Just Not Enough Hours in the Day

Everyone has said some great things - keep in mind we all go through it too. Try looking at the website www.flylady.net. Some of the things may not apply to you, but she is great about breaking things down. I think the little changes I've done b/c of her have helped the most. She's been a saving grace for me. Good luck!

If you have the financial means, maybe you could hire a mother's helper. I have one who comes 8:30-12:30 five days a week. She is 13, but is great with the kids. We pay her weekly $100.

T., you have gotten some very good advice here from other moms. Trust me when I tell you that this is a struggle for almost every single working mom out there. I used to have days just like you & struggled with it, emotionally and physicially. I now work from home and I work more now than I did when I worked outside of the house. I still struggle to get it all done and play with my kids, maybe more now because I work 7 days a week. Here are a few things that I have found work well in trying to stay on top of things: 1) Flylady.net is a wonderful website that will really help you get on top of things without trying to do it all at once. One tip from her site is to declutter your "hotspots" 15 minutes each day. It works wonders! 2) Do laundry daily, even if you don't put it all away, have seperate baskets for everyone. If you have to, put it all away on the weekends. It won't take long. 3) Crockpots can be your best friend. Take a few minutes the night before or even on the weekends to chop & prep things, in the morning, you just put it in & go. Dinner is ready when you get home. 4) create a weekly menu and make the same meals. It will be easier to prepare for them. Buy you burger in bulk, brown it & freeze it. You can have dinner ready in 15-20 minutes. I often will make hamburger helper, veggies or a salad and rolls and we have a meal on the table in about 15 minutes. 5) take 15 minutes to just be with the kids when you get home. It will make all of you feel better. 6) involve the kids in any way that you can! My 2 1/2 year old loves to help with everything. She puts the clothes in the dryer from the washer, helps rinse dishes, puts her clothes in the hamper, etc. Her favorite thing is to help me cook. In addition to feeling like we are spending some quality time together, she is learning good habits and often will put things away or offer to do things without being told to do them! I wish I had done this with my boys (16 & 14) when they were this age! 7) clean the bathroom while kids are taking a bath. 8) Spend 15 minutes preparing for the next day and 15 minutes picking things up (again involve the kids). The last two things I can say is that you need to talk to your partner about how you are feeling and ask him to take care of specific things. Generally, men do well if you give them a problem and tell them how it could be fixed. Asking my husband to take care of a couple of specific tasks has made it easier for both of us and I don't have to ask him every day to do these things b/c he knows that they are his responsibility. Realize that having little ones means that you will not likely have a spotless home, but you will have a home full of love and I would rather have that any day! Good luck to you & I H. that some of this has helped! I truly understand how you are feeling!

T.,
I understand what you are going through although, I only have 1 child. I tried to be supermom, but when I went back to work full time that was impossible. I learned how to prioritize, which was really difficult for me being a perfectionist. If my house isn't perfectly clean, I won't have company over. Needless to say, I don't entertain much. Most of my pressure to do certain things only came from myself internally, which is an issue I had to deal with. Luckily, the pressure to do everything did not come from my husband, who could care less if we had to eat fast food or frozen dinners because I was working so much. He didn't help with anything around the house. My child, too, had a severe reaction to the lack of quality attention that I was giving him. I decided his peace of mind and well being was worth much more than picking up the toys on the floor, or the carpet that wasn't vacuumed that day, or if there were dirty dishes in the sink. Yes, even that, which was a complete miracle to get to that point! My little boy is 12 years old now and looking back I do not regret putting off any of the chores in order to get the time in with him that he and I so desperately needed. Remember: Your kids will never grow up and need therapy because you neglected chores or chose to work part time to spend more quality time with them.
As far as your husband, it sounds like you are saying he is not hearing your plea for help or is not aware of how stressed you are because of all your responsibilities. The best thing I can suggest is to sit down together and reprioritize everything in your lives from the minute you both wake up to the time you fall asleep, and especially don't forget to purposely save time for being a wife, too. If you need help with that and if you live in the Dayton, Ohio area, Marriage Works! Ohio can help. They offer free relationship support and counseling. Call ###-###-####. It was the best thing I ever did because after 15 years of chaos, I now have some tranquility and I haven't gone crazy, yet.

