I'm at a Losss, Does Anyone Know About A.D.D????

Updated on February 05, 2008
I.C. asks from Tulsa, OK
10 answers

over the last few months we have been working with my 1st grader daughter's teacher. she keeps telling us that we need to get our daughter to a doctor and put her on meds for add. she is not hyper or gets in trouble. she is very quiet, very shy, yet, she does tend to go to la la land quite a bit. and she is not doing her class work and refuses to bring her homework home to do. she is a very smart child, and her teacher has told us this, that she is very bright and knows how to do the work, she hardley ever has to try on her tests, "she can get strait A's without cracking a book" is her teachers exact words. but if she doesn't do her class work, then she cannot pass to the second grade. i understand that we have a problem, and we have been working with her form months now. at home she has changed wonderfully, but we are still having problems with her at school. she doesn't act up, she doesn't disrupt the class, she is a very very good child, she just spaces out or just doesn't do her work. when she does do her work, she is done with it within minutes, wile her classmates are still working on it. she tells us that it is really easy. but most of the time, she just doesn't do her work.

i am not a big fan of putting children on meds, even if the docotor tells us she has add. i just don't think a child at her age should be on meds all the time without trying other ways of handeling the problem. so i have the school testing her now, and doing what they do, to give me their opinion on our child. i just think, that its easier for a school to say, we need your kid on meds, then trying just a little bit to help this child...all i am asking for is for the teacher to pay more attention and notice when she is in la la land and tap her arm or tell her that she needs to do her work....something!!!! we do it at home and don't nearly have the problems they do.

i understand that sometimes you cannot control a situation, and therefore meds are needed. but i want that to be our last resort. if you can understand where i am comming from.

any help, advice, anything would be very much appriciated.

i don't know what else to do. the school is down my throat about this, but i hope there are other ways to help my little girl. we will take her to the doctor if the school tests come back telling us that there is help needed. i have no problem with that. i just need some information or other peoples opinions.

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So What Happened?

with all of your responses, and talking with grandparents and a few other friends, my husband and i agreed not to put her on any medication. i did go talk to the counselor at her school, and all she wanted to do at first was put her on meds. i could not get anyone to understand that she is not hyper, or disruptive, or anything, she just spaces out! so after what seemed like hours talking to this lady, i think i finally got it through her head that we are not gonna put her on any medication for something as small as this. they wanted to monitor her and see if a "gifted tutor" would help her. so we shall see what happens here in a couple of weeks. i have tried and tried to get the teacher to pay more attention to my daughter and if she notices brandy (my daughter) spacing out, to tap her desk or move her arm or something to get her attention back on work...........but i don't think she liked that idea..........how hard can that be? isn't that her job?

so we are not going to medicate her. we are just reminding her before she goes to school to do all her work on time and turn it in. and we pop in every once in a while to check on her, and make sure she is doing her work. so we are working with her that way, and if that bombs out we will try natural stuff like vitamins and such........

thank you all so much for your help!

More Answers

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

Your daughter reminds me of me when I was her age. My first grade teacher talked my mom into having me tested for ADD and whatever else. I tested fine. She also thought I should be held back, but my grades were too high. My mom knew I was just a bright child who thought "outside the box".
Please work with your daughter and keep her challenged. I ended up thinking I wasn't smart just because I thought differently than other kids. It wasn't until 8th grade that I started getting into school. By then I wasn't challenged enough and I had time to get into trouble and still get good grades.
Good luck.

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A.T.

answers from Tulsa on

Your daughter sounds like she is bored at school because it is not challenging enough. Personally, I don't believe in medicating children unless there is a serious problem. Your daugher does not sound like a serious problem. Has the school considered moving her up a grade, so she isn't so bored.

Strangely, I had the same problem in 1st through 4th grade. I couldn't be moved up a grade, because I have a brother one year older and my parents did not want to cause any social problems for either of us. My parents sent us to private schools, so the school provided a tutor for English, Math, and Phonics as I was more advanced than the rest of my class. The tutor was just one of the mothers who had some extra time. During those classes, I worked with the tutor separate from my class. It worked pretty well. When I reached 5th grade, the school offered honors classes, which fit the bill.

