How Do Single Parents Manage When They Are Sick?

Updated on February 26, 2008
M.G. asks from Deerfield, IL
7 answers

I'm just wondering how other single parents manage to keep things running when they get ill. I have been battling pneumonia since mid December. I'm on my 3rd round of antibiotics and I hope I'm on my way to feeling better. But I feel so bad about my daughter. Her winter break was filled with TV. I manage to feed her and keep her in clean clothes but other than that she's been left with a lot of free time and nothing better to do. I am new in my community and family is minimumly helpful. My parents are quite elderly. What do you do to keep your kids busy when your under the weather?

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R.T.

answers from Chicago on

Does she have friends from school...
Maybe try to arrange playdates here and there and appeal to some of the parents if it wouldn't be to much of an inconvenience to either pick her up or drop her off. Then you only have to drive one way. Sometimes knowing she is busy for a few hours...and out of the house helps and then having to drive to pick her up or drop her off is worth it. Also I stock up on easy to do craft projects that don't need supervision (even for a first grader) when they go on sale then whip them out one or two a day depending on how many I have on hand which keeps my kids busy for a little while. Another thing to think about is starting a "pen-pal" have some cute cards or stationary on hand and have her draw pictures or if she needs to practice her lettering or writing (not sure what she is up to in school, then pick a long distance relative or school friend or even a soldier and add a short note of your own which you can write from bed and send it off. those are just a few suggestions to get you started

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

Yeah, great question. Really you can only do the best you can do. Can you find/ hire a friend, neighbor, teenager to either come in and play with dd while you rest or even better have them take her somewhere? Do you belong to a church that might be able to help out? Are there classes at the park district you can sign her up for or set up play dates?

It's especially hard when you have recently moved somewhere. I think ultimately you do the best you can and try not to feel guilty about it. You just make sure the basics get taken care of and let the rest slide. Hang in there!

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

OK, if you weren't raised in a church of some kind or another this sounds like kind of Polly Anna advice. Consider finding a community here, a church community is a good place to start. You don't have to be Christian! You could Google Unitarian Universalist Churches and find one near you. UU's have a really diverse belief system that ranges from Athiest to Christian, people who marry someone of anther faith, people raised Jewish who don't practice, Agnostic and a lot of folks trying to decide where they fit.

There is a UU church in Deerfield, I think that's by Northbrook right. Otherwise, consider the church you grew up in or visiting a few (if only online) to find something that works with your belief system, whatever it is. In the last 3 months I have taken food to 3 families from church, helped organize a memorial service and invited a number of newcomers to a women's retreat next month...actually in Deerfield! At other times church members have taken my children for playdates when we needed a little help, I have taken theirs. I was brought food when I came home with my 2nd child from the hospital and have made so many friends. People seem to get that sometimes they give and sometimes they receive.

Honestly, 10 years ago I would have laughed at the idea of suggesting a church...any church to somebody as a means of support. Now it is so important, even though my family can be really different from some of the other members.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I am a single mom of three. it is very hard when your sick. that is really hard when your family can't help much. i rely on mother alot, but there are times when im sick she cant help. and i do the same thing. keep the tv on, video games. whatever it takes. my 9 and 10 yr old can play nicely at times or they can fight like crazy. don't feel bad for putting her in front of the tv or letting her have lots of free time. it happens and its all we can do at times being there is only one of us to take care of them. hang in there. i hope you feel better soon. i know what its like to have pneumonia and take care of kids. its very difficult.

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

First, pat yourself on the back for the tremendous job you are/have been doing! Second, know that there are millions of other women just like you that can and are doing it (strength in numbers!) But the one thing you can do is ask for help (a closed mouth doesn't get fed) AFter the birth of my daughter, I asked a few of the moms of my son's school friends about getting the kids together for play dates. They were more than happy to oblige, and I've been able to "pay back" a few times. I'm sure some of the moms of your daughter's friends would have no problem having your daughter over while you were feeling under the weather, and you can reciprocate when you are better. (They will need it just as badly at some point!) Also, check out craigslist.org, and look for a fun babysitter (if you can afford it) that can take your daughter to a museum or park or something for the day. Lastly, there are plenty of indoor activities your daughter can do with minimal help. She can do art projects, play games on the computer (there are a million kid websites out there, my son loves pbskids.org) play scavenger hunt, house (put a blanket over a table and few chairs) etc.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

Perhaps try to arm yourself with games she can do on her own and all you need to do is help her rotate them in and out. For a 1/2 hour she plays with play-doh, then have her clean it up and get out some puzzles for a 1/2 hour, then have her do only coloring for a 1/2 hour, then polly pockets or whatever....so on and so forth. Of course have a movie worked into the day too.

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J.F.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My girls are older (8/11yo) but when they were young and I was sick OMG they thought the had stopped!
I went to Dollar General and bought crayons, coloring books, plain paper and construction paper (all for like $6-7) then went to the libraries movie rental section and got about 3-4 movies that they picked out. Dollar General also has activity books for your daughters age.
They colored for me and made pictures of what they thought would help mommy get better, It kept them busy and taught them some self entertaining and gave me a chance to focus on getting better with lots and lots of rest.

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