How to Respond to Kids' Questions About My Daughter's Height

She needs to learn about the advantages of being short. I had the opposite problem I was so tall people thought I was "slow" and at least a year older than them. My mom taught me the advantages of being tall and you need to teach her the advantages of being short. What those are, I am not certain as I have no experience.

I'm 5'3" ... I always remember my teacher telling me in 2nd grade: The best things come in small packages!

I think you need to help her be okay with being short. Be her cheerleader and help her understand that people come in all shapes and sizes. The comment of "You look like a kindergartener" doesn't need to be taken negatively....a lot of it will be her reaction.

I am also short (5'1"). I got teased in elementary school - but I shook it off. If someone said "you look short" I'd respond with "I am short". To me, it would be the same thing if someone said "you look like you have brown hair"....well, I do. It's just fact. There's nothing wrong with it. Do I wish I was taller - yes. It would be wonderful not to have to hem every pair of pants I buy. It just is what it is. Someone has to be the shortest, someone has to be the tallest, someone has to be the smartest, etc. It is your job as her mother to help make her feel secure with who she is. She is going to be short, so the sooner she accepts that and learns that it's not some deficiency and there are short people and tall people in the world, the better off she will be.

First of all, short little petite girls are the cutest! Kids and adults. I have seen some beautiful, amazing, strong women come in at 5 foot when "measured". That has nothing to do with who they really are.

When someone asks how old she is, just say "6". No need for any further explanation.

I think you may be overly sensitive to this, understandably so. Perhaps you are relaying some of that sensitivity on to your daughter? Please try very hard not to do so! If you and she don't think being little/short is a bad thing, no one else will either!

Kids will always tease, unfortunately. If the worst she gets is "you look like a kindergartner", I think she is going to do wonderfully!

When the kids point out her short height, she can simply say "and?" I mean really, what negative is there about being short? It isn't like she has three heads (sorry to any three-headed kids' moms). =)

Best wishes to you!

I was once told I was too little to learn to swim. I've always been short. When your momma's 5'2" and your daddy is 5'4", you're not destined to be tall. My DD (though her dad's 5'9") is trending the same way.

Try to think of good things about being short. Okay, so sometimes it's hard to reach things, so you get a stepstool or learn to climb on things. And if she's tiny, she can be cute. And if people think she's not old enough or smart enough, surprise them that she IS. Short doesn't mean she's incapable. I'd build her up the same way I'd build any kid up. My SD is very tall (almost 6ft) and that has its own challenges.

On Little Bill, there was an episode where the father taught Little Bill to say "So?" to mean things another kid said. "You look like a kindergartner!" "So?" So what? She's short. And that guy has freckles and that girl over there has a lazy eye and you got a bad home haircut. So?

I'm sorry you were teased as a kid. Maybe helping her will help you.

One of my favorite books addressing this subject is by Bill Cosby titled "The Meanest Thing To Say". It would be very appropriate for your daughter since the story is about a kid in elementary school. It is a short read and very well illustrated. My kids love this book.

Another experience I've had is a child in school was having brain surgery and was going to have a drain and many other things that were not "normal". The teacher took time when school first started to explain what was going to be happening to this young man. Then, (I'm sure she had talked with him about it previously) he came up to the front of the room and answered any questions the kids had. That might be a possibility since this is a medical condition that could be a learning experience for them in so many ways. Anyway, the result was there was no teasing. The students got behind this young man 100% and he was a happy kid. I think sometimes people (kids and adults) make fun of stuff they don't understand.

Blessings to you as you walk through this with your daughter.

L.

I would just keep it short, factual and sweet.

"She's 6." would be the appropriate response if someone asks her age, right? LOL

Seriously, kids are usually just curious. Make sure you're not reading "meanness" into simple curiosity.

As for your daughter, I think she can say "I'm short, but I'm the same age as you." or something like that. She doesn't need to defend herself at this point. If she IS short, she needs to be OK with that. It's OK to be shorter, or taller, or thinner or heavier than the other kids her age.

Short is what maker her --her! And what makes her unique and special. Make sure to tell her that.

Good luck!

I'm short... there was this other girl my height in high school who wore, no joke, 5 inch heels every day to make herself look taller... and she tried picking on ME!! What!? I finally told her that I'm okay being me, at least I'm not trying to be something I'm not!! I got a lot of respect from my peers for saying that.

