Working Mom - How to Handle It All???!!

My children also went to bed early. They needed the sleep. But I know that many early sleepers get enough rest and are ready to connect in the morning before school. So one thing you might want to do is skip the super lunch prep plan and sit and enjoy breakfast with him, talking, sharing jokes and maybe reading or retelling a favorite story. All my best.

So my opinion is that Yes you can have it all BUT NOT 24/7. There will be days that you can do it all and deserve the MVP award and days where doing the minimum is a struggle. I would prioritize everything in my life and focus on the areas I can reduce. I would look into crockpot freezer cooking or at least prepping meals for the crock pot the night before (look for one that has a removeable insert you can put in the fridge and pop it in the cooker in the morning). You didnt say if you had a significant other to help you. My husband does the cooking because he gets home before me. I get home at 7 and dinner is just about ready. Thats just what needs to happen. Let him help you make his lunches. You will be bonding AND he will be learning a skill. Good luck. Hang in there. It will get easier as he gets older.

You do the best you can and remember that the world really doesn't revolve around your child.

Yes, I said it.

If you're providing him with a stable and consistent environment, he trusts you and loves you, is growing and eating, learning and curious, you're doing a good job! Don't get hung up on making school lunches in the shape of "Where The Wild Things Are." That doesn't matter. The like PB&J or crackers and cheese just fine. Don't get hung up on chore charts, which don't work in the long term, just give him some age appropriate chores, 3 to start with, and add one occasionally when he's mastered them.

Enjoy the time you have, but don't get so hung up on "focusing" on your son every day. Kids don't need that all the time. It kinda turns them into little jerks. Kids need to have us around. Cooking dinner together. Cleaning the Legos off the floor together. Talking about and doing life together. Kids need to see us busy, sometimes stressed, sometimes working hard...so they know how to navigate those situations themselves. They need to see that we value them and accept and love them as they are. Even if it's 20 minutes, that 20 minutes is important, and it doesn't have to be fancy or complicated. Yes, it's great to do special, planned activities every so often, but REAL quality time is that 10 minutes when you tuck him in, sing a song, and ask him about his favorite and least favorite things about the day. It's talking with him while he's in the tub. It's praying over dinner together. It's SMALL stuff that you are probably already doing every night.

I really think you're overthinking. Chill, mama. You're doing just fine.

What time does he get up? My kids NEVER went to bed as early as seven, and they stopped napping (most days) when they were two and a half. They went down around 8:30 and got up at 6:30-ish. Is ten hours of sleep not enough for your son?
Maybe he does in fact need a LOT of sleep, but maybe you should at least try letting him stay up a bit later...?
p.s. screw the "chore chart" you don't need it. Just make "helping mommy" a part of his life (setting the table, putting away dishes, etc.) after all THAT is quality time too, and it's productive and educational!

There's no way to "do it all."

I have a schedule to take a half hour lunch and leave at 4:30. That can make a big difference in my commute. If I leave at 5, I'm home around 6. If I leave at 4:30, I'm home about 5. I miss the beginning of rush hour.

The only cleaning we do is dishes unless something weird happens. We make sure the kitchen counters and dishes are done, but otherwise we don't worry about chores.

My daughter's daycare helps with homework after school. Take advantage of this if your child's does as well. Make sure to talk to the school age teacher and let them know you would like his homework done, if possible.

My husband makes our daughter's lunch after she goes to bed. She's in 2nd grade, so 8 pm is her bedtime. Plenty of time for him to make up a lunch.

We don't sweat it. We do laundry every other week, then a deep clean when we can't take the clutter anymore. If we each clean a bathroom, it takes half an hour or so. Right now it's Renaissance Festival time in KC, plus my infant and I both came down with double ear infections (and strep for me, yay!) this last weekend, so we're getting to the end of what I can take, although I did disinfect all remotes, knobs, and doorknobs this weekend to try to prevent the spread of germs.