I know how ya feel, sister! I feel like I work 8-9 hours per day at work, then come home to work 6 or 7 more! And my husband is about as helpful as yours. He does a load of laundry (meaning, he throws a bunch unsorted into the washer and forgets about it) and expects a medal. ;)

What I have learned is, you have to take care of yourself first. If you aer a stressed out, guilty mess, you aren't being the mommy your kids need. We have to learn to let stuff go. I am a big fan of the crock pot. I just throw some meat and potatoes in there right after bedtime, then put it in the fridge. Then in the AM, set it on low and let it cook all day. Then when you get home, your house smells good and comfy, and dinner is ready! You can even buy Crock Pot classics in the store now and all you have to do is chuck it in and add water. Also, sandwiches are fine dinners, and kids love em. Do whatever you have to--nuke it, simmer it, order out, make it simple--just to get something in your bellies and on to recreation.

I don't clean my house up until the weekend. I have gotten used to it. I de-clutter each night, but I am generally satisfied if there are places to sit and some carpet showing. My husband knows if he complains that I will rip his head off and hand him a broom. Now my 5 year-old loves to help me on our saturday morning clean-ups.

Oh, and the 4 1/2 year old is old enough now to help some. He might like to set the table or put the silverware away from the dishwasher.

My biggest advice, though, and what works for me when my family is taking me for granted...throw a mild fit and let Dad take care while you lock yourself in a bath.

I hope you can find some things to make this easier on you and your kids. I know it is stressful. I am a single mom with an almost 3 yr old. I've felt like there weren't enough hours as well and I've also felt guilty for putting off quality time with my son in order to clean or cook or whatever. Please just try like I do to remember that they are only small once. We only get a little time wtih them, and the way we spend that time will shape them and your relationship with them forever. My mother had a little poem hanging on the wall when I was little and it went, Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, For children grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep. I am rocking my baby and babies don't keep!
A couple of things I do are that I come home during my lunch hour sometimes to clean up or make dinner in advance. Or on weekends I prepare a couple of dinners to have throughout the week, and since its the weekend I can take my time and let my son help.

I feel your pain! What has helped me is getting daily e-mails from www.flylady.net. They have great ideas on getting you into the habit of having little routines for youself. It is just so nice to know that I am not the only one trying to balance everything! I found that with a little planning my days are a bit more organized. And, isn't hard to ignore the man on the couch relaxing while you are doing everything??!! Sometimes I find it easier if my husband isn't around! Us girls need to stick together! Hang in there!! When you have a moment to yourself check out the website.

Wow! I feel bad because I'm so busy that I flat out don't have time do to those things!
We have found that extra time and attention can be given to my son by having him help us. I know this doesn't work for all kids, but he loves to help cook dinner, he already knows how much water to put in a pot to boil veggies! He helps pick out dinner and has his own stool to just watch as whoever is cooking that night cooks. It adds on a mere 5 minutes but it has worked. He feels like he's getting more attention and we feel like we are giving more attention and not changing our schedules at all.
I'm not sure how that would work with two, but it's an option.

I think we've all been there, and ya know it doesn't ever change, you could be a stay at home or work at home mom and it would still seem that way at times. it's tough i know, i do work from home and things are great all day long, but it's like when the kids are in school they get home at 330 and we have a snack and do homeowrk and by that time i have to get dinner on for when hubby gets home at 5, and i have the kids i baby sit for running around and trying to get them off to their parents around that same time as well, then it's dinner and we clean up and the kids tell hubby about their day they get a bath and it's off to bed, so it's like i barely saw them all day and with 4 kids there is always more housework to do, or errands to run, and my kids are with thier dad 3 days a week, so that cuts into my time, so we cram all teh housework and yard stuff that we can into the days they are gone so we never have time alone, and thendo our best with the couple of hours between school, work and bedtime to actually get to spend time together. my suggestion to you, don't sweat the small stuff. if you are forever a day behind on your dishes or even two, it's not the end of the world, just rince them off and leave them, or get a dishwasher, when i worked mine only got emptied as we used the stuff in it and the dirty stuff sat in the sink untill then, same with the laundry if you can't manage to get to it daily who cares, it will wait for you, start a load before work throw it in the dryer when you get home and instead of putting it away keep a rack and hangers in the laundry room and hang it up when you pull it out of the dryer and let it sit till a weekend when you can take it all at once. you said you are trying to organize the kids' stuff to make clean up easier, get big bins an at the end of the day toss everything in one and put stuff away once it gets full or whatever, most kids seem to play with the same things all the time so there is no reason to really clean it up and put it away every day. but really you might care i know it drives me crazy and i couldn't help myself till my third child was born and i would up a single mom working and going to school, but no one really cares if your house is dusty, or if the laundry basket is now your new dresser because you just don't have time to put it away, you'll have lots more time than you want later on when the kids no longer need mommy so much and i bet if you can stop stressing over getting everything done you'll find out that your kids are better behaved at night and need less attention and you'll have that time to get it done. good luck, hang in there it really will work out, and i'm sorry somone out there will disagree with this but you don't have to have a spotless home to be a great mom. take care.