I'm still shorter than most everyone, but when I meet someone my height, it's sooo weird being eye to eye with someone and not looking 'up' at them to have a conversation. My baby brothers are both over a foot taller than me.

I love being petite :) Hopefully your daughter will grow to love the skin she's in!! That's the way she was made, and that's BEAUTIFUL thing :)

Good things come in small packages!! :o)

I would be general but try to explain it to them.

"Her body just hasn't told it to grow yet" or just use the genetics "Her father and I are shorter so she is just going to be shorter- just like your mom and day may have blonde/brown hair so you have blonde or brown hair"

Kids can be mean when they don't understand something so maybe make sure your little one knows the reasons herself and give her some good "come backs" so she knows there is nothing wrong with her and how to respond when the kids bring up her height.

My family is not exactly tall by any means, but my baby sister was tiny compared to the rest of us. I'm 5'3 1/2". She's 4'11 1/2". She has ALWAYS looked far younger than she really is. She's 26 now and routinely gets asked where she goes to highschool.

When she was very young, it bothered her, because everyone thought she was 2-3 years younger than she actually was. So at 6, people thought she was 4. It was h*** o* her.

As she got a little older, she started just shrugging it off. When people would tell her she was short, she'd respond "No, I'm not. I'm perfect", or "And look how adorable I am!", or "I know, it's wonderful, isn't it?", or even just "Yep!". These types of answers throw people, even other kids, for a loop and they tend to stop the teasing.

Build up her self esteem by letting her know that "short" is just another word, and another thing. It's like having brown eyes, or blonde hair, or freckles, or a light or dark skin tone. It's just the outward who we are. It's the inside who we are that makes people like us. Short is beautiful, just as is tall. Think how much more boring it would be if we were all the same!

Don't let her know that it upsets YOU. If YOU act like being short is nothing different than being brunette, she'll come to not be bothered by it quite so much.

Edit:
As Kristina M said, there are certainly advantages to being short. For one, people ALWAYS think you're so smart and advanced, because you look younger than you are. No one will ever expect MORE of her than she can handle, and she'll be able to surprise everyone with how smart, fast, whatever she is!

awww! I'm short too (literally only 5ft tall). I don't know how tall you are, but I've always been happy that I've been the cute little petite girl vs the girl who's taller than anyone. (no offense to any of you tall ladies out there!)

My son lately has had trouble wrapping his head around the fact that while I'm an adult I am short and that there are kids taller than me :-)

Back to your question. I think we are all different and we all come in different shapes and sizes. I'm surprised you got teased for being short, I guess I had nice kids in school b/c I never got teased. I think I'd just teach her to embrace what she has and not let those girls get to her! She could say that she's not short, she's petite!

I hope some more mamas give you some advice to deal with it, but kids always find something to pick on. Be proud of who you are!

My daughter is in the 5th grade and is only 49 inches tall and weighs 50lbs. She has always been itty bitty and the kids at school have made comments. They tell her to go back to 3rd grade because there is no way she is in 5th grade. Keep in mind she has been at the same school with mostly the same kids and they know she is where she belongs. I have always told my daughter that she is the way that God wants her to be. I make sure that she knows everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with her. Some days are harder than others, but on those hard days I comfort her and remind her that being small is not a bad thing. My problem that I have is that she does not want to gain weight even though she really needs to. We keep telling her that in order for her organs to properly work, she needs to be a healthy weight.

I was volunteering in my sons class (also 1st grade) yesterday. When he came in from recess, he said that one of the boys in his class said EXACTLY what was said to your daughter!! The only difference is that he is not short! He is average on the taller side. My point is that kids can be so cruel and will say anything to bring another kid down. It's been like this since the beginning of time, however, I feel like we should be more evolved by now. Teaching our kids to be kind IS KEY...it starts with the parents!

Well since you are short and this is gH deficiency this will be an issue. My granddaughter is small for her age but what she lacks in height and weight she makes up for in smarts. Your daughter can respond to the comments by saying I am short like my mom and you can respond to them that she is short like you. There is nothing wrong with being short. It comes in handy sometimes, and not everyone can be tall. Go on the internet and find some famous people that are short that she know. Now she many never play basketball but she could still be the president or the Dr. that finds the cure for cancer or some other disease. We come in all different sizes and shapes so don't put your insecurities on her. My best friend is only 5 feet and she makes 6 figures. If you watch Gray's Anatomy the actress that plays Dr. Amanda Bailey has a stool that she stands on so she can operate and they have incorporated that in the story line. Short is just as cool as tall and average height. It's all in how you handle it so that she feel comfortable and confident.

