39 answers

Kids Watching Videos While Eating Out??

This is the second time that I have seen his recently. Tonight my family and I went out to a favorite mexican restaurant, and while we were eating another family sits down and pulls out their portable DVD player for their 3 year old to watch while they eat dinner. I was really shocked and saddened, and wondered why it was really so difficult to sit and eat out on a patio on a beautiful evening without the tv on!! Let me also add that this restaurant was casual dining, so the food didn't take a long time, and the restaurant was very kid friendly. I mean I guess this is the result if people are used to eating with the tv on at home. I just don't get it. Thoughts?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well... some of you Mamas certainly put my in my place didn't you...? Holy cow... talk about judgmental.
I do appreciate the insight some of you so kindly provided. You never do know what the family dynamic is like or what the situation was, and I did base my opinion on the scene I saw... to me it *appeared* to be an easy way to shut off this little guy while eating dinner. He didn't appear to have a disability (I worked for many years with people with disabilities and know you can not always tell by appearance), he didn't appear to be a difficult/hyper (etc) child who had trouble behaving in public. He didn't have headphones and from sitting to leaving the video was on. It wasn't turned off when the food came or while he ate, and there was no interaction from the parents with him. It's not like they were watching with him and there was any engagement. He was just plugged in.
I just have different expectations I guess... sure we take a wooden tic tac toe game to play while we wait for our food sometimes, or we take crayons or some other quiet toy to play with. I'm not even really opposed to hand held games while waiting. But when the food comes there are no toys at the table... for anyone. I don't text or talk on my phone either.

When our kids were little and not able to sit quietly in a restaurant, we just didn't go or we ordered in. Or if we had to go and they had a hard time, we went outside. We had no family close by to watch our kids,and didn't use a sitter in those early years. Those of you who said, I should be grateful that they did it to keep their child quiet for MY SAKE are missing the point. My statement about it being sad is that meal time should be a time for interaction and not tuning out, especially at young ages.

I think that we all judge from time to time, without thinking of what ALL the extenuating circumstances could be... I'll certainly be careful in the future about the questions I post and how they are worded.

Featured Answers

Those parents are the SMART and considerate parents! Been there, done that.

Not everybody has a million family members or trusted babysitters so they opt to get out and take their kids with them. I've done it and it allowed us (well more ME) to get out. As a SAHM you get a little nuts and if a DVD PLAYER is going to allow us to go somewhere that doesn't have FRIES as their main menu item I'm taking that dvd player with.

I just charged it up for the possibe traffic issues for a trip to the Milwaukee Zoo. It's amazing how much safer my drive is if I don't have my son kicking the back of my seat telling me to "just get there MOM!"

11 moms found this helpful

I'd like to give people like that the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they all had a rough day/week and that was the only time they could go out to eat w/o the trouble of having to find a sitter and maybe their kid really is ill behaved. Maybe they were already planning to go out and the kid was being rewarded for being extra good that day. Or maybe they are just lazy parents. Who knows.

But I am with you. I can't stand that some kids have learned they have to be sitting in front of some screen in order to be expected to behave.

I'm scared for my kid b/c his peers are being raised in front of a screen and have no clue how to develop or keep a friendship or relationship. These little kids have no clue how to interact with one another w/o it being black and white. If they want something, they HAVE to have it, or else they say "I want to go home" or "I'm not playing with you anymore" and I have to move Heaven and Earth to get them interested in playing something with my son that doesn't have to be plugged in.

