Infant Not Nursing Well

K.,hang in there. My son would take up to 1 1/2 hours to eat the first 6 weeks!!! They like to take their time, as we all should while eating. Why are you using breast sheilds? has your LC suggested you do so? Sometimes those things can cause more harm than good. If you are sore make sure he is latching right and give it some time for your nipples to adjust. As long as you are not cracked and bleeding you are probably all right. Try some lanolin after every feeding and make sure not to use any soap on your nipples in the shower, it dries out your skin. Good luck to you both and know you can do it!! C.

I wish I'd had something like Mamasource when I was trying to nurse my first baby (boy). I had a terrible time trying to get him to nurse and felt like a complete failure as a mother when we finally just decided to bottle feed (he would however "comfort nurse" until he was 4 months). But after having breastfeed my second child (for 13 months) I realize that it's not how you feed your child, but rather that you just love them unconditionally and you'll be a great mother!

However, it did take my daughter and I at least 3 months before we got even remotely good at nursing (although I never had to supplement and she was fat and healthy). Not a day during those first few months went by without a thought of quitting, but I'm glad I stuck it out, no matter how hard it was.

I never had to use a nipple shield, but I know what you mean about a tiny mouth (and a breast as big as their tiny heads). It does get easier the bigger your baby gets, so keep that in mind. You said he falls asleep while nursing, have you tried just waking him before he would normally eat to see if he will latch on a little better while he's still half-asleep? I found my daughter would latch on well if I caught her before she started crying in hunger.

You said he pushes you away and turns his head and cries? Could there be something in your diet that he's smelling in your milk that he doesn't like?

The good news is that you are able to pump and have no problems with producing milk, so that's one thing in your corner. And the fact that you are still breastfeeding is another. So if you really want to continue, I say just keep trying and hopefully things will get better (they did with me) and if you decide it's too stressful (as I did with my son) there is no shame in bottle feeding or supplementing (or even pumping and bottle feeding). You are obviously a wonderful mother who loves her baby very, very much!

Good luck with your baby. It ALL gets easier as they get older.

I am not an expert by any means but I just had my 2nd baby who is now 6 weeks old and the thing that has really helped me is the book Baby Wise. I think it really helps you to see that your baby is getting enough to eat even if she/he has short nursing times. Sometimes my girl will only nurse for 5-10 minutes on one side and yet she is still having the correct # of wet diapers and is still thriving.

As far as the latching on that is a different story but it might help if you know the baby is actually hungry, not just rooting like they are programmed to do.

Take this for what it is worth to you. Hope things work out.

Jenn

I am sorry to hear you are having such trouble with this! I do have a few tips, even though my daughter was pretty easy, she was anxious, but did the pushing thing, she always fell asleep, but she ate really fast (about 3-5 minutes per breast!)

Tips:
1. swaddle him before feedings, this will keep him from being able to push away and helps you be able to latch him on properly! I am not sure what you mean by a nipple shield, I have never heard of this!

2. when you notice him drifting, tickle him, un-swaddle him, move him around a little, just to keep him awake! Another thing is, try switching him to your other breast when he starts drifting, that way, it gives the first breast time to really fill up (hopefully help him get a little more at a time) and maybe the big movements will get him alert again!

3. when he does the sucking a lot and then breathing (my daughter did this for a little while) is your breast in his face at all? or is he just sucking too fast? My daughter sucked really hard and really fast and I had to hold my breast back, cause it was so hard for her to just open her mouth and breath, unless I gave her that extra room!

4. as far as him taking forever, our doctors were concerned and told me that babies should nurse about 10-15 minute per breast, but my daughter gained weight just fine, so they quit worrying, since she was growing and obviously getting enough in her! I have heard from a lot of nursing moms that they usually nurse for a good half hour, so don't feel like he is just wasting time!

With these struggles, if you can pump well (sounds like you can, but I don't know what is normal, I always got 6 oz off each breast after a feeding!) there is always the option to just pump and feed him from a bottle! This way you can monitor how much he is getting and if it seems to go easier, it may take the stress off you and still give him the nutrients! Also, it may be so hard because you are stressed out! Good luck, I hope it works out for you!

Good luck, take care,
C.

My suggestion is BOTTLE FEED!!!!!!!!You have tried long and hard enough.Switch to formula.He's already gotten all the antibodies he needs anyway within the first couple weeks.Save yourself the stress and him!!!!

