My 2 Year Old Wont Fall Asleep in Her Own Bed, and Braking from a Sippy Cup

Try reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" for toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. It really helped me wean my 18 mo. old so that he now goes to sleep in his own bed by himself. I started out by sitting by his crib until he fell asleep and then started moving away farther and farther every couple of nights until I was sitting outside his room. Now I just have to tell him that I will just be right outside the door (I stay for 1 min. and then leave) and he goes right to sleep and stays in his bed all night.

Hi J.,
I like what Halo said. My 2 year old son will be 3 in May. He still wants to sleep in my bed. I needed him to get out so I could rest and so my hubby didn't end up on the couch. I put his crib converted to toddler bed up next to my bed so I am right there by him, I can rub his back, he can feel my presence. It's slmost like a "co-sleeper" bed for a toddler. Sometimes he wakes up in the night and wiggles his way over to me, but at least it's a start.

I don't like the cry it out idea. My son talks very well and has for a long time. Whenever I have let him cry while I was doing something else, he always talks about how I did that and left him there to cry. He asks why I didn't take care of him. (Because I was tired of his crying and I needed to go to the bathroom!!) But seriously, sometimes kids need to cry, but they don't have to be left alone to do it. They can get it out while you hold them and make them feel understood.

Do you have a routine at her bed time? With my girls I read them each a book then rock/cuddle in their room and sing 2 songs each (of their choice) and tuck into bed. They also have special bunny blankets (the animal head with a small blankie attached to it) that they "need" to have when they sleep but only belong in the bed. With the little routine you are spending time in the room with them and hopefully soon she realizes this is what happens and now I lay down in my bed to sleep and that is just the way it is.
Now with the sippy cup, as long as it is just water not milk or juice I wouldn't worry about taking it away. I think especially because we live in the desert and you get thirsty and need a lot of water. I always thought that because I would never go to bed without a glass of water I couldn't send my kids to bed without a glass too. It is harder to get them to stay dry at night but I would rather keep buying pullups than have my babies be too thirsty. That is just me personally, you do what you feel your little one needs and if you think she needs the extra water don't feel guilty sending her to bed with it!
Good luck on the bed thing, it isn't easy at first but she will learn:)

You know, when my son was about 2 years old he always wanted to watch a movie to go to bed. So, I would take a blanket and a pillow out in front of the TV and wait till he fell asleep adn then moved him into his bed. After that phase he wanted me to sleep with him in his bed...so at night I would give him a bath and read him a book, put some lulliby songs on for him...I would lay there with him until he fell asleep then I would go to bed myself. Now if he gets a book read he will go to sleep in his own bed. I think the main thing is keep it consistant and do the same thing everynight and they will think that is how it is supposed to be.
Good luck.
Sam

Hi J.

After I read your post, the first question that came to my mind is how is your nighttime routine? Your two year old probably needs attention from you for a good 30 minutes in order to be settled enough to fall asleep. This doesn't mean sleeping eith her, but it does mean real focused attention from snack to brushing teeth to bedtime story, and maybe a song or 5 minute cuddle after lights out. If you are consistant in this, then your chances of her falling asleep are really good.

As far as the sippy cup, why not let her keep a sippy or sportsbottle of WATER with her? Sometimes kids just feel thirsty at night. But you should be really strict about nothing but water, due to tooth decay issues.

I have to say, you might need to get a DVR, because I haven't been able to watch prime-time TV DURING prime time for years now, due to getting kids to bed committments :)

You need to set the expectations you have for her and if that is sleeping in her bed then tell her that. Do the suppernanny bedtime routine. Choose a routine to indicate that it is bedtime like bath and story then place her in her bed and kiss her goodnight and walk out. If she gets up then tell her "its bedtime baby" and put her back in her bed. If she gets out of her bed again be matter of fact and tell her "its bedtime" and if she gets out again.... don't tell her anything just put her back in her bed and DO NOT speak to her. Keep doing this until she falls asleep. I latch my son's door and some people put gates up to keep their child in their rooms to fall asleep. But after we had set the expectation that when we put him in bed he needs to stay in bed we really didn't need to use the latch anymore.
As for the sippy cup give it to her about an hour before bedtime maybe with some cheerios or something so her belly is full and refuse to give it too her before she goes to bed. Your the parent and if you decide that she shouldn't have the sippy cup before bed then DO NOT give it to her. We make decisions and rules like that for a reason and children need to respect that- we are the parents and we just can't be push overs.

www.momtomombiz.com

I had to take the sippy cup away durring the day before I could get it out of the bed. Plus I just refused to put anything but water in it anymore and I would slowly put less and less in the cup. As for sleeping by himself every night is still a fight. Night lights finaly helped. I was never alowed to sleep with my door open but the bedrooms are upstairs so I let hm keep the door open but I put a baby gate in the doorway, but that may not work for you if your little one is already useing the toilet. But he was 3 before I took him out of his crib.

