I HATE This Cat!!!!

Updated on December 19, 2011
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
17 answers

My husband has a cat...we got her shortly after we got married and she is 13 years old. The last two years or so, this cat has been a nightmare for me. First my husband decided that she did not like the food I was buying her so he decided to keep changing her food. Nevertheless, her poor digestive system did not agree with this and she started having diarhea everywhere. Once we went back to the food that I originally had her on, the problem got a bit better. By that time, I insisted that she be locked in the bathroom at night and when we were not home because of this issue. This drastic action was culminated by the night that this can had diarhea on our bed while we were sleeping. I put my foot down at that point.

So I take her to the vet last week for her check-up and mention the problem. Now the poop problems are not all the time. I TRULY believe that it is behavioural at thsi point. I believe that she is a spiteful animal. The vet seemed to agree and said that we should probably let her out of the bathroom if the diarhea had stopped. So, I relented.

Last night, I went in the laundry room and she had pooped all over a pile of clean clothes. So, I had to take the clothes that I was about to wash out of the washer to separately re-wash the affected clothes on the sanitary cycle. I have had it. At this point, I don't care why she is doing this...it just needs to stop. I told my husband that the cat could live with us or she could not live with us....but she could not act like that and still live with us.

He REFUSES to even discuss this issue. My patience with this cat has worn to none. I CANNOT have any affection for an animal that treats my house like this. I do not want my house to be filthy like this. For all I know, this cat could live another 5-6 years. I cannot deal with this for that long. What can I do? This is an old cat that is probably now unadoptable.

This is causing major friction between my husband and I. At this point, and I hate to be so negative, but just looking at this damn cat pisses me off beyond belief.

ETA: Yes the box is cleaned every day...there is no excuse. It is pretty bad if I can't leave piles of clothes in my laundry room...

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Yes, my husband cleans the litter box as his chore. Yes, he cleans some of the messes. However, I am off of work today trying to get ready for Christmas. I went out to do some errands and came back. During the time I was gone, this damn cat made another mess on top of the washing machine. No clothes this time since I made sure to put everything away. Since the litter box is literally 3 feet away from the washing machine on the floor, how the hell is the cat well enough to JUMP on top of the washing machine to make a mess???? I don't think it is a case of can't make it to the litter box. So, my husband is at work right now....I am not going to leave the mess for 6 hours until he comes home. So who gets stuck cleaning and disinfecting the top of the washing machine??? ME, that's who.

And BTW I DID take a picture of the mess with my phone and send it to my DH....

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

Poor Cat is sick. The cat has feelings and knows you hate it. Cats will go to the bathroom the same area. Horrible what people will think its approrpriate to do to animals. Cruel Cruel

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M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

If its still wet and runny, then she is still sick. Even elderly cats, that are healthy dont have wet poops. She needs a work up on her health. She needs to get a solid bowel movement going. Cats are finicky. They know when they are not welcome or liked, they dont like being sick either. Cats are not known to be fastidious when they are sick. They stop cleaning themselves at this point as well. Address her health and digestion issues. Get her tummy on track before you let her out of the bathroom. The cat is not going to hate you, or love you for being locked in a bathroom. You not a bad owner for it either. She is warm, fed, loved by your husband, and safe. Thats not a bad thing. Once you get her pooping back to solid. Then start as if she was a kitten again. She needs to be retrained. I used a LARGE dog kennel with a small pan for a week, only letting the cat out for a stretch. Then graduated him to the room. No mistakes for a week, he got full access to the house. Mistake? back to the kennel. He is a cat that is so particular, we have 2 boxes, 1 for each level. We put a scoop of clay litter in each box, and after any elimination the box gets dumped and scraped. Then once a week its washed in bleach and vinegar. This has been the only solution to get him to do it everytime. Try throwing your perfectly good box away and getting an under the bed, storage plastic bin, the kind you use for wrapping paper. I know it looks terrible, but I bet it will save your house from the poop wars!

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✩.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

In the words of a cat "MEEEEOOOWW"

Are you making sure her kitty area is clean? Cats will refuse to use their liter box if it is dirty. I would also suggest not leaving piles of clothes around or plastic bags since cats will use those too has a place to pee/poop.

