How Do You Get "Alone Time"?

When my kids were younger it was the morning. Now that my youngest is a teen I get it when they do, which is kind of all the time. Well when I am not at work but right now my annoying co worker down the hall is gone, my office mate is in Destin, so pretty alone and quiet right now.

Meh, back to work.

Truly?

I take a book into the bathroom and sit on the toilet for as long as I can get away with before my husband or my youngest son (age 4) "needs" something! Occasionally, my 6 year old will also "need" something, but he's pretty good about leaving me alone to poop - and my 10 year old is very good about it! :D

Sometimes waking at 4 am gets me alone time, but there's no guarantee that the 4 or 6 yo won't get up too.

Evening after bedtime. My husband works nights, and DDs bedtime is 8:00... I use the time right after bedtime to clean up the house and deal with any falling-asleep issues my dd may have. Then, by 9:30, the house is silent and I get my quiet time to relax before I go to bed.

I fold laundry and magically everyone disappears. :)

When my kids were babies the only alone time I got was in the bathroom! When my kids were little I scheduled my alone time. I usually went out Saturday mornings by myself to shop, have breakfast with friends or go to garage sales. I also tried to get away for a girls weekend and a couples weekend without kids a couple of times a year. Now that my kids are older it is easier to get alone time, but I don't find I need it as much as I used to. I do have an hour each morning to read the paper before they get up, and I do watch tv for about an hour each night after they go to bed.

You've got as many as 10 people in your home. It's a wonder you get any alone time. Well done you.

Me, I have more than I know what to do with. We both work full time, DS is in pre-school or summer camp full time, and goes to bed at 8ish. The nights are my own. I happy hour every two weeks or so, hubs and I each get a weekend morning to ourselves, and every two months or so do a date night out.

Might get a few bonsai for "company."

F. B.

I pee with the door closed.
Some days that is the only alone time at all.

I kick them outside to play. And they've always had a rather early bedtime.

I take it.
Over the years I have learned that if I don't just inform my DH that I'm going to do "xx" by myself, I just won't get it. He is not the type that offers. And sometimes it requires leaving the house to keep the kids from following me.

But I have learned to be assertive and put my needs first, for just even an hour a day, to keep my sanity. I don't wait to fit it in. I schedule it. And I simply refuse my time to be having to wake up before everyone else to get it. DH is in this with me, so he can step in.

Your kids grow up, and then you have more than enough alone time.

Like you, in the morning or after they are in bed when I slip away for a long soak in the tub.

My strategy is also early rising. Usually up with my husband at 6 or so to have my cup of tea, check email, etc.

I knew I was pretty introverted before we had our son; we wanted a small family and so we have one child who is now 7. Being the parent of an 'only' means that while he's out having a playtime with a friend, it's quiet, but when he's home, I'm the one person he comes to for everything from "I hurt my knee" to "come look at my Legos". So feast or famine in regard to 'alone time'.

We didn't put him in any camps this summer: he's focused on swimming and judo, so I get small breaks when he's attending lessons, too. There's a nice Jewish deli near the dojo, so I go grab a bagel and a pint while he's in his class and read my book. This is something I look forward to immensely: there are some weeks when this is my ONLY time completely alone for a few days in a row.

Parenting is never easy for more than five minutes at a time, so enjoy that morning cup!

ETA: Christy Lee, you crack me up! It reminded me that I sometimes kick MYSELF outside to do yard work and sometimes he doesn't follow.... and yes, earlier bedtime than some other families. He has quiet play and quiet reading time to wind down. Works for us. :)

I wake up early before the entire house gets up (5 or 5:30am).
I sit quietly w/my cup of coffee then take the dog for a walk.
Sometimes I sneak out of the house in the evening when everyone is
busy talking moving around the house. I go for a quick 20 min walk all
ALONE. ;) It's quite lovely.
Sometimes I say I have to run a quick errand but instead I escape to the
nearby library for 30 mins. It's heaven......so quiet!! ;)
Every once in a while I run an errand. It's just nice to be in the car all by
myself for a few mins.
I've hidden in the bathroom before. It only lasts about 15 mins before I
am discovered.