My son had a lot of the same issues you are having. One of the major issues was his impatience and he was a little lazy. He would get so worked up into a frenzy because the flow was not fast enough for him, or he had to suck to much. It would be impossible to keep him latched on and even the lactation consultant could not get him calmed down enough to stay latched. Both he and I were so frazzled and on edge each time we tried that I finally made a decision...I decided to pump and bottle feed him. I did this for four and a half months and would have continued, but I have lupus and had to stop nursing to return to my medication. It was a bit time consuming, but got easier and I was lucky and could pump about forty ounces in just four or five fifteen minute sessions a day. The downfall is that once my son became old enough, his awareness of what I was doing increased and he became a bit "jealous", so it was hard to find the right time to pump. Please do not feel like a failure. Sometimes things just do not work out for some reason or another and with this option, you are still providing your son with breast milk...do yourself a favor and collect all of the information you can about pumping, storing, transferring containers etc. I was finding things out for four months that no one told me and I thought I was well informed. Please feel free to contact me if I can help in any way... I am overflowing with information on the subject. Trust me, if you decide to go the route I did, the weight will automatically lifted and you and your son can enjoy your time together instead of stressing out over feeding him.

i had many of the same problems with my son and some of these problems with my daughter as well. with my son i ended having to switching to pumping breast milk and feeding him with a bottle because he got so upset trying to nurse that after a while he just started bawling as soon as we sat down to nurse. it's great that you are pumping milk, you don't want to lose your milk supply. i would recommend giving your son the chance to nurse, but if he starts to get frustrated, just pump and let him finish with a bottle. he's still getting breast milk that way and your milk supply wil stay where it should be, and you have time to bond without crying and getting upset. don't let your son get to the point where he doesn't want to nurse because it's too stressful for him. it took my son until he was about five months old before he was ready to nurse regularly again. most likely your son will eventually get the hang of nursing. and don't feel like it's your fualt, everyone mom i know had a hard time nursing their first child. it's a lot harder than it looks, for your and baby! just hang in there and i'm sure things will work out fine. good luck!

my daughter fought nursing as well. One position that i found that she liked was laying down (of all things)...lay on your side with the baby facing you (and you might bring a toy or something to hold his attention and help keep him awake a little bit while doing it). I also got to the point where I would just pump to a bottle...then my daughter was still getting the breast milk, but it wasn't nearly as frusterating...and we still had our bonding moments while I was bottle feeding her. Good Luck!!

I'm most concerned about your baby's fighting you when he goes to your breast. You mentioned he sucks a little & then breathes a lot. You may have a strong, fast let down which can feel overwhelming to a little guy who may not be able to cope with it yet - imagine a fire hose in your mouth! Then remembering that, he may not be eager to repeat the experience. It's true that young babies like to doze at the breast a lot; but some near-term babies also sort of shut down when they are stressed.
Another possibility is that he just hasn't coordinated his suck-swallow-breathe yet, which could be exhausting for him too.
Even though you've seen a lactation consultant once, and it sounds like your milk supply is good (it's great that's a problem you don't have!), I would suggest you see the same or a different lc again. There are many good suggestions here already, but by observing a feed, she can put the pieces together to get you moving toward that relaxed nursing you are wanting.
I'll send you a private message with a name, since I'm not sure it's appropriate on the public responses.

Hi K., first, congratulations on your baby boy! Your note brings back many memories....The fist 6 weeks of breastfeeding my daughter was one of the toughest, frustrating times in my life. I experienced a lot of the same things as you did, plus it was very painful for me. I cried with each breastfeeding. My daughter would also spend 45 min nursing, falling asleep in the middle of it many times....then as soon as I put her down she would spit it all out....less than an hour later, she would be hungry again. She also had difficulty latching on or maybe it was my lack of experience. Unfortunately, there aren't any magic answers...The lactose consultant told me that maybe I should just pump and give up on the breastfeeding!....She was not at all supportive. But, my family and friends were extremely supportive, they called me everyday telling me to hang in there, that it would get better. And believe it or not, it did get better!! I think it was persistence, eventually both my daughter got into a routine and we knew what to do....she still kept spitting up for several months after that which was frustrating, but eventually that went away too. In retrospect, I would do it all over again, I loved the quiet time with my daughter, the closeness, the bondness we gained from the breastfeeding...And the main reason I did not give up was the health benefits of breast milk, formulas are not the same. Even today they continue to find new things in breast milk that is not in formula....but with that said, if you are not happy, there is nothing wrong with switching to formula either. I had a girlfriend who ended up making that choice, and she now has a beautiful 8 yr old healthy daughter. The most important thing is that you and your baby are happy and bonding....Good Luck!

