How to Handle Son's 1St Crush?

Updated on September 25, 2014
L.F. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
12 answers

I'm pretty sure my 8 yo son has a crush on his teacher. How do you handle their 1st crush? :)

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm sorry - what's the problem here? The teacher isn't reacting in an inappropriate manner, is she?

I wouldn't do anything personally - other than let my kid talk about his crush. Ask open ended questions...this too shall pass...

6 moms found this helpful

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

What's to handle. Leave it alone your son will have a million crushes. It requires nothing from you at all.

9 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Um, don't?
Unless he specifically comes to you asking questions just let it go.
I would take it as a good sign that she's a great teacher, and he simply adores her.
ETA: and maybe she's pretty too :-)

8 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I'm not sure there's anything to handle.
Just let it run it's course.

8 moms found this helpful

R.X.

answers from Houston on

My son had a crush in his music teacher grade 4 and on his classroom teacher grade 5.

He got his best grades then...

Like B says, it will pass.

5 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Handle it?
I don't even know what that means.
I wouldn't do anything.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Talk....and listen. Validate his feelings.

Ask what he likes about her. Keep the communication open so that he knows he can talk to you about sensitive topics.

Boys loooove their teachers for many reasons. Often teachers are an extension of you..his M.. He feels safe around her. She makes him feel smart. She teaches and nurtures. He spends a ton of time with her everyday.

Just validate his feelings with, Yes..Ms. Smith is very nice. Yes..she is very intelligent and very good at her profession. She is very creative etc. Focus on her strengths and abilities. Not so much on her pretty face and physical qualities. Your are nurturing the foundation for him having "feelings" about the opposite sex. Build that on her strengths,talents and abilities...not on the superficial physical stuff.

Find out what the teacher likes and talk to him about her hobbies and interests. Teach him how to get to know a person and how to talk to a person about their goals,dreams and interests.

My now almost 15 year old had crushes on teachers when he was younger. They never developed into anything other than just strong feelings of admiration. Now he is a charming, musically gifted, athletic 6 foot, tan, surfer looking young man. My worries about teacher/student crushes are a little more heightened because teachers adore him. But, nothing has ever developed because he thinks all his teachers are "old". Ummmmm...40 isn't old. But I am glad he thinks that and that he understands inappropriate relationships.

An 8 year old crushing on his teacher is totally normal! Don't sweat it. Just talk about his feelings. It is so good to start helping boys put into the words the angst that is going on in their little developing minds and bodies. A safe and open relationship with his mom and dad will make for smoother transitions when the "crushes" turn into waaaaay more serious feelings.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

What is your concern? Crushes are so normal and run their course most often with no difficulty.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

What is there to handle? I'm not sure what you are really asking.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Don't make a big deal about it. Pretty much ignore it. Listen to him if he talks about it but do not put much emphasis on it

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Ignore it. Be glad he wants to please her. If he talks about how wonderful she is, you say "That's nice. I'm glad you like her. I think she's a good teacher."

She's seen this before - let her handle it. She'll let you know if anything gets inappropriate or over-the-top.

If he wants to do things like buy her gifts, say no. That's not what students do. If he wants to please her, tell her he can do that by doing his work, focusing in class, being respectful, etc. If he says she spends too much time with other students, let him know that she is doing her job, she's a professional, the other kids are just as important, and so on. Nothing elaborate - just brief comments that he's one of many!

It will wear off.

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

L.F.
This is an important milestone in your son's life.
It is a beautiful thing.
See things from his point of view.
This is a child who is beginning to experience love outside
of himself.
Remember when you were that age.
It will be a time for reflection for you too.
Enjoy the season with your son.
It is so beautiful to be in love.
It will transfer into love for learning.
D.

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