Is This Happening to Anyone Else?

Hello A.,
That just sounds horrible for your little boy. I must say that I think either the teacher does not like you, your son, or your son doesn't like her; or a combination of all of the above. Is there a different class your son could go to? I would approach the teacher and aid (if there is one) about the situation, ask her why she thinks she has so many problems when the previous teacher only had praises for him. If at the end of the conversation you have accomplished nothing, go to the administrator. If your little one use to love going to class and now throws a tantrum about not wanting to go; I would take that seriously. Especially if he is still not having a good time at the end of the day (my daughter will have a fit that she doesn't want to go and then 5 min after I leave she is having a blast). If by the end of the week you have no solution, I would start job searching or babysitting searching. Sorry to hear you are having these problems, having a provider both you and your child adore is Extremely Important.

Hi A., unfortunately I'm in that situation right now. I moved my child to a montessori school thinking montessori might be good for him because they are supposed to celebrate and develop a child's individuality. Actually in my opinion the preschool teacher(s) there expected my child to be quiet and compliant, and if his "individuality" is not quiet and compliant, it's a problem.

I feel like the teacher gave up on him. As soon as the teacher decided my son was a problem, I feel like she shut down on him, that rather than think "how can I help this boy succeed in this environment," instead I feel like she enrolled the school's director in immediately putting him on the "official" path toward expulsion.

So I gave notice to the school, but they won't waive our two week's notice even though they keep kicking my son out of school! I explained to them that I understand the two week notice is their policy but that clearly this is a bad situation not only for my (disruptive) son but also for their teachers and the other kids in the class. But the owner said NO. So now I get randomly called home from work when my son has been "expelled" for the day, even though they are still taking my money for their "services" yet they won't let us leave. It's a terrible situation.

Every child can be taught, directed, inspired, but it takes a teacher who cares and wants to make a difference. If this teacher your child has only wants compliant kids in her class becuase then her job is easy, well, that's a poor excuse for a teacher. Now that I have had experience with a master-degreed preschool teacher, I feel like it's not education that makes a great "teacher", it's someone who cares enough to try to want to help all kids succeed...even the hard ones. Maybe especially the hard ones. Give me a loving and nurturing high-school graduate who really loves kids any day!!

My advice is that schools are always looking for great teachers. If talking to this teacher and the director of your school doesn't help, then start looking for a new daycare to work for and get your child out of that situation. Even the best daycare center is wrong for your child if his teacher is bad. Listen to your child--if it appears he's not thriving--if the teacher only sees bad and doesn't celebrate what's good about your child--get him out of there. Good luck--please let us know what happens!

My 3.5 year old had a teacher and they were best buds and she ended up leaving to go back to being nurse. Ever since then 3 times week I would hear how he acts up and I had to come get him several times. Sometimes after I just got to work!! I sometimes think its the teachers, the ones he HAD there were young with no kids. That makes a HUGE difference. If you like it there ask to be changed. If they don't work with you go somewhere else.

Is there a way to observe him in daycare? You could see how he is treated and how he treats others. I'm not saying that this is his fault by any means. It sort of sounds like he got on the teacher's bad side and she can't let it go. It's very immature on her part. Any chance you know any of the other parents with children in the class. Are they getting the same treatment? Do their children see the same behavior from the teacher? If one kid is getting picked on by the teacher,chances are the other kids notice it. Perhaps you should go directly to the principal or administrator and explain the situation. Is there another class your son could attend? I absolutely hate to even think that a teacher would single out a little kid like that. It's just so incredibly immature and irresponsible. I hope that you and your little guy can find an answer fast!

I also used to work in a daycare and unfortunately did witness situations where children were singled out by teachers and somewhat "picked on". Since she is new I might think that she needs time to adjust, however, it sounds like it is affecting your son and your work. I would take the problem to your director. You've tried talking to the teacher and if she is observing things (or at least claiming to) that are rare you should be worried and it is the center Director's responsibility to help you all work through this. I'm sure you know that as a daycare teacher you really don't need to report every single incident to parents and if you are constantly getting a negative report she should be documenting incidents such as swearing, at least in an observational journal.

I have to wonder if the teacher's issue is with you and not your son. There is no way a teacher should be making a 3yr old feel not welcome in her class. If you both work for the same place, I would talk to a supervisor. This change was obviously brought on by her taking over that class, not your son.

You mention that you work there and that you've approached the teacher and didn't get very far. Talk to her/your supervisor. Arrange to try to observe your child 'in action'. If you can, try to observe at a time where she does not know nor does your child know that you are observing. I'm not saying to do it behind her back; simply ask her if she will agree to you observing unannounced or without her knowledge. She could indeed be very cold, distant, uncaring, and picking on your child. Your child could be very upset about losing him former teacher and acting out in response to the loss PLUS the different personality of the new teacher.

Get more data on the situation, both from her supervisor and from watching the class. From there it should be pretty easy to make a decision.

Hello A.,
This absolutely sounds horrible. You are far from overreacting. I would pull my child out of the situation. I am sure you get a great price for care since you work there but I would want to put your child through that stress. At the age of 3 what can he really do that is "all bad". I am so sorry to hear of such treatment. I would definately report her to the higher bee's. It does sound like she is threatened by you or something. I hope this works out for you both. I hate to hear this! But, my 2 cents is get him out of there! Good luck!

I would speak with the previous caregiver and tell her what's going on. She may have had issues that she just didn't think was a big enough deal to talk with you about, or since you work there, maybe she was afraid of creating any tension between the two of you. Plus, it could be that your son is having trouble adjusting with the new caregiver's rules. It's got to be hard at that age to have one set of rules, and then get switched to another set all of a sudden. Plus, maybe some of the other kids are being mean to him without being seen and he's just reacting to their behavior.

Hi A.. I also work in a preschool/daycare and have had fellow staff members kids. It is easy to tell a co-worker about the little stuff the child does during the day, because they are in the same situation and you figure they understand. But you should never tell a co-worker stuff about their kids that you wouldn't tell any other parent. And any teacher that has nothing nice to say to the parents day after day is not in the right profession. You are still a parent of the school, whether you work there or not. Take your concerns to the director, as any parent would. If he/she doesn't investigate and deal to your satisfaction, then look for other accomodations. The focus SHOULD be on the child, and his comfort and nurture.