Spend time with your kiddo. When he grows up, what are you going to remember? How clean your house was, or the times you sat and read books with him or played with him?

One big thing would be to see if whoever is taking care of him from the time he gets out of school to the time you get home can help him with his homework... That is one huge obstacle out of the way, because then you can bond with him during dinner prep/mealtime. Some of the best time I spend with my 4yo is when she is "helping" me make dinner. :)

Something always has to "give."
Either elaborate food prep, work hours, laundry, etc.
Even with VERY flexible PT hours or work from home? You're missing that prescience at the office. No O., believe me, NO O. has it perfect! (No matter what they may say!)
Think of it this way: this might be the "worst" it will be. As he grows, he'll gain evening time, etc....
Soooooo.....here are some ideas for you while you're in the thick if it:
Cook several meals in the weekend to get you through half of the week.
Use a crockpot.
Make him a yummy lunch after he's in bed.
Tackle laundry & bathrooms on weeknights after his bedtime.
Do story time Fri, Sat & Sunday
Re-think "what is a meal" -- can be soup, salad, bread or leftovers or takeout.
Nobody needs to embrace "any port in a storm" like a working mom!
Let go of the guilt!
Good luck!

I have an amazing husband that gives 50/50. He steps up where I can't and vice versa. Otherwise, my life would be a complete frazzled mess. Also, my kid in kindergarten went to bed a little later than yours- around 8:30 and up at 7. My husband does drop off in the morning, and I do pickup so I can leave a little earlier for work. That did provide a little extra time.
Can you work with your employer to change or adjust your work schedule? I was able to do so, well I HAD to do so after my second child was born. I'm off at 4:30 each day- home by about 5:15 after school/daycare pickups. I don't get much of a lunch, but it's worth it to get out a little early.

It's a myth that working mothers juggle it all. Most of the time we have bruises from the balls being dropped when they are flung at us from all different directions.

#1 - lower your standards. Or get enough money that you can have a couple nannies and a full staff. hee hee.

#2. Cut yourself some slack.

#3. I looked at the time I have available (after I cut out stuff and really came up with a "this is how much time I have on this day) and then decided how I wanted to spend it.

I agree with Marie - outsource homework and chores. Unless you LIKE to do those things. Then outsource dinner or whatever else you don't like. If you really only have an HOUR per weeknight with your son.... then you have to cut out everything except what you really want to do with him or what benefits him the most.

Where is he after school? And what time does his kindergarten end?
If he could still take a nap without it destroying his sleep pattern.... you could have his after school provider give him a nap. Then he could have an 8pm or so bedtime. That would give you another hour.
what time does he get up? Could you enlist in morning care at your house so he could sleep in later and have a later bedtime?

I also cooked ALL DAY on Sundays when my daughter was that age. Then each night we made salad and re-heated whatever the meal for the night was. So dinner from prep to end was 30 minutes. It will also reduce the dishes you have to do each night because you are re-heating and then the dishes you eat with.

Depending on your financial situation you can have someone else do the bulk of the cleaning. Then you are only straightening each day (with your son) and the couple of hours you would spend "cleaning" on the weekend or whatever you can spend at the park or reading.

Remember - Neglect is when their needs AREN'T met. It's not neglectful if you're making sure his needs are met..... it's just that they aren't being met *by you*.... so outsourcing homework to a fabulous Elem Ed teacher who really brings out his talent in Math and Science isn't neglectful (see point #2 above ---> cut yourself some slack).

Not sure if you have a cleaning service. If you don't you might want to consider roomba and or scooba. the robots which vacuum/ mop your floor.

They can be a real time saver and keep your whole house cleaner (clean floors means less dust).

Best,
F. B.

My kids have always gone to bed at 9, which has been a blessing because we do have more time at the end of the day. It's a tough transition but you'll all adjust to your new normal soon. You just make the best of the time you have and know that in the end, it's all fine.

