Question for Moms with ADHD Kids

My 8 yr old has ADHD primarily inattentive. Many people think ADHD kids can't ever focus/calm down/behave, etc. That's not true! With focusing, they key is how stimulating the activity is or if the child finds it exciting or is motivated. Your son could very well have ADHD...or be bored or tired.

Edited to add: people with ADHD also have the ability to hyperfocus for hours on a single task. My daughter and husband (ADHD) can both play video games for HOURS because they are stimulating...

I did five and a half years of college in four years carrying a 3.5 average. That is the mind of someone with ADHD that is engaged and motivated. I was lucky because all of my professors allowed me to add to boring assignments to make them challenging or I could never have done it.

What I am trying to say is if we want to do the work we are like super human, if we don't we are the most frustrating people on earth!

So just because he does some work well and not others is no reason to discredit the observation he may have ADHD.

I would have him evaluated. I can get by without my meds but referring to that college up there, I couldn't have done that without my meds. :)

A child with ADD or ADHD can have days where they're motivated enough to be "on" and do everything right. I think that's why until last year, I figured that my eldest daughter was typical and ADHD never even crossed my mind. In our case none of her teachers ever brought up the fact that they thought she had it until I asked them for their opinions. I went back and asked her past teachers too, and they also believed she had it but not one single teacher ever suggested an evaluation.

When her 6th grade team of teachers and I had a meeting and I brought it up, that's when we decided it would be good to have her evaluated. I had it done by a pediatric neurologist AND the school because it was definitely affecting her at school AND at home. I also wanted to make sure that if the evaluation done at school didn't reflect ADHD that a private eval would trump it. But both of the evals backed each other up and the school and neurologist worked together.

Anyway, my daughter ended up qualifying for a 504 plan and a Behavior Plan together. The girl is brilliant, but the ADHD does get in the way. This way she has help when she needs it and understanding from her teachers, as well as back up plans for when she can't control certain things in her disorganization and focus.

EDIT: As the poster right above me said, with my daughter the ADHD is apparent is ALL AREAS of her life. There's no question looking at her now and in hindsight.

And as another poster stated, we removed all artificial dyes and HFCS. We follow a Feingold Diet for her and my autistic daughter to help minimize symptoms of ADHD, ADD, and autism. We also use as much positive language as possible and natural consequences. We use positive motivators. We use privileges as motivators. We're strict and firm. And as nervous as we were about starting her on medication, we were shocked when we saw that it works. If meds don't work, it's not ADHD.

I would not jump at the ADHD label. It sounds like he's smart and a bit bored. I would also want to work on finding the right "fit" next year in terms of a teacher.

Talk to the guidance counselor about next year's teacher. The school really does want the right fit between teacher and student. Discuss what will help be successful in school - personality-wise. Don't ask for the teacher who is strict and will make him pay attention. He needs the teacher who can KEEP his attention. One who will help him enjoy school.

A child with ADHD doesn't crank through homework days at a time and then become attention deficit. ADHD is pretty constant. Your son is young and has this personality. He needs a teacher who won't squash him.

Good luck,
Dawn

My 13 yo dtr is Asperger's and ADHD. She is NOT hyper, but was getting either straight A's or straight Fs. She would have good days and bad days. My 10 yo son is ADHD and is HYPER! Can't hardly focus on anything without the help of meds. He is way more "consistant" in his behavior than my daughter is. I don't think there is a "mold" for ADHD. It would be best to have your son tested by a psych to see exactly what is going on, then you will know what you need to do. Good luck.

I'd keep an open, but skeptical, mind. My oldest son has ADHD-i and it's pretty obvious in just about all settings. At school and at home, he's a spaceshot 80-90% of the time. Constantly forgets or loses homework, projects, school materials, personal items etc. He is 14 now and was dx'd at 7.

My second son (8) has something going on that we can't quite put our finger on. ADHD has been tossed around as a possible diagnosis. He sounds a bit like your son. This son has never forgotten anything a day in his life, ever. In fact, he delights in correcting me about things that happened years ago. Is on or above grade in everything in school with little to no effort. But the no effort is the problem...he has his own agenda at school (and at home) and if the world's agenda doesn't match his, he doesn't participate willingly. Assigned reading that he didn't choose? He'll sit there and literally NOT READ the book for the assigned period of time. As in looks at it, turns the pages and doesn't read the words. So to someone who doesn't know him well, it looks like he's not paying attention or is having a reading problem when in reality, he is really just being defiant. Not saying that your son is being defiant, but just wanted to offer an example of how something can look like an attention issue and not be. To me, true ADHD is involuntary - selectively, deliberatley not attending to work that's not interesting is boredom. One is a brain difference, the other is a skill that has to be learned.

How old is your son?

I would proceed with caution, as others have indicated. He is at the right age for meaningful diagnosis - often educators push for diagnosis earlier than second grade, when it is typically much too early. Find someone you can trust. If you are in the Chicago area, I strongly recommend John Hostermann of Wilmette. One of the reasons that we selected him is that he is very conservative with his diagnosis - he believes less than 2% of the population genuinely have ADHD, a much lower figure than is commonly believed.