My alone time is at night when the children are sleeping. If I am craving a bit more time, I wait until my husband is home and then I go run errands by myself. I will also wait to go to the library as a family so I can sneak off to the adult area while dad is with the girls. Sometimes I say you girls have a snack and watch a show while I read a chapter in my room. Alone. Without you. That still usually involves at least one interruption but I'll take what I can get.

Once school starts I will have mornings to myself 4 days a week (when I'm not subbing).

Usually after everyone else is in bed.
When my child was small, I'd get up nice & early and take a book somewhere to get tea & a roll...it felt like heaven to concentrate in the same thing for an hour!

I cracked up at you calling 6:30-7:00 early. That's my version of sleeping late now, with my kids school schedule. Even in the summer I can't usually sleep past then because my internal clock wakes me up. My kids didn't get up until 9am today, so I was up first too.

My husband takes them out to movies, fishing, etc. while I stay home or do whatever. He used to take them for whole weekends to visit a friend but that friend lives in our town now.

I also make plans of my own with friends or whatnot, leaving my kids home with their dad. Usually just a few hours during day or an evening, but I've also planned girls-only vacations with my sister or a friend and left town for 3-4 days.

Since I was a W/SAHM, I got a lot of alone-time opportunity when my kids were in school. Of course, I ended up spending way too much time volunteering around kids, so I kind of sabotaged myself sometimes. LOL

What works for me with 2 kids might not suit you with 5+3 kids. You have to find the options that work within your ability.

WHAT ALONE TIME?? AAAHHHghh..

I have a "book club" that meets some nights or mornings at a local coffee shop. It is a one member book club. Otherwise a few minutes before everyone gets up.

i'm not and never have been a morning person, so for me it's always been at night. when i had little ones at home, my dh loved to have the time alone with his boys sometimes so i'd get some then too.
fortunately it's never been a struggle with my dh. he's always been an all-in dad.
of course, we just had 2 to deal with! no clue how it would work with 8.
:) khairete
S.

I take it. I schedule it.

When my son was little, I had several "days off" per month, either on a weekend or during the week (even better - fewer crowds!). My husband works at home so we just scheduled a few days off a month for me. I started by doing errands and stuff for the family, and realized that was absolutely not the point of time off! So I would take my son to preschool and then keep going. My husband worked until preschool pick-up time, then gave our son lunch and some play time, then put him down for his usual 3-hour nap, and went back to work with the baby monitor next to his desk. If our son woke up, my husband handled it. If he slept, my husband kept working.

My husband learned that I needed to be happy for myself, and for everyone else to be happy. We both understood that, if I waited for everything else to be done, I'd never ever get my own needs met.

So I used my special time to take myself to lunch if I couldn't find a friend (I took a good book or a few crossword puzzles or a dumb magazine), I went to the movies by myself (really fun - no crowds, just sitting in the dark at a flick my husband didn't care to see), I browsed in stores for stuff I wasn't going to buy but wanted to fantasize about, I went to get fitted to a new bra, I got a facial, etc. Very restorative!!

It's not really alone time, but I'm away from my kids for 8+hours per day as it is while I'm at work. So once I'm home, I try to be all theirs.

And, my kids need less sleep than I do! So I go to bed when they do, and they wake me up at 6:30AM every day, so neither early or late are an option for me.

DH and I give each other a night or afternoon out usually once a week. It's sanity saving.

Lunchtime when DH is not working from home and DD is in summer camp is me time. Errands in the car without anybody is me time. Showering is me time. Whenever DH will manage the kid, run errands with her, go for a bike ride, etc. is me time. Anytime SD will take DD somewhere is me time. I carve it out where I can. Some days I fall into bed with no me time that day.

I'm the only female in a house full of males, so I get alone time when they are doing more traditional "boy" things, or I just take the time when I need it. Sometimes a new superhero movie will come out, and my husband and the boys will be excited about it, so they will go out for dinner and to see the movie. That gives me an evening just for me.

Often I will leave the boys to there own devices and leave the house to do whatever I want to do, but it feels more like "me" time whenever I'm at home alone.

I use to get up early in the morning but then I had another baby. This toddler gets up before 6. I'm hopeful to get my alone time again at some point. Right now I'm just trying to get as much sleep as possible.

The only alone time I get is when I am on the train to work or if I get a chance to go to the store by myself. Otherwise, it does not exist---if when I was out of work.