I've got a "mother of the year (not)" schedule going right now - I don't see my teenagers before they go to school because they get up early and leave with my husband, and then my younger sons and I get up an have about an hour together in the morning. Lately I teach or tutor after my day job, so I get home between 8:30 and 9:30 PM. I just got home 30 minutes ago and as I type this, my younger boys are sitting beside me finishing up homework and packing their bags for the morning. We'll have a quick story and they'll be in bed in 15 minutes, then I'll have a light dinner, work for another hour or two (short staffed at my day job) and do it all over again tomorrow.

I've been working FT+ with kids in school for 11 years and counting, That transition when my oldest started K was the worst of it. I felt guilty if we didn't pick him up before 6 (the afterschool program was open until 6:30 but I didn't want him to be the last one there) and we were all exhausted. Five years of routine went out the window overnight. No one told me how hard it would be, and my kid had been in daycare since infancy!

After a few months, he will adjust to the intensity of the school day and will be able to stay awake longer at night. In the meantime, homework should be done at his afterschool program. That's what you pay them for, so have him do it there.

Meal plan and cook as much as you can in advance so that when you come home, you're eating dinner in 15 minutes. I use the crock pot a lot and over the weekend will marinate or pre-cook chicken, assemble fish, make mason jar salads, make and bake pasta dishes (like lasagne) that can be re-heated quickly, etc. While the main course is reheating or cooking, steam some veggies, re-heat pre-cooked sides like mashed potatoes or rice, etc.

If you have more time in the morning, try to use that as your low-key together time. I have always covered the morning shift and my husband covers the dinner shift when I work evenings. Mornings with my little boys are my time to make them breakfast and lunch, walk to school and try to start the day slowly. Sometimes it's a mad dash with lots of yelling and threats but those days don't happen often.

Because your son is in bed early, use your evenings to prep the next day's lunch and dinner, pack your morning bags, and get ready so that you can have as much mother/son time in the morning as possible.

You'll find your way soon, I promise!

I use to go in to work as early as possible.
This meant taking child to day care soon as they opened (6:30am), being the first into the office at 7am (I turned the lights on in the building), doing errands during lunch and then being the first to leave the office (at 3:30pm) so I could pick up our child and be home with him for the afternoon and evening.
My husband would get home at 7pm and often would catch us during bath time/bed time routine.
Sure it was hard.
But it worked for us.

Make the most of the time you have. It is a daily juggle, but things that generally work for me:
- I work playtime into the morning. For us, the bus doesn't come until 8:45, and we are up early, so we often have time for a morning walk or a board game, or whatever, before school and work.
- He does his homework after school before I get home so one less thing for me to worry about.
- My husband starts dinner so I'm not totally crazed when I walk in the door. Do you have help from someone who could do this? (not sure if you are a single mom or not)
- My kids don't go to bed until late, but it seems to me that if your son goes to sleep at 7, you could have dinner and just let the dishes sit and wait to be taken care of after he's in bed.
-Make up for it on the weekend by really being there with your child when you are with him. Sometimes, for me, this mean completely turning my iPhone off so my email isn't distracting me.

Good luck!

ETA: Oh, yeah, lunches. What I've realized is that my child doesn't need a lot of variety. In fact, he doesn't want a lot of variety in his lunches. I used to feel bad sending him the same 3 things all the time - but he prefers it! So, I make him happy and make it easy for me by just making mass quantities of what he wants, and serving it to him in his lunch all week. In our house, that's pasta, tacos, and grilled chicken.
Pasta - of course that's easy to make a bunch, and have a lot of marinara sauce frozen. Heat it in the morning and put it in the food thermos.
Taco meat - I make 3 lbs at a time and freeze them in small portions that I can easily microwave in the morning. Put it into the food thermos with a small container of shredded cheese on the side, 2 soft taco shells, and some cherry tomatoes.
Grilled chicken: every time we have it for dinner, we just make extra. Again, freeze in portion sizes, heat in the morning and put in the hot thermos. Apple slices on the side.