I know your pain. I was a single mom for 10 years with my son and worked 2 jobs. WHat I did to make time was. I had him help me with dinner . While I cooked he set the table and we would talk about our day. I started him at 3. I did everything I could to get all the house work done during the week. Then on my days off I would set quality time aside for him. Like we would watch a movie, go to the park for an hour or so. On work days I would take him to dairy queen and let him know this was our special time together. Though it wasn't long periods of time he knew I love him and I do all I can for him. I always found little ways to make it up to him. Now he is 11 and the most wonderful and understanding child ever. As far as their dad, well he needs to stop putting all on you. My daughters father works 10 to 16 hours a day hauling gasoline and working in all kinds of weather conditions and everyday comes home and feeds our daughter her dinner and entertains the baby while I cook. When his other kids are here he includes them into grilling out. His house work skills aren't much but he does help with laundry and taking dishes to the sink. Your man could at least do something like that.

T.,

I have almost the exact same situation that you have. I am a 33 year old mother of 1 and I work full time in an office also averaging about 45 hours a week. I get up at 5am and get home around 5:30/6pm. When I get home, my evening is spent preparing dinner and trying to spend a little time with my daughter before she goes to bed. After she goes to bed then I try to wash dishes and do something around the house before I collapse and my day starts over again. My husband and I have talked about me staying at home but he is loosing his job in April and hasn't found anything else yet so I have to keep working. My company is allowing me to work 4, 10 hour days so that I can have 1 day at home with my daughter. I work from 7am until 5:30/6pm and I take Wednesdays off. It makes for a much longer day but I have one whole day to spend with my daughter and relax. I don't know if your company allows flexible schedules but that is what I did to spend more time with my daughter. It is really hard when you are a working mom. I am so tired all the time that I feel like collapsing. I usually average about 5 or 6 hours of sleep per night. I don't know if what I have written helps but at least you know that other women are going through the exact same thing that you are.

Hi T.:
Wow, I often wonder how I'm going to handle two toddlers and a career if and when we get pregnant with our second...right now I can't relate, with just one toddling around, my life seems simple compared to yours. It's great reading all this other advice though. Here are some ideas I had that might help your cause.
1. Have you heard of Simply Done Dinners? http://www.simplydonedinners.com/ You go in once every two weeks and make all your meals, then freeze them and warm them as necessary. Might help in the kitchen, especially since you won't have a big mess to clean up afterwards.
2. Do you have a local recreation center where you could go for an hour or two every week? Ours has a child care so you can bring your kids, then blow off some stress on the treadmill for an hour or so. It's a great way to get some time to yourself while the kids have a good time...and the kids are usually worn out as well.
3. Any way you could take one day off work and deem it "organization" day? I try to do this once every 6 months or so. Send the kids to day care and just clean out the old toys, organize the clothes and get a fresh start on the season.
Well, hope some of this is helpful..sometimes it just helps to know that you're not alone!
Good luck...

I hv alot of ideas but instead of listing them all- alot of other moms hit what i was thinking in the wrap of it. What i really think u should do....is tell ur hubby ur stress and how great this mammasource is been(so he want get mad about what u say next) ....and that u wrote in a request...let him read just what u said here..and what all the other mothers said..they arnt the wife here and outside the box so he cant make up reasons why they r wrong for thing aswell that he should step up. Remember dear...u teach people how to treat u! Its so true. Ask him to read all of this so u r on the same page.Good luck
~R.~

T.,
I'm sorry it is so tough. I feel your pain and anxiety. My situation is different as I work from the same house we live in. We live above the business. However, I may be in the same house, but my kids have to fend for themselves. I feel sooo guilty ! When my kids come bug me for something and my daughter throws a fit it is ususally when I am on the phone with a client. I get interupted SOO much that I end up staying up after they go to bed and work. I do VERY little housework and the place is a mess because I HAVE to make the money to pay the rent and things have been sloooooow. When I have a few minutes I get the guilt trip from my husband that I am not spending "quality" time with everyone.

