Kindle Fire for a 10 Year Old?!

Where are those ipod touches and moped gadgets now? Destroyed in a box someplace or still being used and cared for by her?
Does she take care of her things generally?
Is she responsible?
Is she a well-behaved, good child who gets good grades in school and is NOT asking for this simply because her spoiled friends have one?
Can you afford it?

I think if you answered yes to the above, I would be more inclined to let hubby get it for her. Most of my kids' friends (ages 7 and 8) have them. My kids don't, but as they are avid readers, we will probably get one for them in the next couple of years. They take very good care of their items.

I understand that there is a tendency to "buy" a child's love out of guilt over a divorce. I think that my husband and my SD's mom do that sometimes, so that might be what you're sensing.

My SD received an American Girl doll when she was 5. She mistreated it and it is not in very good shape. Now she's 10 and she has 9 dolls and she treats them wonderfully. She is working to save her own money so she can get her mistreated AG doll a new head. She should not have gotten that doll at so young!

Her mom also bought her an iPod nano when she was 7. Not only did her mom put Explicit Lyrics songs on it (nice, huh? The f-word in songs for a 7-year old!) but my SD LOST the iPod!

The next year she got a new iPod (age 8) and then at age 9 they bought her a laptop computer! She has unrestricted internet access at her mom's. She's not allowed to use the laptop here, I won't allow her to surf the internet without an adult right next to her. She already googled the word "butt" as an innocent 9 year old might do and you can only imagined what happened!

So I'm right there with you, I understand in your situation how gifts like that can be inappropriate for their age.

That being said, my SD has a cell phone (so she can call us at her mom's house if she feels unsafe) and last year we got her a refurbished iPod Touch. I wanted her to have an iPod here that we could control the songs on it and the games. I know at her mom's house if they got her one they'd let her put anything on it she wanted and she'd probably end up with R-rated movies and songs! And that would be MUCH less age-appropriate!

Is your SD a responsible girl? Does she take care of her toys? Or will this end up scratched and tossed to the side?

I would say that either way, there isn't much you can do except let time tell. I didn't think the iPod was appropriate and my SD lost it when she was with her mom. Her mom was so mad! I didn't think the American Girl doll was appropriate and she destroyed that (it was at her mom's house so no blame here!) I didn't think the computer was appropriate and my SD rarely uses it. She even spilled pop on it when she was at her mom's house. Now that she's older I see that she takes good care of her phone and her iPod Touch, at least here she does.

Your husband will be the sorry one if she breaks it or doesn't play with it. So I'd just say your piece, and then let nature run its course!

Good luck!

I think he's totally fine. Why not? You're going to think my husband and I have jumped off the deep end! We got Kindle Fire's for all 3 of our kids. They are 4, 6, and 8. My kids are respectful with electronics and the amount of travelling we do, these will be well used.

We also bought our 8 year old an ipod touch for her 8th birthday, a laptop for her 6th birthday, and she has a cell phone. There is nothing wrong with any of it. All kids are different. All parents are different.

Today the world revolves around technology. You can embrace it and help your kids manuver it, or you can run from it.

While my kids have a lot of electronics, they also have bikes, swingset, trampoline, imaginary toys, tons of books, more arts and crafts stuff than will fit in my house. They pick what they want to do and have options.

I don't think your husband is wrong here, I think you are may be a little upset about not having a say in what he buys his daughter over what he is buying his daughter.

ETA: I don't think something like this is trying to buy her love. He is getting her what is appropriate for her age. Not if she is as you describe, but several of your questions describe your difficult relationship with her, and I'm left wondering if you resent her.

I am sorry to disagree. Any child that is able to play any games on a cell phone is able to do the same stuff on a Kindle Fire. My grandkids that were adopted are 4 and 2 with one other child in the home that is also 2 and all 3 getting their own Kindle Fire's. I am going with a pad from Walmart for ours that are 8 and 5. They play with our phones all the time and they haven't hurt them or destroyed them. Plus if you get the warranty you get replacement options.

So, I think your 10 yr. old is plenty old enough.

I bought my almost 9 year old a nook tablet for xmas this year.

Its a brave new world

Tell him to score cool points with his daughter by doing something fun with her. Create a good memory. When I first met my bio dad, he took me to the mall and bought me an 8x10 of Andy Taylor of Duran Duran and hung out at the record store with me. (I realize the words Duran Duran and Record Store totally date me.) I loved it.

Instead of a material item, he could take her out to an age-appropriate movie she'd like to see or get tix to an upcoming teenybopper concert or musical (buy three so she can bring a friend). Or tickets to a museum show she might be interested in. Some museums have great, kid-friendly shows like the Tombs of Egypt or other themes. Those sorts of memories do last a lifetime.

I have a tomboy almost 10 yr old , She is getting science kits from Hobby Lobby and a telescope for christmas.

I would NOT get her a Kindle Fire.
1) too expensive
2) it's Kindle I don't like kindle you can only get books from Amazon.com for it

He's spoiling her , trying to make up for the divorce with his first wife possibly.

My ex husband is the same way with our daughter. I don't understand it. But, since we are now ex's I can't say anything. My daughter is 9 - and this year I did get her a generic brand reader/tablet. She will use it to read, play games, watch movies, etc. I would never get her a high end one though.

Age Appropriate varies quite a bit between children, even of the same age, and ESPECIALLY between different sets of parents. There is nothing, but nothing, that is age appropriate for all children at the same age. Pick any example and I can give you a whole host of children it either is, or is not, appropriate for.

Would *I* give a 10/11yo a Kindle Fire? Sure. If she likes to read, it's an entire library she can carry around in her pocket.

Even a 2yo learns what things are toys and what things are not toys (do you let your children use glasses? Or do they just throw them on the ground like a ball? They learn very early on that balls are for throwing, and glasses are for drinking. How many times have they broken your TV by climbing on it? But I bet they climb on other things. The kindle Fire is actually a response TO children's books. Adults don't "need" color (although we rather like it)... but the NUMBER 1 COMPLAINT about Kindles and Nooks? You can't read children's picture books on them. Because they weren't in color. And now, that #1 complaint: that children's books can't be read on them... fixed. Even most of the commercials show them with kids' books on them. Because they're being marketed to parents for their children (and themselves). When a bike costs $300... a choice between a color eReader and a bike is pretty even. Meaning if an adult will shell out a couple hundred for a bike, they'll shell out a couple hundred for a color eReader.

Another thing to consider... while you may be 100% correct that your husband isn't thinking of things she'd actually like, but is just scoring points (although it's hard to score points with something they don't like)... a trap that a LOT of parents fall into with kids that have a large age gap between them (like 10 & 5) is EITHER dumbing down the older kid, and not giving them their due... OR expecting that their younger children act older than they are. It sounds to me like you're doing the former... judging your eldest by way of your younger children.

my 7 year olds are getting kindle touch (cheaper version). they love to read. i love to read so we will all have our reading units. i can see your point about it being expensive and having only one gift to open. you may explain that to your husband that if she gets a 200 + gift and that is the limit per child that is all she is getting. remember one thing, you will always be told you are being mean because this is your step-child. i don't see it that way. i think your reasoning is true. but another thing you said your input doesn't count for much. there lies the problem. your input should count equal.

My daughter is 11 and we are buying her the Kindle Fire for Christmas this year. I think it all depends on the child. Our daughter loves to read and we spend a lot of money on books. I figured the Kindle would be cheaper for me in the long run because she can download books to it.