Good luck

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

Cats KNOW when you don't like them. You CANT change the cat. You hafta change how YOU feel about her or she will continue to plague you. And what Sam said, cat's usually prefer their box as long as it's maintained. You might need to switch to a litter that she prefers and that will solve your prob.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

The cat is old, this is not behavioral. You need a new vet or at least one that will tell you the truth instead of placating your hatred of the animal.

The only thing you can do is not leave anything around that could be used as a litter box. It is annoying but it isn't the cat's fault. The cat isn't trying to get back at you for hating it by getting old.

I remember how happy I was when our old cat died, sad that she was gone but happy I could leave stuff around.

Really for you own sanity you need to stop giving human feelings to the cat. The cat poos where it does because it can't make it to the litter box and it looks close enough, not because it wants treat your house poorly.

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

I understand how you feel. Our cat has an auto immune disease called Feline Gingivitis Stomatis Complex, which, in essence, means the body attacks the dentin in the teeth, causing massive infections and sores in the mouth and the surrounding tissue. Not pretty.

Our cat has an issue with throwing up. And there are no hairballs in the mix, so we can't blame it on that. He gets a mixture of both wet and hard foods. He first gets his wet food with his holistic medicine in it (which keeps his body from attacking his mouth) and then, after he eats that, he is allowed to have some of his hard food, which he loves (I know; we probably have the only cat who loves hard food over soft food).

The throwing up part is something our cat cannot control. However, given how bad it is for him when he gets an infection (he's had two of them in his five years of life), his throwing up is truly the lesser of two evils.

I didn't want the cat; my husband and daughter did. (I wanted the dog) However, like all moms out there, I am the one who takes care of everything. Guess that's what moms do. Anyway, I use Nature's Miracle when I clean up the mess. We don't have the prettiest of carpets, but the Nature's Miracle truly does a wonderful job of cleaning. He doesn't throw up all the time, and if there is a span of time between when the cat eats the wet vs the dry cat food, then he has less of a chance at throwing up.

As many of the posters stated, a cat with diarrhea is a cat crying out for help. The cat has a medical issue/problem that needs to be found and addressed.

We have friends who also have an elderly cat. Their cat would also have "accidents" around the house, to the point where kitty was confined to a small space. She didn't like it, the kids didn't like it--the whole family didn't like it. I told the mother about the product that I give my cat for his auto immune issue and gave her one of the containers for her to try on her cat. I didn't hear anything, but the next time they visited, she handed me a brand new bottle and said the medicine had worked so well on the cat that she'd bought more of the medicine and gave me a replacement for the one I'd given her.

It's called Feline SuperFood: Nutritional Support and can be bought from VitalityScience.com. My dog has what's called "trick knee" in humans, and I also buy a supplement to support dog tendons and ligaments from the site as well. I have had excellent results from their products.

Many times, cats have diarrhea issues because the probiotics are off in their gut. The VitalityScience site has different things to help dogs and cats over many issues that ordinary vets are "unable" to help with. One of the major issues they help with is diarrhea in cats and dogs. Good luck. I almost guarantee that if you get some of their products specifically geared toward helping heal the cat diarrhea issue, you will see results.

Don't blame the cat. She is leaving her poo in areas for you to find it and is saying, "Please help me. I don't know what to do and need your help."

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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

I'm really horrified by Kristina's comment. It's disgusting and just shows how this world is falling apart. She thinks it's an animal and not a person, therefore, in her rationale it's not worthy of living, no less living without suffering, being healed, and taken care of? It's so sad......
I really am surprised that a grown, sane person can have so much contempt for a living, breathing, feeling, sentient being that needs help.
It's a cat, can't make THAT much of a mess!
I believe the cat needs a new vet and not to be locked in a bathroom.
Yes, I get that you don't want poo all over your stuff, that's totally fair but the cat is only doing something like this because there is something wrong.

Seriously, if you think that this cat is being vindictive, (which is insane) then you realize that animals have feelings and such, right? Therefore, could you take it one step further and realize that NO animals should be killed or mistreated and have a right to their lives? That would then mean they shouldn't be killed for 'food'.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

Um, okay...can't definitely tell you are frustrated but you are totally personifying this cat.... Cats cannot be "spiteful"...aka passive aggressive. It is a cat, it doesn't have same feelings as humans. Is there an area you can restrict the cat to, like the basement and your husband can take the cat out when he's home?