I am lucky that my husband cooks and does laundry. Well the only reason he does it, is because I don't do it "right" ! But he will help sometimes and he does enjoy playing with the kids.

Well anyway...not comparing, just letting you know that even though my situation is different, it is similar in the anxiety about it! I actually just closed my business and lifelong dream of 10 years to spend more time with the kids, but somehow I have to make some money.... never ending.

I'm sorry I didn't help with any time saving tips...don't know any myself. But you aren't alone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings.
M.

T.,
I hope after venting you are feeling better AND getting some great advice from everyone here. I let my daughter help with making dinner, and we also give her chores like putting silverware and napkins at everyone's place. She loves to help out and we get to hang out. I've also found that if I put on some fun music and have a "dance party" in the kitchen during this time it seems like a lot more fun. I'll take a few seconds to sing along and dance then get back to cooking or direct my daughter. I have a 1 year old who gets to dance along with me and then I usually put him in his highchair with some toys and snacks. He is usually content to watch his sister and I cook and play.
Picking up everyones stuff can be such a chore! I've found that if I throw everything in a laundry basket and then deposit each iten where it belongs it goes faster. Maybe your son could help throw everything in the basket.
Your partner needs to help out! Maybe if you give him one job like cleaning up after dinner or vacuuming he could do that. Even better he could spend time with the kids by giving them a bath or reading a book.
One other thing I've found that helps me when I feel scattered and frazzled is to try and stop and think about how lucky I am to have two healty, happy kids who want my attention. Sometimes I even go in the bathroom - take 2 minutes and just smile and try to change my mood to one of gratitude rather than insanity! It helps me :) maybe it will help you too.
Good luck!

Hi, T.--

I almost felt like I was reading my biography! I have a 1-year-old and a 2-year-old and I work full-time. The kids go to daycare MWF and my mom watches them T and Th. The evenings are a whirlwind because I can't keep my eye off of either of them for a second. My 2-year-old is a night-owl and pretty much stays up until 10:00 or so. We try to get her to start settling down around 8:00, but it usually takes a while to get her sleepy enough to go to bed. I can rarely do dishes or laundry until after 10:00 p.m. PLUS--our house is on the market and we have showings a couple of times a week, so I am forever running around after the kids cleaning stuff up off of the floor, Windexing the fingerprints off of the windows, etc., etc. If I want to go to the gym, I usually do that at 5:00 a.m. while everyone is still asleep. My husband is a great help so that's nice, but I can absolutely relate to your frustration. I feel so bad when I get frustrated with the girls when they're only trying to get my attention. I do want to spend quality time with them, but then I'm thinking about all of the stuff that I need to do, so I guess it's not really that quality. I guess that we need to realize that soon they'll be doing their own things and then we'll have too much time to clean and get stuff done so we should probably just do the best we can and know that it'll still be there tomorrow. Anyway--just wanted to let you know that you're definitely not alone!! :-)

I know how you feel. I work full time, and don't get home untill about 6:00. There is not time. My house is a mess ALL the time, I am to the point that I don't care. I try to make the most out of the weekends, and now that the kids are getting older, it is getting better. 5 and 3 now, but we decided to have another, so I have one more on the way. Last Christmas I took a bunch of Christmas money and re-did our toy room to have cabinets and bins, so clean-up is esier. It is worth it, take a vacation day to do it, it helps your sanity. Once or twice a week we eat pizza or PB&J's -- I know it is not the best, but it gives us at least one or two nights to do other stuff. I have also moved to baths every other night, that also helps. Hang in there, you are not alone, but it is not easy.

Hi T.,
Even thought I only have one 8 month old, I still can relate. My man says the same things! I was actually the only one working for the longest time and I was trying very very hard to keep nursing Alex. I finally put my foot down and said "I'm done." I didnt work so hard and then started working less. I realized that we still needed the income and took on that task (starting working from home and then made enough to quit my job), but I am home and not missing my baby as much. I am with him everyday and still nursing him. Priorities. It would be very hard for me to say no to my son if he asked me to hold him. You are very strong, and because of that, you will figure out what to do. Just remember that we dont get our days back. Your "someday" needs to be today.