Congratulations on your new baby boy!! I understand how frustrating it can be. We had a lot of the same problems. It really is all about positioning. Alot of our problems were solved when I started using the football hold. My anatomy is such that my nipples point outward and that is the only way we can comfortably breastfeed. Also, when he was that young, I had to roll up a sock and place it under my breast to support it or he would stop nursing. I don't know why this was - couldn't breathe, whatever, but it was something to do with how large my breasts were, I don't remember why but it was suggested by the lactation consultant.

Latching on - does it hurt? Did the lactation consultant watch you feed him. Did she say he was latching on properly. Just because he doesn't have much of the areola doesn't necessarily mean he is not latched on properly. My areolas are HUGE! So, to me, he doesn't have much in his mouth, but we have been breastfeeding successfully for 5 months so it's obviously working fine.

As for time, my son took FOREVER to feed. I would spend 45 min at least at a feeding during is first month. As he got older, he got more efficient at suckling, but he still takes about 30 minutes to eat most of the time. He is just a slow eater. Also, as a newborn, he took alot of breaks and needed a lot of breathers. I took this time to burp him and wake him up (undress him, change his diaper). Newborns are sleepyheads and nursing just naturally puts them to sleep because of the hormones. If you can't get him to wake up and be interested in feeding, let him sleep about 30 min and try again. Also, make sure you can hear swallowing. If he is falling asleep and is sucking very lightly, he probably isn't actually nursing. So it will feel like you are nursing him for 30 to 40 minutes, but he didn't get anything to eat so he will still be starving.

When your son pushes the nipple out, it could be for several reasons. These are the four reasons my son he pushed the nipple out.
1. He just wanted to suck so I gave him a pacifier. Sometimes, they just need to suck. I thought my son was always hungry too, and I was miserable until I realized he just needed to suck. I was really against pacifiers at first, but I changed my mind when I realized it save my sanity. It is different with every baby, but my son spent half his awake time just sucking because that's what he wanted. And if I put him on the breast to feed, he would get angry because he didn't want milk and would get over full.
2. He needed to burp. I know they say nursing babies don't really need a lot of burping, but some do. My son did. And they will freak out and come off your breast if that's what they need because it is painful
3. Letdown too strong. During the first month, we had a lot of problems with this. You have milk that quenches his thirst while he sucks before you let down the hindmilk. This let down of the hindmilk can be really strong and sometimes will squirt out very hard and choke and/or scare the baby. You could try pumping first to get your milk flowing then feed him, or a position that utilizes gravity to keep the release from being to strong - talk to your lactation consultant or la leche. Me, I just let him come off, and then attach again and he was fine.
4. He was gassy (or needed to poop). They can't suck and fart/poop at the same time. My son was very gassy, so we had whole days where he would cry through the entire nursing session because he would eat, cry, fart, cry, eat. Also, when he was about 1 month, my son begain having problems pooping. We had alot of the same problems then.

They don't have much control over their arms, so just hold them to his sides if they get in the way of latching on. You won't hurt him. If you are struggling with him staying awake, though, I would advise against swaddling him while eating, because that will make him want to sleep more.

As long as breastfeeding isn't painful and he is gaining weight like he should, then I wouldn't worry and hang in there you are doing fine. Try to relax, because, although it s very frustrating, if you worry about it too much it won't help. Also, if you are just tired of it, there is nothing wrong with formula. Or bottlefeeding breastmilk. The most important thing is he is getting enough to eat and that you are bonding and happy. Because if this is keeping you from bonding with your baby, or stresses you too much, then breastfeeding is doing more harm then good. Good luck

So, my biggest piece of advice to you is to join the Yahoo Breastfeeding group. They are a great bunch of REALLY knowledgeable women. Also, I recently read a post from a woman with over supply issues, sounds like you're having some of the same symptoms - maybe pump before you nurse? Sounds wrong, but worked for her. Something about being overly engorged makes it hard for them to latch. And about the sleepy baby, did you have a c section? I know that my son was awful to keep awake, but I had been warned that he would be extra sleepy (for about 6 weeks or so) after that kind of delivery. Good luck!