J., it may be the placement of her bed that is affecting her, or other stimulants in her room. It is important that the bed is place so she has a view of the door or any windows in the room. If ou have lots of action fitures, dolls animals or bright primary colors on bedspread you may want to tone it down or reduce some of the noice. Also if you have any mirrors, remove or cover them. I am a feng shui consultant and these things may help. Good luck!
L.

Sounds like you may have to go "cold turkey" on the sippy cup. It sounds as if your daughter knows that her will is stronger than yours. We have one of those! It is definitely tough to be a parent and to actually BE the parent.
You may attempt to establish a rewards chart and have your child mark it every time she sleeps in her own bed and possibly even when she goes without the sippy cup. We attempted this sort of thing, and it would work - depending on the reward and our will to be strong no matter what!
Good luck!

As a mother of 6 beautiful children that are fairly well adjusted :) can I just second everything that Gina P. and others have said?! I have had the same struggles and handled them the same way. It is the shortest solution, and the easiest on you, which then is the easiest on them in the long run. They don't need a dragged out cranky mommy! Bed time is an important part of a daily schedule. They need their rest, and you do to. They get plenty of love and one on one time during the day. They know I have their best interest at heart because my world always relvolves around them. Even at two you can tell them why it is important for them to learn to sleep on their own. Be firm but loving, set the pattern for your relationship for the rest of the next 20 years.

I also handled the sippy cup thing with water. Actually both my 3 year old and 5 year old still go to bed with a sippy of water. Guess what? It is completely full in the morning! They don't even drink it! Sometimes I offer it to them as I am putting them down (actually try to approach it to their mouths) and they say, "No thank you Mom, just set it right there by my pillow." Crazy, but I am fine with it. They do both drink a lot of water during the day which is great.

One note: Take these two battles one at a time!! Keep the sippy for two more weeks until the sleeping is more established. Then work on putting water in the sippy at a later date.

I would really suggest reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is very helpful to help you learn about babies and sleep as well how to get them on a good routine. It is helpful past preschool age too. Good luck.

As far as the sleeping in her own bed goes, this can be tricky. The best thing to do is just keep putting her in her bed everytime she gets out. It will be hard but you have to stick to it. I had a similar problem with my older son and we just had to ignore the bad behavior and reward the good (thhe finally decided the battle wasn't worth it.) Think of something she really likes and offer it to her if she stays in her bed. You could even try giving her small rewards for staying in bed for small incriments of time and work your way up to all night.
As far as the sippy cup goes, I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as it's only water. Both my kids have water on their nightstand and before they were old enough it was in a sippy. Just don't give her milk or juice. Hope that helps you; good luck!

Hi J.,

If she is still in a crib I usually opt for the cry it out method as far as her sleeping in her bed. It is tough for the first 3 or 4 nights, but just put her in bed, leave, wait 5 mins, go in (if she is crying of course) don't say anything to her just lay her down again, and leave. Then let her cry for 8 min, and do the same thing, increasing the time she is alone in there. With my daughter it took about 2 nights, I slept on the couch and I won't lie it seemed like I was up all night long, but after that it was not a problem at all. If she is in a big girl bed, and you still have access to your crib I would explain that you are putting her back in her crib because she won't stay in bed and then do the crying thing. After about 6 months or so of sleeping good she can go back to her big girl bed. I know it seems like a lot of work, but it will be worth it in the long run! Gook Luck! :)

Dear Mommy J.,
From a now Grandma who raised two children.
Sharing feelings from what I "should have done."
Take a breath - your little one is ONLY 2! We expect too much from our children. She is probably afraid to be alone in her room. Try: Keeping a light on & a tape/CD player that plays continour music - soft music. Be sure she has her favorite blanket & lots of soft fun toys. Read stories before bedtime & lots of hugs.
As to the sippy cut - Again - she is ONLY 2! She has a "little" tummy which can't hold much. She gets thursty - so how bad is it to just give her a sippy cup of water - not juice - just water. These are all comfort items & it's OK.
Mary Ann Homewood, Surprise, AZ

Hi J.,
We had similar situation with our son this past summer. He is going to be 3 in May so he was a little over 2. We put him in a toddler bed in preparation for a summer vacation we were taking a few months later and he did fine but while we were away, he was uncomfortable going to sleep on his own since we were in a strange place so I layed down with him. Once we got back home, he refused to stay in his bed and wanted me to lay down with him until he fell asleep as well as every time he woke up during the night. It was awful. We decided to put him back in a crib and he cried for 10 minutes the first night and that was it. We just bought him a full size bed a month or so ago and he is doing great in it. My advice to you is to put your daughter back in a crib as long as she is not climbing out. We never had that problem with our son. If hse does climb out, I am not sure what you should do. We only put our son in a bed as early as we did because he was not going to have a crib to sleep in on our trip. Otherwise I would have waited until he was closer to 3. As far as the sippy cup goes, we let our son take a sippy cup with water to bed every night. If your daughter will take it with water, let her have it. It is only if it has juice or milk that tooth decay will occur. Good luck.

