How Do I Get My Toddler to Behave While We Are Dining Out?

Updated on March 31, 2008
R.W. asks from Shippensburg, PA
24 answers

We don't go out to eat at a nice restaurant because my toddler won't sit still. He tries to run around and hes way to busy to eat. He can be loud and yell. Its embarrassing. What can I do?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the suggestions. I liked all of the ideas. I will practice table manners and make him sit through meals here and get him ready for eating out. Thanks!

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Bring bribes. Toys, crayons, candy. Whatever works. Try to relax about it. It's hard to expect little kids to sit still through a meal - expect to be interrupted, and just go with it. I bring a coloring book and candy with me. It's not the most nutritous, but for every bite of "real" food, my son gets 1 smartie. Etc. It makes it a little easier. He's only 2. My nieces are 6 and 4 and don't sit nearly as nice as he does. Whatever gets you through it peacefully is worth it, in my opinion.

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L.W.

answers from Scranton on

My son often sleeps at my mother-in-laws and she has one of those couch to bed things for when he is there. As far as something to play in though I have no answers for you sorry.

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L.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi, restaurant manners start at home. (Forgive me if you are already doing this) Be sure that at meal times he needs to sit for the entire meal, whether he has finished eating or not. If he is not used to sitting for an entire meal it will be a struggle at first, but talk to him, tell stories ask questions. If at home he is required to sit even after he has finished eating, then it is not a far stretch when you go out. Also be sure to bring lots of toys, coloring his favorite action figure, to keep him engaged during your meal. I would start with places like Applebees, which is already kind of noisy but not crazd and all about playing like chuck e cheeses. Your child needs to live in your world not you in his. Just like in the rest of life with him. If you show him what is expected of him he will flourish. It may take time but love, patience and a well stocked bag of tricks will have you eating in nice family freindly restaurants in no time. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's best to keep family restaurant outings to casual places until the kids are older. Go to family-friendly places. For dinners out at a NICE place--leave the kids at home. I've found that the stress makes it not worth going!

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

Have you gone to Red Robin? I love it! We always bring a balloon to the table with us, which keeps my kids occupied until we order. Then, I ask them to bring the cantaloupe (or you could ask for french fries) immediately. By the time they loose interest in the balloon, the cantaloupe is there. There are other decorations (blimp, robin, balloons on the ceiling) that keep the kids distracted as well. Plus, there are always tons of kids there, so if your child starts to get a little noisy, its no big deal. The food is generally quick as well. All in all, we seem to have an enjoyable meal when we go there.
A trick for other places: bring a couple of toys. And, tell your child that if he behaves, that you can do something special afterwards. After dinner, sometimes we will go shopping, to the park or my parents. It just gives my toddler something to look forward to.
Another thing I do is make my son ask to be excused from the table at home (he turned 2 in October). After he asks, then I ask him if he is done with his milk, his food, and then remind him that if he says yes, that is it. No more to eat or drink for the night. It has worked for us. I also make sure that my husband (and guests) stay at the dinner table until everyone is done eating. One of the reasons he wants to get up is because other people are doing things he wants to do. If everyone is at the table, your child will be more inclined to stay there.
Hope this helps and good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Reading on

I think you're expectations are too high if you want a toddler to sit at a table in a "nice" restaurant without losing it. Keep in mind that you have only a small window of time in which he is going to physically be able to sit and go places that fit that window. Otherwise, get a sitter! If you take him somewhere nice and spend the entire time disciplining him and getting annoyed with his behaviors, you have wasted the money anyway.

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Saltines and fruit snacks works for us. His lepster game...a small toy...WE had alot of issues with dinning out so we did buffeets for the LOGEST time.
This age is hard for that at times.

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J.M.

answers from Erie on

Play restaurant at home! It's fun and teaches him how to behave.

Teach him how to eat at the table every meal. He should never be allowed to get up at home until he is done.

I wouldn't take him out again until you've trained him to behave at the table. It's embarrassing for you and unpleasant for the people around you. (Been there, done that! ;) )

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D.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

You could bring a portable DVD player and reward good eating with a DVD. Since your child will probably be done eating quickly, you can then enjoy your meal at a slower pace while your kid watches TV.

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D.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Did you try a little backpack filled with figurines, stickers, paper, and crayons? My daughter loves to bring her backpack with us. It keeps her busy for a pretty long time when we are out.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi R., Isn't it fun to have a toddler around? They sure do keep you hopping!! My suggestion is to not even try to go to a "nice" restaurant until he gets older. Keep on working with him on manners at home and everytime you do go out, but when you want to go somewhere really nice, save yourself the agravation and just get a babysitter and enjoy some time alone with your hubby! :-)

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R.M.

answers from York on

Taking a toddler to a nice restaurant is a contradiction in terms! He can't sit still and be quiet, why try to make him? Save those nice places for you and your husband. One thing my sister and I did with our kids is let them get down from the table. This was at Red Robin or Fridays type of restaurant. We'd explain they could go visit anybody at our table (grandma, aunt, cousin), they could crawl under the table or chairs, pop up at will, see what everybody had to drink, etc. If they got to explore they were happy. We would always have people at neighboring tables who would invite our little ones to visit them too. The kids would need to get our permission, had to stay at that other table in eye and earshot, and come back when they were done. It was great!