Talk to her about WHY kids make fun of her/other people. My son has been picked on by another little boy since 1st grade who says my son's ears stick out (they actually don't) and it initially made my son self-conscious about it. My message to my children is that kids say unkind things to other kids to make them feel better about themselves--they feel badly about themselves because of either something in THEIR homelife/family/current situation or about the way THEY actually look. And what they are doing isn't right, you are just to ignore them and to make sure you never act/respond the same way. My son is in 3rd grade and it has worked so far. We just reinforce all of his wonderful attributes and the focus isn't on looks anyway....

Her answer to those kids is "great things come in small packages!!"

My youngest is shorter than the rest of our family. Compared to her class she looks a year younger.

The thing is people that want to pick on other kids seem to have a sense for other people's buttons. The easiest way to help your daughter is to make her feel okay in her skin.

What I am saying is they are continuing on this theme because of your daughter's reaction. Like my daughter, someone asks what age or grade she is she says 10 or 5th. She doesn't connect it to her height. She doesn't see anything wrong with being short. Your daughter's issues, your issues are what is causing her to make that connection and it is hurting her. So stop making that connection. They only ask because they want to know, not to hurt her feelings.

I am actually on the opposite side of things. I was always the tallest in my class and since lines were usually based on height, I was near the end with the boys. I was teased, but good naturedly by friends. I did feel uncomfortabel due to my height but now, I have no problem with it. Of course, I stopped growing freshman year HS so not really tall though everyone thought for sure I would be at least 6 feet--glad I am not though. My girls are teased for being tall. At 12 they are only 1/4 inch shorter then I am . I try to tell them not to let it bother them. Sometimes they roll it off and other times they are more sensitive to it. There are advantages of being different heights. And they do go to school with some kids that I wonder if they really should be in middle school. They look like 2nd or 3rd graders. When asked how old she is, just say "she's 6" and leave it there.

I think you should just tell her she is just the right size for her. Just continue to have conversations about how all people are unique. My daughters and I have had this conversation many times. We point out different ways that people can be special (hair color, eye color, wearing glasses, being tall, being strong etc). We just make it a big discussion about how everyone is different and you need to respect everyone. You don't have to be friends with everyone but you have to be friendly to everyone.

FYI my oldest daughter is also in first grade this year and she has told me who the shortest kids/tallest kids are, as well as which kids are boys/girls. I don't think she has a negative connotation with the differences, but rather is just pointing them out. Just keep letting your daughter know how special she is, and maybe the comments wont bother her as much.

Good luck!

as a mom of two very short girls (my 12 yr old is only 57 inches tall and 60 lbs) I understand what you are going through. The first day of 6th grade she was looking at a sea of chests instead of faces. We have always told our kids that it's better being short, and told them why (shorter is cuter after all!). Teach her how to answer the questions in a good way like "Yep, I'm short, but i make up for it in attitude" or "I am perfect sized" or "I'm just the right size for me and that's all that matters".
I must be very lucky as neither of my kids have ever been teased at school about their height. Our schools are very positive and make a point of not having any negative stuff like that happen somehow.

Well, my daughter kind of got a double whammy because she is very tiny and also started kindergarten at 4. She WAS smaller than the other kids. She didn't let it get her down too much though. In the 3rd grade, she got the nickname "Mighty Mouse" and at first she thought the kids meant it in a bad way. It was just the opposite. She may have been little, but she was a dynamo. She was very outgoing and gregarious.
My mother is short. Five feet tall. She never had low self esteem about it. Heck, she's the type of person who never let being short stop her from doing anything she wanted to do.
I'm 5'8", but my daughter is built exactly like my mother. So, she grew up with my mom being a great role model for taking having a diminutive stature in stride.
My daughter will be 25 in October. She is the cutest little thing you've ever seen.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is just let her know it's okay to say, "Yes I'm little. So what? Great things come in small packages".

Some very famous people are short. They didn't let it ruin their chances for a happy, successful and fulfilling life.
Show your daughter she can embrace who she is, how she is.

Best wishes.

Only one year from kindergarten to 1st grade so tell them it's not that much difference and also find a taller child and tell them some grow faster, some slower and in the end who cares?