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S.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

Wow. The answers here are disturbing to say the least. A poor defenseless animal that is sick and is crying out for help and you people are saying to "take her for a ride" or "leave the door open" or "have her poop in your husbands shoe". Then you write "LOL" as if that magically makes it better. yeah, laugh about killing an animal. I wouldn't want any of you anywhere near my children!!!
Bless the beasts and the children for in this world they have no voice. They have no choice.
Think about what you are saying here. I pray you will change your thoughts.
Merry Christmas!

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

Oh T., that is tough. It sounds like what is really bothering you is that your husband is failing to accept how difficult this situation is for you. This cat creates alot of extra work, and you probably feel like your boundaries are being violated (pooping on my bed would be a big problem for me).

If I were in your shoes I would tell my husband that the cat is going in the garage, or the bathroom, most of the time until the digestive issues get resolved. Any mess that the cat makes would be his to deal with. Of course I would still be humane to the cat, but I would ask him to be the sole care-taker.

I would not re-home the cat at this point in its life. If push comes to shove I would euthanize (and I hate to say that - but I'd rather avoid potential cruelty to the cat if its re-homed, or if you're so angry with it that it harms the relationship with your husband).

Maybe this cat problem will lead to deeper understanding and growth with your husband.

I wish you peace, and a good path going forward, with this issue.

Good luck.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

If it's behavioral, what about kitty prozac? Could she be getting senile? If she's pooping, that's one thing. If it's runny, that's something else. I would get a 2nd opinion. You can also try Feliway. My friend swears by it.

I understand that you are upset (my DH was SO angry about one of our cats waking him up and pooping in the sink) but when he got really angry about it, it just made the rest of us not want to be around HIM because he would just yell and threaten our pet vs work on a solution.

One of the things that stopped our cat from messing in the sink was to put water in the sink so it wasn't fun to step in for her. What would deter the cat from the laundry? Could you keep it in hampers (even the foldable kind) vs baskets?

Further, I know it might seem backwards, but what if you did something like feed the cat treats? Make her associate you with good things vs bad things so she won't hate you? DH refused to pet the cat he doesn't like for a YEAR. In that time, I'd decided to give her more affection because I felt like maybe if she wasn't so stressed, she'd behave, and for the most part it's worked.

I would not like a cat defecating in my house everywhere, either, but I'd pull DH aside and see if there's a solution, like the feliway, the vet workup, extra litter cleanings. If she is making a mess, why doesn't he clean up more of them?

And if it's still mostly runny or seems not right, go back to the vet. When our one cat started misbehaving, it ended up being pancreatitis/cancer. He was in too much pain to make it to the box. Many times an animal behavioral problem can be physical.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Okay, I just want to clear something up: If it's actually diarrhea (loose stools), then the cat may not have a lot of control over it. If they are in fact well formed stools, then, yes it may be a "choice."

Have you thought about this from the cat's perspective? I realize it's hard to have empathy with a creature that you're continually having to clean up after in this manner.... But when (if) the cat had actual diarrhea on your bed while you were sleeping, the cat was probably trying to come to you for help/comfort. The cat can't say "my stomach hurts/my body hurts." And once the cat associates pain with pooping, well, no wonder the cat has an aversion to the litter box.

I would take the cat to a vet that speciallizes in cats. Make a list of the cat's actions/symptoms. Try very hard not to imply or say directly that cat is doing this "on purpose." Ask for a full work=up on the cat. (The added benefit is that you'll know how healthy the cat is, so might have a better idea on the lifespan of the cat). Have your husband be there. Talk about options for dealing with this, if it's not a physical ailment causing or affecting the behavior. Medication (I think they prescribe Valium for cats, seriously) may be an option. Behavior modification may also be.

In the meantime, make sure you have multiple litter boxes around the house. If the cat is arthritic and the box is in the basement, well, if you had to climb 2 stories on bad knees to go to the bathroom, and you had no inhibitions telling you not too, you might poop on the laundry too. (okay, probably not, but try to see it from the cat's perspective).

Approach this whole issue from the welfare of the cat and of the family. (Ie, having the cat poop everywhere is not healthy/safe for the family). And if the cat is truly your husband's cat, then he needs to start cleaning & maintaining the litter boxes, and cleaning up the messes.