6 moms found this helpful

I'm sorry that is the "lazy man's way of parenting". They are using that as a babysitter instead of interacting and keeping their child occupied for the what...10-15 min it took to get their food? I'm sorry that is what is partially wrong with today's kids, it's easier to give in to them to keep them quiet then to interact with them or be a disciplinarian. If you start with how to behave at home then it will roll over to when you are in public.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I'd rather they put a DVD in front of them than listen to the kid scream, yell, run around, throw things, bang on the table, etc.
To those who say they should have gotten a babysitter if they didn't want to "deal" with the child(SweetChaoswith3)...Not everybody has a babysitter to use. Have you ever moved to a new city where you didn't know anybody? Or had a sitter cancel on you last minute? Or been on vacation? Maybe they needed to be out of the house for some reason & don't like fast food. I know after a long day at work (or after I had moved or been traveling) the last place I would want to go is Chuck E Cheese or anywhere with a playground. I don't believe every family meal out has to be at a "children focused" restaurant. I'm not saying it's okay to bring kids to an obviously adult focused/children not so welcome restaurant (like Ruth's Chris), but there are plenty of restaurants that are not geared toward keeping children entertained that should be okay to go to on occasion.
On a side note...(not meaning to attack, but give you something to consider)
It seems a lot of people look at a situation, take in a few FACTS, complete the story with assumptions, & then pass judgement. Do you think that's fair? You ASSUMED this family ate in front of the tv every night & you judged them for it. Did you overhear them talking about eating in front of the tv at home on a regular basis? Maybe they don't have a tv. Maybe they eat out every night. Did the child address the adults as "Mommy" or "Daddy" or other parental term, or did you ASSUME they were the child's parents? If not, maybe they were relatives or family friends who were taking the child out for whatever reason & they brought the DVD player along to keep the child quiet. I have friends who took their godson out to dinner (so the parents could attend a wake) & they brought their iPad to keep him entertained. That doesn't mean the kid was given his own iPad or that he was always sitting in front of the tv, computer, or video game.
Maybe next time you find yourself passing judgement on someone, especially strangers you know nothing about, you'll ask yourself if you are doing it based on facts or your own version of the situation.
That's what I think.

13 moms found this helpful

You just cant win these days! Someone is always judging you as a parent! I havent brought (or even bought) a portable DVD player, but man the last few times we went to lunch with the kids, I sure do wish I had one. All kids are different, and some will sit there nicely and some just will not no matter what you do. I have a 4yr old who has always been pretty good in a restaurant, played with a small toy at the table or the crayons they pass out, but then I had my second and boy is he different. He throws everything and whines and crys if he's in a highchair (and this can be before/during or after he eats!), so much so that we had vowed to "never take him anywhere ever again!" But that just isnt realistic and it isnt realistic to call a babysitter everytime you want to go out to lunch. Especially on a "family day", you shouldnt have to send your kids home to a babysitter for meals because some non-understanding person thinks you are a terrible parent for bringing an electronic device into the restaurant to keep your kids calm for a bit. Let me tell you, when my 16 month old is throwing toys and crayons and whining we get the same judging eyes from other people, so really we just cant win. But I'll take the quieter version of the judging and at least enjoy my salad!!

BTW: I posted a question asking for reco's on a good portable DVD player so if anyone has a good one, let me know! thanks! ;)

11 moms found this helpful

Those parents are the SMART and considerate parents! Been there, done that.

Not everybody has a million family members or trusted babysitters so they opt to get out and take their kids with them. I've done it and it allowed us (well more ME) to get out. As a SAHM you get a little nuts and if a DVD PLAYER is going to allow us to go somewhere that doesn't have FRIES as their main menu item I'm taking that dvd player with.

I just charged it up for the possibe traffic issues for a trip to the Milwaukee Zoo. It's amazing how much safer my drive is if I don't have my son kicking the back of my seat telling me to "just get there MOM!"

11 moms found this helpful

I think you're being judgmental.

I've done it. Will continue to do it. I have been complimented by waitstaff and fellow diners about what a good idea it is and how well-behaved my child is.

Oh, yeah. My son is Autistic and non-verbal. I have also been praised by several of his therapist for how easily adaptable and fairly social my son is. I credit some of that to the fact that we've never been a "shut in" family. We've taken him out to new places and try to make sure he has a variety of distractions and entertainments so he can find his calm no matter his surroundings.

I work hard as a parent. If I need a few minutes so I can read a menu, place my order and actually eat my food while it's hot, I'm not going to apologize to anyone for using a few electronic conveniences to make that possible. People who are quick to judge others over such things is what shocks and saddens me. I think compassion and consideration are important qualities to instill in our children.

