I Need Help Potty Training My Son.. Help!

Updated on May 24, 2008
N.I. asks from Deltona, FL
17 answers

Hi everyone,
I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 3 week old newborn. Since now I'm at home I want to potty train my son. I need help and ideas of how everyone has done it. My main problem is that we are in the process of taking my son to speech and occupational therapy since he doesn't talk much. He does understand what we tell him very well. And I do know most of the times when he has to do #2, but he doesn't know how to say "pipi" and "caca", eventhough I keep try to teach him.

My husband unfortunaly works at night and sleeps most of the day, so for him to teach him is very hard. And now w/a newborn is still a challenge everyday. But I need to do this now before I go back to work. He does take his diaper off all the time and he does feel uncomfortable when he is very pipi and when he does #2 caca. So, I know he is more than ready...
Can anyone tell me some ideas or the easiest way to do it..????
Thank You

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

I am a little more laid back than most people when it comes to potty training so this may not work for you. When my son was ready to start potty training I just took the diaper off. I let him walk around without clothes on at all. We had a few accidents but he soon realized what he needed to do. Instead of having pull ups or pants to pee in, he would pee on the floor. Nothing to stop it. He hated that. The very first day I took off the diapers I took him on a short outing to the grocery store. I had him try to pee before we went, then had him pee when we got there. We made it fine and never looked back. I also bought him a video about Elmo peeing and pooping in the potty. He loved Elmo at the time so it was perfect for him. I had him watching that for about a week before we started. I found that the big boy potty did not work at first, he loved to go like mommy and daddy in the regular potty. But he did start using it to poop for a little while. Actually I think it was better he did not use a porta potty so he was not afraid to use the toilets when we were out.

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K.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would suggest teaching your son sign language for the potty words. You can look them up on the internet. If you take him with you to the potty each time you go and show him the hand sign and let him look in the potty when you're done while repeating the hand sign, he'll probably catch on pretty quick. :-)

Also, ask him often (hourly at least) if he has to go potty and take him in to sit on the potty. This gives him a chance to go without needing to tell you. Also make sure he can get to the potty on his own if he has to go and you're busy with your newborn (potty chair or step stool up to the big potty outfitted with a child seat, pull up diapers, loose pants, etc.)

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Since he is still adjusting to the new sibling, I would suggest the whole potty idea to him as something that he GETS to start doing, now that he is getting bigger. Don't force him to use it if he is uninterested, but show him the potty and let him know that "now that he is a big brother, he can start using the potty if he would like to". Then show him how it works by letting him drop in a cheerio or something and let him flush it away. Explain how his body waste goes into the water the same way and then he'll get to flush it away too! If he is bored with the whole thing, don't push. But the next time you "happen" to be at Walmart or whatever, ask him to help you choose a potty seat (pick two and ask him which one he would like to use). Then when you are back home, be all excited and ask him to come help you put it on the potty. (he can take it out of the bag and throw away the plastic wrap, etc). Right then is when I would ask him if he would like to try using it. If he says no, that's okay. And tell him so. "That's okay, maybe you can try it later this afternoon" . Have a ziploc bag of candies (individually wrapped lifesavers worked for us) in the kitchen. When he is successful going to the potty tell him "that's great! I have something for you in the kitchen... wash your hands and we'll get it"... then let him CHOOSE which piece he wants. Each time he uses the potty successfully, he gets to choose a candy (even if he goes 17 times the first few days). By the time he is fully trained, he will have forgotten all about the candy, so don't worry about that.
I started trying to train my son when he was 2. That was a little frustrating for us, b/c he wasn't very interested yet. But by 2 1/2 he was and he was fully trained by the time his little sister was born 2 weeks before his 3rd birthday. Getting a small stepstool he could use helped (he never liked potty chairs, he wanted to use the big one, with a child seat). We continued to use pull-ups at night only for the whole time he was 3 though, b/c he slept so hard he would have accidents at night (still does sometimes at age 9).