is it really a problem for **you**? or are you getting pressure from others saying she "should" be falling asleep in her own bed, by herself? here's the thing, if it isn't a problem for you, then no one else gets a vote.

my son at 2 (he's now 3) was just ending his nursing career, was very attached to my hair, and still **needed** a lot of help going to sleep. and that was how we looked at it. he needed that help. he needed to know that sleep was a good thing, not a scary thing. learning to fall asleep and stay asleep in their own bed is a big deal and can be scary to little people. we take it for granted, but we shouldn't. we simply don't remember when we learned how to sleep on our own, in the dark.

i could not ever let him cry it out. and i absolutely do not believe it is necessary to the life or learning of a child.

when nate was 2, i would nurse him, then i would lay in bed with him for 30-45 mintues so that he could play with my hair while he fell asleep. (this left me wiped out.) often i would leave before he was fully asleep. eventually, we brought in "the hair" (a lock of my hair that i had cut off months before) and slipped it to him in the dark while he was playing with my hair. after a few nights of that he took it without question. it has basically replaced me. after that we worked on weaning, which wasn't terrible to accomplish for us. he still goes to sleep with the hair.

if she is in a toddler bed or a twin bed, i wouldn't suggest going back to the crib. that could be a giant step backwards and confusing for her.

have you tried finding her a lovey? that's basically what the hair is for nate. some kids will take to a stuffed animal, some take to a favorite toy. the idea is to give them something they can love to help them fall asleep. eventually, they will only need the trigger of the lovey and the dark to fall asleep. nate has a managerie of animals that he sleeps with; some of them travel with us when we go somewhere. even in the car. again, they are lovey's they help him feel secure enough to fall asleep without a fuss. sometimes they are even the only reason he'll nap. "your kitty is really tired and wants to take a nap with you. 'won't you please take a nap with me nate?'" he associates them with sleep, but also with comfort. it might be worth a try. i know girls tend to love all kinds of animals and dolls, but this one should be a special one. she can help you pick it out. (make sure to get two in case one gets lost or destroyed. just put the other one away somewhere.) talk to her about the purpose of the lovey. tell her that she'll be going to sleep in her own bed with her new lovey. you can agree to stay in her room for a little while as she settles down, just so she knows you'll be there if she needs you. but gradually make that time, less and less.

it might also help to establish a bedtime routine. our routine is: jammies, mama says goodnight and i love you, storytime with papa, fishy time with papa (he has a fish tank that they lay in the dark and watch), quiet time with papa (where they can talk about the day and resolve any hanging thoughts or feelings), then papa says goodnight and i love you, and then he's out of the room. nate falls asleep by himself, in his own room. he has a nightlight, which has always been there more for us than for him. we do it all in his room, in his bed.

ultimately, it has to work for your family. like i said, if the way she is falling asleep now doesn't bother you, then it shouldn't bother anyone else. they don't get a vote. no one got a vote as to how long i laid in bed with nate to help him fall asleep when he was little. no one got a vote when he slept with us until he was nearly two. it absolutely has to be ok with only you.

good luck.

We co-sleep, so I can't really say, but I've heard that you should take her in her bed a lot, and just have fun, so she starts to see her bed as a fun, warm, inviting place. I'd also let her sleep with a bear or something she loves. Can you lay in there with her for a while, until she's used to it???

Hi J.,

The bed thing never worked for me either. I read a book called babywise and that helped. I can't remember if I got this from babywise or elsewhere, but I started letting my kids cry themselves to sleep, The first night was awful, but I knew that she was ok in her crip she was fed and fine, it was a matter of her learning to comfort herself, and even though I was in tears myself, i pushed through and it only took about 5 days. The fist night, she screamed for about 4 hours (it may be different for your 2 year old, depending on how stuborn she is) off and on, she would fall asleep from exhaustion and then get back up and cry some more, until she finally fell asleep. The second and thrid night were slightly better, screaming for about 3 hours, and then it tapered off to the last day, her crying for like 30 min and then fell asleep. The nice thing about afterwards, is she knew that bedtime is bedtime and that I was not going in there. she learned to comfort herself. Whatever you do, if you start this, DO NOT GO IN THERE, b/c once you do, it's going to be that much harder to start again. (I speak from experience) and not only slept better at night, but she seemed a bit more dependent with other things, like when I would go to my moms group and leave her with babysitting, or if I walked out of the room, she was secure and knew I was comming back for her.

The sippy cup, I always just put water in it, b/c it was more of a comfort thing for them, rather than needing the substance, so the water was great, and it also taught my kids to drink water. They are 13 and 10 now and are avid water drinkes, I attribute that for starting them when they were babies.

Hope this helps
G.

My daughter just turned 2 and she's been doing the same thing! She was really good at sleeping through the night and now she just cries and cries and wants her sippy cup. She didn't used to have a sippy cup at night, but now she acts like she's going to die if she doesn't get it.