It is a good idea to implement reward systems in concert with your son's teachers - let him earn activities he enjoys through paying attention in school and completing his homework in a timely fashion. His ability to focus with the promise of rewards that he values will bea good indicator of how much control he actually has over his behaviors. Furthermore, it will give any diagnostician valuable data. When we took our son to Dr. Hostermann, we had two years of behavior report sheets from his teachers, as well as our own observations. There's no medical test for this - it's all about observation over time. Trust your own instincts, but also find a medical expert you can have faith in - because you don't want a diagnosis you can't trust.

HYPOfocus = distraction
HYPERfocus = intense concentration.

Both are ALWAY present with ADHD. If he could never concentrate on anything, he wouldn't be ADHD.

LOL...Pop culture gets 9 things out of 10 wrong with ADHD... To the pony that most of your arguments "against" are actually "for". In fact, one is a waving red flag FOR ADHD (can't focus when its boring, can focus when its interesting). Another that gets missed is that there are waaaaay more upsides than downsides to ADHD. Ditto nearly all ADHD children are Gifted (ADHD-I & ADHD-c academically, ADHD-h physically).

The new phrasing, btw, I loooooove.

The hyperactivity is ALWAYS present.
In some physically
In some mentally
In some both

Please go spend $10 on this book:

"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!?" By Kate Key & Peggy Ramundo

Please try not to throw it against the wall too many times in utter frustration of "WHY didn't I know this BEFORE????" Because I have a strong suspicion your son comes by his probable ADHD quite honestly... Through you.

I alway recommend this book to parents of ADHD kids, even though its "about" adult ADHD... Because it shows a whole lifetime approach. Aka what childhood problems & solutions look like in 20 years. But also be ause for undiagnosed ADHD parents, its a "Whoa. Wait. One. Cotton. Picking. Minute! That's ME!!!! "

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/you-mean-im-not-lazy-stup...

Also this website is phenom

www.additudemag.com

As is Hoagies Gifted page

((ADHD almost always present with facets; giftedness, sensory schtuff, etc. its be ause our brains process & store information differently. Just like Aspies are nearly always gifted & nearly always have sensory issues. Its part & parcel. But how each expresses is different with each kid and adult))

R. on me phone (please ignore atrocious grammar-me-bestest / / autocorrect is killing me)

- ADHDc mom to
ADHDc son
Auntie to
ADHD-I niece
ADHD-h nephew

... Also child/neice/granddaughter to ADHD
- astrophysicist turned extreme backcountry sport apparel
- thoracic surgeon
- special forces military
- pentagon level military
- former NASA engineer
- Speech Pathologisr
- 2 SAHMs
- 3 scientists
- 2 Olympic athletes
Etc.

My family is about 2/3s ADHD, and are all rabidly successful. We use the strengths of ADHD instead of fighting the weaknesses

I think it is worth looking into, and exploring further. Something you need to be aware of as well is that ADHD can be mistaken for BiPolar as well. No matter what, a diagnosis is not the end of the world, infact it is the begining - a whole new world opens up.

What did the teacher do to address this? Is there an engaging, rigorous and coherent curriculum at the school (so the kids will learn the same thing, including general and special education students in the same grade)? What teaching methods does the teacher use? Does the teacher differentiate instruction to meet the needs of students? Look up "differentiated instruction." It's when a teacher provides students with different avenues to acquiring content. Effective teachers differentiate instruction. It does sound like he may have mild ADHD. If it's significantly affecting his learning, a 504 plan would be the best.

I, too, would be cautious. There are several other things that can look like ADHD to teachers (and I am one) and even psychologists, but aren't. Central Auditory Processing, for one. Giftedness is another. These are not exclusive, of course, and your son could have both ADHD and a disability. You also don't say how old he is. I have 2 children who are twice exceptional, and your son sounds like a combination of my two. They both have central auditory processing disorder, which causes more issues in a classroom than at home, but they are also both gifted; they each deal with boredom in their own way. A book that I found really useful is: Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression, and... by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb and Jean Goerss. It's available on Amazon. Also, as I said, be cautious of doctors and psychologists. Most are not trained in characteristics of gifted kids or in CAPD, so do your own research first.

I have a 20 year old nephew living with me who is ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was 5. I've been working to understand ADD/ADHD more.

Here is another book to read: Driven To Distraction. I'm reading the original book, but there is a newer version available. It's written by 2 doctors who have ADD. I'm reading this now and it's helping me learn how it can be difficult to diagnose ADD/ADHD. The challenges if it's not diagnosed and how it can be helpful when appropriately diagnosed.

There are 185 symptoms of ADD. People with the most severe cases have 175 symptoms. Others may display many less.

A qualified therapist/doctor is the one who can make the diagnosis, working with the family and the school. Other items have to be ruled out first.

An appropriate diagnosis will take some time, it won't happen overnight.

Best wishes on this journey.

Here is what i did...removed all preservatives, fooddye,gluten from the diet, made sure that physical activity occured before and after school, and mean heavy physical play not just hopping on the swingsswings for a few. Then after six weeks re evaluate if signs and symptoms persist then take to a behavoiralist pediatrician, then seek 2 more opinions and go.from.there.