I'm not sure if it helps at all, but your daugher probably just needs more of a challenge, not medication.

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J.H.

answers from Springfield on

ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder. What you describe of your daughter sounds very common. They are kids who just have more trouble than your average kid paying attention in class. It doesn't mean she's not smart or that she can't succeed. I think all too often, though, the teacher's answer is to put the child on meds. This is not the only answer! I have a five-year-old son who has ADHD, which has the added problem of hyperactivity. So not only does he have problems paying attention, he has problems even sitting still!!! After reading a lot on the web and books, etc., my husband & I decided to put him on meds. However, and this is big, we also have been taking him to a clinical psychologist for therapy sessions twice a month. Using both of these things is helping our situation at home and at preschool. I highly recommend that if nothing else, you seek some counseling for your daughter. Sometimes simply learning what triggers her "spacing out" can help you, your child and her teacher to create a better learning environment for her. I would also look to see if there are any parent/child advocacy groups in your state or region. We found one in our state, and they were very knowledgable on what the state and federal government can & can't do in regards to your child and her school environment. These people are also helpful in getting you information on what kind of programs are available in your area for kids with ADD and what the school should provide for your daughter if she is clinically diagnosed with ADD. I would also recommend talking to your pediatrician about it; many times they have information on treatments other than just medication, and they might help you find a therapist. In my experience, no one thing (meds, therapy, etc.) alone has helped. It was only when we started a combination of the above that we started to see positive results. Good luck to you, and don't let anyone pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with for your daughter.

A.H.

answers from Tulsa on

That sounds just like me when I was in school. I never had to study to pass a test, so I was always in my own little world (usually with a book) instead of focusing on school work. I ended up getting evaluated for ADD and tested for the gifted program at the same time. ADD was ruled out when they realized I qualified for the gifted program. If your school has a gifted program, definitely try to get your daughter tested for it. I went to a few schools and each school district is different. Some schools have a totally different class for the gifted students, some pull students out half a day a couple of days a week, and some have all day programs once a month. These programs are great for students who are bored/advanced. The coursework promotes creativity and is much more advanced than the regular classes. You may even want to see if she will be able to skip a grade. If she's bored now, it's going to continue throughout her entire education, college included, unless you try something different now. Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from Topeka on

My best friends daughter was the same way and the school kept saying she has ADD and since her mother is a first time parent she did not know she was just going thru the motions to see what the school doctors said and of course they said she need to be on meds so she could focus. Well first of all the child tends to take on a "Zombie" like attitude which is scary and as her godmother I pressed the issue that my friend seek outside opinions and she did. And what do you know she was diagnosed with being bored in class because she knew the work, so for the remainder of the year the teacher gave her second and third grade work and she was okay then, she stayed on task and had no other complaints from then on out....now she is 10 yrs old in the sixth grade and doing completly fine...all it was was she was bored

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello I.....

No..no, no. no..Please do not think that your daughter has ADD (or any of those "behavioral problems") at first glance.It seems that this thing with ADD or ADHD is becoming a fashion!!. Every single kid I know, has ADD or whatever behavioral problem because they are smart, active or get bored at school. It is getting very worrisome to see that the system cannot deal with smart kids. I know that I will get responses totally against my opinion, but I respect that as well.
Please get other and another opinion about this. Put kids on medication is not joke. Do a research, go to the library, talk to people who know about this, change her diet, keep a strict routine, find advanced games. She is getting bored!!! it happened the same with my kid. There are wonderful teachers who are willing and have the experience to work with your daughter....The hard part is to find them, but you will. Please DO NOT medicate her!!!
For now, ask the teacher if your daughter can bring a book or something she really likes to the class, so she can read or play silently with it when she is D., and while others are working,. Ask the teacher to make your daughter lead some activities, simple tasks (like "go and get that book for me", "please give these sheets to your classmates", "go and draw something nice for us..."...whatever positive for herself that keep her amused and not bored.)something like that, just ideas....
One of the things that it is important to consider is that children in now days are growing in a very different world and environment, not like us. They are exposed to much more stimulation than we were exposed years and years ago. TV, Computers, media, lots of lots of stimulation that make our kids to react in positive or not just positive ways all the time. This is a different world, and the kids are reacting.

