Juggling Infant Nap Schedule with Kindergartener

I had three kids in six years, so a real schedule was simply out of the question. We did have a general routine, getting up and going to bed at the same time every day, meals at about the same time, but with preschool drop off/pick up, swim lessons, going to the park, zoo or beach with friends, every day was a little different. My babies napped whenever they needed it, wherever we were.
Personally I'm glad we didn't adhere to a strict schedule, I think my kids were a lot more flexible and easy going because of it, and we never had to leave the fun because "the baby had to be home in his bed between two and three" to nap.
ETA: I also never moved a sleeping baby! Or at least not unless I had to. So if she's sleeping in her carrier let her sleep, no need to move her to the crib. With reflux she may actually be more comfortable this way anyway.

Don't over-think it.

At 4 months the baby did WHATEVER WE DID. He went wherever and napped in his carseat as we drove to school, sports, etc. I never stopped to do a nap routine.

At about 1 year of age, yes, the baby would do a daily nap noon to 2 every day (more or less tme, depending). Getting down to the one nap was great! Then, I DID see to it that he got it up until about age 2.5 or 3. On days when we could not make it work? I bought a stroller that reclines and called it good. Only until after 12 months did naps happen in the crib. Before that, it was swing, bouncer, whatever.

I juggled my four older ones schedule around nap time at that point. Kindergarten would get out in the middle of nap time so I just extended the kindergarten day until 3pm. Many schools have programs you can do that.

schedules are great, but infants change so quickly that as soon as you get one established, they're in a new phase. i would let go of the notion that you have to be 'consistent.'
one of the best things i did as a dumb inexperienced young mother was to just sling my babies off into everything i did. i never planned the day around the babies' naps. they napped when they got sleepy, wherever they were. sometimes that was in the car, sometimes in a backpack, sometimes snuggled in my lap, sometimes on a blanket under a tree by the riding ring.
i would never be afraid of moving a baby for fear of waking them. if they wake up, they wake up. at some point they go back to sleep. conversely i would never wake a baby to feed it. (well, with my first i did because the hospital nurses terrified me into it. my baby taught me better within the first two weeks.)
i don't know whether i'm cavalier about it because i had easy babies, or if i had easy babies because i incorporated having babies into my life.
having a routine is not the same thing as being wedded to a schedule. i made sure my babies had routines- singing silly 'good morning' songs when i got them up, baths and bed routines- but we never got locked into schedules.
khairete
S.

You are way over-thinking this. These years will fly by and you will soon wish you got a break via naps. Relax. Schedule what you must and let the rest fall into place. My most useful garment during those years was a sling. Every one of my kids was hauled all over creation in a sling, they slept in there, observed the world from there, and it gave me two free hands to catch escaping toddlers. I highly suggest you try one.

Routines and schedules are great, but I don't understand why a routine would require baby nap in her crib. Baby should have her nap at the same time each day, but it doesn't really matter if it is at the gym, in her stroller, in the car seat or in your arms. Who on earth wants to sit at home all day while baby naps in a crib? Go out and live life.

Once the second child is born, those routines become less realistic. When school starts in the fall, consider then type of routine you can create for the baby around the kindergarten schedule. Maybe the first nap begins shortly after the bus leaves and you go from there.

Neither of my kids had much of a routine before they were year old. With my oldest, I just followed his cues. You can do that when you are a SAHM and only have 1 kid. When my second was born, my oldest was in school and had to adjust to big brother's schedule.. We made it work.

If baby falls asleep in the car, just bring the carrier inside and set it down somewhere. There is no reason to transfer baby to the crib -never worked for my kids, anyway.

I never rally did a prenup routine. I bottle fed and rocked to sleep at that age and then placed them in the crib (well, bed, I hardly ever used the crib).

The books help, but you find what works for you and your situation.

I always made sure kids got a good long morning nap. Then the afternoon they slept on the go. Either in stroller or car. I now babysit my granddaughters and it is the same. Baby is 6 months. Long am nap. If home in afternoon she takes a long afternoon nap if not she sleeps when she can. I like routine but I want them to learn to be flexible. 2 yo will nap in afternoon when baby does. If we are out she does not.