With the exception of the fruits/tomatoes, everything on this list can be bought in big quantities, frozen, and reheated in the morning with little time or effort.

Just about the cute lunches - my mom stayed home and was not stressed. Yet I had peanut butter all the time for years. Partly I didn't like other sandwiches but it was also normal. No mom made cutesy lunches. We all survived and I tell my kids that a great lunch everyday is a perk of being an adult. Seriously. School lunches weren't great but it almost should be like that. They're kids. They're so catered to nowadays what incentive is there to grow up? So I'm making one the ability to buy a good lunch for yourself everyday. I've been working over 25 years and I still take pleasure in a good lunch I buy at work in contrast to years of peanut butter sandwiches or gross hot school lunches. So look at it that way and figure you're building character and leaving him something to look forward to. :)

One thing I don't do is cook every night. I do cook on the weekends. I cook extra and freeze some of it. It is simply too time consuming to try and cook in the evenings when I also get home around 6:00 (though my kids go to bed still 8:00, not 7:00).

My big focus on week nights is homework, reading, baths and bed. If there's time, maybe a tv show or some outside play. That's about it.

I would love to be organized enough for a chore chart, but that's just too much. Instead, I try to find ways my kids can help me during the weekend - load or unload dishwasher, feed cat, pick up toys and trash in the backyard, fold socks. I don't think it necessarily has to be specific chores. Right now I'm focusing on making sure my kids learn how to do things send hoping they understand that everyone pitches in.

Try to focus on what you can do, rather than what you can't. And remember, none of us really do it all.

ETA - My kids both get a sandwich, some fruit and a dessert in their lunch box everyday ... and sandwich has been the same all year! School lunch should be some protein, some fruit or veggie and a little treat. If that's not enough, maybe some goldfish or pretzels.

Lady year bedtime was 8:30, but too often it was closer to 9:00 pm. Even the my youngest is in kindergarten now, the morning starts at 6:30, just like it did last year. We learned that adjusting to kindergarten is harder than you'd think, but once we moved bedtime to 8:00, it's been much easier on everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if we get to relax that a bit in a few months. But for now, 8:00 it is. Happy, well rested kids make for happier parents and teachers.

You're not alone! It's hard but it can also be great. I have 3 younger elem kids and work full time and often long hours. I think you've already gotten some great advice about adjusting your expectations.

1. The weeks are long and about school / schedule and work
2. The weekend are family time. We limit extra activities to the week with limited exceptions and weekends are family time, church and maybe a birthday party. This starts with Friday night - a movie night with popcorn and the air mattress or sleeping bags in the living room.

3. Outsource where you can (get a cleaning service)
4. Streamline - ie I buy almost everything on amazon (paper goods, birthday presents, books etc) and go to Sprouts 1 x a week - this has been huge. Plus I can get in and out of Sprouts quickly.
5. You mentioned lunches - it's about planning. If you have supplies on hand it only takes a couple minutes. You can even get your little guy involved in making them Make cold lunches and store in fridge a few days and do leftovers in thermos a few days - which is fast.

HTH. Sometimes just knowing we aren't alone is good ;)

