How to Talk to My Son About His Dad Moving Away?

I don't think you should say anything right now. I would stay with the "dad is in Florida" and keep it light. When and IF he tells you he's moved to Florida then tell your son, but I wouldn't necessarily do a big sit down we have to discuss something very serious - I would over snack say that you know dad has been visiting and now it looks like he's staying down there. He's always going to be dad and we'll figure out when you get to see him. It sounds like dad could be back and forth at any point in time. Don't tell your son his dad is coming to visit until he's on the doorstep. Even though it won't be your "fault" if his dad doesn't show up, you'll be the one trying to mend the heart break.

I know your pain. You want the relationship for your son with his dad, but its nothing you have any control over. All you can do is be the best parent for your son. In that, you will also get the tears and the disappointment in missing his father. You will get the anger and frustration that comes from the abandonment. There was a time, I had a lot of anger that I was consoling children crying for their father who moved to another state. I remember thinking he should be the one seeing this pain instead of me wanting desperately to take it away from them. One day, I decided to see it differently. Yes, he was causing their pain but I was the only one they trusted to share it with. They trusted me with their pain and he would never get to see their true hearts again. He would only get the Disneyland idol worship, but I would be the one they share everything else with.

I found that sometimes important information was shared best with our daughter, while I was driving and she was in the back seat of the car. . Casually bringing up important topics or sensitive subjects.

Time to mention how his dad will be in town. Not sure exactly they will be meeting up. Mention why dad is in town, never lie to your son. Just explain honestly but age appropriate what is going on.

The deal with the grandfather is pretty much the same with my step father. He is terrible with children, but came to find out, His father was really, really strict and mean, so he does not have the tools to deal with children being children.Once I found out this information, I was able to explain this to our daughter. I told her to be polite to him, but she did not have to be left alone with him.

Is your son going to be in the 4th grade in the fall? If so, this is an age that he can handle a lot more truth than you may believe. Give him info little by little. always ask him, do you have any questions about what I just told you? And then mom, answer them as unbiased as possible.

Again, remember, your son probably knows and has figured out a lot, so be honest and always ask your son, do you have any questions? How does this make you feel? Do you have any other questions. He needs to know you love him and know he can handle this.

My dad had a lot of emotional problems. Ended up as an alcoholic and a drug abuser.. It took him a very long time to get his act together, but he finally did.

My granddaughter's dad lives in Tulsa. She couldn't pick him out of a crowd of 3 people...she has no idea what he looks like.

I tell her that her father loves her, he pays his child support each month so that's evidence he cares, I tell her he works hard to give her money and that he's not a bad guy but he just don't understand what kids need. That hopefully when she's a mom she'll remember this and make sure her kids know they're loved and cared about.

Make up a story so he doesn't feel horrible about himself. He doesn't need to know dad's a hiney and couldn't care much less. He needs to think his dad loves him at least in some way.

Can you talk to dad about how you hope he will handle the talk and see if he is open to being honest and gentle with your son? If not then just sit him down and explain things in a way that does not paint his dad in a bad light.

Are you and your ex in a place in your relationship where you could sit down and talk to your son together? Have his dad break the news and explain why he's moving, but you can be there to help keep the conversation at an age appropriate level? I think that would actually be the best way to do it.

Otherwise, you need to have a conversation with his dad prior to the visit, before you say anything to your son. You need to agree on how and when to tell your son. You need to be 100% sure he really is moving before you break that news. Also, it will probably have a serious effect on your son's mood and behavior during the visit, and you may not want to spoil it, when keeping quiet would allow your son to have a great visit with his dad instead.

So sorry you are going through all of this. :(

well, he's 8, and his dad has already set a pattern of unreliability. and it sounds as if you've risen to the challenge of providing stability and sanity admirably.
so i'm not sure why not just continue as you have. give very, very basic facts as needed, and answer questions simply as they arise.
i wouldn't get too caught up in impressing him with the 'gravity' of the situation. he's old enough to understand what's happening, and too young to grasp every nuance, nor does he need to.
i don't know why you'd need to change anything about the way you've handled all the potential problems thus far.
khairete
S.