Just Curious -- (Scary Birthing Experiences)

Getting to the hospital, being rushed right to a room and upon the first inspection doctor says that i have start pushing immediately. Had my baby 5 minutes later no drugs, no numbing, no anything!.

Im thankful that it was so speedy but not being able to find my bearings was frightening.

Giving birth is always at least a little bit scary, even in the very best of circumstances. I remember everything that went down on both of the days my children were born, but it neither scares me, nor brings me to tears. Now, there are plenty of things that have happened since then that make me a little teary-eyed, or can get my heart pumping a bit, but not their actual births. Mostly I only get teary when it's one of their birthdays & then it's because I can't believe how old they are (10 & 12 years old now) & that I'm so lucky to have such awesome, wonderful, lovey kids!

Well I lost my son at a fair once for about 5 minutes when he was 2 yrs old. I was 5 months prego with my second and I thought I would just die for a second there. I just started shaking all over, it was awful. I don't think on it too often bc there were huge ditches everywhere full of water, well over 1000 people and it was traumatizing!! What I did at the time to overcome it was learn about child safety in a crowd and I posted my story as well as what I had learned on this very board, hoping to spare another parent what I went through. It was so empowering. My son is now four and I know that maybe what happened to helped some other parent along the way, so if I start to remember the horror of those five minutes or so, then I think of how I used it as a positive thing in the end. So maybe see if there someone you can help with your story or survival. If there is a way to reach out to other moms who are on bedrest etc. I find that helping someone else chases off the bad feelings faster than anything else! Good luck, so happy your little man is doing great ;)

I tried my 2nd baby at a birthing center where they practice natural birth. No pain meds or intervention, but the hospital a few miles away. Well it was the worst birth imaginable and i could hear the nurses whispering. I chose to stand and push, but then they ordered me on my hands and knees on the bed. I thought we were going to be dead. The cord was around his neck and heaven only knows what else....they didnt tell me much. But my baby had fingernail marks on his scalp. He screamed for an hour after he was born and i was in intense pain on the bed with my head in the pillow screaming too. A complete nightmare. My first daughter was born naturally in a hospital and it was a great birth. Needless to say....when my baby turned 20 months and i found myself pregnant again.....i started Googling the word "epidural". The best experience i have ever had, I laughed and talked as the baby came out and though i had died and went to heaven compared to my previous birth.

I know what you mean. I had one perfect delivery and one traumatic one. I remember them both really clearly, but the definitely have different feelings about the one that was difficult. I think that we're just built that way. The chemicals that are released during a distressful event create more vivid memories for us. And everyone has their own experience about a baby being born early and the realization that they may not make it, but as Moms I don't think that anyone can really relate to our feelings in that situation.

I hear you Mama~ Now we just continue to be grateful for the sweet ones we have and do our best to love them and raise them the right way!

I had 3 vaginal births with all 3 they never came out crying the nurses worked them up to cry my daughter came out so fast her whole head & face swelled she looked purple then they had to suction her tummy she was gurggling but they told me they are all fine healthy full term babies,my last baby nothing wrong with her but me I bleed more than usual after birth I was given a hormonal shot then cleaned out right there in my bed I was freakin out but from what I was told & understand that the more vaginal deliveries a woman has the more we bleed than with our first has to do with the uterus.I'am now 9 weeks pregnant so far i'm not considered high risk I see my OB at 10 weeks,i'am scared to be pregnant but it is so worth it after it is allover I do everything possible to keep healthy during pregnancy avoid all sorts of stuff because to me you can never be too careful while carrying for human life growing inside your body.All pregnancies are different so is all deliveries don't beat yourself up becasue you don't have the same emotions for your second.I never cried after giving birth to my babies I cried so much during pregnancy I was more than joyful to finally meet them bring them into ourlives that I didn't have time to cry.

My first delivery had no issues...I remember every detail to this day. I never understood the "Time makes you forget"...

My second was very tramatic for my son and myself. Very scary and I yes still remember every detail...from the words the nurse used to the unspoken words on my husbands face when I couldn't tell up from down.

It took me a long time to get over what I experienced with my second child. I had a doctor I had never met, who ignored me for the most part after I told him I didn't want the c-section he wanted to give me because I had labored for 14 hours by then. (It was 23 in total.) Then things got scary with my blood pressure. I was really afraid I was going to die.

I wrote my own doctor a letter and told him how I felt, poured my heart out. And no, I didn't send the letter - I never would have - he was NOT the doctor attending my birth. But it made me to feel better to write it.

My son was okay, bruised and swollen, and it took my body longer than usual to get back to normal - my own doctor told me I couldn't go back to work at 6 weeks. I chose a song that was popular at the time that seemed to help me deal with what I had gone through with him - Have I Told You Lately That I Love You. "You fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles, that's what you do." I still sometimes tear up when I hear that song.

Fast forward 16 years. I had put that fear and feeling away until this Mother's Day weekend, Foreveryoung. And I wrote something about it in a thread that someone asked a question in. A midwife here started PM'ing me awful stuff and made fun of me for feeling like I might have died. It is her opinion that women should use midwives and not go to hospitals, and she is so sure of herself that she thinks that she knows what every woman needs, though she has never met us or examined us.

I have to say, that her bullying brought back the feelings I had left behind, and the memories I did NOT want to remember. I'm so glad I never had to go through childbirth again. Two children was what I wanted anyway, and I'm glad. But when I read on these threads people badgering and bullying women, telling them that they should have their births a certain way, etc., it really bothers me, ESPECIALLY when THAT midwife who treated me like she did during Mother's Day weekend bullies other moms.

