Ideas for Resolving Bus Issues

Updated on November 17, 2009
A.R. asks from Cleveland, MO
11 answers

I have a 6-year-old in first grade who rides the bus to school and home every day. Last year she got one white slip from the bus driver for not staying seated while the bus was moving. This year she's gotten three, so she has been suspended from the bus for a week...and it's only November! The first two times we talked about bus safety and how she needed to stay in her seat instead of turning around, climbing across the aisle, messing with the other kids, etc. The second time she was grounded for the weekend with no toys, books, radio, tv, friends, pets, etc. She seemed miserable just sitting in her room all weekend, so I foolishly thought she had learned her lesson and would behave on the bus. Not so much...I was shocked she got another slip and a suspension. Now I'm at a loss and really have no idea where to go from here, which really bothers me! I've been a parent for 6.5 years - I should have this all figured out right?! LOL Her punishment this time has been being grounded for the entire week - same routine, no books, toys, pets, friends, tv, etc. - but I'm worried that this won't solve the problem. The next step is "indefinite suspension" and frankly, I can't afford to be late to work and leaving work early every day to take her and pick her up from school. I did call the person in charge of the bus drivers to see how we could address this. She was not very helpful, saying that they have to have assigned seating, they changed the seating last week and basically it was up to me to control my kid even though I'm not there. Awesome. Thanks, bus lady. I'm not excusing my daughter's behavior, but thought maybe switching up the seating would alleviate the triggers that seem to get her in trouble. And another thing, I've spoken with the school principal and I know that my daughter isn't the only one getting white slips and that we both agree the driver doesn't seem to have control of the kids on the bus since you can hear them screaming on the bus from a long way off - and I live on a gravel road! Anyway, someone recommended positive reinforcement as a way to encourage her good behavior. Is that the way to go? Any other ideas on how to deal with this issue? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the stories and advice. We live in the country, so unfortunately walking isn't an option - it's about 7 miles to school, otherwise I'd definitely let her walk! I will be trying some of the other options though - wish me luck! LOL

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

How about have her walk to school. A few days of walking while the bus passes her by, and she wishes she were on it may just make her behave.

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My step daughter was in kindergarten when she got suspended from the bus for not sitting down. My husband (then boyfriend) was visiting the kids in Quebec City, Quebec Canada during the time she was suspended. It was the middle of winter and it's very cold up there and he walked her to school!! School is approx. 3 miles from her home and across the St Lawrence River!! She learned her lesson real quick from that walk and never got suspended after that. She is now 17 and she still recalls her long, cold walk across the river in the middle of winter.

Time outs and grounding kids, taking things away doesn't teach them to sit down.! Make her walk to school, just walk with her as my husband did to make sure she's safe. A few days of that and maybe she will learn her lesson too.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I rode a bus for years when I was a kid. Let me tell you, things were very different back then. First of all, our bus driver was sometimes a bit mean. He didn't hit anyone. But he's slam on the breaks and get up and yell at someone if needed. And yet, I remember kids moving from seat to seat all the time. The noise level was pretty rowdy at times. We even had water fights on our bus that our driver participated in! LOL. He really was a nice guy when he wasn't mad. It was a different time. People were not usually suspended. But the drivers were not going to be in trouble for yelling at us either. Today, no one can figure out how to discipline kids.

I don't know what to think about the way things are these days. I know some buses have cameras on them so that the tapes can be reviewed if anyone has issues about who started what. I'm not sure how that would help you, but you could request to view them to see for yourself what's going on.

Is it possible to hire someone to provide before and after school and transportation?

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E.C.

answers from Kansas City on

my son had the same problem. we solced it with a few things. My husband took the morning off work, and we told my son that i couldnt take him to school ( that was a rewaqrd for him) so my hubby walked him to shcool and it was aboiut 25 degrees ( about 1-5 mile) and my son did not like that very much. i called a conference wiht the principle (which my son did not know about, all he knew was that he was called to the principal's office and OMG there were his parents lol)where she went over wiht im the scholl conduct rules and had him sign a contract for bus behavior and then we had him sit next to some one he likes so his attention is on that person in stead of the people around him. I hope these ideas help with ur problem! good luck.

as for what some one else wrote, I STRONGLY, BUT RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE. IT IS VERY MUCH OUR RESPONSIBILITY AS PARENTS TO INSURE THAT OUR CHILDREN ARE BROUGHT UP TO LISTEN TO AND RESPECT ANY ADULT THAT IS IN CHARGE OF THEM, Both of my kids know that if they are disrespectful to any teachers ( bus drivers included) they have serious consequences at home.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