Once he is consistent with peeing (which will happen before the pooping), take him on another trip to the store and find some cloth training pants for him. They are SO much more comfortable... let him know that when he starts going poopy in the potty too, then he can start wearing them all the time! You can even let him try them on (make sure you have the right size) so he can see how much better they feel than diapers/pull-ups.

I have heard all kinds of horror stories about boys and potty training. But I just don't agree that it is always that way. Don't psych yourself out thinking it will be awful.
Just stay positive and encourage him with lots of cheers when he tries and when he is successful. And keep quiet when he is not... (an "Aww, well, let's clean up. You can try again next time" is all that needs to be said). No muttering under your breath or heavy sighing... he'll read right through that and the potty will become a bad experience for him. Stay positive and he will want to please you. Start giving "bad" vibes and it will become a power struggle. Remember, it can take a month or two (or maybe even 3). As long as he is trying to get to the potty on time... there is a way to tell him "good job!"...
Good luck!
I have the cutest picture of my little boy sitting on the potty in his PJ shirt (no bottoms) and reading a book about using the potty!

You may want to keep some small books (that he can hold easily by himself) in the bathroom, so that he can distract himself when going poopy. Only let him look at those particular books when on the potty.

pps.
Just a tip -- since we girls don't know how boys learned.= and people don't always talk about this...
Don't worry about him standing up. He will sit for a while. Then, when he is doing both well, he will learn to stand up--- that part comes AFTER he masters getting there and using it successfully... lol. And BEWARD the FALLING TOILET LID... make him use a step-stool when he gets to the standing up stage. I am NOT the only mother who's made a mad-dash to the ER b/c of the falling lid "biting" my little boys' parts.

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J.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi: My thoughs on your situation is, first I would make sure that your sons hearing is good. I myself have lost hearing in my left ear. Not born that way, but my parents did not believe me that my hearing was going when I was trying to tell them when I was young. Then I would use proper names for things. I never used what they call "baby talk" teach him the proper names and expand your word useage and read to him when you can or before he goes to sleep. Also, if his hearing is good and there are no problems in that area, then when he wants someting make him ask for it. Try not to finish his sentences and see if that works. Hope some of this will help and I would love to know. Good luck and let us know. Signed Also a mom for 21 years.......

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M.H.

answers from Nashville on

you may want to consider using sign langauge so he can signal when he wants to go or he he is wet. don't expect him to be trained by the time you go back to work. it takes a long time but making him comfortable with going may help. just be very patient, don't expect too much and even if he goes once or twice that is good. use a lot of praise when he does go and even reward him with something he likes.
good luck and enjoy being home.

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J.

answers from Jacksonville on

You are going to be beating your head up against a wall trying to potty train a child who has a new sibling. Wait 6 months until everything calms down and then try again. There are just way too many variables in play right now. Save yourself the headache. He won't go to Kindergarten in diapers.

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I.Y.

answers from Gainesville on

Hi Noelia,
Hi my son turned 3 in March and as soon as he turned 3 we started potty training. Within a week he was set. I started earlier when he was 1 1/2 and felt like he was not ready yet. I waited and tried again when he was 2, he did pee in the potty but would not poop then regressed back to going in his underwear. It wasn't until he was 3 that he finally caught on.

What worked for me was rewards. My son loves tictacs. So whenever he would even just sit on the potty, he would get a tic tac. He learned quick to pee in the potty, but poop was more of a challenge. He would poop in his underwear, I didn't just clean it and take it off like I did when he was in diapers. I made HIM take it off, made HIM clean in off on his own. I then sprayed him down in the shower (he hates the shower). I did this twice and he never pooped in his underwear again.

Just be patient. Boys naturally take longer to potty train anyway. He will catch on eventually.

Good Luck!

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D.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

I am not a mother, but I am a sister to a brother who just turned 3 a couple of weeks ago. There were several different methods we tried with him. My mom bought him underwear with his favorite characters and just let him walk around in those. If he did go he go to pieces of candy. If he didn't, he sat in timeout for two minutes. We also let him walk around with no bottoms, so he wouldn't want to go on the floor and it would be uncomfortable. Both of these methods work and wears underwear and is potty trained. After your son gets pottytrained, don't give him candy so he will know that's what he's supposed to do.