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T.F.

answers from Tampa on

Have you taken the cat to the vet she could have Giardia or some other infection. My cat got Giardia & that was a mess but it weakened his immune system then he got cancer so be very careful with this. I would take her to the vet ASAP bcuz trust me she is absolutley MISERABLE. Cancer in cats is very common. Changing a cats food can upset their digestive tract especially if its not done the right way by slowly increasing the new food. Again I would take the cat to the vet ASAP. Good luck Let me add also that canned pumpkin is a good way to help stop the runs. Cats love it & its high in fiber which is why it works you can also put benefiber in the water or wet food to help with it as well I think it was 1/4 tsp a day. As for Kristina I hoep to GOD that you never procreate because you will surely screw up any child around you with your lack of feelings for any life.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Realize please that the cat is not doing this to annoy you. The fact that you say, "an animal that treats my house like this" says that you feel as if she is somehow disrespecting you and your home - she is just a cat, not a human being with human emotions and intentions. If there is diarrhea, there is something else going on, and I would get a second opinion from a vet who deals exclusively with cats. I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear, but if there is something medical going on that the cat has no control over, it needs to be addressed. It is not going to just magically stop on its own and it doesn't sound like the vet you took her to really got down to the bottom of the this so that's why I would recommend seeking vet care elsewhere. The cat may have developed inflammatory bowel disease, which can be responsive to medication and/or a special diet. Or it could be developing intestinal lymphoma - the symptoms are similar. At this point really your choices are this: decide to do more to figure out what is causing the diarrhea and accidents, or the kindest thing might be to have the cat euthanized. But that is something you need to discuss with hubby. Just having the cat at home making messes and doing nothing about it is not going to solve anything.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

You cannot control the cat! LOL Since you seem to see the cat doing this on purpose I will add that perhaps it would work for you to look at this as a power struggle between you and the cat and find a way to back out of the struggle. I suggest that you try treating the cat in a warm and loving manner. Then she won't have a reason for getting back at you.

I am only partly serious with this idea. Seems the vet may have been suggesting something similar when he said to let her out of the bathroom. I also know that animals do pick up on human's moods and will engage in pay back. My daughter's boyfriend could not stand my daughter's cat. The cat took to pooping in his shoes. lol

I assume the vet had ruled out physical/medical reasons for the poop. I do think that diarrhea is something that the cat cannot control. I believe that their is a medical component to the diarrhea that the vet hasn't been able to find. It's the pooping in your spaces that I suggest is emotional.

I see this situation not only as a power struggle between you and the cat but also between you and your husband. He loves the cat. Be sympathetic to his feelings and he may be able to then by sympathetic to yours and be willing to put the cat down. I don't see anyone else willing to take an old cat with litter box issues.

Speaking of which. Is it possible that the cat doesn't like the litter that you're using? And I would consider the diarrhea being food related. Trying different foods is a reasonable thing to do. But yet, you're on your husband for trying. Could you accept that this is just the way it is and focus on managing it instead of putting your husband down for his efforts.

I suggest that this is more than just a problem with the cat. It's about control and your husband isn't doing what you want. Neither is the cat. I understand your anger with the cat. However, it's not helping you or the situation when you transfer that anger to include your husband too. It is what it is and doesn't have to cause this rift in your relationship.

If you want to get rid of the cat, be direct and tell your husband the cat has to go. Be sympathetic to his pain. He obviously is attached to the cat. Let him know that you know this is difficult for him, too.

At one point we had a difficult cat. We turned it into an outdoor cat and she's still alive 15 years later.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Personally, I would get rid of the cat. But I'm not sure how you can. Do you have kids? Maybe you can go from that point - that the cat is dirty and bad for your kids to be around when who know where the poop will end up. Is there a way, that maybe you can help the cat poop in your husbands shoe? Lol maybe he'd change his mind then.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

His cat. He cleans the mess. I would seriously go on strike. I wouldn't wash or clean a thing after that cat. Perhaps he isn't considering just how unsanitary it is and if you become pregnant you won't be permitted to clean the cat box or any cat poop because of the risk of getting preeclampsia.

Perhaps if he has to clean up after the cat his position would change.

There is always the option of taking the cat for a long drive while husband is out of the house for a few hours. You could honestly say you haven't seen it and don't know where it is but be prepared to take that secret to your grave.

I just feel for you. But I wouldn't give any more ultimatums I wouldn't be cleaning up after super poopy kitty any longer.

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