Things will fall into place. Everyone manages to find what works best for them. When my kids were little only one mother went to bus in morning with all the kids. Same for pick up we all took turns. No reason for every mother to be there. That is insane. I am sure you can work something like that out with others.

My son slept when he was tired and wherever he was at the time. The only time he was ever in his crib was when we put him down for the night. Otherwise, we went about our lives with him in a stroller or car seat or on a mat or wherever. There was NO pre nap routine (well, probably a yawn and then completely out). If you are using a snap in car seat/stroller combo, when he falls asleep in the car, just pop the seat out and take him wherever you are going. No reason in the world to 'put him on a schedule' at all. I have no idea in the world how people put their infants on a feeding schedule. When DS was hungry, there was nothing in the world I wouldn't have done to make the noise stop. That IS why babies cry after all.

Oh, and we NEVER woke the baby. The idea of waking him up to feed was NEVER going to happen. Any advice that involved waking the baby would have gone directly into the garbage.

Babies generally function on a 3-3-1/2 hour schedule. So whether or not you think YOU are putting THEM onto this schedule, it is pretty much in your mind.

ETA: I work FT and this was my son's routine. At daycare (3 days a week from 9 weeks of age) they also followed HIS routine - fed him when he was hungry, let him sleep when he fell asleep, played when he was awake. So this can work for stay at home or working out of the home parents.

The beauty of babies, they sleep in cars. When I had my third I had a 9 and 11 year old, their activities set the schedule. I never even considered how the two would go together. My younger kids got tired, they slept in the car, needed to eat, I nursed them in the car. If I was lucky I could park where I could still see the soccer games.

They can sleep in strollers, you can wear them too. Heck I wore my third while I mowed the lawn, he was always asleep by the time I was done with the front yard.

Schedules are great but the ability to adapt is priceless.

Oh, I would recommend you stop reading books about how to raise other people's kids. No ones kids are the same. Just my opinion mind you but books seems to pidgin hole people into well the book says this should work so I must be doing it wrong never considering it just doesn't work for your child.

You don't have the luxury of routine when it comes to kids 2, 3, 4, etc...
Those kids have to learn to be flexible, and will adapt to other routines.

So I would suggest you work with your Kinder's schedule, and if the baby needs to nap in the stroller, car...wherever, that's just how it goes. She will learn and will sleep when she is tired.

There have been a ton of days where I was left my DD sleeping in the car after she fell asleep from a pick up. My kids never "transferred" to the crib either, so leaving them in the car was sometimes the only option to get their nap in (and often, leaving the car running!). So I would hang out outside on the steps and read while my other kiddo played. Or put them in the house with a movie and sit outside (I always stay where I can see the car, and make sure they are safe)...but we have done this a million times when they were young.

You'll figure it out. But you have to stick with the older kid's schedule, and let the little one adapt as you go.

My SD was in a HS club when DD was an infant and toddler. There were plenty of times when DD fell asleep in the car or had to be taken to the car to get SD during a nap. IMO, do the best you can, and if you can get your baby to nap in the earlier afternoon so that baby is ready for pickup, great! If not, use a nice big stroller where the seat reclines and let baby nap in the stroller when you walk out to the bus. Some kids are really inflexible, but most adapt to whatever routine you need to have. My DD was always a night owl and while other people talk about their kids in bed by 7:30, that never worked for us. Find what works for you and stick to that as best as you can, knowing it won't be in stone. You want to walk the dog? Put baby in a stroller or wear her and take her along. Four month olds are very portable.

I would also try moving from carrier to crib, to see how she does. Perhaps she will self-soothe and get right back to sleep or you can put a hand on her back to help her return to sleep. I got lucky with DD. I have always been able to move her and she doesn't wake up or falls back to sleep easily.

Remember, books are a guideline and the kids never get the memo. Use the tips that work but don't stress on the ones that don't work for your family or THIS kid. I'm sure you and baby will adjust in the fall.