Do not get anxious with this, just be patient and consistent together with your husband. You are doing great, and she will be great. I had the same experience, and my husband and I are working on it and with our kid very closely. Believe me, I know how you feel.
The best for you....
Alejandra

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B.L.

answers from Champaign on

I agree with many here - get her tested and see if she is gifted! My first thought was that this stuff she is learning is just too boring for her.

And if at some point they do say ADD, well, that could be the case I suppose, but think about alternative things like diet instead of just jumping on the medicine band wagon.

We called to talk to our doctor about our son (who was 4 at the time) about his behaviors. After talking with a nurse for less than 5 minutes on the phone, she said she needed to send us an ADHD questionaire for us to fill out. WHAT? You are going to diagnose ADHD after speaking to me for less than 5 minutes? It's just way too common these days to diagnose ADD or ADHD when it's not really the problem.

Good luck! I think your best bet is to see if she is just bored and gifted!

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C.H.

answers from Tulsa on

I have a daughter that was in the same situation. We faught meds for 2 yrs, she lost intrest in school. When we came to terms that everyone in our circle must know what they were talking about I allowed Ritlyn to be perscribed at a very low dose and work up if we neede to. Thankfully all she needed was a little help.
C. H

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A.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My 17 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 7 or 8 years old. His father and I were told that he was having a very hard time concentrating in class, grades were good but attention was poor.Upon mulitple trips to the doctor, the medical 'professionals' decided to put him on rytalin, that was only the first medication. They did not want him becoming immune to that so they change his medications frequently.

I don't like the meds, I don't trust the meds. My sons father was all for the meds, I was opposed. My argument, what are the long term affects going to be on his body, kidneys, liver? When he was diagnosed my father and I did a lot of research on the internet about ADD and ADHD, the causes and possible fixes. One thing we found was a combination of vitamins. Yes, vitamins. We went to Akin's and spoke with an employee there and she recommended a certain kind of vitamins ( if you have an Akin's or any health food store near you I would recommend you speak with an employee and ask them about the vitamins as opposed to me tell you and accidently get the names wrong.)

THEY WORKED!! I am one that would NOT suggest or recommend something unless it's worked for me. The vitamins did work. My son liked them more because he said the meds made him feel kind of numb sometimes or just spacey or sick to his stomach, the vitamins did not cause this. And they helped, in more ways than one. He was putting the chemicals he was lacking back into his system and was benefitting from the other ingredients as well, and it was all natural.

Please, keep in mind that this is just something that worked for my child, I can not promise it will work for all. I was at my wits end wanting something other than years of dependancy on meds. and I have been totally satisfied with the vitamins. I have a normal 17 year old son now and is happy his mom made the change. Well, he's as normal as any 17 year old boy can be and he does wonderful in school.

I hold you and your daughter in my prayers and hope you find what works for her.

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E.O.

answers from Topeka on

i see that you've already made a decision and i agree that ADD doesn't always require medication. However, ADD and ADHD are two different things. Both are Autism Spectrum Disorders and have similar characteristics, but ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADD is Attention Deficit Disorder, there's a difference. If she goes into "la la land" quite a bit, I'd have her evaluated by a Childhood Developmental Specialist or a Psychiatrist or Psychologist that treats children to get an accurate diagnosis. Often times,and it's very unfortunate, school psych's just want to do what will make it easier on the teachers. We went through this with my daughter who is autistic (sensory integration dysfunction and aspergers syndrome) and the school psych wanted her on meds for her OCD tendencies, we tried it, it made things worse and we took her off of the meds. if you get an ADD diagnosis, they should put you in touch with an occupational therapist who can help your child manage their disability without medication. My husband is ADD and his mother and brother are both ADHD, believe me there's a huge difference between the two, ha ha. Good Luck!

before i forget. if the school tests her, they should have questionaires for the teachers, the school psych and for you and your husband to fill out. my daughter is evaluated every year and this is the way it has always been done. based on all of the scores from each questionaire, they then determine what the likely diagnosis is. make sure to get copies of everything regarding the evaluation and take them with you when you have her evaluated by a third party. again, good luck!

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