Libido Question

Updated on January 25, 2009
D.T. asks from El Dorado Hills, CA
26 answers

I gave birth seven days ago to a healthy baby girl- easy delivery with no complications. I did have one small stitch in my upper vaginal area - not my perineum area. My unusual problem is this- my libido did not go away! My husband and I have always been very active- even during my prenancy up to the day before I delivered! My doctor won't see me to release me for six weeks....umm , that seems like a lifetime to wait! Not sure if anyone else felt the same? I have heard some girls having sex at four weeks- of course with protection. Any advice?

2 moms found this helpful

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

There is a reason they tell you to wait so you can wait it out and it should be worth the wait or go for it and if it causes problems or a tear you will have to wait longer. Patience is a virtue.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, LUCKY!!! While I'd like to be that horny, I'd definitely advise you to wait. It's a little soon to be putting anything in there. Do other things.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I was always very in the mood while pregnant. After my second child we fooled around at 4 weeks with no actual sex or penetration in the vagina. But we were both satisfied. Get creative - once the bleeding stops. You really do need time to heal - don't do anything until that stitch heals.

Lucky you by the way. I was no in the mood after my first until 10 weeks - then I don't even think I was in the mood - I just felt sorry for my husband. LOL.

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T.H.

answers from Chico on

yeah, i remember when six weeks did feel like a long time too. it isn't that bad. plus, theres other stuff you can do...while waiting to heal. we might have cheated around 4 or 5 weeks, but really, remember, if you do damage, you'll have to wait even longer. its best if you can just be very gentle with yourself. be creative~ massage can release a lot of tension. also, the wait makes it sweeter.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Stockton on

Don't do it. My husband and I did four weeks after and I had a puddle of blood. Gross!! I only had two stitches.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Six weeks is standard - you want to make sure everything is healed up before you start having sex again. I would listen to your doctor!

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R.V.

answers from San Francisco on

wow!!! could I have just a little of your libido. No fair when mine has dissapeared. Hang in there ,these weeks will fly by .

G.M.

answers from Modesto on

28 yrs ago my doc ok'd me after 3 wks. Just be careful of the infection thing, that's the main reason you can't do it. It will hurt a little too.

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A.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi! My appts were always at about 6 weeks. I would say to make sure to check with the doctor - better to be safe. Have you asked the doctor if you can have sex again before the 6 week appt? I have heard different things from different doctors in the past, so your doctor just might tell you that you don't have to wait the complete 6 weeks...or, maybe they can see you a little sooner. Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi D.,

I know how you feel; six weeks is a very long time, especially when you truly enjoy each other. Although the Dr.s say to wait the six weeks you can still have a sex life without penetration and the dangers of infection. There are a number of books and web sites that can help. I've listed a couple for you below.

Sometimes, I enjoy this much more than the the physical act itself. To me, sex without penetration can be much more intimate and bring you closer together as a couple as you learn what makes each other tick.

Anyway....good luck!!

CM

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/314b_love_tip.html

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/articles/venis.html

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Z.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi D.,
When I went in for my first post-delivery check-up, my OB said, 'We always tell people to wait 6 weeks, but it really only has to be until the bleeding stops.' Apparently the worry is that while you're bleeding your cevix is open and infection is much more likely. I think a condom is a grear solution, but please keep in mind I'm not a medical professional of any sort!

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M.R.

answers from Redding on

hi D., i was incredibly horny after i gave birth. i did have a second degree tear with many stiches,so sex was out of the question(we waited until 6 weeks), we got creative with oral sex and masterbation and it was lovely. if you are not in pain i think gentle sex is fine...maybe have your husband wear a condom so that you don't have semen inside you while you are still discharging. definitely always use birth control, i know of a woman who got pregnant 2 weeks after giving birth!!
have fun!!
M.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

You probably ought to let the stitch heal. Once that happens, if you're also not bleeding--it's your body. You ought to know better than the doc if you're ready. Good luck finding time, though!

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

On of the reasons for waiting is so the placenta site can heal. My husband and I waited only about 3 weeks but we used protection so that we wouldn't disturb the placenta site healing.

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G.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi D.!

