moms found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I tell my son, who is 3. I have always been honest with him about shots, and he doesn't freak out, he tends to do well when he knows what to expect, even if its not something he is wild about. He would be more likely to lose it if the shot was a surprise.

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N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I always tell, but here's a funny thing. A couple times my son would cry hysterically before the shot, knowing it was coming, and as soon as it was done, the tears turned off like a faucet and he said, "That's it?! That wasn't so bad." So now we remember and joke good-naturedly about how when he was a baby he would cry after his shot, and then when he got bigger he would cry before but not after, and now he's big enough to not cry at all. He laughs about it now.

2 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Always tell them upfront and be honest, or they will fear going to the doctor all the time!

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M.P.

answers from New York on

Definitely tell the truth. My kids get anxious, too, naturally. But I think that's better than them learning that mom is going to lie to them. And I think they would be more hurt and scared finding out at the last minute.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

I don't lie if they ask. If they don't ask I let them find out at the doctors office.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'd rather not lie. Tell them, and explain as much as you can, comfort, etc. See if your pedi will work with you to help them not be sad/scared (like hug during shot, etc.) - whatever works. Tell her sometimes YOU have to get shots to help you not get sick, etc. Try to make it a teaching/bonding moment.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I always tell the truth about whether they are going to get shots or not.

You would have been dealing with her tears no matter what, at least she does not think you lie to her.

Stay tough...this too shall pass.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I don't lie to my child about shots, but I tend to be a little vague. If he asks, I tell him that I'm not sure and we'll ask the doctor when we get there.

Don't lie to your kids about this kind of stuff!

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I normally say "I'm not sure, we'll have to ask the doctor"; however, my daughter doesn't get upset over the shots (except for a few seconds as they are being given).

By the way, are you aware that this year the flu shot includes the H1N1 vaccine as well as the regular flu vaccine? They aren't telling you unless you ask (I am ok w/ the flu shot but not the H1N1 so we passed on that one this year).

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I tell. If they cry (and they usually do) I apologize that they feel scared and then explain that it has to be done, it will hurt for a moment and then it will be over.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Why don't you just get the mist that they spray up your nose? That's what my husband, myself, and my 3 year old did. It doesn't hurt AT ALL and it only takes three seconds to administer.

1 mom found this helpful

S.H.

answers from Spokane on

I always tell mine when they will be getting a shot. I also take along a sucker and give the 6 y/o his when he is done and the 2 y/o gets his just before and he is so distracted by the sucker he hardly notices the shot!!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I always say "I don't thnk you get any shots at the 3 (or4,5,6,7,8 so far) year check up......"
Then when the nurse says "Hmmmm....you need 385 shots today..." I look shocked and she's the bad guy and he hasn't stressed over it for any time prior to the appt. Works for me.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

DS is 5. I have always told him and oddly he has never gotten nervous and never cried. Not even his infant ones. Strange.

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I.*.

answers from Columbus on

I don't lie to them if I know they are getting the shot. Sometimes I really don't know if they are getting a shot so I'll say I don't know and remind them it only hurts for a second. My older two are done with shots until they are 12 so they are so excited about that!

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

I always tell my daughter (she is 3.5) if I know or tell her that it is a possibility (because I am horrible at keeping track of when they are due) - I remind her that it is for her own good, keeps her healthy, and will only hurt for a minute. We have the old Sesame Street Book "Farley Goes to the Doctor" so she understands what it means to get a preventative shot. We do not tell my son yet - he just turned 2. When he asks I will tell him the same thing... we do it in a reassuring manner and it is usually without tears or drama.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We always tell the truth. If you lie and say no they are not getting a shot and they do, they won't trust you anymore!!!!

I wouldn't volunteer the info before you get there, but if she asks--then yes! Tell her she will be getting one shot and prepare her for it. That is the best thing to do.

M

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

dont tell til.l. you get there

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I ALWAYS told mine. Not days in advance, that just makes them stress over it that much longer. But on the day of, I would tell them. I have always been one to give my children time to get a grip on themselves and mentally process things. They are like adults to some degree (although they are NOT little adults, lol)... they flip out when they first hear something upsetting. But after a few minutes to calm down, and think about it or be talked to or comforted by me or given a positive thing to think about (the ice cream afterwards, lol).. they are able to calm down and get a grip. And in the comfort of their own home and privacy. Instead of on public display in the doctor's office. How humiliating, right? Even kids have a sense of being embarrassed by "losing it" in public to some degree. At least mine did (and still do).

I also believe that if they don't know until they get there, then they may fear going to the doctor for ANYthing b/c they will always wonder if THIS time they'll get a shot too. And, in addition to that, it may make them feel (on a subconscious level) like YOU (their parent) is not in control of what happens to them. They may think that YOU didn't know either and that the DOCTOR is deciding whether or not to give them a shot. I think kids need to feel like their parents are superman and ARE in control. It helps them feel safe.

Don't lie to your kid. If you downplay it, they won't make as big of a stink. If you make a big deal out of it (and lying about it certainly ups the ante as far as if it is a big deal) then they will too. Give them some warning and an opportunity to ask questions about what is going to happen.

E.A.

answers from Erie on

I always tell them, with the promise to take them out for ice cream.

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M.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just say nothing till we get there!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I always tell them it's possible. I don't want them having anxiety but I also want them to be prepared in case they have to have one.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

no I don't.
I tell them what it's for and why we get shots and that it will hurt but only for a second.

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