I Could Use Some Advice

Updated on September 17, 2009
K.E. asks from Cusseta, GA
8 answers

I recently took him off the bottle. And now when I lay him down for his nap he cry's and bangs his head on the crib. I'm really worried that he is going to hurt himself if he keeps this up. Not sure how to handle this. Any advice would be great.

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So What Happened?

I took him off the bottle 9 days ago.

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

One of my daughters did this. What finally worked was to simply ignore it and walk away or continue whatever I was doing. It's an attention getter and as long as you give attention when he does this it's working for him. V.

1 mom found this helpful

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D.W.

answers from Charleston on

Could you switch to a non-spill sippy cup? Was there a reason to take away the bottle?

What you have to decide is if it's worth it. Are YOUR reasons for taking away better than his reasons to keep it? Why should you not let him take the lead on letting you know what his needs are?

If creating a fight every day for naptime because of some experts idea of you should raise your kid is justifiable. Go for it. I tend to follow my gut and listen to my babe. To me he saying he's not ready to give up the bottle and I'd trust that. Babies ARE wise in that they know their needs and know how to communicate those needs. They also know what they need for comfort. And sleeping alone at a young age requires a lot of comfort. Babies are not meant to be independent sleepers.

If it is necessary he gives up the bottle, I'd wean slowly. Get him a lovey and introduce it with the bottle. Wrap the bottle with it, slowly decrease the amount in the bottle and see if his affection leans more then towards the lovey. Then you know it's a security thing. (Prior to introducing the lovey, you can also sleep with it a few nights so it has your scent. that can help too.) If it's a hunger thing, he'll be pissed that there isn't enough in the bottle and will continue with the crying.

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E.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When you say recently... how recently? The amazing thing about toddlers, they know how to get the fastest reaction out of mommy: 1. Cry

If there is no reason for his crying and banging of the head other than the fact that he is sleepy and wants his bottle, then you can choose to do some tough love. Go through the tuck in ritual, hug him, rock him or sing to him, whatever you do. Keep him close to you and get him drowsy. Then set him down and tell him nap time.

Make sure he's safe and then walk away. Close the door and you go into the kitchen for a glass of water or juice or go into your room and just lay down on your bed and close your eyes for a moment.

You need to give him the time to adapt to the change. Little ones don't have as many resources as we do to deal and explain our emotions. Typically, kids will revert to crying or acting out physically because they don't know what else to do.

Try this for a couple of weeks.

Now, if he is banging himself so hard that he's bleeding, giving himself bruises, etc. That's different. That's abnormal and should be reviewed by a pediatrician. But if he's just doing some wiggling and light banging, he won't hurt himself that much.

Although, if a couple of weeks go by and things are worse, not better, then it's time to re-evaluate the nap time ritual.

Good luck!

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T.W.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi K.,
Without knowing how old your son is it is hard to give advice. But I would say if he is banging his head on the crib to give him his bottle and try another way. Yes, he can hurt himself doing this. Our job as mothers is to keep our children safe, and sometimes that is from themselves. He might be too young/not ready to give it up. Or if he is older than 18 months and really old enough to give up his bottle, try to find a way to ease gently off the bottle. When you take something away, give something else in it's place. Get some fun big boy (sippy or straw)cups and let him have his milk in that. If you are switching from bottle to cup, that is one change. If you are also trying to go from a bottle in bed/before bed to nothing to drink at bedtime, that is a separate change and a lot for your son to adapt to all at once. I agree with one of the other commenter, about listening to what your instincts tell you. The experts don't know your child and what he needs. There is no magic day that your son can't have a bottle anymore. So just listen to your son and listen to your heart and gradually move toward what you want.

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H.T.

answers from Charleston on

Are you staying in the room w/ him when you lay him down? If you are, try laying him down & immediatly leaving the room & closing the door. My sister had to do this. Her boy used to scream the 1st several day's of doing it. She had to ignore him he would stop screaming after about 5minutes or so. After about 2 weeks I think he stopped the screaming as well & went right to sleep. She has a VERY STUBBORN boy. You have to close the door though & ignore them though the very FIRST time. If you don't, they learn that if they keep screaming or hitting or whatever the bad behavior is, than it gets them the attention they want & it can actually make the bad behavior worse instead of better. You could also try giving him some milk in a sippy cup or whatever you are using right before bed- but not in the crib. I never gave my 2 a bottle in the crib but would instead rock them for about 5 minutes before w/ a bottle or sippy cup. When it was empty or the 5 minutes up they went in the crib w/ some classical music on real low & the door closed. The 1st several times it will break your heart though so be prepared. I know it prob won;t help but just remember, they have hard foreheads. If he actually does manage to hurt himself he will likely stop the behavior or not do it so hard the next time. You would be surprised how quickly they learn from their own mistakes. Good luck.

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N.W.

answers from Spartanburg on

K., I assure you your little one will not hurt himself. He is testing himself and you for that matter. Of course it is more difficult for you to watch than it is for him to go through. Remember it is for his own good, think of his teeth, speach advancement..etc.
You are doing great, if you give in and then go through this again you are confusing him for sure. Keep up the good work.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

How old is your son??

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L.L.

answers from Charleston on

Hi K., I am not sure how old your son is, but why not give him the bottle at night only? If not, give a sippy cup he can feel comfortable with lying down. Dont always listen to the "experts" on these time lines they give us on how and when to raise our child. Our great grandmas and even or grandmas and moms did child rearing on their instincts. Sometimes I think we are trying to fit in to what we think everyone else is saying or the books tell us to do that you loose that voice inside. They are only little once! Before you know it they will be off to school and on their own. It really happens in the blink of an eye. Relax, you sound like an awesome mom! Have fun with your baby.

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