How about getting a vibrator? Then you don't have to worry about penetration at all.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

D.,
It's been 7 days and you're worried about.....
Wow.
6 weeks seems like a long time, but not when you think of it in terms of your body healing after giving birth.
After all, it takes 9 months to carry a baby. In the scheme of things, waiting 6 weeks is not that bad.
You can be intimate without taking the actual "plunge" so to speak.
Your body needs time to heal without risk of infection or harming your girly regions. Men are visual and they can't see or most likely even think about what's going on INSIDE your body right now. You just had a baby and you may be feeling more in love than ever right now, and that's great! I've heard of men who are weird about sex because that's where their little baby came out of and they see it in a whole different way. Same thing with "boob" men.
You obviously love each other passionately, so 6 weeks in a lifetime is no big deal. I wouldn't risk the complications, but I was told I could never have children so I followed my doctor's advice on everything and got 2 babies in the long run.
That's just my opinion.

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Way to soon, listen to your doctor...

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O.G.

answers from Sacramento on

i would at least try to wait 4 weeks if you really can't make the 6. i will tell you i had a small tear with my first child that i thought no big deal...we had sex to soon and i tore again! i had to be re-cut and stiched up again so i ened up out of commission for almost 2 months becasue we jumped into to soon and to top it off it was very unconfortable for me that it turned me off from sex for awhile. i would wait and maybe just have some foreplay and help him out till you can join in.

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C.D.

answers from Sacramento on

ummm WOW! Have no advice except do wait at least 4 weeks and let your body get back to health...it is tramatic on your "woman-areas" and yes be very very sure to use protection as its almost 70% chance of pregnancy if you have intercourse directly after a birth I have 2 nieces and they are EXACTLY 1 Year apart, I am now raiseing them and talk about difficult!!!!
*unless your ready for the next one .LOL.

Happy Days till its time ;O)

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T.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I know 6 weeks is a lifetime but you really should wait. The reason is that your body needs to heal and right now you are extreamely prone to infection in the cervex as well as the uterus. If you really can't wait then you could try anal sex but I would deffinately stay away from anything vaginal for six weeks.

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C.R.

answers from San Francisco on

I asked a girlfriend after my daughter was born, if she had waited the whole 6wks, she said she didn't the first time but sure did after the second child. The reason was it caused her a horrible bacteria infection. Drs told her it was from sex to early, hormones, internal leasions etc. Good luck, I think at 4 wks your bleeding will stop and you'll be fine to go for it then. Good luck!
C.

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N.L.

answers from Fresno on

Hi D.,

Congrats on your new baby and still existing libido!! I know a lot of women don't want to even think about sex after a new baby, but it's good to hear there are some of us out there. I know 6 weeks sounds extremely long, but it will fly by, especially with a new baby to take up a lot of time. Definitely wait the 6 weeks for your body to heal. Just remember that, as my husband's friend put it, "a bulldozer just plowed through your playground", so right now it's under construction. Plus, since you and your husband are so sexually active, I'm sure you can think of plenty of other ways to satisfy your urge without actual penetration.

Again, congrats on your new daughter!

N.

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G.D.

answers from Stockton on

Hi D.,
Congrats on the new baby! My second child was born this past October....I had a C-section, and saw my doctor a few weeks afterwards for a check-up. At four weeks, he said protected sex was OK, as opposed to waiting 2 more weeks. My OB was fantastic...would your doctor be willing to see you sooner than 6 weeks post baby? Perhaps then he could check and maybe ok you for sex, of course everyone is different with healing time and type of delivery. I would definately check with your doctor first though.
On a side note, its so nice to hear of other moms/wives who still want intimacy with their husbands!
Good luck with the little one!
G.

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E.M.

answers from San Francisco on

So if you want to have relations soon.. Just take precaution and enjoy.. I did it at 2 weeks and really it wasn*t all that good but my husband didn*t mind since the old houndog was always willing and so was I.. I know have 4 grown kids and lived thur it.. GO FOR IT.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

There are other ways to make love and get the same result - The big "O". I would follow doctors advice and have fun other ways.

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E.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, that's great that you're in the mood! I was eager to get back too, we didn't have sex but "fooled around" at 3 weeks post-partum and my bleeding returned. You really do need some time to heal because your uterus contracts when you o. Take care!

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