hee! i wrote out a fairly long response before i realized that 'what changed?' is a rhetorical question, and the 'how do you manage?' is the actual question! :D
i feel ya. i worked an awful lot, sometimes 3 jobs at a time, when my boys were small. so much guilt, such overwhelming stress. so many perfect-family scenarios to strive for, and so much self-chastisement when i couldn't produce norman rockwell family evenings and holidays.
take a deep breath, and give yourself a pat. you're doing the best you can, and sometimes that doesn't look ideal. the problem is less about your tough schedule and more about being calm and happy and in the moment when you CAN be with your little boy. and you can do that. you really can.
first off, let go of unrealistic expectations. you cannot make dinner, eat it, do homework AND have fun cuddle time with your son in one hour. you just can't. so you need to prioritize. yes, you all need to eat. you don't say what your husband does- can he get dinner started before you get home? can you do the marathon fix-and-freeze on the weekends? line up crock pot ingredients? i mean, if you throw some frozen chicken breasts, a bag of vegetables and some rice in the crock pot on your way out the door in the morning you come home to deliciousness. another option would be to send dinner with your son to his daycare so he can eat there at 4:30 or 5, and just enjoy a late snack with you while he does his homework. or his dad and he can have dinner before you get home and save you a plate that you can eat after he goes to bed. or his dad can supervise his homework before you get home. knock out a couple of those 'musts' so they're not eating up your precious time.
don't feel as if you have to pack a ton of sweetness into his pre-bed routine. when you're feeling guilty it's very tempting to overdo forcing 'quality time' into every minute you have. quality time is often just being there. sitting quietly with him while he's in the tub. snuggling together for bedtime story time. having him help you with the dishes while he tells you about his day.
'better' school lunches is simply a matter of thinking ahead and shopping smart. it doesn't take any longer to fix a meh lunch than it does a good one. you can probably throw it together the night before.
let the chore chart go. you're not home during the week enough to make it worthwhile. do tell him firmly to help out when you're both there- he can walk dishes to the sink, run water and soap over them, put his clothes in the hamper, clean up his own toys if he gets 'em out, organize his backpack for the morning. charts can be helpful, but not if they're adding more stress.
remember the oxygen mask analogy. you've got to nurture yourself when you can so that you can be happy and positive for your family. get a massage every now and then. for me it was going out sometimes at 11 at night to ride my horse. carve out some time for just you. you need it. yes, you do.
it's hard not to let guilt eat your brain, but be firm with it. guilt is toxic, and it poisons the sweet, precious time you DO have. learn how to compartmentalize to some degree. work thoughts need to be focused on energetically while you're at work, and left firmly behind when you get home. and if you read a trashy romance novel, or facebook, or MP during your lunch break instead of developmental childhood textbooks, it's not the end of the world. yes, you do need to stay abreast of certain things, but your brain needs a break too.
it's okay, mama. you got this.
khairete
S.

Some great advice and tips already...

Just want to add that starting KG is a huge transition and this early bed time is just a short phase. He'll be able to stay up a little later pretty soon, so don't stress out about this as if it's a done deal the entire school year. All of my kids were exhausted the first month of school. And all of them peed the bed the first week of KG, they were that tired.

Ditto the cooking: cook once, eat twice as a working mom.

Chore chart: I've never had one...I have a chore list, that easily get's taken down and lost but we all know what's on it and what's supposed to be on it and who's supposed to do stuff...at your son's age....please do chores together, side by side....teach him on the weekends.

Make your night time routine relaxing, memorable, be present...let work go, let life's business stop for one hour. You can do that. Soak up this time with him and you'll both feel refreshed and connected.

Can you leave work earlier and do some work at home after your son goes to bed. 7pm is really early to us. We don't eat dinner usually till then and my kids have always been up until about 9:00. Sometimes I wished they went to bed at 7! :) But his sleep is very impt but lots of people put their kids to bed and then do an hour of work on the computer. That would give you an extra hour with him. And outsource every thing you can. Hire cleaning people if possible, use the meal places that have you assemble ingredients so less work at home, anything else you can afford to outsource helps. And don't worry about the chore chart! My kids are several years older than yours and no chore chart and they're good kids! I never had one and keep a spotless house today so didn't hurt me. That's the first thing I'd stop worrying about...

We all hear you! You have just have to do less!

What time do you leave in the morning? If your kindergartener is going to bed at 7 PM, he's probably getting up early but has a relatively late school start (compared to high school). So there's probably time in the morning to have some together time.

Homework? How much does a kindergartener really get? Someone else must be helping you, right? Do you have a husband or a nanny or a sitter? Surely someone can do some of it.

