Is This Odd?

My almost 2 year old son had the same problem. What we did was not force him to take a bath unless he was really dirty, then we filled the tub with an inch of water. His bath toys didn't really really work with so little water and he liked the toys so we are building back up to more water and more time in the tub. It did take several weeks to get to the point where he wasn't screaming and is more interested in the water again. As for the diaper problem I don't know. Good luck.

Sounds like someone may be inappropriately touching, etc that area. If you're working, who is taking "care" of her? I'd be really careful as it sounds like something is going on that shouldn't be going on.

I too agree with the others. There are a few red flags. You might want to take her in to be checked. I truly hope its just a phase and not anything else.

Hi N. -

I don't want to be the bearer of possible bad news, but please find out more about who is caring for your daughter while you are at work, and please do not rule out anyone (even family members). I'm speaking from experience here N.. My daughter was sexually abused when she was 3 and it continued for several years because I refused to consider that as a possiblity. I am a single mom (of 3) too so I know that you have to work to take care of your child. UTI can be caused by the germs on the hands of someone who may have fondled or inappropriately touched your daughter. This would explain why she doesn't want to take her diaper off.

I really hope this has not happened to your little girl, but for her sake - and your own - check it out.

M.

Are you sure she hasn't been touched inappropriately or anything? If you are sure everything is good on that side, maybe the rash just burns and needs to heal...aloe vera works wonders...If she stands up in the bath see if she would take a shower without screaming. I think I'd ask her if anyone has hurt her and see what she says.

hi N.!
Like the two responses below mine, there are a few redflags going up for me when I read your response. I would definately do some investigating just to make sure that she's not being hurt in any way by the people that take care of her. About the bath, have you tried getting in the shower with her? My two year old son really likes that. Don't push her and allow her experience of the UTI to become forgotten. Good luck!

No, not odd at all. In fact, it is a great signal for you that something isnt right. That area has been hurting her. For baths, refrain from using any soap or bubble baths. Plain water is fine and wont irritate her sensitive areas. At diapering time, dont use the disposable wipes. A wash cloth with plain water will not irritate her and will work great. In fact the wet cloth lying on the area for a bit will be very soothing. Use a pure cream, if needed, after cleaning. Organic with calendula is something I would look for. If you can get her to sit in the plain bath water once, she will see how soothing it is. I think this may help her attitude about it. Now she is fearful of the pain she has been experiencing, and is afraid of more.

Have you tried giving her a shower?? I think maybe she got a little scared that something was wrong when she took her diaper off that time so she just won't do that again. I would make sure she knows that sometimes mommies, daddies or doctors have to check out all her parts, and that when you go see the doctor they give you medicine and make it better. And tell her to not have her "peepee" hurt she needs to go on the potty or get her butt changed.

I don't want to scare you, but I think you need to consider a question here. Has anyone else, like a sitter, or her father, or your boyfriend, ever given her a bath? If so, think of when that would have been and then of when she started to react so violently to your bathing her. Also, consider strongly, who is it that watches her while you work -could anything unusual have happened there? I pray that it is something much different, but kids don't usually suddenly decide that they don't like baths. Good luck in sorting all this out.

Also, my daughter as a toddler had a red bottom that ended up she couldn't handle bubble-baths (chemicals irritated her). Her Dr. should have realized that, but if you use bubble-baths you might want to try not using them for a while and see what happens.

B.

N.,
I would be concerned, but I'll also tell you this to ease your mind. My son got diaper rash once. It was bad! He had eaten a whole little box of cherry tomatoes at his grandmother house, and his stool was REALLY acidic. I could barely wipe him up. It lasted for about 2 and a half days, and each time I had to wash him off in the sink. I tried all sorts of things to make him feel better. Long story short, after that, he freaked out for about 2 months any time I got out the wipes to clean him up. He had it in his head that they stung, and didn't want anything to do with them! So maybe it's just a bad reaction to the UTI.
But I would still find someone who could help you out with making sure she hasn't be mistreated.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
B. S

Who is watching your child while you are at work? You may want to take a good look at them I hate to think that way but maybe something wierd is going on when you are not with her, you may want to ask your daughter a few questions. Or maybe she is just going thru a stage my 7 year old does not like to take baths and then I bought her a bath baby and once she is in with the baby she doesn't want to get out maybe get her some bath toys.

I too am a working mom.

Hi - the UTI is common & so are yeast infections - even at that age :) - Maybe see if she'll try a shower with you - make it seem like its the funnest thing in the world & she'll be missing out if she doesnt take one with you & she can bring toys if she wants! Also, it maybe more relaxing than soaking & easier to rinse the stuff off of her quickly! Even put her in with the diaper, it will get wet & fall off or tell her "Oh no it got wet - lets take it off so we can put a fresh one on" :) to that effect - You can get a shower massage or extension & let her do it & play with the water & Make it Fun :)Introduce the cute "Big Girl Undies" after a shower or two - Let her pick them out at Target, etc in her favorite character, princess, etc - make sure you show her your big girl undies, how cute they are - AND if there are any girls she plays with Point Out to her & have them tell her They wear Big Girl Undies Too! When she asks for certain things or you see some Neat toy she wants you point out "oh, thats for Big Girls that wear Undies" etc - may work - but she will go When She Wants!! b/c it is a power & control thing but adding some hints Really Help! But make sure she is medically ok first - if she needs to go natural & let her bottom heal, etc - Or - its getting Hot - Get the little pool out - that will be refreshing too! - Good Luck! S. ;)

Who is watching your daughter when you are working and WHAT are they doing to her?