I recommend you read the Baby Whisperer book. Her routine is what I've done with both of my kids. Basically, it's an Eat, Activity, Sleep routine. My son is almost 12 weeks. Our day starts at 6, since I'm going to have to go back to work next week, I made sure to just start our routine with what it would have to be for work.

6 am I get up with him, change him, give him his reflux meds, then his bottle.
after that he plays in his crib or activity gym thingy, until 7 when it's time to take sister to daycare.
7:15- go to daycare, he usually falls asleep in the car.
7:30ish we're back home, I take him out of the carrier and put him in bed. I swaddle him (Swaddled his sister until she was 9 months) he either goes back to sleep, or like right now, talks to himself in bed until he goes back to sleep.
9 - wake him up for a bottle if he isnt already awake.
after that, until 10/10:30ish, play on the floor with his gym, or he sits in my lap and looks around, or whatever activity we want to do.
10/10:30-12 nap
12 - bottle
lather, rinse, repeat every 3ish hours. If we've got errands to run or whatever, we do them about half an hour after a bottle, he will nap in his carseat and I can go to the store or have lunch with someone or whatever. He's on a 3-3 1/2 hour routine, so he eats every 3-3 1/2 hours. Half of that time is spent sleeping, but having an activity in between eating and sleeping is important.

My husband and I are very routine oriented, so it makes sense for us to get our baby on a routine as soon as possible. The beauty of the baby whisperer's routine is that it's easy to adjust if you need to go out or do something. Wednesday we're meeting friends for a fun afternoon, we just planned it for after the baby has his bottle at noonish, and since he's such a good stroller baby, he'll probably sleep during most of it.

We don't have a pre-nap routine, besides changing his diaper and swaddling, maybe a little cuddle. But since we do everything in a predictable pattern, he knows what to expect and it works really well for us.

I would recommend getting the baby whisperer solves all your problems from the library. That's what I did when my daughter was a baby, and it was a life saver.

Good grief! It's a baby not a schedule....you are working way too hard!

You have to go somewhere? You go pick the baby up, put them in the stroller or car seat, you go, you come back and see what the baby is good for then. If they stayed asleep or went back to sleep then it's likely to be play time. BUT you are not your child's playmate. You have other things to do so letting baby play in a play pen/pack n play or lay on their tummy on a blanket on the floor is perfectly acceptable things.

The baby will sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry.

As she gets older she will start staying awake a lot more too.

In child care the teachers start working to one long nap around age 10 months. So that by the time they turn 1 they are not taking any other naps. This is needed because in the toddler room they have a daily schedule and they have a scheduled nap time on a cot. If the state inspector was to come in the toddler room and there were children laying on cots asleep while they were supposed to be outside for recess the center or home care provider would get an infraction. So the toddlers must be down to one nap.

In a home setting it's not so important. But my point in telling this instance where it's needed is to confirm to you that in the next 6-8 months your little one can be guided into the schedule you want.

Right now she could do a morning and afternoon nap for sure. If she needs more sleep than that you just figure out what works and put her down.

You can go and do what ever you want. The baby is at it's easiest. You just pick them up, change their diaper, put them in the car seat and go. If they get fussy while you're where you need to be you pick them up, snuggle them a bit, give them a bottle, then put them down and continue. They are pretty easy right now.

There is way too much emphasis on schedules at home for babies in my opinion. If you really want a schedule then right down what she does all day. It's not about you it's all about her. When does she want to play with only you, when does she get sleepy, when does she like to eat? and so forth. There's your schedule.

It doesn't hurt a nanny to nap in the car seat. If baby falls asleep in the car just pull the carrier out and bring it in the house and let her sleep. I never had a pre nap routine. When it was naptime I put the baby to bed.

What I did with my third was wake her early, put her down for an early nap- 8, then wake her when we needed to go. I'd then have her fall asleep in the car for her second nap, transferring her to her crib, and then do the third nap. For me, the second nap usually starts in the car, as we head home. To help with the transfer, just make white noise and sooth with your voice. They quickly learn to just relax into you, and then to go back to sleep in the crib. It's worth teaching them this.