If You Have More than 1 Child Under 2... - Hampton,NJ

my oldest was 14 months old when i gave birth to twins. it is very hard. some one told me or i read about it, that when you have multiple children and they all need attention, give it to the older one. the babies will not know if they are crying for 1 minute or 5 minutes, but your toddler will, so try to give as much attention to the older one that you can. also get the twins on a sleep schedule and stick to it. right now all 3 of mine nap at the same time and i need that break or i yell all afternoon! you don't have to be limited with activities. it is not easy getting 3 dressed, in the car and out the door, but with planning you can go on small trips. there is a double sit and stand stroller out there. i only have a double stroller, but i went for lots of walks with one if the babies in a harness carrier. that is all i can write for now, getting crazy in here. feel free to email with any questions. A.

Hi J.,

Congratulations on your twins! I don't know how moms of twins do it. My daughters are 25 months apart. As I think back to those days, I have to say that I really tried to engage my older daughter in the baby care...make her a part of it. You might be surprised how much "help" she can be to you with good supervision. She is old enough to bring you a diaper or the wipes. You can also get her some special toys that require her full attention, something you know she would really like, that she can do independently of course. This would help occupy her in those times when you just cannot get away.

I hardly ever leave the house when I have an infant, and I know that can be h*** o* the older kids, but they do adjust. It will be winter soon anyway. At 20 months, your daughter is very adaptible and I think she will do just fine.

As for going back to work...if you can make your budget work without your income...I would stay home if I were you...I stayed home when my 2nd child was 12 months and I wish I had done it sooner. We made it work. We downsized to one vehicle and got rid of our home...we now own a trailer, but it is worth it for me to be able to stay home, and we own it outright...how many people with young children can say they own their home outright. The point is, sacrifices can be made and I don't think you'll have any regrets. There is nothing more important than the time we can spend with our children while they are young.

D.
mother to 5, stay at home, homeschooling mom who has a home based business as well

Hi J.
Congrats on your twins. Very exciting! I have twins, they were born when my boys were 19 & 14 years old. which is not like 20 months. I chose not to work while raising my boys and was never sorry. I chose that again when the twins were born. I have never been sorry. In fact I homeschooled the girls. They are off to college this year with a good head on their shoulders and our values not the day cares and not the baby sitters. Not everyone has that option I realize that but I chose it, which meant we lived on my husband's salary. OK so all the younger guys he works with can't figure out how we can do it. Their wives work and they still can't make ends meet. I choose to do it, and by God's grace the bills have always been paid.
Will you make more than you pay out in day care for 3 children?
Be sure and include tax bracket and clothes and vehicle?

You don't say when the twins are born but just in case:
Stay hydrated--- drink lots of water
Stay rested -- sleep when you can
Eat well -- nurishment is important
Any question about what is happening -- call OB and say "I am pregnant with twins"

I loved "Twins" magazine.
I loved "mothers of multiples" org. even though I had to drive about an hour to get there. They gave lots of helpful hints. I could have gone while pregnant, but before the meeting happened I was on bed rest. (At 19 weeks, after a week in hospital)
Please email me.
Love to talk about twins and learned alot.
Would love to hear your story.
Probably old enough to be your mom, so talk to mom too. She probably has stories she would love to share.
God bless you and your beautiful family
K. -- SAHM married 38 years -- boys 37(volleyball coach & entrepreneur) and 32 lawyer(had our first grandchild-boy in July) & girls 18 and off to college after homeschooling.

Turn baby's feeding time (for me it was nursing time) into big girl time, too. For the half hour or so it takes to feed the baby, have your daughter sit on the couch with you and read books with her, play games, play with toys together (my girls loved their 'woodkins' and colorforms sets). Save her more action-oriented activities for the babies' naptime. Take walks together wuth the new twins - go to parks or playgrounds, nature walks (collect acorns or pretty leaves), etc. Check the internet for easy crafts for your almost two-year old. She will also want to help you with the babies - let her do simple tasks and she'll love it. Good luck!