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Not to be funny, but don't go out to eat until he learns proper dinnertime manners. We didn't take our oldest out intil she was about 4.5 because she was downright embarrasing and meal time was miserable. Takeout works great or save those nice restaurants for "date nights" with hubby and no little people in tow! Good luck!

J.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

R.,
Not to sound mean, but why would you want to bring a toddler to a "nice" restaurant? If you want to eat somewhere nice, hire a babysitter and enjoy the time alone with your husband/boyfriend. If you want to teach your toddler how to behave in a restaurant, start with teaching manners at home, and then try a family friendly restaurant at an earlier time...once you are confident that your child will behave, you can try the nicer restaurants. Try to think of the other patrons in the restaurant....there is nothing worse than going out for a nice romantic evening away from the kids, only to find a screaming toddler at the next table.
J. W

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Gotta love toddlers. Bring a bag of toys, coloring books and anything else you can fit in a small bag he would like. That way he has something to keep him busy while your at the table. With mine I take him for walks while we are waiting on food or the bill. Sometimes just a walk to the bathroom to wash up or so an older sibling can go to the bathroom can help settle them.

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A.J.

answers from Erie on

A word of advice to any parent: Practice behaviors at home. Pretending to be at a restaurant at home will give the children some idea of what is expected. Not just restaurants, churches, shopping, etc. Reward good behavior, ignore the child when they have misbehaved at home. I always told my children that I loved them every day, how proud I was when they did well and just for being them, but let them know that I was not happy with their behavior so didn't want to play with them (for short periods of time). I always followed an appropriate punishment with an expression of love. I may have been wrong but it worked at the time.

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J.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

You're brave for going out to eat anywhere nice with a kids those age :-) I have a 3.5 year od and 14 month old. We have the rule at home that they have to sit at the table for all meals until they are done. It helps at restuarants but like others have said, we rarely take them to a nice restaurant. We never let them run around a restaurant though, we just wind up taking turns eating if they're having a bad night. Good luck

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

This can be a tough one. If you are not doing so already, the first thing that you need to do is to insist that he behaves during meal times at home. This includes making sure he stays at the table in his chair and not act up or scream. It will not be easy but it is necessary. Table manners are an essential skill that all kids need to learn. Now is the time to be patient and teach your toddler these manners. The older he gets, the harder it becomes to teach him these essential behaviors.

I have three kids (7, 2, and 1) and they behave very well in a restaurant because I insist on it at home as well. I had a similar problem with my oldest. But now that I insist on it, my 7yr old and my 2 yr old are not allowed to get up from their chairs until they ask properly to get up. Now, my 2yr old knows how to ask to get up because of seeing his sister do it and with me teaching him. If yours doesn't, you need to teach it to him. He will resist, but you are the one in charge and you need to stand firm and not give in to him. The more you give in to his wants, the more he will take advantage of you.

Another thing that will help is for you and your husband to sit at the table with your kids to eat. Once you insist on this behavior at home, it will be easier to insist on it in a restaurant or at other people's houses.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I bring crayons, a matchbox or 2, snacks, a book, little things to occupy them. But, in all honesty I don't take my 3 year old out to eat often, and not it if isn't a very family friendly place. If I want a nice meal out, the stress of trying to keep a toddler calm ruins the evening for me as well as most around us. I have accepted the fact that for now I either need a sitter or don't go to nice places...

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

My eldest acted out (horribly) only once in a restaurant. she had been dining out with her Grandmother since she was 2, and was able to order for herself by 3. But those were times when she and Grandma went together and she got LOTS of attention for being so "grown up". . .the acting out happened when she was around 6.

she was horrible, we couldn't get her to settle down, so we took her outside, and that was that. When she calmed down, she could come back inside, and if she didn't, she (and an adult) stayed outside. It was embarrassing, but it never happened again.

I agree with the parents who recommend eating at an active place with your toddler. And when you eat out, be sure your child is getting a ton of attention for GOOD behavior. McDonald's isn't my favorite eating place, but sitting there with a milkshake is kind of nice, cuz means the child can play in the play area while you talk. But even at McD's, we required our kids to eat nicely. If they did that, then they could go play. It's a great reward, while you allow time to practice good public eating manners.

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H.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

The only thing I can recommend is get used to eating at Chuck E Cheese and other kid-friendly restaurants for a little while and save the nice places for when you can get a sitter. He will grow out of it soon enough, but my experience has been the more you try to squash the attention-getting behavior, the worse it gets. Good luck!

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E.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When you find out, let me know. My 2 1/2 year old's nickname is Genghis Khan because he can be such a terror. I have 3 kids (7, 5, and the toddler) so what we do on those occasions when we want to eat out is go to very family friendly restaurants like Eat & Park or to louder restaurants like TGI Friday's or Chili's. As far as the running around, I've resigned myself to occasionally having to wait to eat while my husband and the other 2 eat, then he takes over keeping Genghis in line. Just keep saying this over and over "It's only temporary, it's just a phase!!"

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C.H.

answers from Allentown on

put him in high chair, don't go during busy time, get his food asap, bring crayons and maybe skip the nice for a bit and go more family oriented applebees, etc.

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H.F.

answers from York on

For my boys they are 4 & 6 but crayons and a coloring book works for them. They love when mommy and daddy color with them. Also I always have little surprises in my purse games pictures ect....

Good Luck to you

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