T.,
Wow it is like I am reading a page right out of my own life biography. I too am a monther of two boys (Gavin 18 months & Jeffrey 6) I have been with their father since I was a senior in high school. Met 3 years before that when we were 16 and have a wonderful time. He was my first true love and years later I kept calling and keeping in touch with him during wrestling season. Come my senior year his sister called me and we hooked back up again and have been togther ever since. He has always worked with his dad (Self-employed)and raced stock cars with his dad every weeekend. When I found out that I was pregnant I was pushed away by him, his mother, his father and everyone else that knew that I was pregnant on his side of the family. (not planned) We were able to grow beyond that and got married 4 years after the first child. I was a stay at home mom for the first 3 years of his life. Since I have had a second child and everything changed before that. I have lived with him for the past nine years and this is a little how my story goes. Wake up at 6:30 just in time to get clothes layed out for the two boys before they wake up , find my clothes for work, make the sippies for the day at daycare, get dressed. (Take a much needed shower if time allows) Get the two boys up and dresses for school, and daycare (Grandma's right now) the youngest has to go to daycare. I then leave my house at 8:00 and head towards daycare first (husband has no car) then on into my job that starts at 8:45 and I live 45 minutes away. I work till 5:00 and by the time that I get through to the daycare it is 5:30-5:45. I head home and the baby wants to play outside.Done. Inside for dinner and bath. Which I do. Off to bed with the kids. Onces that has been done I head off to the kitchen or the basement to do laundry. I have been taking adult education classes during the week too. They recently just ended. That was added into the mix too. The weekends consist of my 6 year old racing his go-karts and quarter midgets that cost more than my car is worth. While my husband (whom I have spent NO alone time with) heads off with his dad and the oldest son to the track in Toledo or Barberton. I get a little fed up with it considering that my husband leaves the house at 8:00 and meets his dad right outside the house and is never late. They work till whenever they want and head towards home on a nice day to play horseshoes. I am stuck doing the housework, laundry, dishes, dinner, mow the lawn, take out the trash and anything else that needs completed. I would love to stay at home with my kids but cannot do so due to the fact that I pay all the bills in the house EXCEPT for the rent that is $450.00/month which happens to be all that my husband's dad pays him for the month. I think that there are not enough hours in a day or enough days in the week. I just wish that I had enough money to go to Myrtle Beach for a week and not have to worry about money all the time. No possible.

A couple of moms have already touched on this but... You do not have to be perfect. I took me a while to understand this. My husband and my mom both had to sit me down and make me understand that the house does not have to be perfect and the dishes will still be there the next day if you need a night to relax. Also, my husband was very much like your husband until we had our "talk." Now we make deals, example I do the dishes he gives the baby a bath and reads to her and then we both tuck her in. I works much better that we and we have a stronger relationship because of it. Instead of running around like crazy after my daughter goes to bed I get to relax with my husband.

I hear you, and fully understand the feeling of being overwhelmed, and the Mommy guilt. I am in a similar situation (only we own our own business, and I work at Home). I'll tell you what I have ended up doing, and maybe some of the things will work for you and your home. On Sundays my three year old and I spend the afternoon making up the coming weeks meals (chicken pot pie, Lasanga, homemade mac-n-cheese, cooking the meat for taco night, suffed cabbage, etc). The three year old loves spending time with me, and being "my lil Chef". It satifies his need for quality time with his mom, and helps me out greatly with all the weekday meals. Meals can be popped in the oven, salad, or canned vegtable heat, and dinner is done. While dinner is heating I can sit and play with mye three year old and nine month old.

As for the dreaded toy clutter. I ended up purchasing one of those bin shelf things (they have like ten-twelve bins). Once the bins reach full capacity, then items are boxed up and put in the attic. Couple months down the road, toys are swaped out with attic stuff, given to younger brother, or disgarded. Basically I limit how many toys are available in the household in one time. I also have a small basket which toys are stored in the living room. When that basket is full nothing more can come into the living room until something else is put away in their rooms.

As far as your partner helping out, good luck with that! I finally gave up and assumed I was sole care giver to the boys and I didn't want to keep having the same arguement over and over. Once I came to that decision, the resentment I felt started to fade, and their dad actually started helping out a little bit more (once I stopped asking of coarse). Make no mistake I still do ninety percent of the raising, and household chores, but his ten percent helps.