First of all, realize you are not alone. Breastfeeding was not at all easy with our son (also our first). I had issues or soreness and had issues knowing when he was latched properly. I went to see a lactation consultant every other day for about 3 weeks. It did get better with time though. I found it was very dependent on where I nursed. Not so much the surroundings for him as sitting in a chair that would enable me to position him correctly. Secondly, my best friend was also nursing. The best thing for me (and I am a very modest person so this was extremely difficult and a sign of how "at my wits end" I was) was to sit with her and she would either watch and provide suggestions or we would nurse at the same time whenever I was comfortable. Although I wanted to purely breastfeed, I did supplement. We found that our son was not getting enough and was hungry. Perhaps your baby is hungry and that is why he fights you. My son decided he was done at 6-months and I pumped an additional 2 months. I am a firm believer that breast milk is the best for your baby, but I also think that there is nothing wrong with doing the best you can and then switching to or supplementing with formula. Your baby will only be this age once and you should enjoy it. That is the most important part. You have tried to breast feed and your baby has gotten an awesome start. Not that I am suggesting you swith to enitirely formula yet, but if you get to that point, there is nothing wrong with that. Enjoy this time and good luck! Know that there are many of us out there that breast feeding was not the easiest thing by far! There is a good book called The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding that you might also find use from. I ready it when I was having a difficult time and it was a good source of ideas.

HI! I had the same problem with my daughter, but she was tongue tied and couldn't latch on properly. I just decided that because I wanted the best for her that I would pump breast milk and bottle feed and I did that for a year. Will he take a bottle? I am disappointed that I didn't get to experience breastfeeding but I am glad she got the best I could give her by pumping for her. I don't know if that helps at all. Hang in there!!

My son (born 6/9/06) was the same way, though I did not use a breast shield or anything. My suggestion, and it's a tough one, is one I heard a lactation consultant tell another gal while I was attending a breastfeeding support group at my hospital: stop giving up the fight and giving him a bottle, which is always immediate to give milk and is faster and doesn't stop, like a breast. Your breasts are still getting used to how much your baby needs. Once he learns, and it doesn't take that long, that he gets the breast and you aren't going to give up working with him on latching, he'll get better. I must say, I did not pour milk like you do, you lucky gal, because I knew I had to go back to work at 6 weeks which put a huge damper on my production. Just feed him whenever he wants, and keep trying to stay calm when he starts to freak out. You're doing it right! :o) It seems crazy and a bit hopeless at first, and kind of like it'll never get better, but if your baby is gaining weight fine and is healthy, no worries! I commend you for keeping with it. You can do it, and you're doing a good job!
You can always go to a La Leche League meeting where lots of very experienced moms can help you with your baby's latch and other things and give you moral support. Go to http://www.lllusa.org/COWY/CO.html to find a meeting close to you. They also have great chats and things on-line. Good luck!

My son was also born at 37.5 weeks and he acted a lot like your son for his first month or so, always hungry, nursing for long periods of time, and falling asleep while nursing. But I he was still gaining weight, as is your son, so I didn't worry about it too much. I think relaxing and telling yourself it will be okay will help a lot. I would also eliminate the bottle, because that will not help him become a better nurser. With a little more time and practice my son became an excellent nurser, and yours will too.

I am nursing 10 month old twins who were 5 weeks early, we went through all of this. Don't worry about STILL needing the nipple shield, it is okay, my girls were almost 4 months old before they could get it without the nipple shield, and at 4 months were still nursing for about a half an hour a piece, I understand your frustration. You may also try getting a smaller nipple sheild or one of medela contact shields, which allows your baby to have less silicon and more of your skins. You are not a failure, you are wonderful mother for trying and seeking advice. If you try to massage your breast before feeding to stimulate let down and then let it dribble into his mouth, i found this helped with my girls, no matter how messy it was. You may also try feeding before he is telling you he is hungry. I know, almost impossible when he seems to be hungry all day, but the most important thing I can say is keep at it as long as you are willing, it is a tremendous experience I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

First off congrats!!! 2nd I nursed all of my 3 children...the 1st was ugly, the 2nd was wonderful, and the 3rd started off ugly but I stuck with it I didn't want to quit!

I think you are really stressed out. People seems to think that it is the easyest thing to do, but it is not!! If your baby is grow don't worry. He will come around. Nipple shields are not a bad thing...if I would have had one with my 1st I would not have stopped when I did.

He is falling asleep because he is right where he wants to be. Can you blame him! : ) I would just put him down every time he falls asleep. Take it from me it sucks...he will catch on soon!