On your way home from work, are you stressing about how much you have to do? Try really hard to put some calming music on, or a book on tape, and decompress! Then you'll be fresher when you get home and not frantic about what all you have to do.

A lot of cookbooks and people like Rachael Ray have done family plans where the whole family cooks a week's worth of meals on Sunday and, with rare nights of leftovers, there are plenty of things ready made that just have to be heated up. Whoever is doing your son's after school care can surely put something in the oven for you to be heated and ready when you get home. Stack the dishes in the center of the breakfast table at night, so the breakfast dishes can be cleared away and the dinner table set quickly. That's a good job for your son and his caregiver too. After dinner, teach your son to bring his plate and silverware to the sink or dishwasher, but then leave everything until after he goes to bed.

After he goes to bed, pick one activity for the evening. Once a week, read a book on child development. Another night do laundry and just fold/sort while watching TV. I'm a firm believer in kids helping to sort laundry and put it away - make a game of it (matching socks, stacking similar things together, etc.). It's also a good weekend activity or something for a rainy day. Third night, vacuum. Make better school lunches? Make several all together and freeze - sandwiches freeze very well and you can make 5 almost as quickly as you can make 1. Small packs of carrots or cheese cubes or cookies or pretzels can be put in small containers or zipper bags put in the fridge for a quick grab in the morning - or pack the lunch box the night before and put it in the fridge. Juice or water can be put in 5 reusable bottles and kept in the fridge, saving you the time and expense of buying juice bottles or boxes that have to be recycled or thrown out.

Chore charts can be bought at any teacher store or on line, or at office stores or toy stores. You can also get a write on/wipe off type that is magnetic and sticks on the refrigerator. Stickers are cheap at the dollar store. Make an activity with your child of going for one, picking out the stickers, and coming up with the jobs. That's a big part of connecting with your kid - so you get the time with him and get the job done.

Read to him while he's in the tub, or make a chore chart while sitting there watching him in the bath. Go over his spelling words or flash cards while he's in the tub - it's a great time because he can't go anywhere and has to pay attention to you! Multitask in a fun way, not a distracted way.

Finally, take it easy on yourself. Not every chore has to be done every day. Close the bedrooms doors and don't make the beds every day. Or just pull up the comforter and call it a day. Use paper plates one night a week so there's no dishwashing. Recycle heavily the other 6 days so you don't feel guilty!

Figure out the most rewarding things to do with your son, and do those in the one hour. Add in a half hour in the morning - if you are organized and the morning isn't a chaotic time, you'll enjoy it. Get up 1/2 hour earlier than your son so you can have coffee and a shower without distraction. Delegate other things to whomever else is in his life as a family member or caregiver.

Drop the guilt. Stop believing all the super-mum self promotion on Facebook from friends. It's all just smoke and mirrors. Get your husband to do the homework stuff, or make the (non gourmet, non Pinterestesq) lunches, or cook dinner. Make up a chore chart in your lunch break at work - if you must have one at all. Extend bedtime to 7.30 pm.

Don't buy into the hype. You're doing a fantastic job already.

First, you are not neglecting him. There is just a lot to fit into the day.

What time does he get up in the morning? My son went to bed at 8 pm (started tooth brushing at that time, then stories, so in bed by 8:30) and we woke him up at 7:45 am). You will have more time with him if he sleeps later in the morning and goes to be later. The first month of kindergarten was hard. DS was exhausted. But, that passes and he went back to his regular 8 pm bedtime within a month or so.

He should have very little (5-10 minutes max) or zero homework in kindergarten. There is plenty of evidence that there is no benefit to young children (earlier than high school) of homework. If it is taking more than 5 minutes, I would speak with his teacher. It is perfectly fine to tell her that you will not do homework that interferes with limited family time. My son's first grade teacher was perfectly fine with that approach.