As for Laundry, I haven't figured out a solution for that one. Best of luck, and hang in there. Feel free to vent anytime, we all have been there, and will be there again...LOL

I know exactly where you are coming from! My husband has used the manual labor versus office work excuse also. I just finished my Masters and have had to work full time the whole time. I was not home much at all. My boys are 11 and 7 now and I have "missed" a significant portion of their childhood. This is some of the advice that got me through it. First, when it comes to chores they will wait. My husband and I have agreed that he will keep up with the kitchen and I will keep up with the laundry. Those are the two that don't end and take the most time. Everything else is a mattre of people cleaning up after themselves. Your 4 year old can help with the room. I used to have my kids help with organizing the toys and they found a lot buried at the bottom of the toybox that they hadn't played with for a long time. The vacuuming, dusting, and other cleanup like that can be done once a week or so when you have a day off or a short day. Your partner needs to understand that any job is mentally taxing and you need down time too. About time with the kids, every working mother feels guilty that they are not there enough. For some reason it is our responsibility to keep the house running and to nurture the kids. The kids are the priority between the two. Talk to them and play with them as much as you can. When you are home on the weekends commit some time for them specifically and stick to that. Let your four year old talk to you about his day when you are cooking dinner. Kids know a lot more than we give them credit for and he may just be knowing you are stressed out and want to make it better. You care, obviously, so just make sure your kids know that you are at work to help make their lives better and it will be fine. Talk to your partner and agree that if he takes 2 hours down time every night, you get at least 1 and if the house doesn't get spotless, so be it. Good luck.

Hi T.,
You sound so much like me but to add to my story my father has come to live with me the kids and their father. I just started reading yesterday a book about contentment from within. I'm 38 yrs old and have been involved with my children's father for about 14 yrs. we have been living together for 2yrs. I could go on and on However he is no help when it comes to taking care of the kids after work or getting dinner prepared. all he wants to do is sign our 9 yr old up for the next sports camp. I have decided that I MUST slow down and get a game plan that works for me because if I loose it what will the kids do. So yesterday we went to Hometown Buffet to eat. No we can't do that everyday but it certainly helped for that day. Tonight, Don't know yet!
I did puzzles with my 2yr old last night before bed then my 9 yr old started longing for attention and I got a book(Sports related and we took turns reading a page of one chapter. After that I had to put them both to bed and start getting ready for the next day, clothes, shoes, etc. It helps when I take a deep breathe and say to myself that my higher power(God) will not give me more then I can handle. Contentment and balance is my goal prayer helps to keep me sane. And I'm still not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with their father. You really don't know a person until you have lived with them.I cherish my moments of PEACE even in the mist of being soooo busy. I take the time to read before I close my eyes each night . I have to remember If I don't take care of me(Reading Praying etc. it's like driving a car until it gives out of gas. my girlfriend also suggested that I plan sometime to connect with the kids, walking ,library, etc Just to unwind before diving into the next thing after work, cooking, clothes etc. hope something I shared helps SMILE

I totally agree with the other moms. Your house doesnt have to be perfect all the time. My grandmother used to say " the dust will be there tomorrow but your kids wont be" which means, you will have plenty of time for perfection when your children are grown. I used to be like you, when I was married to my xhusband, I worked fulltime. Everything had to be spotless for him or he would throw a fit. So I would run crazy while he laid on the couch channel surfing. When I got a divorce, I decided I wasnt going to stress myself like that anymore. When I met my bf I told him, if you want Martha Stewart she dont live here ! Up til recently I worked full time, in the morning I would put a load of clothes in the washer, when I got home from work, I would put those in the dryer and throw another load in washer. I would come upstairs, make dinner, hang out with the kids, then do baths. After baths we would hang out until bedtime. After the kids went to bed, I would lay out thier clothes for morning ( to make mornings less stressful), I would fold the clothes that are in the dryer, and throw the other load in the dryer. I would pick up alittle do up the dishes and at 9 or 930 I was done for the night. I gave myself an hour each night before I went to bed just to unwind from the day and relax only to do it tomorrow. Perfection to me comes from being a good mom, spending time with your children - not from wether you scrubbed the kitchen floor or windexed the windows today