First is does your daughter have any problems at school when the teacher wants her attention or during other situations where she must pay attention and sit quietly? This could be a sign of other problems. if this is not the case then the Superintendent of schools needs to be brought up to date with this problem-"he" should have a meeting with you and any others involved in this bus trouble! The buses are generally under a contract-not a privledge-so something needs to be done! In this day and age of trouble with strange things in and around schools why are there No moniters on the buses to help stop problems and keep the drivers to their own jobs? Take this up NOW it is for the security of your child and others.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I think I would take bits and pieces of the advice that you have received so far. I would go for the positive reinforcement, if you don't get in trouble on the bus today you can ..... (fill in the blank here with something that she likes to do...but I wouldnt fall back on the "watch an extra 30 minutes of tv....that is an easy out...do something together to build memories and relationship) BUT if you get in trouble on the bus then you are going to have to write a note of apology to your bus driver ( you write she dictates) or put up with a parental lecture on the importance of minding the bus driver.
I would also suggest that you have a conference with the school principal. Especially if the discipline on the bus seems to be a little lax or that the bus driver is not willing to work with you to come up with a solution to the issue. ( I would think moving her to a seat right behind the bus driver would be a great idea!!! Who cares if you have "assigned seating??? "Assign" her to that seat!!!) Maybe you could get together with some of the other parents and set up a rotating schedule of Moms and Dads to ride along on the bus for a while to try and get some sort of order restored.
I also like the idea of a "contract" with your daughter on how she is going to behave on the bus, talk with her about the safety issues and such...let her have some input on what is going to be expected of her.
Good luck!!!
R. Ann

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

there may be something serious going on where she doesn't want to ride the bus and no matter the consequences of being grounded.. she may like that better than the torture of riding the bus and take any punishment over whatever may be going on. You just don't know and so many kids here don't ride the busses because of things that have happened so they either walk, find a ride with friends, or the parents take them. I know I see a lot of our busses almost empty because very few students actually ride them because of the crazy stuff that goes on. All it takes is one bully to make the ride miserable. There should be a monitor on the bus too and if there isn't then the school district needs to step up and get with the real life because most have monitors now. I would also want to see the tapes and see how she is acting on the bus. Ask her where she would like to sit if she had a choice? I know when I was in Kindergarten we had a very long bus ride and I sat with my brother which was 4 years older than me so there weren't any problems because he would protect me if someone was mean. Most of us that were on the bus for an hour fell asleep so it wasn't usually a rowdy bus ride because we all lived in the country and usually worked on homework or fell asleep.

Try to find out if something is going on that may be provoking your daughter to get up to defend herself or is she just getting up to play with her friends?

Good luck and hope it all works out soon.

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L.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm sorry . . . I may be totally off base here and if I sound like a lunatic, I apologize. But I don't see how sitting on the bus, or lack thereof, is your problem nor your responsiblity to punish for. There is absolutely nothing you could do as punishment that would actually = sitting in your seat on the bus. Do you have the same problem riding around in your car?

If it were me, I would be going to the school and asking what they were going to do to fix the problem. We have to trust the school employees with the lives and well-being of our children for 8+ hours a day. The law says we do. The law also says that the school is required to provide transportation if your child lives a certain distance from the school (unless you live within legal walking distance and went through steps to be an exclusion to ride the bus). Your child is in the care of the school district when the problem occurs, therefore, in my opinion, it is the responsiblity of the school to fix it. There are several things that could be done. They could hire an extra person to ride the bus and act as a monitor to make sure all students stay in their seats, or they could use a seatbelt or saftey harness. Not only should the school district have tapes but they also have trained personell that could observe and determine the best way to address the behavior. If the school district is completely unresponsive then you could start looking at special edu. accomodations and needs - a 504 plan could be developed to provide the help your child needs to ride safely on the bus.

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J.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Asking about the tapes is a great idea to see if there is a trigger! Also, maybe she is bored? Sending a favorite book with her to read on the way there? Or a toy like a rubiks cube or something simple (and cheap)? If its the other kids getting her sucked in with them, maybe give her some ideas of what to say to them to get them to stop ("I want to play with you this weekend but cant if I get in trouble on the bus." "I am tired and want to sleep on the way there, lets talk at school" (I have a 13 yr old, so not sure what 6 yr olds would say, but something like this)? Or maybe give daily incentive/reminder - if you dont get in trouble on the bus today, you can watch an extra 30 minutes of tv tonight? Or if you do get in trouble today on the bus, you cant play games with the rest of us tonight? (try positive and negative). Good luck - riding the bus will only get worse as she gets older, so hopefully you will figure something out quickly!!!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning A., Do you happen to have an older neighbor child who rides the bus also? Or maybe a trusted responsible teen who drives to school that could take your little princess to school for maybe 20.00 a week?
I think I would try one of those routes to get her off the bus. Suzi is right when we were alot younger riding the bus it was completely different. One of our drivers who everyone adored and had fun with was Tex he was a police officer, he was a blast but everyone obeyed his bus rules, NO Questions asked. Then in my junior year one of the guys I was in class with drove the bus, that was fun too. My senior yr I drove myself and once in a while my brother and sister. We could sit where we wanted, with out friends or not.

Anyway A. I would certainly try a different form of transportation for your little girl, we lived on a dirt road also about 3 miles outside of town, then about another mile to school. So walking was not an option for us.
You would think a week without anything to do or play with would get her attention.

God Bless you A., Hang in there dear heart
K. Nana of 5

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J.L.

answers from Springfield on

You're not alone. I know that doesn't help much, but hang in there. My son just got in trouble for assisting another boy in poking holes in a bus seat with pencils. He is also 6 and in 1st grade. Just fyi, in our school, recovering a bus seat is $94...uuugh. We have to split the cost with the other child, but a sudden $47 right here at Christmas time didn't make me happy with my child. We are making him work extra jobs to "pay" off what he cost us. Folding laundry, vacuuming, etc. things that aren't usually his job. I'd say show her what it costs extra to have to take her to school and pick her up and make her work it off. Then possibly do the reward thing when she shows she gets it and tries to do better. Raising a kid is hard. Good luck.

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