Like one of the previous posters here said, I'm married for the second time, and I had the same issues with both the first and the second husband. Drives me crazy !!! I'm also a neat freak and cannot let things go, if I do, they just never get done and I just get more mad and have more work at the end...
It seems that I do everything around the house, which I actually kind of accepted and since I stay home and I like things done my way... so I'm ok with that, but it drives me crazy when I organize a closet or garage and then he can't even fold his clothes when done with them and put them away where they belong. He just leaves them on the floor in the closet, saying that he's going to wear them tomorrow anyway, so why put them away..... or I organize the garage, he does some work there and it's a mess all over again. Another thing that drives me crazy is when he takes stuff out of the closet, or garage, he doesn't put it back, he just leaves it laying there - needs a screwdriver, takes it out, then just leaves it somewhere without putting it back in the tool box - it makes me want to scream - PUT THE STUFF BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT....!!!!!.... my fist husband was even worst, he would leave his clothes laying right there whereever he would take them off, on the couch, in the bathroom, on the floor in the middle of the living room - at least, now they are in the closet.. ha ha
After reading all these responses here, I'm starting to believe that it's just man in general. They just don't see things the way we do, things that bother us, don't bother them and they don't understand why we get so mad at the things that we get mad at.
I have to say that my husband is a really good guy and he does help when I ask him, but it's like with a 5 year old, if you don't say it and don't give proper instructions, it won't get done. He's thinks it's important to read to the kids, so he's really good at reading to the kids every single night before bed time, so at least that's one thing that's done every night without a problem.
I think man that actually are helpfull and do things like they should are exceptions, and I trying to raise my son so he knows that he needs to help out. With my husband, I know I can't change him, I still get mad sometimes, but at least I get mad less, I know that I just have to simply tell him what needs to be done and when, not just to expect him to do it on his own.
Just lower your expectations, so you won't be dissapointed as much... lol
I just had my 3rd baby, so now I will need little more help, and so far my husband has been pretty helpfull (when asked and instructed what to do...), but he's going back to work next week, so we'll see what happens..
Sorry I can't really give you any good advice, but hopefully it will make you feel a little better knowing that you're not alone..... it helped me a little to write this and to vent out a little.....
Have a great day and good luck,