If there is homework, most after cares are well equipped to help. My son (now in 3rd grade) can do his homework at his after school program. The teachers will help him if he needs it, as well as provide a quiet place, work surface, etc. Also (as below) an aftercare that has one teacher for 20 kids is WAY understaffed. My son's has two teachers and some 'helpers' for 15-22 kids (varies during the week). They encourage the kids to do homework. I don't see how forbidding homework would work for kids who go to school and then aftercare and are not home until 6-6:30 in the afternoon.

Dinner - I like all the make ahead suggestions, but I have never actually done them. I can throw together dinner in under 30 minutes and we do tend to eat fairly healthy so this is not an area I tend to compromise. DS can help with dinner or is generally in the kitchen area so we can chat or he can play while DH or I cook.

School lunches. I pack my son's lunch in the morning before I wake him up. It takes less than 5 minutes to cut up some veggies, make a sandwich and put a piece of fruit into a lunch bag. I also (or DH) make breakfast before waking DS up.

Do you have a partner? If so, he should be doing 1/2 of all this stuff. Does he/she get home from work first? If so, he can start dinner. Does he get up first in the morning? If so, he can make breakfast and pack lunch.

7:00 seems awfully early! My son took naps up until K, but at that age he was ready to give it up.

Diane B has some great ideas.

For our family I work until 5 then go pick up kids and then drive home (we live 40 minutes from town) we get home around 615 if we don't have traffic. We eat around 7ish and then its showers and reading with bedtime at 830. Twice a week we have sports so that extend are arrival time

Homework is usually done in aftercare at the kids school so unless it is a project or report we do not have to deal with that. ( i just check it for them )

I make a lot of dinners in the crock pot, that has been a life saver for us.

You can only do the best you can. Keep you chin up I am sure you are doing fine.
Many blessings

If he is in kindergarten, 7 is WAY too early for bed. He should be able to stay up until 8 or 830 and not have any problems.

You need to use a crock pot to have dinner ready, or cook the night before and just have to reheat. Then you can take that time to help with homework, chat, play a game, read a book, whatever.

Is there a dad that can help with some of that?

If he is going to bed so early, that leaves you lots of time after he is in bed to make him a great lunch, prep dinner for the next night, get chores done, and put your feet up.

Here is what works in MY house. I work from 630-330 every Monday-Thursday, one Friday I work 630-230 and the other Friday I am off...that's 80 hours every two weeks. I go in so early so I am home to get my kids off the bus, I start homework and get them snacks, I also get them ready for whatever activity they have that night (dance is 3 nights a week and football is 2). My husband puts them all on the bus, and he is sometimes home before me (he technically works from home most of the time now), but either way. Dinner is either already done in the crock pot, something easy that night, leftovers, or out. Our kids also get their chores done, read, and have time to just hang out. They make their own lunches (have since they were in K/1) and either do that at night or in the morning (we have all easy grab and go stuff, so it only takes time to make a sandwich). Clothes are picked the night before as well.

So basically, you need to work a day ahead of time, Be ready for tomorrow when you get up today, as far as plans. I know what dinner is tonight and tomorrow night...homework is done for the week, and we basically take things as they go. You have to be flexible and not kick yourself when something doesn't get done.

I made sure my degree would ensure me a job where I could have flex hours or work from home as needed. I just shift my hours around to fit the need. Kind of sucks now because my younger two are teens. I may be home but you wouldn't know they were.