Don't give up!

K.;

I sympathize with you completely. I think very few women can say that they NEVER had problems of one kind or another with nursing. It seems, also, like it is harder with the first child since you don't know what to expect. You are NOT a failure, you have a healthy baby who is gaining weight and "thriving". I remember so well the feeling that you should wake them up to feed them. my mom thought I was nuts to do it. I even put a cold can of soda against my daughter's cheek this summer, because i was convinced she would starve if I didn't wake her up to feed her (it didn't really work either. Just ticked her off and made me anxious!)

Here are some suggestions I hope will help:

Positioning is everything. It will help to keep you from getting sore, keep your back from hurting, prevent mastitis, and ensure that your baby is nursing efficiently. When you are helping your baby to latch on, be sure that his nose is free to breathe, not presseed against your breast. Just peek at him and make sure there is an airway. Make sure your feet are up on a footstool and that baby is positioned well on a pillow or a boppy (do you have a boppy? they are really wonderful!) No doubt you have been experimenting with different nursing positions. The ones that worked best for me were cradle-hold and side-lying. I'm sure cradle hold is familiar to you. Side lying is where you lay down (in your bed) and lay baby down beside you to nurse on your lowest breast. Don't need to use any pillows. This is great because it allows you to doze off if you are tired.

When you place your nipple in his mouth, ensure that he opens WIDE first, and then when he does get a latch, make sure his lips are not curled up and his tongue is on the underside of your nipple.

Curious, are you wearing the brest shields because of soreness?
My second baby pushed away and did that frantic "searchin" by turning her head side to side. This is the rooting reflex. Her's seemed a bit misguided, but she eventually figured it out and stopped all that. It could be that it is difficult for your baby to "find" you by smell because of the nipple shields.

Are you certain that the baby is always hungry? I also thought that my baby was sooo hungry, but it turned out she just wanted to suck. I finally gave her a pacifier and it worked out much better.

As far as the pumping goes, I used to pump for about 5 minutes before I fed my first baby because the flow was so strong she would cough and choke. I froze it all in my deep freeze for when I went back to work. After about 8 weeks, she adjusted better, and I didn't have to do that anymore.

All of this being said, sometimes, for whatever reason it just doesn't work out. My sister had a helluva time breastfeeding both of her boys, and she pumped for both of them and gave her breast milk to them by bottle for a full year. I know I could never have done that, but she did.

It' so hard to keep newborns awake for feeding time, but eventually they will stay awake. It seems liek you are doing all of the right things.

Also, keep in mind that you are at 4 weeks post-partum. Hormones are falling away sharply now, giving birth to anxieties, depression, and mood changes. These, coupled with slepless nights can do a whopper on the old frustration level. Take a breather. Relax. My mom never breast fed me, and I still love her. We can only do the best we can do for our children, and sometimes that means fessing up to ourselves. You are almost past the hardest part of brest feeding. Don't give up! feel free to message me if you need to talk.

How frustrating! Congrats for sticking with it--many Moms would have quit. Hang in there--you're probably over the worst of it and it will get better soon. If I were you, I would probably continue to supplement with the bottle (you will want to do this anyway so you have some freedom). Your baby is gaining weight, so this isn't a health issue, it's more about his pattern of nursing. It takes time to get a rhythm with your baby--it's new for both of you and requires patience. Hang in there, don't worry about him getting enough to eat. (If you're worried, you can count his wet diapers in a day and that will tell you if he's getting enough.) I would probably go ahead and let him fall asleep at first and then wake up starving--it obviously relaxes him enough to sleep and then he's hungry. Also, 30 minutes isn't too awfully long in my experience, he will get better at it and nurse in 10-15 minutes as he gets bigger. Be patient, hang in there, he will figure it out as he gets older and you will end up having a postive experience. Four weeks is still early to have any kind of good nursing pattern--give it at least another month before you worry too awfully much--again he is getting the nutrition, he just needs some time to figure out the pattern. Good luck!

My son had this same problem for a while when I first started nursing as well. Sometimes, I would cry from the pain because he wasn't latched on completely.
But it may be that your breast may be to big for him. That was my problem. (Ha ha, not anymore, I went from a size D, before I was pregnant to a DD while nursing to a B after I stopped nursing) But I found that if I put my pointer and index finger on each side of my nipple and pulled back my boob so the nipple stood out more that it was easier for him to catch it.
good luck and congrats on the new babe.