My daughter had a UTI when she was 3, so it's not totally uncommon. We had just spent 2 weeks at the beach and a lake, so I think all the wet bathing suits had something to do with it!

It does sound like she's still having some pain, especially in the bath. You might try using a hand-held shower while she sits in the tub. Did this all happen when she had the UTI, all at the same time? Did she go on medication? Has the UTI cleared up? If so, the pain should be gone. Putting cornstarch powder on my daughter helped with the irritation.

Being in a wet diaper will only irritate her skin more and will not help the UTI. If you can, I'd try to put her in thick, absorbent undies at home during the day. (like 2 pairs of boy ones - they are thicker and softer than girl undies!) That way, when she pees in them, you can immediately change her and she can't sit around in a wet diaper. Or let her be naked. It may be the right time to potty train, since she doesn't want diaper changes anymore. My son trained before he was 2, so it's not too early.

Um - I may be WAY off base here, and I don't know your childcare situation... but has it occurred to you that she may have been hurt (touched inappropriately) by someone else during a diaper change? I don't want to freak you out, but I just can't help wondering and would be thinking about that possibility if it were my daughter. (I hope that's not the case.) Or maybe she just had a bad experience with diaper changes at childcare? Maybe they used a cream on her that burned? My son was very sensitive and the regular diaper creams would burn him - he'd scream and cry. We switched to Dr. Browns... it comes in a little tub and we got it at CVS... and that was much better for him. Good Luck.

Actually, I was wrong - it is Dr. Smith's Diaper creme.

While it is possible it could be something bad going on, it could be as simple as a phase she's going through. My son hated taking a bath from 6mo until at least 18mo and I had to take him in the shower with me. I was a SAHM so I know nothing happened to him other than around that time I took him in the pool with me for the first time and it was a little cold. I know some children are scared of the bath because of the drain, they are afraid they'll go down too, has she watched Nemo? He also HATED diaper changes! I tried to potty train early and it back fired, he wasn't day trained at all until after he was 3. The UTI could have been caused by holding her pee to long, like she wasn't ready to go on the potty so she withheld or maybe she really hates wet diapers so she held it. Call your pediatrician for advice and maybe ask the daycare about how often and how they change her, what they put on her, and if she reacts that way there.

I had the same "red flag" reaction as most of the others who responded. How verbal is she at 2? Can she tell you anything when you ask her why she's afraid of baths and diaper changes? What does her pediatrician say about how she might have caught the UTI, and how long it might have been affecting her?

I'm so sorry your daughter and you are having to go through this.

Pain with voiding is a real problem...it set me back even with natural infant hygiene (elimination communication). The poor kids just want to avoid anything to do with their nether regions.
It took my daughter some time to forget the pain and get back on track...a couple months. She had a bath phobia for a while too. i forget what I did...maybe bathed with her...took a shower?
Hang in there. I try not to embarass little ones...("you smell"...as we (adults) are the ones who thought up the diaper (go in your clothes) idea. Is it possible to have a few "naked days" ? (if you get to stay home)...it makes for easier toilet training...gets rid of skin irritations.
Eventually our kids want to do what we do and what we like...and that is a comfort to know!
If you can pinpoint the most noxious part of diaper changing (for her) maybe you can work around that too.

hi N.
i dont want to alarm you but she could be being sexually abused. who is her day care provider and how much do you know about them? set up an appt with pediatrician and have her checked out just to make sure.

best of luck
lori m

I am surprised that your Dr has not requested additional tests or suggested that you don't give her a bath any more. She might have urine reflexing into her uretha. It is quite common for Dr's to test for this right away these days. If you have ever had a bladder infection or UTI - the pain it causes has taken its toll on your little one and of course she wants to avoid the pain - just be patient, BUT check with your Dr - and keep her hydrated. The potting training will happen in time - if you don't stress about it she won't either. :)

If she no longer is hurting in her privates then hopefully she will enjoy baths again. But if she still doesn't then I wanted to tell you that my girl's screaming and crying with hair washing subsided after they had more swimming fun at the swimming pool, and became used to water coming over their face and in their ears. Then they also like to "swim" in the bath too. Then the trouble comes to get them out without screaming! You can't win! (one of my daughters is almost 2, the other is 5)

N.,
Sorry you & your daughter are going thru this...what bath products do you use on her? If you are using anything containing mineral oil, fragrance or dyes, then she is probably allergic, so therefor bathing is painful(or she may think that thats whats causing the pain) Since she had a UTI, then she was in pain & associates that with diaper changes & bathing..
I am a Consultant with arbonne International & we carry all natural, pure safe & beneficial products. Our ABC Babyline is excellent. I would be happy to send you a Free Sample. I use the ABC line on my son & he has never had diaper rash or any skin issues at all.
One of the Vps in our companys daughter had UTIs when she was a toddler until she discovered Arbonne's Products, which cleared that right up.
Email me if you would like any more information. And best of Luck to you & your daughter.
Warmly,
M. Moore
Arbonne Independant Consultant

When my son was 2 he decided on his own that he wanted to take showers like the rest of the family did. He's now 11 (soon to be 12) and has been taking showers ever since.