**** ETA ***** I don't think you had any difficulty with the wording of your question. You made an observation of a family which "shocked and saddened" you. Then you made an assumption about what this might say about their home life (eating with the TV on at home) and then, perhaps your only "mistake" with word choice, ended your post with "Thoughts?" People have shared their thoughts. It appears, from your so what happened, that you would rather defend your judgement of the one specific scene and claim "everybody does it" as an acceptable excuse for your judgement. Yes, everyone makes judgments based on the superficial details at any given time. Sometimes, when provided with more details or possibilities, some people will revise their opinion, or at least open their mind a little wider. Others simply seek like-minded folks and barricade themselves in their pigeonhole of thinking, happily ignorant of the complexities of the world. Which was the purpose of your post here?

11 moms found this helpful

I would rather sit next to a family with a DVD player than one with an unhappy screaming child who thinks the table and chairs are a jungle gym. Although I probably wouldn't notice because when I'm out to dinner, I'm paying attention to the person/people I'm with, not the ones around me. I don't see how it's any of my business what others are doing or how they choose to raise there kids. I sure as heck don't want people telling me how I should live my life or raise my kid.

10 moms found this helpful

When my son was at the "can't sit for 10 minutes til the food arrives" stage, I saw another family with a DVD player n the table and my first thought was "a stroke of genius!"
Don't be so quick to judge. For all you know maybe the only time these kids watch a movie is every other week at a restaurant, right?

9 moms found this helpful

We do NOT watch TV at home while we eat-- but at home he's not going to disturb a whole roomful of judgemental diners if he gets bratty!

9 moms found this helpful

**ETA: I've since read through some other responses. A couple people were a little....."proud" to say that their children would never have an electronic device (why? because it distracts the child, keeps them occupied, where they can behave?) but they DO bring in toys or activity books (why? because it distracts the child, keeps them occupied, where they can behave?)...Same thing. Your child isn't magically spending "quality time with the family" while coloring or doing mazes any more than the child that's watching Cars. I know, because my kids do the coloring and hot wheels or finger puzzle thing. Like I said, my children don't bring one in but we only have the kind that straps up in the car, and only for long trips (my trips to see family and friends.....the CLOSEST people are 5 hours each way. My mom is 17 hours away. My bff and our rental property are 21.5 hours each way, not counting stops. YES we play lots of observation, word, and story telling games, and we have magnetic everything under the sun. But we also put in a movie or children's music videos on those trips).

No, my neighbors do that. They told me just yesterday (which I was kinda surprised at...I wouldn't do it, but then again we also don't do the videos in the car unless the trip is more than 4 hours each way). I know for a fact they do NOT watch TV at home during dinner time. But we were talking about going out to eat, and I said we've cut down on restaurants a lot, partly because our youngest only has a 20-30 minute "tolerance" for restaurants (he's 20 months old and we were talking about a nicer steakhouse, which unfortunately takes a good 20 minutes to get the food served). He said they go (their kids are the same ages) but they bring the little DVD player and sit off away from others if possible. They do it ONLY when they eat out. And it's to keep the kids happy so they can have some adult conversation 2 nights out of the month that they go out. Otherwise, I know how their family runs (very similarly to ours) and dinner time at home is "family time". I just wouldn't do the DVD thing...."just because" (old fashioned?) although I never had issues with taking them to Mr Gattis to watch cartoons and Little Rascals on the giant TV while they ate salad, pasta, and pizza. I suggested to him that we could do a sitter swap, because 2 nights of "grown up dinner" is not too much to ask. He thought that was awesome.....so now he can leave his children with me and I'll serve them dinner once/month, and we'll leave our children with them once/month, so we can have a "dinner date". Try not to judge people on what you see......sometimes, you have no idea what they do at home, just based on what they do out. Yes OUR kids love mexican food, and will happily munch on chips, salsa, and queso until their food comes. Other children just DON'T CARE; they don't want to be there or might act up for whatever reason. It's nerve racking and the portable DVD player may just be their crutch. I wouldn't judge, as long as the volume on the thing didn't disturb me. I have MUCH more distaste for the romantic nights on the patio at a lovely restaurant, candles everywhere, and seeing another nice couple, about our age, get seated next to you and after ordering drinks, each pulls out their iphones and starts texting happily....in silence.....the WHOLE TIME. That's pretty sad, and a lot harder to understand.

8 moms found this helpful

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.