I had a very similar problem and it was a nightmare. A friend of mine told me about nipple shields and they totally saved nursing for us! They are at Target in the bottle isle (in a yellow and white package) they make your nipple like a bottle, help the baby get on and stay on. Seriously a life saver.

Augie nursed for a long time too, I don't know what to say about that part. I was an on-demand mom and I guess just hang in there. It won't be forever.

Best of luck with nursing. It is super hard but way worth it! Hang in there

K.

K.,
I had a similar problem with my second child. I found that she just wasn't comfortable at all. I found it easier to lay down on my side and feed her that way. She got all she needed and she was comfortable and so was I.
As far as the fussyness goes, it seems he may have a tiny bit of nipple confusion, my suggestion for that is since you are already pumping regularly, you just just try bottle feeding him, instead of the breast. There is still that bonding that takse place while you are feeding him, because you are holding him, and sticking to one source may be a lot easier for him too.
By the way after my second child, I fed the two after that they same way, and didn't have any problems.
I hope these suggestions work for you. I can relate to how stressful breast feeding can be. Good luck.

H.

I'm not sure if I can offer you any advice that you haven't already heard but I cn offer you some comfort. You are not a failure as a mother. I am kind of having the same problem. When my daughter who is now seven months, when she was first born it hurt like hell to breast feed her. She latched on wrong all the time and no matter what I did so matter what position we were in nothing worked. My nipples hurt so bad that I even thought of giving up on breast feeding her sometimes I regreted wanting to do it. And it just got worse after my milk came in. I was so engorgered and nothing helped to let the milk come out. I tried the hot shower the cold wash clothes breastfeeding and pumping, everything you can think of I tried it. I didn't know what to do because I never had the same problem with my first child. So all that feeling was new to me as well. Well with my youngest child I was concerned with her weight because she was born at 37.5 weeks as well but she only weighed 5Ibs and 11oz and when we left the hospital she weighd about 5.5Ibls and I had to supplement her uintil my milk came in. Well when my milk finally came in I felt she still wasn't getting enough to eat so I took her to the Breastfeeding Clinic and she was gaining weight just fine and she was getting enough to eat as well. All of her doctor visits have gone well also. She is now seven months old, I still breastfeed her and it is not easy. She is teething now so its very uncomfortable for me and its getting painful once again, and she acts like she is hungry every ten secnds. She cries every time she sees me, everytime I go to put her down, she even cries when I give her to my husband. There are even times it takes me awhile to pick her up because all she wants is to be held. When she does eat she eats for about 15mins total, shes getting enough to eat but still shes acts like she is constatly hungry. She started sleeping about eight hours a night when she was about three months old and stopped when she was 4 months old and even now at seven months she still only sleeps about 5 hours at night before she wakes up wanting food. I can't pump because she associates the bottle with a chew toy. I thought about giving up on breastfeeding her but then again breastmilk is the best food you can give them so I just want to say good luck and keep trying.If it turns out that you have to stop breastfeeding and go to the bottls, then just be glad that you did your best, and going to the bottle doesn't mean that you won't get that special bond that breastfeed mothers get with there kids because after all you will still hold him close to you when he eats, and besides it will give dad some time to bond with his son as well. And on the plus side pumping may actually make you less sore while still provind him with the best fod he deserves.

This is all normal, at least for me it was, and I breast fed 3. This is why everyone talks about lack of sleep with a newborn, so if anyone promised that being a mother was going to be easy they were lying. There is a book called "What to expect the first 5 years" written by the same mommys that wrote "What to expect when your expecting". I read both of these when my first one was born, (14 years ago), try the book store, (or internet) I sure they must still be around. If you know what normal then it easier to deal with (and most of the stuff on this site is normal) before you know it there will be something else to deal with.

The only advise I can give is keep up the persistance. It does get easier!

I had the same battle with my son. When the lactation nurses would come he would nurse great. Then when it was my turn to do it by my self alone it was a battle all over again. I felt like a failure too, but was told that I was trying my best and that my milk is the greatest thing you can do.
I tried it all, all the tricks they suggested.
What I ended up doing was pumping and putting my breast milk into bottles . That way he was getting the breast milk and I wasn't having to battle him to latch on and spending what seemed like hours trying to get him to feed.
You may also want to buy a Boopy that helped alot in getting my son comfortable when breast feeding.
Keep up the good work, you'll figure something out that will work for the both of you!