Hang in there, mama. Make adjustments where you can to save/shave off
time. Here are some ideas:
-make slow cooker meals to save time you'd be making dinner
-make dinners on Sundays & freeze (even just things like cooked ground
beef for tacos & spaghetti, make things like Shepherds pie, lasagna etc.)
-p/u a rotisserie chicken, coleslaw or potato salad one night
-depending on what time you have to wake him up to drop him off at
school or daycare, change his bed to a later time esp if he can handle
that. 7pm seems awfully early esp if you are not getting him up at 5am.
How about 8:30pm? Read a story in bed right before bedtime, work
after that.
-school lunches can be quick. I get them ready after he goes to bed or if
he's busy playing for a few mins. I throw it together very quickly. It's ready in a bin on the counter to be put into this lunchbox (which is chilling
in the freezer so it'll stay cold all day plus has a small little ice pack in it I
added), juice box in fridge, persishables like his lunch meat in fridge that I
make up in morning).
-I make my lunch the night before too & put in fridge so all I have to do is
grab it & go
-I make a menu of what I want to make for the week (meatless Mondays,
Taco Tuesday, Weiner Wed (sausages), Thai Thurs, Free Friday (pizza)
etc.
-I do all of my work at night after they go to bed.
-I do a 1 load of laundry at night aft they go to bed (wash, dry, leave in the dryer). Or you can do it all on the weekends preferably Sunday so you
can rest Saturday.
-I run errands (grocery shopping on the weekend) plus plan one special thing each weekend.
-I enlist help when I need it.
-I workout early morning or later in evening so I don't miss out on any
time w/my kids.
-I do fun things during the week w/them at home (life doesn't stop or wait
for me or let's me put it on hold so I don't want to miss out).
-as you said "you work to live". Remember that. Can you run any errands
on your lunch hour? I do that (dry cleaning, workouts, light grocery
shopping etc.).
-So this is how a typical day could go:
6am awaken, 20 mins w/o tape, shower
7am awaken child, let him watch a cartoon while he eats his breakfast (if
he's not a morning eater let him eat a bar, dry cereal or egg burrito in
car on way to school)
8am leave, drop off at school w/a kiss & a hug, off to work
12 lunch hour (eat, workout or run errands, once in awhile I'll meet a
friend or co-worker for lunch)
5 leave for work, pick up kids, get home, eat dinner in crock pot or quick
throw together of quick food I've already prepared while they start home-
work (I can oversee as they work in kitchen). Go over homework, quick
bath, read story, tuck into bed. Then I get my outfit for work picked out,
my lunch, my hand bag packed & put by front door.
-at this age, chore chart is not as important & if you do one it has to be
simple (put away your toys, put your dish in sink, dust entertainment
center he can reach etc.).
-Find the free time. Make the free time by letting go of something else.
For example, I don't run errands after work (all on my lunch hour or wkends),
-I do fun things w/my kids after work (park, bike ride, look for wkend
activities, pumpkin patch, rainy days we go to the indoor mall etc.).
-I do quick showers, sit down at the end of the night to devote time to
return emails (15 mins), watch a show etc.
Hang in there & just prioritize, organize AND plan ahead.

ETA

ETA

Your child care workers should NOT help your child with their homework AND your child shouldn't have very much homework to begin with.

Do you SERIOUSLY think the teacher at child care who probably has 20 kids in her care to take time and sit down and ignore the rest of the group to help your child do homework? That's not going to happen.

They might take 5 seconds here and there but it's not going to be productive homework. He does it at home with you.

I completely refused to let kids do homework at my center. For one thing there's no telling if the person managing that class can even do the work your child has. I am in my later 50's and math has completely changed since I took it so if I was your child's teacher you can bet I'm going to show them how to do something the way "I" know how to do it.

So I told my parents that our job was to provide the kids with a good snack after school and give them opportunity to have some down time and that if they didn't like that they could pick the kids up after school themselves. Most of my friends that owned child care centers felt the same.

The teacher is responsible for up to 20 school age kids who are tired and hungry and needing to play for a while and breaking up arguments is not unheard of. They don't have time to sit and ignore the rest of the class to help one child do school work.

*********************
Well, first of all your kindergartner is the same age as the rest of the kindergartners and I pretty much bet NONE of them go to bed at 7pm. This poor kid doesn't have a life. Your decision to put him to bed so early basically makes you and dad into strangers.

Now I will say that I don't know what time you get him up in the morning. If it's before 7am then he should be able to do fine with an 8 or even a 9pm bedtime. Have some time after dinner with him. Goodness, he deserves to have some family time instead of cram his dinner in his mouth and stick him in bed.