I had turned my memories into gratefulness for my final nurse, who came to me with the new shift change, not remembering the bad part. I wish I hadn't had to go back to memories that made me feel sad.

Dawn

To be honest I believe the connection that you have with your first son is because of the fact that there was a medical emergency yet your son pulled through. The tie is the emotional whirlwind that one minute he is there and the next he may not be. Your second son's delivery had minor problems compared to the first but your emotions are less construed to the stress of the situation so you appear to not feel as close but what you need to do is realize you have been blessed with two very special boys and they both are yours to nurture and learn from.
My story would take way too long to tell here but just picture a difficult first day of life followed by surgery and then 8 months of not being able to hold your son wondering whether you ever would and the emotional stress of whether you would ever bring him home or not for another year but then when the day finally happened, how things felt.
No matter what anyone says, life is special and the little ones that start their lives with difficulties and special needs will become the ones that I will always look up to because they are the fighters of the world that we all should stop and think about.
Love both of your boys no matter how you do it just show each one of them that they are special because they are here for you and your family!

Yes, my first birthing experience, I could recall it as if it was yesterday, every single detail. Maybe b/c it was my first and I had no idea what to expect, maybe it was b/c it was traumatic. Which is sad, b/c my second delivery 2 years later was scheduled, totally uneventful and extremely easy, so I don't have that many vivid memories at all, which also makes me feel sad. But I did get that one on video, (tastefully, of course!)

First, let me say that sounds like a very scary experience and it sounds like you are handling it well. I personally think that I would have a hard time forgetting all of it if I went through what you have gone through. This may not apply in your situation, but I am going to throw this out there. If you feel like you are re-experiencing the situation when you think about - in other words, you feel anxious all over again or if you feel like the memories are too distressing or intrusive - you may want to talk to a therapist about PTSD. I had PTSD after an unrelated event, but I didn't realize it for about a year after the initial "event". It was extremely helpful to just talk to someone. Again, I'm not saying that this is what is going on in your case, but just throwing it out there just in case it helps you or someone else that might be reading this and can relate.

Every birth experience is different, so of course you're going to feel different with every one. It sounds like you are feeling a little guilty that you don't have as strong emotions with your second birth as you did with your first? Aside from the fact that the first was more eventful, I think it completely stands to reason that it made a stronger impression on you because it was your first time giving birth. It doesn't mean you love your second any less or are any less bonded to him.

My first delivery was traumatic, my second was almost as perfect as you can get. When I think of my first, my emotions are definitely stronger, and not in a good way. It's almost to a point where I'd rather not think of it at all. I'm grateful my son is healthy, but otherwise, it was not at all a good experience for me. And it's heartbreaking to think that about the birth of any child.

Yes, my first birth was very traumatic to me... it was a snowball effect of failed and harmful interventions used on what was a normal birth, ended with an 'emergency cesarean' and I've never gotten over the anger, bitterness and resentment. I armed myself with education, studies and other women's experiences in order to have decided to have a home birth VBAC for my next one.

Eventho I ended up with another cesarean, I know this time it came from a true issue, not from inept surgery happy OBs who just wanted to practice their surgical skills. With #2 I had hard labor at home for 13 hours... stalled at 7cm for 5 hours before my CNM asked me if I would consider transferring to a hospital to continue with my VBAC. Being exhausted and starting to not handle the pain well - I accepted. Took an hour to drive to a VBAC friendly hosptial. The OB I liked gave me another 10 hours to labor once I got there, I agreed to an epidural 5 hours after getting there and was given pitocin to augment my already full blown labor.

Baby failed to descend tho I was fully effaced and dilated - - so OB said we really needed to have the c-section. When I saw him come out, I realized why he was stuck and knew if I had forced the issue about a vaginal birth, we could have both died. His chest was larger than his head and his head was pretty big!! If his head descended, his chest would have been stuck. He was a bloated (water) 10lb 8oz baby!!

Eventho I ended with another cesarean, which my VBAC advocate OB made sure she gave me an incision that would not impede my next attempt at a VBAC... this time, the fear/scare tactics, inept OBs coercing me into interventions, etc were not present and I willing and completely went ahead with the cesarean. My 2nd birth was not traumatic.

Both of my births were at home, and I can remember just about every detail! My first was LOOOOOOOOONG (36 hours active labor, 4+ hours pushing), and my 2nd INTENSE (8 hours start to finish, went from 8cm to holding a baby in 16 minutes). You'd think the memories would fade over time, but my son is almost 5, and I remember it like it was yesterday. And that was with a POSITIVE birthing experience. I can't imagine going through what you endured. You are, indeed, a strong woman! BUT... have you considered grief counseling? Just a thought because sometimes just talking about it helps us come to terms and not necessarily accept, but just... can't think of the word. Regardless, you'll probably always remember, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm sorry that happened to you! It sounds absolutely terrifying and there's no feeling like the one where you think you lose your baby. It can't be described to non-moms. It also sounds like the experience was "taken" from you-- your baby behind the curtain, not knowing what was happening. You need to find a way to own the experience and take back the power that is yours. I also encourage you to check out Birthing From Within. If there isn't a workshop near you, you can still get the book. Good luck and remember you can heal from this trauma.

It sounds like you still might need to process your birth experiences. Birthing from Within mentors are trained to help women with processing their birth experiences, particularly the less-than-perfect ones. You might want to try to find one near you (you can find a mentor near you at the Birthing from Within website -- www.birthingfromwithin.com). Look for someone who offers the Birth Story Workshop.