I don't have twins, but I have lots of experience...I had my third son when my first was still 2(2,1,and new) we added our fourth son 20 months later(yep that's 4 in 4and 1/2 years) and our fifth son 2 years later...so when it comes to being pulled in every direction I know how you feel. First, don't panic...it will be okay and honestly it's not that hard, it's just really busy! Second, don't be too h*** o* yourself when you make mistakes(that's how we learn) and third enjoy!!! My best advice to you is organize everything(if you don't have a label maker go get one...they are worth their weight in gold)... I label everything...from sippy cups, to fridge shelves, the closet shelves and toy bins...if it can be labeled it has been..this has two major benefits...first you know where to find everything and to whom it belongs(plus now your mom/friend/husband can help you put away the groceries/clothes and you can still find what you need later)...also it will help your older child read/recognize her name much faster...Decide what you can let your husband do that won't bother you if it's done his way(for me this was bath/teeth time...he cleans the kids, I clean-up after dinner...both get done). I also load the dishwasher and run it at night and unload it at breakfast...this was a huge pet- peeve of mine to have dishes in the sink pre-kids...now the kids are more important and the dishes can wait...keep bubbles handy where you nurse...you can use a bubble gun and the older child can pop them while you are nursing...I also strapped my kids in to highchairs and boosters and they colored while I had to be in the kitchen...making dinner or cleaning...you'll find your groove...I promise! It'll take a little time just lose the guilt, you are giving each of your children a gift...each other...my kids don't always get the newest things out there but they are never lonely or with out love and I think that's just fine! Best of luck!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I can't offer any advise because I only have 13 month old twins, no others yet but I can tell you they will bring so much joy to your life! Not that you didnt already know that!! I went back to work part time when they were four months old and hated it! WE had no choice though. After realizing how hard it was to work (even part time) and come home and have all the responsibilities of twins we decided to make some adjustments. We moved in with my parents and I am taking this year off. (I am a teacher) I have truly been enjoying my time off with them so far but financially I'm not sure how long we can do it for. It's a hard choice but one I will never regret. Hopefully I wont need to go back too soon. I wish you lots of luck. E-mail if you have any questions about what you need and dont need and how to manage certian things. It will be great.

Allow your daughter to be a part of helping you care for the twins as much as possible for her age.. When the twins are naping, sleeping, spend special quality alone time with your daughter as much as possible. If you need to nap yourself when the twins are napping, cuddle with her, but also spend time reading to her, color with her, watch her favorite Disney movie with her, her own little fish bowl with little fish to watch and to fuss over... find some hobby and games that she will enjoy and have your full attention with. When ever you can, get a baby sitter, a grandma, and Aunt, or a good friend to stay with the twins and take your daughter on special outings....maybe to the park, a pinic, the zoo, the back yard or out just for a walk.
Not to worry as everything will fall into place...

Here's a few fun ones

- you could buy her a baby doll that she can be the new mommy while watching you.

- buy hand puppets and let her put on a puppet show for you

- have lots of washable type crayons or markers or those ones that use water.

- collect fun things for dress up play time, she'll have lots of fun looking at herself in the mirror!

- get big buttons or big beads that no one can swallow and a shoe string for lacing them together. She can work on her motor skills while looking at bright fun shiny things.

- check out http://www.familyfun.com and they have an awesome magazine full of great ideas.

Congratulations & best of luck!

First, Congratualtions on twins!! I have twin boys (almost 12 months old). I will say it is not easy!.. I don't have a 3rd child and can't even imagine. Although, my friend has two sets of twin boys and had it very easy with the second set, as did all my friends with the 2nd. I think having the experience from the first really helps - so there's a great advantage. All I can say is that I had help from my father. I don't have a mom and my father has been a blessing. My husband works on the road all week and my father stayed over. We did shifts. You will need rest and a lot of it. Unfortunately, I got two very colicky babies. One was a lot worse than the other but it was severe. Acid reflux, ER trips, a nightmare. You need help, family, friends, whoever can help - use it. As far as you oldest, just try to involve her. Luckily you have an older girl and she will probably be excited to help out in some way. Even if it's just to sit there and hold a toy over the babies so they can see it... anything to make her feel helpful and involved. I agree with the other person, get a good stroller and go for walks when possible. I am sorry I don't have any other advice, except what you've probably heard a thousand times ( I hated hearing this)... get all your rest now while you can. Three will be a challenge, as well as a blessing.

Good Luck
J.