Your daughter may have gotten the UTI from the bath. Maybe not so much the water but the soap. Maybe she's associating her discomfort with the bathtub. Try the shower thing.

Not sure about the potty training other than girls take longer than boys and in my opinion....just give it up for now. She'll do it when she's ready. Have you ever known any child starting kindergarten in diapers? It took my daughter quite some time. At first she would only pee in the toilet then finally (on her own) she decided it was ok to use the toilet all the time. In some children it's a fear factor. You never know....one day she may decide it's time and that will be it!

Good luck.

My daughter is very sensitive "Down There" also, I cant use any soap in her bath. Actually she just showers now. After washing her hair while standing so soap doesnt get into her, then I lift her up to let the water clean her out thoroughly.
Also I dont use diaper wipes when she urinates. I just change the diaper. There is no odor, she doesnt smell like pee. She has never had a diaper rash from me doing this. Nor has any of my other children.

Hi N.,

My youngest daughter had multiple infections and they were back to back, turns out she had reflux of the ureter tubes. While a good portion of these cases go unnoticed and undiagnosed and they end up growing out of it, some need surgical repair, as was the case with my daughter.

I agree with the others that there is cause to be concerned about what may be going on, but there are other things that could definitley be causing her reaction. I would do some investigating and see a doctor again and ask about the posibility of the reflux. I had not even heard of it until about two months before my daughter was diagnosed with it and I thank heaven that I did know of it, because I was the one when they told me she had a UTI, that asked them to test for this and sure enough that is what it was.

Right now the weather is perfect for you to get one of those little pools and see if she reacts the same in the pool as in the tub, if not I would say there is a problem with her being mistreated. If she reacts the same way in the little pool then I would say it has more to do with health issues or the connection she has made with water to the pain.

Good luck and God bless you both.

D.

My daughter went through almost the exact same thing! A UTI will definitely make her not want to go pee pee in the toilet since it burns so much and the red 'rash' is painful when cleaned with wipes. As for the bath, the warmer water may make it hurt 'down there' also. My daughter's dr. suggested showers - not too hot, since baths may lead to, or worsen, UTI's since the bath water gets soapy and dirty then washes right into there genital area. Showers help rinse soap and dirt away much better. As for diaper changes, we used rinsed out unscented wipes or a wet wash cloth to wipe her clean (if it was really messy, I just put her in the tub and rinsed her down in the shower). Potty training we put on hold until she let us know she was ready, although we had her potty chair available and the sticker chart up when she chose to use them. Sometimes I got a bit anxious about her being 3 years old and not potty-trained, but the doctor told me it was normal for kids, esp. those who had experienced UTI's and bad diaper rashes, to be reluctant to use the potty seat since the air hitting the acidic urine can make the pain worse. Kids remember those bad experiences much more than the good experiences, but with patience and encouragement, rather than nagging, all kids come around eventually. It took her being free from UTI's and yeast infections (her yeast infections it turns out were caused by fruit juice allergy) for almost a year for her to be "brave" to try the potty (as well as peer models at daycare). She was potty-trained by 3 1/2. Her doctor still wants us to have her take showers rather than baths though, since her system is so sensitive to infections of any kind.

Is it possible that something may have happened to her down there? Like someone touched her inapporpriately or something of that nature.

I remember my son freaked out about the water when he was 3 all of a sudden, then it just stopped. that could be a phase.

Hi!

I had a the same problem. She eventually grew out of it. About the bath, my mom got her a really cool bath toy it was a fish that moved in the water. Or you could let her pick any bath toy of find a really good one your self. It may make a difference. I promise she will eventually will grow out of it. With summer comming she might like a swimmming pool and that might get her used to it again. As far as diapering - just try to distract her with a song or a fun toy. Redirection is really the best thing for everything! If I don't make a big deal about it, act like it is like my everday activity and distract with a song or toy- hopefully that will work. As far as potty training - when she is ready she will let you know. I had a daughter that did the same thing, so i didn't press the issue and let her decide. When She decided she did it and did not have accidents. She just had to do it on her terms (she was almost three - but that is o.k.). They just want to feel like they are in control! Good luck!

MJM

After all the other issues are ruled out (UTI, soaps, touched innapropriately), you can maybe just have her wear her undies so you don't have to change her diaper. But not if she's going to be traumatized even more. Or just have her walk around with nothing on (at your house only...not at the caregivers...). You can also take showers at night together if that makes sense.

Please let us know what has happened.