C.J. asks from Jacksonville, FL on July 07, 2008
Is It Normal for My Son to Want to Sleep with Me
my three year has his own bed specifically designed with car stuff from the Disney movie Cars. My son still wants to sleep only with me. How do I kick him out without kicking him out. I want him to be able to come to him if he's scared or sick. But I want him to sleep in his own bed.
T.A. answers from Daytona Beach on July 07, 2008
Yes, it is normal. Nothing wrong with it. But if you want him to get used to a routine and sleeping in his own bed, which you probably have a routine of the same time every night after his bath, letting him pick out a book for you to read while laying down in his bed or sitting next to his bed while he lays down to listen to you read to him. Even if he wants the same book every night, that's ok. And let him know that this is his bed and let him put whatever stuffed animals he wants in his bed with him or if he wants an extra pillow. Or new sheets if he wants. And make a special plan for him in the morning, that if he stays in his bed, he gets a star up on the fridge, and when he gets 3 stars, he gets to go to the park down the street and play. Give him a goal. He's not too young to understand getting a star every night he sleeps in his own bed is going to get him a reward. It will create a habit of him sleeping in his own bed. If he comes into your room, take him back to his bedroom and talk to him and remind him about the stars. You can even leave a nightlight on for him if he wants. Good luck.
M.F. answers from Orlando on July 08, 2008
We had same problem... We allowed them to come in if scared and sleep on a sleeping bag "next to the bed" then after first night you move the bad closer to your door, each time until they can stay in their own bed.
A.G. answers from Jacksonville on July 08, 2008
My kids are 2 and 3 and they go through spurts where they want to sleep with me. They will come in the middle of the night sometime. If it's just once I will usually let them get in my bed til they fall back asleep, then I move them back to their own beds. If it starts to become regular I get their pillow and blanket and let them sleep on the floor by my bed for the rest of the night. After a night of two of that they stop coming in. That way they have the security of me being there, but they don't get into the habit of needing to be in mty bed. I like to make sure that they have their pillow and blanket so that it's the same as when they are in their own bed.
M.H. answers from Dallas on July 08, 2008
It's completely normal and natural, he wants to feel closeness and comfort. If you think about it, we weren't naturally made to sleep in completely separate rooms all alone. I would set up a loving bedtime routine like the previous poster said; let him know you adore him and set aside a good chunk of time for putting him down. Be patient. He'll out grow it. I let my oldest sleep with us whenever he wanted- by his 4th birthday he stopped wanting to.
P.E. answers from Panama City on July 08, 2008
When He gets in your bed move into his bed.
A.M. answers from Daytona Beach on July 14, 2008
It is very normal for children to want their mothers and they long for the comfort and safety of moms presence at bedtime.
I have a 2 1/2 year old who ask each night to go to "Daddy's bed". The best advice I can give you is to overcome one obsticle at a time. First, get him into his bed which will most likely mean you laying down with him. Once he is easily going to bed in his bed with you start moving toward the door. The second step, you lay on the floor beside his bed while he falls asleep. Move closer to the door each time you feel HE is ready. Soon you will be lying in the doorway and almost in your bed.
T.R. answers from Orlando on July 08, 2008
My three year old has a big ole fancy bed, with a slide and everything. And he still will not sleep in it. He was so excited about his big boy bed and helped us pick everything out, yet he is still not interested in sleeping in it. He has co-slept with me for a few years, until recently. I had a baby 5 weeks ago and I have to tell you that a screaming baby in the middle of the night has cured him of sleeping with me. However he still sleeps in the guest bed. I know it is so weird. My husband works the night shift so I am alone and it is not a big deal. I figure it is not hurting anything if he wants to sleep with us. If you really want to move him out you just have to be diligent and have patience. Move him back to his bed eachtime he gets up with you. Dont make a big production out of it, just take him back there. Have a nighttime routine that includes his bed, like special story time in his bed or something. I did all this before with our son and it worked, but while I was pregnant I got lazy. Then I was on bedrest and it was just easier to have him back in there.
I found that it was actually easier to get him to sleep in his own bed once I started working on it. At first he would fall asleep in there and then show up in my room. Then he would be moved three or four times a night. It slowly dwindled till he slept all night in his room. But like I said I got lazy, the first time you let them come back it all falls apart!
Oh and I also talked to him about his room. Finding out if there was something he was afraid of, or something that he did not like about his bed. He was worried about the tent area underneath, so I made monster spray in a spray bottle and we took care of them! LOL Also we set up some of his bigger stuffed animals in there to protect him at night. Then we hung a couple of pictures of me, my husband and my sons grandparents around. It seemed to help.