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B.C.

answers from Ocala on

well in a parenting group they said that buy the child a special book that is the potty book one he or she really wants and likes but the only time they can look at this book is while they are sitting on the potty. put it up all other times. be firm about that make sure it is only the potty time book.
also a lady who had a daycare for 20 years said she bought one of those M & M things ( where the M&M is sitting in a chair and you put M&M's in it and pull the hand down to let the M&M's out--you know like a gumball machine) anyway she would tell the kids if they make potty on the potty they could pull the M&M's arm down and get the M&M'd she said the kids would do it just to pull the arm they love to watch the M&M's shoot out the bottom for them. make this only a potty time thing also.
hope one of these ideas helps you. good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

hey i have 3 boys and from my experience we started trying to potty train at 10 months and it took up until they were 3 to 4 years old to learn. my youngest is 3 years old, will be 4 in august and although he knows how to go sometimes he won't tell me. it's all just a learning process. in your case if your child has speech troubles maybe you can work out a way for him to sign you when he needs to go just until his speech can improve to where you can understand him.

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L.L.

answers from Pensacola on

wow..this is a hard one!!!
i had 3 sons and none of them were potty trained until they were 3 yrs old.... boys are much slower the girls at this.
my boys at 3yrs old just stopped the diaper and instantly were using the toilet. i know this is not much help but
letting you know it is not strange for him not to be ready.

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B.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I too was like you I wanted to teach my daughter before I went back to work as well. I started training her before my second was born and continued during maturnity leave. The problem she really wasn't ready. She just turned 3 yrs old and has a few accidents still but was not really potty trained until she was close to 3 yrs old. I hear from everyone boys train later. Don't push him, take him and try to make it fun and rewarding. Don't force him or make it punishment. Accidents will happen and potty training takes time, it wont happen in a few months. Let him adjust to the new baby too. He has a lot he is going through. I think things worked out better when she went to daycare.All of her friends went on the potty and we put her directly in underwear because pull ups never worked for her. She was trained very quickly at school just not at home. Enjoy your newborn and don't rush things. He will catch on when he is ready and he is still young for a boy to be potty trained. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Jacksonville on

I tried potty training my son at 2 1/2 because I thought he was ready (he was talking alot) and it did not work at all. I tried again at 3 years old and he got it right away and was accident free within 2 weeks. Another friend of mine waited until her son was 3 1/2 (kind of late I thought) but he was accident free within 2 days. So, I'm just sharing my experience with you. I think it will be difficult if he can not tell you he has to go pee/poop with words, etc. We did continue to "practice" going on the potty (his and ours) throughout this time span and I think that helped. We read all the kid books and videos too with him. Have you done that?

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T.S.

answers from Gainesville on

Unfortunately I do not think he will do it unless he is ready. I had the hardest time "trying" to potty train my son until I stopped "trying." He did it himself when he was ready and he did it over night, he will not even wear a pull up to bed at night, he refuses to.
Hope all goes well. Good Luck!

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J.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Okay, so my daughter is 3 and she is still not potty trained. I am expecting in 1 month. Everything I've read in terms of potty training warns you not to try until the "new situation" has become a routeen (spelling). I still encourage her, but I don't push it.

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

Since he seems ready, but you are having a hard time communicating, why don't you teach him the signs for going potty? You can look up the ASL or Baby Signs--or just make up your own...

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M.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Let it go. You have enough on your plate to deal with right now, and if you aren't careful you will go back to work burned out. You can try potty training right now if you want, but as you said you have to go back to work. My guess though is that even if you did get him pretty well potty trained, or learned his signs so you didn't have to change his diapers, whoever takes care of him normally will not be as successful, and he will regress again to the state that he is at now. I would just wait. Wait till you at least go back to work for a few weeks, and the routines calm down so that the potty training has a better chance of sucess. Though it may seem impossible to train him while you work, you could do it just by reinforcing the potty in the early mornings and after work. It would transfer over, he isn't going to kindergarten in diapers.

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